Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all. All credit goes to her for the lines utilized from her books.

~This was an entry for the Twilight round of The Canon Tour~

The dates in the emails correspond to the Twilight Lexicon timeline.


10th (Thurs) – Edward's turn to ask questions. (TW11)

11th (Fri) – Edward leaves after lunch to hunt with Alice. (TW12)

12th (Sat) – Edward takes Bella to the Meadow. They spend the night together with Edward just holding Bella as she sleeps.(TW13-14)

13th (Sun) – Edward introduces Bella to his family – the baseball game – James targets Bella – Bella tells her father she is leaving Forks. (TW15-16-17-18-19)


From: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com

Subject: I'm so sorry… PLEASEREAD

Date: March 10, 2005 4:15 PM PDT

To: bella . wa(at)me. com


I'm so sorry I took off the way I did. I swear I had no choice. I would call you, but I'm afraid the sound of your voice would absolutely kill me. You looked so beautiful today. Blue is definitely my favorite color on you, but I digress. I obviously need to explain myself, please forgive me, it's a little awkward.

I was really looking forward to spending the day with you at school. Alice called me (to warn me) but I left my phone in my car as to give you my undivided attention. As soon as you stepped out of your house this morning when I came to pick you up, I smelled it. I'm an idiot for not realizing this would happen; you're human. I can only guess that you are having your monthly cycle…for lack of a more polite phrase.

Bella, I need to tell you something about the vampire world. I've told you how some humans smell is more appealing than others... but I need to expound further. There is a phenomenon called "la tua cantante," or in English, a loose translation is "singer." Sometimes a vampire will come across a human whose scent is more appealing than anything they've ever experienced. No one in my family has ever heard of a vampire being able to resist the temptation to drink their "singer." Emmett came across his "singer" a while back, and it didn't end well. You, Bella, are my singer. Your blood calls to me. I cannot explain the excruciating thirst I feel for you, but Bella, I love you and I would rather die than ever hurt you. Under normal circumstances, on a scale of 1-10, the temptation is at a 9.5, but I am able to control the urge. Today, though, your intoxicating scent was just too overpowering, and I was afraid that I wouldn't have been able to contain my thirst. On that same scale, it would probably be somewhere off the chart—around 100. This is a risk I am unwilling to take with you.

I have left Forks and fled north to stay with my cousins in Denali. I will return as soon as it is safe, I promise you. I realize that this unfortunately will be a monthly occurrence, but I have faith that our love can withstand the occasional distance. I actually think this might be a good thing for us. In 1844, Thomas Haynes Bayly said, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." I believe this to be true. I would like to take the opportunity to use these times to strengthen our relationship. The art of the love letter has not been lost on me.

Again, Bella, I am so sorry for running away from you, but I didn't have a choice. I care about you too much to risk something happening to you.

Please understand.

I love you,


From: bella . wa(at)me. com

Subject: RE: I'm so sorry… PLEASEREAD

Date: March 10, 2005 4:30 PM PDT

To: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com


I'm so relieved to hear from you! I can't tell you how hurt I was today. It felt like all my fears about you leaving me had been realized. I'm just so glad to know what happened. I had a whole list of reasons you ran away from me tumbling through my mind, and to be honest, your explanation wasn't even one of them. I'm so sorry. I should have been more thoughtful and I shouldn't have put you in that situation. You've explained to me before how hard it is for you, and I should have realized when I started my period that this was going to be an issue. Please…you have nothing to apologize for. It's my fault; I should have known. I really thought you left me. Please never leave me. I'm so glad to know that you're okay, and that we're okay. I know this is really weird to talk about, but just to let you know, my periods usually only last a few days. I get it from my mom…but enough about that.

I like your idea of taking this time to let our love grow. Maybe we could also get to know each other better. There's still so much I want to learn about you and your family.

I love you too,


From: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com

Date: March 10, 2005 4:51 PM PDT

To: bella . wa(at)me. com

My Love,

Please do not blame this on yourself; you're being ridiculous. This is not your fault, and I refuse to let you think of it any other way. It's not really anyone's fault. We should have realized this would happen, but it's okay. I really think it will be good that we get to communicate in this manner. People don't write letters anymore. They call, text, and leave stupid messages on MySpace (Alice promises me that site will only be a short-lived trend). The art of letter writing has really been lost on your generation, but it won't be lost on us.

Love, I want you to know how lonely my existence was until I met you. Please understand that I'm not trying to complain about my life, but rather, I want you to see the difference that you've made on me. Living with three mated couples has been very hard for me. Even in a "family" that I love very much, and that loves me in return, I have felt very alone, and I have grown increasingly bitter. I have to listen to all their intimate thoughts, and unfortunately see their recounting of previous nights' activities. I have been so jealous, specifically of what Carlisle and Esme have. Their marriage is what I ultimately aspire to. They have this beautiful mutual admiration for each other that reminds me so much of my human parents. They were very much in love, and I just always assumed that I would have that too. Over the years, I had given up hope. Not for a lack of options, but because I wanted to have that deep and passionate love for my mate that Carlisle has for Esme. I never found it. I searched everywhere to no avail…until the day I met you. Bella, you turned my whole world upside down. I have never been happier or more "alive." I had completely given up hope that I would ever find you. Then one day at measly little Forks High School, I found what had eluded me for nearly a decade—my love. I didn't even understand the meaning of the word until I met you. My innate need to protect and take care of you kicked in without me even realizing what happened. One second, I was talking to Alice beside my car, and the next, I had you in my arms, on the wet parking lot asphalt to save you from what was sure to be your impending death. I couldn't bear the thought of not hearing your heart beat again, or never seeing your cheeks flush again. I knew at that moment that you were going to be the great love of my entire existence.

You, my love, are the best thing that has ever, and will ever, happen to me.

I love you more,


From: bella . wa(at)me. com

Subject: RE: Love Letter #1

Date: March 10, 2005 9:49 PM PDT

To: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com


Should I just expect all of your emails to make me cry? I don't even know what to say. There is no way on Earth that I can respond to the beautiful words that you wrote. How could I ever let you know how much you mean to me? How can I ever express how much I love you back?

Like you, I've never been in love before. Love is something that—to be honest—I quit believing in years ago. Renée and Charlie divorced when I was only two years old. We left Forks and lived in Southern California for a few years before we finally settled in Phoenix. Renée made it clear that women only needed men for two things, and technology has made interaction with men pretty much obsolete for those things too. She would say, "Vibrators and sperm banks are just proof that a woman's needs are met more efficiently without a husband." From what you've told me, I'm sure Esme would find the way Renée talks to be a bit uncouth, but Renée is Renée. I love her and her brashness. Anyway, my point is that I grew up with a single mother who was a bit of a man-hater. It wasn't until Phil came along and completely swept her off her feet that she changed her mind on the subject. She used to have long talks with me about how she got married too young, and that she and Charlie had no idea what they were getting themselves into. I don't think she ever realized how insulting that was to me. Their marriage created me.

I was sure that I'd never have that "fairy tale" kind of love that you talk about Carlisle and Esme having. I didn't think it existed. I was pretty sure that I'd get married someday, but not until I was well into my thirties. It would have been more for tax purposes than anything else. It never occurred to me how depressing that life would be, mainly because I wasn't aware of what I would have been missing. Edward, now I know what I would have been missing. The love that I have for you far exceeds even my wildest fantasies about such a thing. I am completely confident that the love we share is so much greater than any love that Renée will ever know. That thought makes me really sad. Everyone should have this. If everyone could feel the way that I feel for you, the world would be a much better place.

I don't know what else to tell you other than how grateful I am that you have shown me what I was so ready to live without.

I will love you always,


From: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com

Subject: Love Letter #2

Date: March 10, 2005 10:02 PM PDT

To: bella . wa(at)me. com

My Love,

I promise that you will never have the life you thought you'd have. I promise to love you more with each passing day and to always remind you of that fact. We are NOT Renée and Charlie. You are not your mother. Her mistakes are not, and will not be, yours.

I'm still haunted by your words to Jessica yesterday. I feel as though I need to remind you daily that you do not see yourself the way I see you. If I can promise you anything, anything at all, it is that I care more for you than you ever could for me. My love for you, Bella, has no human equivalent. Please understand that you are the most important thing in the world to me now. You are so perceptive, Bella. I hate that you sense my apprehension, and that, as you put it, I always seem to be saying goodbye. I would never leave you unless it was for your own protection. Even then, I wouldn't truly leave you. I'd love you for the rest of my days. It has occurred to me, though, that my involvement in your life might be dangerous for you. I worry more than you could know about this. As I have informed you, not all vampires are like my family. Most are horrible monsters. We are all innately bloodthirsty demons, and as much as my family has learned to suppress that instinct, it never fully leaves us. I could never live with myself if something happened to you.

Let's not focus on that, though. I'd much rather you focus on how beautiful I think you are. How much I love hearing your heart speed up when you see me. Those are the things I want you to remember tonight as you go to sleep. As you lie in bed, I want you to remember that I have waited nearly 100 years for you. You are the best thing to ever happen to me.

I love you. Go to sleep; you need your rest.


From: bella . wa(at)me. com

Subject: RE: Love Letter #2

Date: March 10, 2005 10:05 PM PDT

To: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com

Never leave me. I don't care how dangerous it is. I love you. Goodnight.

From: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com

Subject: My turn

Date: March 11, 2005 6:22 AM PDT

To: bella . wa(at)me. com


Good morning, beautiful. I hope you slept well. I'm so sorry that I can't be there this morning to pick you up for school. I hate that I have to be away from you. I don't plan on letting today be a total waste, though. Yesterday was supposed to be my day to ask questions, and I've got a whole list. I know some of these are very basic, but these are questions I've never had to ask before. I am having a surprisingly fun, human-like moment. I am realizing that there are so many things that I don't know about you. I can't decide whether I hate that I can't read your mind or if it's a gift. Anyway, here goes.

1. What is your favorite color?

2. What is in your CD player right now?

3. Do you play any instruments?

4. What is your favorite instrument to listen to?

5. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

6. What are your favorite movies and books?

7. Least-favorite movies and books?

8. Who is your favorite fictional character?

9. What book haven't you read, but really want to read?

10. Where have you traveled?

11. Where do you most want to travel to?

12. Would you prefer relaxing tropical or busy sightseeing vacations?

13. If you could be an Olympian in any sport, which would you choose?

14. What's your favorite animal?

15. Do you prefer silver or gold metals?

16. What is your favorite gemstone?

17. What kinds of flowers do you prefer?

I think that's enough to start. I look forward to your answers.

Missing you more than you could imagine,


From: bella . wa(at)me. com

Subject: RE: My turn

Date: April 11, 2005 7:16 AM PDT

To: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com

Haha! I guess you're right. Yesterday was supposed to be your day. :) You sure have saved up a lot of them, haven't you! Some of these are pretty random, but I'll do my best to answer them.

1.What is your favorite color? It changes from day to day, but today? Probably brown. Brown is warm. Today, Forks is very cold. Things that should be brown, like tree trunks and even rocks, are covered up in green. I miss brown.

2.What is in your CD player right now? Linkin Park- Hybrid Theory. Phil gave it to me.

3.Do you play any instruments? Not really.

4.What is your favorite instrument to listen to? I love the piano.

5.When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? A ballerina.

6.What are your favorite movies and books? I have to admit that "Interview with the Vampire" has always been one of my favorites. Kinda ironic now, but I always thought it was Brad Pitt's sexiest role. Renée bought me the DVD for Christmas a few years back, but I don't think it made the move to Forks with me. I should buy another copy; I've got some studying to do! Besides that, my guilty pleasure movie is the 1996 "Romeo+Juliet." I love that aquarium scene, but the whole movie is just beautiful. Baz Luhrmann is such an amazing director. I love how he used the same type of style in "Moulin Rouge." There are some directors that as soon as you have watched five minutes of the movie, you know exactly who directed it, just by the style and feel. Anyway, I'm rambling. As for books, definitely "Wuthering Heights." I've read it more times than I can count. Whenever I have a bad day, I always know that I can escape to an early 19th century English farm house. I also love Jane Austen. "Pride & Prejudice," "Sense & Sensibility" and "Mansfield Park" are so great. I love me some Mr.Darcy!:)

7.Least-favorite movies and books? Renée made me go with her to see "Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights." Horrible. As for least favorite book, it's hard to say. I really hated reading "Lord of the Flies," though. Stupid book. Just shows how gross most adolescent boys are.

8.Who is your favorite fictional character? Catherine Earnshaw. I love how she suffers this horrible identity crisis, unable to choose between nature and culture. I know it's stupid, but for some reason I feel as though she and I are kindred spirits.

9.What book haven't you read, but really want to read? I've always wanted to read "On the Road." I haven't read much Beatnik literature, but that book defined an American generation. I'll get around to it someday, but Jack Kerouac doesn't seem like my kind of guy. I like to stick to the romantics.

10.Where have you traveled? Renée and I have taken road trips all over the U.S. We have this tradition to buy one of those touristy t-shirts at every road-side attraction we stop at. My favorite is the three-headed lobster t-shirt Renée bought for me in Maine.

11.Where do you most want to travel to? Rome, Italy. Or really anywhere in Italy. The history of that country is so amazing. I really got in to learning about the Roman Empire when I wrote a term paper on it last year at my old high school in Phoenix.

12.Would you prefer relaxing tropical or busy sightseeing vacations? Contradictory to my last answer, probably a relaxing tropical vacation. Sounds wonderful. I've never been anywhere actually tropical, but I love the beach. I just want to lie on the sand under an umbrella (I burn too easily to try to tan) and read. I'll only go in the water if it's warm. Renée and I went to the beach a few times when we lived in California, and that water was freezing.

13.If you could be an Olympian in any sport, which would you choose? This is such a weird question! I love watching gymnastics, though.

14.What's your favorite animal? Lion. Makes me think of you. :)

15.Do you prefer silver or gold metals? Silver. Gold looks funny on my pale skin.

16.What is your favorite gemstone? You have no idea how fitting this question is. It has recently changed. It used to be garnet, but now it's topazthe color of your eyes. Ask me again in two weeks and I'll probably say onyx.

17.What kinds of flowers do you prefer? I know it's generic, but there's something about roses that Ireally like. Red or white. I like both.

So, do you feel more informed? I gotta get to school. I'll check my email as soon as I get home.

I miss you too.


From: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com

Subject: My turn

Date: March 11, 2005 9:51 AM PDT

To: bella . wa(at)me. com

I love this. I know they're generic questions, but I think you can learn a lot about someone by their answers.

I agree—brown is warm. Brown reminds me of your endlessly beautiful, chocolate brown eyes. I miss looking into your eyes. It's barely been twenty four hours, and already I painfully long to see you.

I have more questions for you. They're a little bit more in-depth than the last round. Some were brought up by your answers to my last set of questions, and others… well, call me curious. I want to know more about your pre-Forks life.

1. What do you miss about Phoenix, besides the color brown? Don't give me a one-word answer such as: heat. I want details, Miss Swan.

2. Tell me more about Renée.

3. What kinds of things did the two of you enjoy doing together?

4. Are you close with any of your grandparents?

5. Do you have a particularly memorable birthday?

6. Have you ever had a pet?

7. What was school like for you there?

8. Is there anyone back in Phoenix that you dated?

9. How many "boyfriends" have you had?

You don't have to answer those last two if you feel that they are too imposing. I'm just intrigued.

I hope school wasn't too painful today. I had planned to leave after lunch today to hunt with Alice anyway. Hopefully I can come back to you soon. I knew being away from you would be very trying, but I honestly had no idea that I was going to go this crazy without you.

Forever Yours,


P.S. I hate to burst your bubble, but "Interview with the Vampire" has quite a few inaccuracies. We don't sleep in coffins—or anything at all. We just don't sleep. Also, if we cut our hair, it won't grow back. I actually have a lot of issues with that movie, but most take too long to explain in an email.

P.P.S. I love you.

From: bella . wa(at)me. com

Subject: RE: My turn

Date: April 11, 2005 3:02 PM PDT

To: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com


I drove home so quickly so that I could read your next email! I swear they are the only things keeping me sane during our time apart. Wow, more questions? These ones, you're right, are definitely more in-depth. Just to let you know, though, there is no question that you can't ask me. I want you to know everything, just as I want to know everything about you. Question about that, actually: you don't sleep? Ever? Do you not get tired? What do you do with all that extra time?

1.What do you miss about Phoenix, besides the color brown? Don't give me a one-word answer such as: heat. I want details, Miss Swan. It's hard to pinpoint actual things that I miss. It's just the place in general. It's home, or at least was. Now I think I'll consider home to be wherever you are. I guess I can try to describe what it's like in Phoenix. In mid-spring, the Creosote bushes start to bloom. They're everywhere. They have these tiny little yellow flowers, but that's not what people notice about them. It's their scent. It smells oddly bitter, and slightly resinous, but still pleasant. By the beginning of May, the scent completely occupies the air. In July, we get a completely different sensory experience. The high, keening sounds of the cicadas become white noise. From the minute you step outside, you can't get away from it. Visitors are driven nuts by it, but the locals learn to tune it out. The landscape in Phoenix could not be more different from Forks. The trees are much more sparse, and the sky is always blue. I actually can't remember the last time I saw a blue sky in Forks. The desert mountains are covered in a purple volcanic rock, exposing the actual shape of the mountain, whereas here, the mountains are completely covered by the forest. It is so hard to explain why it's such a beautiful place to me. I just love the way the craggy hills reflect the sun in the desert. It's absolutely breath-taking.

2.Tell me more about Renée. Renée is a child at heart. She flies by the seat of her pants, never making plans more than a few days in advance. She is probably the most free-spirited person you'd ever meet. She does what she wants, when she wants, which can make her a bit selfish at times. She's a terrible cook. As soon as I was old enough to use the stove and the sharp knives, I took over the cooking for us. She used to roast marshmallows on the gas stove and make me a s'mores when I had a bad day at school. She's a terrible procrastinator, but she'll start 10 projects at once and never finish any of them. She was supposed to make my ballet recital costume when I was in 4th grade; she never finished, so she bought me a costume. She never told me, and I think she's stilll under the impression that I believe she made it.

3.What kinds of things did the two of you enjoy doing together? We really loved taking road trips. Every time I had a break from school, we'd go somewhere, even if it was just for a three day weekend. We took countless art courses together during the summer months.

4.Are you close with any of your grandparents? My Grandma Marie is the only grandparent I've ever really known. She's my mom's mom. We weren't that close, and she and my mom never really got along, but she died a few years ago. We stayed with her for a brief time after we left Charlie. Renée couldn't stand her though, so that's why we moved to Riverside as soon as she finished her educational degree.

5.Do you have a particularly memorable birthday? I'm not big on birthdays. In general, I don't like a big fuss made about me. All the attention overwhelms me and makes me uncomfortable. Plus, my family has never had much money, so I never liked the idea of money spent on me for my birthdays. For my tenth birthday in fifth grade, my mom invited my whole class to our house for a party. The whole thing turned out to be a disaster. She planned all these games that no one wanted to play, and I'm pretty sure everyone just wanted to eat their slice of cake and leave. I've never been much of a social butterfly. I don't mix well with parties like that.

6.Have you ever had a pet? I've killed three fish. I'm pretty sure PETA has me on some sort of watch list.

7.What was school like for you there? I had a few friends, but none that I really care to keep in contact with. My two closest friends were Laura and Hilary. They had been best friends since pre-school, and they just sort of adopted me when I moved to Phoenix. They were nice enough, but I always felt a little bit on the outside with them. It was like the two of them were friends, and oh yeah, I was their friend too. I had an English teacher I really liked, though. Mrs. Johnson is the one responsible for getting me into Emily Brontë.

8.Is there anyone back in Phoenix that you dated? Simple answer: No.

9. How many "boyfriends" have you had? 0. I guess good things come to those who wait, right?

Okay, there can't possibly be anything else you want to know. I'm pretty sure you have my whole life story now. I love that you wanted to know all this stuff. No one has ever really taken an interest in my thoughts and feelings like you have. You have no idea how special that makes me feel. I can't believe how lucky I am to have you in my life. No one should ever be this lucky. No one deserves this kind of luck. Well, except for you. I can't help but feel that you got the short end of the stick on this deal. I know you don't think so, but I can't help but feel that way.

I have a ton of homework to get done tonight; I should get started. Talk to you tomorrow?

Love Always,


From: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com

Subject: Love Letter #3

Date: March 11, 2005 5:16 PM PDT

To: bella . wa(at)me. com


No, we never sleep. We don't need to. Most mated vampires use that "extra time," as you call it, to...mate, so to speak. I obviously don't, so at night I have a lot of time for myself. I usually use the nights to study. That's probably why, besides Carlisle, I speak the most languages and hold the most degrees of anyone in the family. Lately I've been composing a lot. I guess I should tell you about that. You said that your favorite instrument to listen to is the piano. Without sounding too arrogant, I play most instruments, but piano is my specialty. I have been playing and composing since I was a human. In my first years as a vampire, I began to take my playing seriously. It was a good way for me to focus my newborn energy in to something positive. I played roughly sixteen hours a day, and since then I have composed over a thousand piano pieces. I look forward to playing for you some time. Esme has really encouraged me to play more since January, when I met you. Music is the easiest way for me to express myself. As you know, I had a difficult time when I first came into contact with you. The piano has always been where I had sought solace, but in the past few months, it has become a vital outlet for me. When I compose, I am able to express my pain, my angst, and now that I have you, my joy. One piece in particular, I think you will really enjoy. It's actually named after you.

I am so grateful that you answered all my questions. The more I learn about you, the more I love you. The way you wrote about the landscape of Phoenix. I learned that we have a true shared passion for nature, and for the way the light can play off different surfaces on a mountain. I find your love of Emily Brontë absolutely breathtaking. I have grown so tired of this generation's fascination with celebrity tabloids and magazines like Cosmopolitan that encourage women to be promiscuous and dress like cheap hookers. It's as though you were actually made for me. We have such similar interests in most everything. I still can't wrap my head around the idea that you love Debussy as much as I do.

You are everything I told myself I should stop dreaming for. Bella, I know I sound like a broken record, but I gave up hope that you existed. I scoured the whole Earth looking for a mate and always came up empty handed. Most people think I'm overly picky, but I just couldn't settle for anything less than...well...you. I am in constant awe of how perfect you are and how my love grows for you by the second. Just when I think I couldn't possibly have any more room to love, somehow you prove me wrong, and I love you even more.

My soul can rest. I have finally found you. My Bella. I love you. The love we now share is the greatest gift I have ever been given. So much so that I have lost my words, so I shall quote the great Ludwig van Beethoven:

"What tearful longings for you—you—you—my life—my all—farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.

Ever thine

Ever mine

Ever ours."

I don't want to distract you tonight. Finish your homework. I'll email you in the morning.

Sweet dreams, my Bella.


From: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com

Subject: Seattle

Date: March 12, 2005 9:15 AM PDT

To: bella . wa(at)me. com


I hate that our plans for today have been canceled. I was looking forward to spending the whole day, uninterrupted, with you. Now that your day is free, maybe you should go to the dance with Tyler. (That was a joke. Don't you dare.)

Are you still going to go to Seattle? I'm not sure if you'd be up for it, but Alice said that she would accompany you to Seattle for the day. She's been pretty persistent with me about you. She thinks the two of you are going to become best friends. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I don't want her being a bad influence on you. Just my luck you'll come home from a day with my sister with a new haircut, a full face of makeup, and a $5000 dress. I love you just the way you are. Please don't ever change. You're perfect. Alice is pretty great, though. If you can stand the constant chatter and the shopping, you should call her. She really wants to spend time with you. She promised me that she wouldn't corrupt you, but you can't trust vampires. Trust me. :)

I had a great day planned for us. I was going to take you to this beautiful meadow that I think you will really like. It's just above the cloud line, so there is almost always sun pouring onto the forest floor in that spot. The ground is covered in lush grass and wildflowers. I promise as soon as possible that I will take you there.

Spend the day with Alice. She just texted me that she's just going to just show up at your door and kidnap you for the day. If you really don't want to, I'd call her immediately. I'm pretty sure she's planning to leave any minute now.

Have fun, whatever you decide to do.



From: bella . wa(at)me. com

Subject: RE: My turn

Date: April 12, 2005 9:20 PM PDT

To: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com

Alice just got here. We're going to Seattle for the day. I think she mentioned something about a spa inside Nordstrom? I'm not sure exactly, but I'll roll with it. She's really sweet. She's currently going through my closet to see if I have anything "acceptable" to wear. I probably don't. I like her, though. You can't help but smile around her.

Praying I come back in once piece,


P.S. That meadow sounds amazing. I can't wait. I love you.

P.P.S. Alice told me to tell you that she might have to break her promise. She said that I need new clothes, but that she'll try to keep your taste in mind…Here's to hoping…

From: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com

Subject: Sunday

Date: March 12, 2005 9:15 AM PDT

To: bella . wa(at)me. com


Good news! I spoke to Alice this morning, and she said that she saw all of us together tomorrow playing baseball. She said that by then, you'll be close to "done," and I'll be able to contain myself around you. There's a storm coming on Sunday—I want you to see what the family does for fun. Would you please let me take you to formally meet my family, and then play baseball with us? I know it sounds weird, but it's always so much fun.

Did you have fun yesterday? She told me that she was "good." She said she bought you lots of new clothes. Mostly just "jeans and t-shirts that flatter her figure better" in her words. Is she telling the truth? Did she torture you with store after store? I sincerely hope she didn't scar you for life.

I'm really looking forward to introducing you to Carlisle and Esme. I know you've technically already met Carlisle, but he's a much different person at home than he is at the hospital. You'll love Esme. She's the kindest person I know. She'll love you.

Bella, you are my life now. I feel uncharacteristically like a giddy teenager. I really can't wait to bring you to the house to show you more of my family and myself. I have so much to share with you.


From: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com

Subject: Love Letter #4

Date: April 10, 2005 1:06 PM PDT

To: bella . wa(at)me. com


I hate that I'm not strong enough to stay. I hoped that maybe I'd be able to handle not leaving this time, since I was able to control myself when I had to suck James's venom out of you. I conferred with Alice, and she saw that my staying would not end well. I promise to get stronger for you.

Love, I've realized that I can't exist in a world where you don't. I was so scared. I didn't know if I was going to get to the dance studio in time, and I was afraid of what I would find when I got there. I came so close to losing you. I don't think I would know how to function if something ever happened to you. On my way to the studio, I started brainstorming ways to end my existence if I didn't get to you in time. Maybe you shouldn't know that, but I just need you to comprehend the level of my commitment to you, Bella. Even if I wanted to, I don't have the strength to stay away from you. I need you just as much as you say that you need me. Now that I know what love feels like, I can't imagine ever letting it go…even if that does make me selfish.

I was just thinking this morning about our trip to the meadow last week. Bella, I can't tell you how relieved I was to have you there with me. I was so afraid that I would never be able to lie next to you on the grass again. I'm not sure I've ever told you how special those times are for me. I feel so free being able to lie in the sun next to you. It's as if time stops, and the only thing that matters is us. Our hands entwined, the breeze rustling our hair, and the sun dancing on our skin. There is no more perfect setting in the world than our meadow. It's the one place that I can relax and stop worrying. I can't hear any thoughts, and I can't be interrupted from studying your face. There have been very few times since my change when I have been able to revel in silence. I get so frustrated at times that I can't hear your thoughts, but I consider it a gift. It forces me to pay attention and ask more questions.

So, on that note…Will you go to prom with me? Don't say no.



From: bella . wa(at)me. com

Subject: RE: Love Letter #4

Date: April 10, 2005 3:34 PM PDT

To: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com

Oh, you've got to be joking. I don't even dance when I have two normal feet. You expect me to go to the prom with you with a cast on my leg? Good luck. I love you, but no thank you.

I'm glad you've finally realized that we need to be together. Everything good has an element of danger. Driving a car, cooking dinner, or in my case—walking. Then you've got earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes, the list goes on. Edward, everything is dangerous. Just because you're dangerous, that doesn't mean we shouldn't be together. Being apart would be even more dangerous. Like it or not, you're stuck with me. :)

I got a call today from Alice. She says you're still freezing her out. Edward, I needed to know. You weren't telling me anything, and somebody had to. Big deal, now I'm up to date on "Vampire Transformations 101." Are you more upset that she told me the logistics, or that she saw me like you one day? It's going to happen; I trust Alice. I'm too fragile as a human. At some point, you'll have to come to the realization that I will keep aging, and you will not. That I am going to die, and you will not. Haven't we already come to the conclusion that we can't be without each other? Stop being so mad at Alice for filling me in on some pretty important information. If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me. I asked! She's your sister. You can't stay mad at her forever. She says it's going to happen no matter what. She told me that it makes no difference what keeps happening to us, that vision doesn't change. I know you say that her visions are subjective, and I'm sure in some cases that they are. I'm still betting on Alice, though.

You're crazy, but I love you.

From: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com

Subject: Love Letter #5

Date: April 10, 2005 5:25 PM PDT

To: bella . wa(at)me. com


You are the most wonderfully stubborn person I know. At times, it can be so frustrating, but I also find it terribly endearing. I too can be stubborn. Watch me. Alice doesn't deserve my forgiveness yet. She is still too smug about it. When she finally realizes that it wasn't her place to tell you, and you aren't better off for knowing, I'll forgive her. At some point, I would have told you, Bella. Obviously, though, you're not ready for the information. Hence your irrational longing to be like us. You don't know better. You shouldn't be like us. You're perfect just the way you are, and I look forward to seeing you age. The aging process is a beautiful thing, and it saddens me to think that you would cut that short just for some extra strength and agility.

Maybe you need a reference guide to all the human things that I love about you. Things that would disappear if you became like me.

I love how your heart speeds up when I kiss you.

I love how your cheeks flush every time I make you nervous.

I love how you chew on your bottom lip when you're deep in thought.

I love that you take care of Charlie and enjoy cooking all his meals.

I love the color of your pale peach skin.

I love your perfect chocolate brown eyes.

I love how you talk when you dream.

I love how you hold on to me when you sleep.

I love watching tears stream down your face as you read Wuthering Heights.

I love the feel of your warm, soft skin.

Love, I could keep this list going for miles, but I think you get the point. I love Human Bella. Just the way you are. I don't want you to change. You're perfect.

I love you,


From: bella . wa(at)me. com

Subject: RE: Love Letter #5

Date: April 10, 2005 7:10 PM PDT

To: EAMCullen(at)gmail. com

I'm sure you'd be able to find just a couple things to love about me if I became like your family. Would my novelty wear off for you if I joined you for eternity? Do you actually like the fact that I'm human and not like you? That really worries me.

Give Alice a break. She's right, and you know it. Sorry to cut this email so short, but I have a ton of homework to do. Come back soon, okay? I really miss you.



PS… If I was a vampire, we wouldn't have these monthly problems to worry about… Just saying.


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Thank you to the amazing betas at PROJECT TEAM BETA:

Babykay16 & JointGifts- Thank you so much for your hard work beta'ing my little one-shot!

Special Thank You to Jennrosee for all your support! You rock, lady! :)