It was pretty obvious to me that Otoya and Nanami were dating, how the others had not figured out yet was a mystery to me. I was a really observant person after all, preferring to observe people than finding out how they at by interacting with them. I had picked up signs from them to confirm my suspicion.
At the beginning, I was just skeptic about it when they first appeared out of sort with each other. It was a rather small detail and the others did not seem to notice it. Nanami-san was blushing when Otoya accidentally grasped onto her hand when he took his papers from her and she blushed even more when he flashed her smile.
I continued observing them for a few more days before I was certain that they were dating. They disappear for a period of time together, normally with Otoya leaving first and her following along a while later. Nanami-san would return first and around a hour later, Otoya comes back too.
Too much of a coincidence is it not? The idea must be Nanami-san's since I hardly doubt that Otoya would be able to think of something like that. Otoya seemed much more cheerful too and believe it or not, he got even more hyper. Nanami-san would be in a daze when she look at him and when he turns around to her, she would flush bright red and look away.
Strangely, the other four had not noticed it at all. It ended up pretty comical when Hijirikawa thought that Nanami-san was running a fever with her face so red, causing everyone and especially the really dense Otoya to crowd around her and get her to rest.
I was jealous of Otoya, why does he get Nanami-san to himself? Every one of us like her as much as he does but yet the one that managed to win her heart was him. Was she not a fan of Hayato and said that she liked my songs? Why did she pick him over me?
Nothing I did seem to get rid of the jealousy I felt and I needed her more than he does. Otoya seem much too dense, innocent and oblivious to things and does she think that he really can protect her well? It is already a miracle that he even manages to take care of himself well in the first place.
I would shake my head at most of his actions and Otoya is really clueless when it comes to most things. Not only is he dense, he does not even have the think before he acts. Whenever he begs me for help, he acts up being asleep half the time when I do explain it to him. He's really clingy too and you will find it hard to shake him off when he clings to you. His puppy eyes are a very effective way to do what you want and you can never withstand them for long.
Nanami-san was important to me because she was the one that gave me hope, that had made me like her a lot. My feelings for her were just the same as how I feel towards her song. Just like I loved her songs, I love her as well. It was hard for me to see them act so much like a couple, it was apparent that they loved each other from the looks they give each other.
Somewhere in my mind, I hated Otoya for stealing her away from me and I wished that I could find a way to get her away from him. My brain was plotting ways to break them up while a part of me found that I was cruel to do to Otoya when he has always been nice to me. No matter how cold I was to him, he still smiles at me too.
Groaning, I made up my mind that I was going to try to get them apart. I wanted Nanami-san to look at me instead of him, and maybe she would like me instead. I was sorry to Otoya but I really did not want to let him have her. I started hanging around with her more, seeking her help to compose something for me to sing.
She was pleased to do that and worked really hard at it and like I thought, she really did spend most of her time working on it and not with Otoya. Otoya did not seem to mind that much that she was spending time working on a song for someone else.
That really makes me wonder exactly what does he feel. How can he not mind that his girlfriend is giving it her all for another guy and not feel anything? Like always, I cannot get him at all. What exactly goes in that head of his in the first place?
Well, that was none of my concern. Once she was done with it, we practiced it a lot. It caused us to spend a lot of time together to finish it. Otoya stopped by from time to time to listen to us and he would clap him hands and compliment us when we were done. Nanami-san would apologise to him and he would say it's nothing before he leaves us alone.
It still does not affect him? That is just plain weird. He is still like his usual self and the smiles he sends to me did not falter at all. Does it even mean anything to him that he is unable to spend time with his girlfriend because another guy is hogging her? That is not my problem anyway and since he does not mind, I shall make the best of it.
Sadly, that only lasted a week. And they immediately went back together after that, trying to make up for the lost time that they spent apart. But that was only for a day because the next day, Syo and Natsuki asked her to come up with a song for the both of them, making her once again dedicate her time to someone other than Otoya.
With Nanami-san busy with the other two, I had a lot of free time that I ended up spending with Otoya. He was bored and often came to bug me when I tried to come up with lyrics or practice. I gave up when he showed no signs of ever quitting and his puppy eyes were really hard to resist.
He was jumping up and down like an excited dog and I could imagine him with dog ears and a wagging tail. What did I just make myself get into? Otoya dragged me around many places, making me wonder if he was just using me to scout for places he could bring Nanami-san around for dates. Looking at his innocent face, I scratched that idea off and simply tried to enjoy myself.
As usual, Otoya disrespects my need for personal space and clings to me. Why is he that physical anyway? From experience, I know that it is pointless to ask him to let go when he would just ignore it. It does not stop me from shifting away from him when I get the chance though.
How can he look so carefree when we have people staring at us? At least there is not any fangirls that recognized us yet thanks to the disguise I forced him to put on. He somehow made what I got him to wear to look cute and he could even get away with that look too. Otoya better be careful before Natsuki decides that he finds him cute too and start forcing him into clothes like what he does to Syo.
I was tired by the time we got back, Otoya had dragged me over to lots of places. I really wonder how he has that much energy. He was grinning like an idiot and begged me to actually accept his invitation to hang around more often. I ignored him and closed my eyes, drifting off to a short nap.
To make up to the remaining two, Nanami-san ended up deciding to create music for them as well once she was done with the one she is currently working on. That caused Otoya to bug me even more and the amount of time he is around me is really a lot.
His company was not that bad if you get used to him and he does not mind that I do not talk to him much. Singing with him is enjoyable and you would catch on his positive attitude and match his singing tone. What started this chain of events really was something stupid and I still wonder what made me decide to go with that idea.
Otoya was clumsy, especially when it comes to new dancing moves. I was often the poor victim that has to help him with his dance moves just because I was his roommate and the most likely person that he would listen to. It was hard teaching him, with him looking in awe whenever he sees me show him a move that he is unable to do and he would yell that I was really good.
I really should have known better than to listen to him and let him try out a complicated move without much coaching. That resulted in him falling onto me and hurting my arm. But that was not the key thing; his fall had caused his lips to crash into mine rather harshly. The force of his fall had made it rather painful and he took a few seconds before he got over the shock and pulled back, moving far away from me.
He had let out a surprised cry as he moved, his face blushing bright red. I bit my cheek to prevent myself from blushing before speaking up. "Why are you the one's that so embarrassed when you were the one that kissed me and I was the one that lost my first kiss, not you. I'm sure you already kissed Nanami-san already."
Otoya's face grew even redder and he shook his head. "Eh? You know about me and Nanami? I thought we did a good job in hiding it…guess I could not hide it from you, Tokiya. But you were wrong…..that was my first kiss too…..I had never kissed Nanami…."
His words sunk in my head slowly, he really had not kissed her yet? But he had been dating her for a while already, how could he not have yet? "You haven't? Otoya, I find that hard to believe."
Otoya shook his head with an embarrassed look on his face as his blush grew redder. "I'm not fooling you Tokiya, that really was my first kiss. I just…found it hard to when Nanami looks so nervous and I fear that I might look like a fool when I'm not sure if I can do it without messing up…."
A sudden idea popped into my head. I was curious to know if he would agree to what I suggest and how far he would go with it. I was tempted to see how hard he would try and if he really was that dense to accept it but I would lose my personal space, not that Otoya gives me that much, but it would be a lot more than the lost of my personal space.
Deciding quickly, I decided to suggest it to him. How the idea came in my head and why I decided to go along with it would forever be something that I do not get. The price I was paying just to see how clueless and dense Otoya is at his relationship skills is a little too much. I would have to help him with all the things that he needed help with and that would almost be everything when he does not even think he could kiss without messing up. Why was I that interested to see how much help he needs in the first place?
The only way to help him with his kissing would be practice and that was something that cannot be taught with practical. I had to help him physically do I not? That crosses so many of my lines but I already crossed that line when he kissed me accidentally earlier on, crossing it again should be fine.
The most that I was willing to help him with would be his kissing which I really think it's weird that I am willing to help him at all with my personal space being invaded. I thought I was trying to find a way to get him to break up with Nanami-san but does this not help him instead and I have to deal with him coming in my personal space and kissing him.
He is a male for crying out loud, why do I not even felt disgusted when he kissed me and only reacted to why he was blushing and how weird his reaction was? I disliked him, with him coming into my personal space all the time, being so loud and clueless but yet I felt nothing when he kissed me earlier.
I shook the thought away and buried it in another part of my mind for the moment. Besides, I was not going to go far, probably just go for a few days to see how desperate he can be. Staring at him, I opened up my mouth to voice out my suggestion to him. "If you really want it, I can help you with it. But the only way would be physical so it's up to you whether you want to or not."
I added the last point hoping that he would not agree with it and I would be able to get rid of the idea in my head and pretend that it never happened. But unfortunately for me, Otoya did just the opposite. An eager look appeared on his face as he tackled me in a tight hug and I felt the urge to push him away to get back my personal space. "REALLY? You're willing to help me? Thanks a lot, !"
I let him keep his arms around me, finding it rather stupid that I am already making myself to kiss him just to test out something and that's worse than a hug. But did he even understand what I said in the first place? What am I trying to do, if I really do not want to do this why am I suggesting it to him in the first place?
"Otoya. Do you really get what I mean? To do that, I would have to kiss you. There's no other way to help you but with practice."
Seriously, why am I that curious to know how he would react anyway? Otoya released me and the blush that had faded away had reappeared and he appeared to be shocked. He really did not get me, it seemed or had he not listened to what I said again.
"Ehhhhh? I thought it was weird how it could be taught but I didn't think that you would offer such a thing. But if it's you…..I suppose it's fine. I did kiss you by accident already, it should be alright if I kiss you a couple more times…"
I rolled my eyes and waited for him to come over. There was no way that I would approach him. True, I was suppose to help him by guiding him but he should at least be the one to walk over instead of me. He was blushing again as he stepped closer to me and I tilted his chin up to make it easier for me to kiss him.
It was a really light one since I figured that I should teach him the one that would not frighten Nanami-san off. I had not noticed it earlier with the pain in my arm, that his lips were really soft. I found that hard to believe when he does not take care of his lips at all, he barely cares about grooming and such in the first place.
I pulled back and explained to him that he should just start with a sweet and light one as his first with Nanami-san and he nodded his head, the pink tint in his cheeks not leaving at all. I signaled him to give it a try and he seemed really nervous as he closed his eyes once his lips descended on mine meekly.
Really, what am I doing? This is taking way too much of my personal space, I can even smell his scent when I breathe. But he did seem cute with his shy face and I nearly chuckle into the kiss before I kissed him back and increased the pressure bit by bit. He was surprised and his eyes opened and stared while he remained not moving. Otoya only pressed back harder after I increased the pressure on his lips again.
He pulled back and gave me a questioning look. I sighed and explained to him that he could kiss harder once him and Nanami-san are used to it. It makes me wonder how dense is he exactly. No wonder I wanted to do this, I wanted to see how clueless he was and the results are like what I thought.
All that's left now is the last one and that would probably take a while before he is able to perfect it unless he is somehow natural at it. I tapped him on the shoulder and initiated it instead of waiting for him to come over.
I heard a surprised whimper coming from his mouth as I gave his lip a lick. The only response I got was him closing his eyes and kissing back. I frowned when he closed his eyes, was he pretending that I was Nanami-san? Even if I am helping him, I would rather he not treat me as someone else and he was still keeping his mouth clamped shut. I nibbled at his bottom lip for a second, seeing if he would get the hint to open his mouth.
When he did not open his mouth, I pulled back quickly and he opened his eyes with a confused look in them. I muttered that he should look at me and that he should open his mouth when I lick them, otherwise I would not be able to move on to the French kiss. Being a perfectionist, I was going to finish what I started and that would mean that I would not stop till his kissing is up to my standard, even if it takes a long time.
He nodded his head, his cheeks reddening yet again as he whispered softly to himself words that I was not able to catch. I gave him a final instruction of following my lead before I attached my lips to his again. Kissing him was not as bad as I first thought, he might be really clumsy but the feeling of his lips was rather nice, especially when his lips were so soft.
I started off with a light one that ended up with him making it a deeper one before I even did anything. I smirked and returned his gaze as I licked his bottom lip slowly. This time, he did open up his lips and I wondered what he would taste like.
There was only one way to find out, I plunged my tongue into his mouth. His cheeks grew redder and he had started to gaze elsewhere when I started exploring his mouth. Surprisingly, his taste was rather pleasant and it was much nicer than I thought. I had assumed that it might be sweet and it was, but the sweetness is not too strong, making it just right for me. There was a hint of something else too, but I just cannot put my finger on what it is.
I can always figure that out next time, for now, I have to concentrate on my current task. I licked his teeth, brushing my tongue against his before sucking on it and coaxing him to respond. If I was going to help him, I will make it seem like a real one. I released his tongue and waited to see if he was going to do anything.
Otoya looked up at me with a cute embarrassed expression as he meekly rubbed his tongue against mine. I wanted him to bring it into my mouth but I suppose that was much too fast for him. I made a mental note to myself to go slower, he would be able to pick up on it easier if I do not confuse him and do it one by one.
Perhaps I should just go one step at a time each day and let him practice with a recap after each day. He was really clumsy and I could not help but laugh at his small attempts to kiss me back. Otoya sent me a glare and pulled back, a pout on his lips. That only made the glare ineffective and giving it a cute look instead.
I bit back a chuckle and ruffled his hair before patting it. Like a puppy that I often picture him as, he leaned against it and a content sigh escaped his lips. Patting him one last time, I withdrew my hand and concluded that we should stop now and continue tomorrow.
Otoya nodded his head and we prepared to head for bed, with it being late already. Sleep did not come easily with Otoya talking non-stop and he only stopped when he fell asleep. I shook my head when I turned to the side of his bed to see him forgetting to cover himself with his blankets yet again.
I got off my bed and spreaded the blanket over him gently and gave him a small pat on the head, earning me a small sigh from him as he moved closer to me. I removed my hand away from him and returned to my own bed, closing my eyes and waiting for sleep to come.
The next day, we spent the day like usual with him crowding around me while I tried to compose something. We behaved as of usual, which caused no one to notice anything different about us. Otoya was less physical though, he had blushed whenever he looked up at my face and whatever physical involvement would be removed quickly.
I find that a great relief as I was not keen in all the hugs and other things he usually throws to me. If I had known that my suggestion could reduce his physical interaction, I would have suggested it a long time ago.
Kissing him was not as bad as having him cling to me, since it was something that I did willingly even though it was still removing my personal space from me. At least he tastes alright and the reactions and expressions from him are amusing to see. I had no idea that he would ever be embarrassed with him being so open all the time. I got to see another side of him through this and that really interests me.
But I only did it for one night only, and the first time you try something out, it often interests you. I was not sure if that thought was going to remain or change in the future. Shrugging, I started composing this new song that was in my head. I could get Nanami-san to write the music to go with it later or think of something myself.
After a whole day of having a rather flustered Otoya when we were alone, I sighed and simply dragged him with me back to our room. He was shocked and immediately asked what I was doing. It was not easy to ignore him while he kept talking but I was used to it.
I sat down on the chair and motioned for him to bring his over and sit down. He seemed wary as he slowly did as he was told and his gaze was never on me. Tilting his head to face me, his face flushed as he stuttered out what I wanted.
Funny how he seemed much more normal yesterday when we first started it. Reminding him that he was the one that wanted my help and yet here he was avoiding me all of a sudden. His face flushed darker and he returned my gaze with a shy one as he explained that he was really embarrassed that he had asked such a thing and looking at me was a little hard when he recalled what he was making me do.
I gave another sigh and added in that he could always just stop the practice. Otoya looked conflicted for a while before he shook his head and muttered softly that he was just uncomfortable that he was making me do this for him. Why was he only bothered now when I have been uncomfortable with him invading my personal space for so long?
That thing that bugs me the most is how he could still look so innocent and maintain an innocent mind set even now? His views were mostly on me and not on himself? Does he not feel that he is cheating on Nanami-san through this? It was true that I wanted to break them up, but Nanami-san would hate me if they split because of this and that would be pointless.
I assured him that there I was fine with continuing it and his face was a really cute shy and serious one as he confirmed with me that it really was not bothering me. A smile plastered his face as he nodded his head and his entire mood since much better except for the faint tint that was on his face. Otoya seemed really oblivious that he had been blushing at all and he was really confused when I asked him about it.
How on earth could he not notice when he had been blushing nearly all the time when the both of us were alone? I knew Otoya was clueless, but how oblivious could a person be? I knew he was way too clueless when he really did accept my suggestion but to not know that you are blushing is just too much.
A blushing Otoya is indeed cute to look out, almost as cute as Nanami-san but now I feel like facepalming whenever I think that he has no clue he is doing that. Perhaps he was blushing subconsciously without his knowledge but that would mean that he is unaware of what his brain is actually thinking. Somehow, I find that very believable knowing Otoya.
I attempted to get rid of my thoughts by asking him if he wanted to start now. His face grew darker another shade and I wondered if he was going to do that whenever we did this. He gave a small nod and feeling that I had made him embarrassed enough for a day, I initiated it instead of asking him to.
I started with a really soft and light one that changed into a deeper one once he opened up his mouth. His taste was still the same and I still had not figure out what his taste was like exactly. It was familiar but I just could not put my finger on what it was exactly.
I licked around quickly, brushing his gums and his teeth before moving to his tongue. I wondered if this was a little too soon but the sooner he starts on practicing, the sooner he would improve. I wrapped my tongue around his and brought his tongue into my mouth before releasing it and pushing it gently to move around.
He looked at me uncertainly before he meekly moved around, rubbing his tongue around slowly being really unsure of what to do. I was just going to let him explore around on his own today and see what he would do without me guiding from this point on. Tomorrow, I would probably start the other step in showing how to fight for dominance, but for now, I would be leaving him in charge.
Otoya was being really gentle and he would always look over to me to see if he was doing anything wrong. My expression seemed to be giving him hints on whether what he was doing was right or not as he always seem more confident after he looks at me. Noticing that, I closed my eyes and wondered if that would stop his progress.
That seemed to work and his movements had slowed down more and he was just licking around this time before he pulled back. I opened my eyes to see him pouting at me as he complained that I did that on purpose. A smirk appeared on my lips as I licked his lips briefly before stating that it was self-practice, I was not suppose to help him in anyways.
If I helped him with everything, how would he improve or not what he has done wrong? That cute pout remained on his face and seeing that he was too busy being unhappy with me doing nothing, I simply just sucked his mouth into my mine, earning a muffled yelp from him when he realized what I had done.
It took him a while before he finally opened his mouth to me. He had sent me a defiance look as he kept his mouth clamped shut till I bit it rather harshly and he opened it to cry out at the pain. At least I had made sure not to make him bleed. I was not interested in having blood covering up his taste when he obviously tasted much better than blood.
I nearly plunged my tongue into his mouth again but I remembered just in time that I was suppose to just let him act on his own. Otoya was frowning, I could tell from the way his mouth was moving but my mind was set on him to go on by himself. Much to my surprise, he was much daring this time and he actually rubbed his tongue against mine rather harshly.
I pushed my tongue against him lightly before moving it away from him. His tongue was rather ticklish as he moved around my mouth and licked. Otoya pulled away with a big gulp for air as he looked at me expectantly waiting for my views on what he did. He looked really cute with those pink cheeks and really big expectant eyes.
Patting his head with my right hand, I told him that he did a good job and he gave me a look that reminded me of a kid that had just gotten praised. He seemed really happy and I patted him a couple more times before I finished it with a ruffle to his hair before I removed my hand completely. I had to urge him to head to bed before he could not wake up again.
Otoya pouted and claimed that he does wake up on time, just that the bed was unwilling to have him leave it. I shook my head at his childishness before I prepared to change and brush my teeth. Once I was alone in the bathroom, I closed my eyes and wondered what exactly was I planning to do?
I cannot be liking this now can I? Having my personal space invaded by him and doing such intimate acts too. How far was I planning to go to teach him? I can barely know what I am doing anymore, it is like my body just acts on it's own and I am just doing things subconsciously without much thought.
When I came out, he had fallen asleep with his blankets not covered properly. How does he kick his blanket so much each night puzzles me. I covered him back in his blankets as I headed to my bed. My thoughts just drifted away as I fell into slumber, pushing all my worries to morning.
Otoya seemed slightly different when I saw him in the afternoon. It was like his expressions were forced and not as bright as his usual ones. I stopped my writing and closed my notebook. Tucking it under my arm, I approached Otoya and that had attracted Syo's attention.
It was obvious that it was impossible for us to talk in front of the others and I randomly said that Otoya had asked for my help to sing a duet with him and we were going to practice. That had caused Syo to look away after he sent me another suspicious look as I grabbed hold of Otoya's hand and tugged him back towards our room again.
He seemed puzzled as he followed behind me slowly only opening up his mouth when the door closed. Otoya did not get that it was just an excuse for me to talk to him in private and I could feel a headache building up already when he questioned when did we decide to sing a duet together .
Forcing him to sit down on the edge of my bed, I sat down on the chair as I gazed into his eyes as I asked what was bothering him. Otoya was quiet and he shook his head before whispering softly that it was not important. Tilting his head up, I moved my eyes to match his gaze to prevent him from looking elsewhere.
Seeing that he was not willing to talk about what was bothering him, I decided to bring up a question that I had been wanting to ask him in a while. "Otoya, it has been on my mind for a while already but why are you never jealous when Nanami-san is spending her time with other people instead of you? Being her boyfriend, it should be bugging you that your girlfriend is spending time with other guys instead."
If it was possible, I had made Otoya in an even more negative way. He smiled a smile that was unlike his usual one but one of pain instead. Otoya had moved closer towards me but making sure he was not touching me in any way before he spoke up. "I grew up in an orphanage where I have to share everything with everyone. Nothing was ever mine alone but something that belongs to everyone. I'm used to having to share with people so I guess that's why I don't mind that Nanami spends time with other people. It's like I'm sharing her with everyone else and that's fine anyway. I never had anything that belongs to me after all so it shouldn't matter that I never will have anything that's mine alone….."
If Otoya had not told me this, I would not believe that such a bright and warm person would be like this. He was laughing bitterly with tears in his eyes and that confirmed that he really was not as fine as he claimed to be.
I was not as cold as people think I am, I have compassion too like other people. Grabbing hold of his shoulders, I pulled him into a hug and patted his head, whispering to him gently. "That's not true now is it? My patting are something that's yours alone are they not? Have you ever seen me patting anyone before you? My ruffling are for you as well. You know that no matter how cold I act, I will always help you when you ask. And…. the thing that I have been helping you with is something that belongs to you too. If the person wasn't you, I probably wouldn't have suggested it at all. I know it isn't much, but it shows that you do have something that belongs to you."
Otoya was sniffing and I could feel his tears soaking my shirt wet as he hugged me back tightly. I was worried that my words were not enough to cheer him up and the thought of why I actually cared had not crossed my mind at all.
I heard another sniff before he looked up at me with tears still running down his cheeks as he flashed me a grateful smile. I hate to say this at this point of time, but that really was a cute look that I almost wished I could take a photo of as memory. But now was not time for such a time and I shoved the thought away from my mind but patting him with my left hand and using my right hand to get the tear drops away from his eyes.
His grip on me had tightened when I removed my right arm away from him, only relaxing when he noticed that I was just going to get the tears away. Perhaps my hand was not such a good choice but licking it seemed like a wrong choice too. "You really mean it? They're things that belong to me and I don't have to share them with anyone? Tokiya's patting, ruffling, concern as well as those teaching kisses are mine and mine alone?"
I nodded my head and placed a kiss on his forehead as I gave him one final pat before I placed my arms back around him in a hug, rubbing his back comfortingly to stop him from crying anymore. "I mean it, they're yours and no one else's. So, please don't cry any more. I like seeing your smile better, they make my day better."
Why did I admit them to him in the first place? I am already overdoing on trying to cheer him up, my actions are things that are unlike me. But I really did like his smile, his smile has always been warm and full of emotions whenever I see them and I had already grew to seeing them every day.
Otoya's smile grew warmer as the tears stopped flowing, leaving tear marks on his face as he talked. "Tokiya likes my smile? I will be sure to smile a lot more around you then! I'm sorry for breaking down and crying and thank you. You might think it isn't much, but what you said to me means a lot to me. I have always wanted something belonging to me that's given from someone, even if it was something small like a pen or a smile. I enjoy Tokiya's patting, they make me happy and I'm glad that they're mine."
He really is cute is he not? I do not think he is aware of that at all. But when has I start thinking of him as a cute and sweet person? Even though it is the truth, the fact that I care about him so much troubles me. How I actually speak my mind with him and show how I feel to him openly is unsettling.
I moved away from his embrace and kissed his cheek lightly. But that was not enough, I wanted to kiss his lips. Had I already been addicted to his taste in a matter of three days? Does that not mean that I am just using teaching him as an excuse to kiss him now?
I know that even if I do kiss him right now, Otoya would think of it as nothing more than lessons. But this one right now is nothing like that, it is actually something that I want to do from the bottom of my heart. "Otoya. The kiss that I would be giving you later is something that is yours and it would be from the bottom of my heart. It's still counted as your lessons since I still haven't taught you the last step yet. It's fighting for dominance, to see who would be in charge of the kiss. If I win, my tongue would be the one that's in your mouth instead of yours in mine. This one really would be different from the previous ones, in what sense is something you don't have to know.
Otoya was puzzled like I thought and I smiled at that. He was cute even if he was dense and oblivious. But that was precisely why I decided to be honest with him. He did not have to know that this kiss was something that I wanted for myself instead of his sake for once. I was going to put in my raw emotions for him that I still do not get what it is exactly into it for this one time. After today, all my kisses to him will be back to those teaching ones and nothing else.
I pressed my lips in his and wasted no time in getting entrance from him that he gave me. I only closed my eyes when I saw he do the same and I started moving my tongue into his mouth. I allowed myself to lose myself in his taste for a few seconds before I started licking his tongue.
He had listened to my words and actually tried to push his tongue into my mouth. I smirked, and immediately started making the kiss much deeper and harsher. Due to how clumsy he is, I managed to win over easily as I traced over each parts of his mouth slowly before urging him to start another dance. I had placed all my confused emotions and feelings into the kiss, enjoying the feel of his tongue against mine as well as his taste.
When I had opened my eyes, Otoya was still keeping his eyes closed and his cheeks were heating up again like usual. I could tell that he was running out of breath soon and I reluctantly pulled away from him. There was a thin strand of saliva connecting us which caused him to grow even darker when he realized it.
It was broken once Otoya opened up his mouth and tried to breathe in through his mouth. He was panting heavily and I knew I had overdid it from how hard he was trying to breathe in. I made a mental note to myself to be more mindful of him from now on as I did not want him to run out of air.
I waited till he had started breathing normally again after a while before I started kissing him again. Today was the only time that I was allowing myself to experiment and see what exactly am I feeling towards him. What does he taste like exactly does not concern me anymore, I just like his taste a lot.
Otoya was pouting when he realized that he had once again lost against the fight against me. There was no way I was ever going to lose to him in this, I liked his taste too much to allow him a chance to get his tongue into my mouth instead. I made sure not to lose myself too deeply this time and pulled away before he ran out of breath.
He looked really tired and I urged him to take a nap. Otoya shook his head and clung onto me insisting that he was fine and he did not want to sleep to find that he was all alone again. He said in a serious voice that he was only going to take a nap if I did too. With a sigh, I pushed him down onto my bed and asked him to scoot over. He raised an eyebrow confusedly till I told him that he wanted me to take a nap too did he not.
Otoya grinned and released me as he moved over, attaching himself to me once again when we both had lied down on the bed. He muttered a soft good night before he closed his eyes and he was out within minutes. He must be really worn out and although his grip on me was rather tight, it was still really soothing to have his warmth against mine.
Feeling his warm body has made me sleepy too. I waited to watch his peaceful face too but I was starting to feel tired too. I forced myself to stay awake a little longer to think of some lyrics for the duet that I lied to the others about but I had fallen asleep before I managed to think of more than three lines.
Awkwardly, when they both of us woke up it was already morning. How did we sleep through the evening till morning is something I cannot answer. At the very least, the both of us had a good sleep and Otoya was back to his cheery self.
After he had changed, I grabbed hold of his hand to prevent him from leaving for breakfast till I told him what I thought about. Since I had already lied to the others that we were going to sing a duet, we should think of some lyrics and make it real if he wants to.
Otoya had brightened up a lot and he was smiling really widely as he jumped up and down excitedly, agreeing to the idea immediately. We agreed to start on it once we had eaten, they both of us were starving since we had not eaten lunch or dinner yesterday.
The others questioned why we were away yesterday and I explained that we were too caught up with our lyrics that we had fallen asleep. They bought that excuse and made us promise to let them listen to it once we were done.
A couple of days passed just like that, with us thinking of lyrics in the day and helping him with his kissing at night. But the kisses were no longer the same as the one before, I had no longer put myself before him and even allow him to win sometimes much to his annoyance that I was letting him win on purpose.
We were much closer which was obvious whenever Otoya heads to me first whenever something good happens and he would always look at me with those big puppy eyes till I pat him. Nanami-san and Otoya had more time to go on dates too but Otoya tends to bring something back that he claims that suits me rather often.
Today was slightly different. I had only finished breakfast before Otoya had dragged me out saying that he had chanced upon a place that I would like during his date last night. I was really amused that he actually pays so much attention to me even during his dates with Nanami-san.
The first time he had given me a cute cat charm saying that it reminded him of me had me all confused. It became apparent to me that Otoya would talk to me about the places he goes to during his dates and most of the time, he would get a little something back for me.
There was this newly opened music store that interested me deeply with their types of books. I enquired about a book that I had been looking for a long time but they did not have it either. I bought a book while Otoya seemed slightly down that I was not able to get what I want.
Noticing that I had caused him to get upset, I grabbed hold of his hand and entered a café, telling him that he could order whatever he wants. Otoya sulked to himself when I made it clear that I was going to treat him no matter what, only cheering up when I told him he could decide what we could do later.
That had caused him to order quickly and by the time we were done, he had already decided on what we were going to do. Why has he decided to on a farm tour is something you have to ask him. But it was rather fun and I did enjoy myself with him a lot.
I was still pretty much confused what I was feeling towards him. The only thing that I understood was that I no longer liked Nanami-san in that sense any more. When I spotted Otoya and Nanami-san in a corner one day, I could feel the jealousy rising up when I saw that Nanami-san was attempting to kiss Otoya.
Why was I that upset that they were going to kiss? They were going out and it was more natural for them to kiss each other than for Otoya to kiss me. But Otoya had moved away from her range and he kissed her cheek before dashing past me.
He was blushing when he noticed me and he grabbed hold of my hand all the way back to our room before he released it. I questioned why he had not kissed her and his explanation confuses me. His reason was simply that he was uncomfortable with kissing her but yet he was able to kiss me all this time.
That was weird but I had not questioned it, instead, I gave him a small peck that he did not move away but responded instead. I chuckled when I realized at last that I had fallen for him somewhere along this. Patting Otoya on the head lightly, I told him that it was best that we do not do it anymore as I was not sure that I would be able to hold back or stand him kissing Nanami-san now that I realize my feelings for him.
Otoya seemed upset and unhappy at the same time, demanding why I was stopping it. I chuckled and kissed him deeply before pulling back. "Because I'm not sure if I'm able to hold back anymore. I can't offer you any more help with Nanami-san…."
I bit my tongue from continuing my sentence. During this short period of time, I had grown used to his company and having him around me. He spends more time with me than anyone else and his smile was really contagious. His smile brightens my day and I really liked having him around. Kissing him is really enjoyable too, especially when he does not treat me as someone else when he does.
But that does not mean that I was going to steal him away from Nanami-san. I owned a lot to her and it would be ungrateful of me to snatch him away from her. No matter how much I liked him, there was no way I could have him. I had given part of me to him to keep while in return I got the short period of time that was only between me and him. That was enough, I would never be able to get over him if I let myself continue it.
Otoya was quiet and he seemed to be in deep thoughts. I ruffled his hair and patted him, enjoying the feel of his hair before I stopped and turned. But Otoya had his hand entwined in mine, preventing me from moving. He had a serious look in his eyes as he spoke, making it known that he had made up his mind. "What if I don't want you to hold back? Every one of us is indebted to Nanami and I understand that you don't want to hurt her. But just today, let us be true to ourselves and once morning comes, everything would come to an end. I like you Tokiya…..you gave me something that belongs to me and I don't want to lose it… but I can't hurt Nanami no matter what. That's why, Tokiya you can do whatever you want today."
Otoya smiled softly before he kissed me. Ironic that even if he returns my feelings, the both of us are still unable to do anything that would hurt Nanami-san. I closed my eyes and kissed him back. The kiss grew desperate in a matter of seconds as I tried to keep the memory of his taste in my mind. That way, I would not forget it that easily.
He mewled when I started rubbing against him. It was just for today anyways and he did say that I could do whatever I wanted. Even if it is just for today, I still want to own him. The kisses were much more intense than ever, he was kissing me back with as much desperation as I put in.
It was bitter than it would be the last time that I could kiss him like this again and he would be kissing Nanami-san instead from now on. He was panting really heavily when I pulled away since I only did when Otoya was running out of breath.
I licked his neck before biting and sucking on the skin between his neck and collar bone lightly. Otoya had one of his arms around me while the other one in my hair. I started unbuttoning his shirt to get more access and it was removed as soon as I was done and gotten him to allow me to take it off.
I wanted a short keepsake for him to remember this, even if it was for a short time, to show that he was mine even if it was for night. I sucked and bit at the spot, careful not to draw any blood but hard enough to leave a mark on him. Of course I made sure that it was a place that he could cover with his shirt.
He was scowling when I bit too hard and I licked it once I was done. It was slightly red and he was pouting once he saw what I did, muttering an unfair that he was the only one that got marked. I laughed and took my shirt off and pulling him down.
Otoya was still pouting and mumbled that why was I always in control of everything. I preferred the taste of his mouth more than the taste of his skin, his scent was really overwhelming. It was hard to look at him well he was meekly licking around with a cute innocent face. How does he manage to keep such a look even now?
It was like I was tainting a white canvas by making it black. These kind of thoughts probably would not have gotten through Otoya's mind if I was not involved. He would still be just as innocent as he normally is with there being no way Nanami-san would taint him with her being as innocent as him.
I was most likely the only one that could get the kind of reaction and look from him. Seeing that he was still deciding where he wanted to leave the mark, I moved my hand around to feel his body. I rubbed against the lean muscle of his stomach, thinking that he was lucky that he would not get fat no matter what he eats.
I probed around before I moved my hand upwards and brushing past his nipples. I heard a small gasp from him when my fingers started kneading one of them while the other continued moving around his body. He bit down onto my shoulder to cover his sounds and I hissed at the pain. Once it had gotten hard, I moved onto the other one, earning yet another surprised gasp from him.
I was rubbing the nub rather hardly, wondering why I was fooling around when I hardly had gotten any time left. But the look on his face was really hard to resist especially when I look into his eyes. I hissed and started kissing him again; my right hand had slipped into the waistband of his pants and had started teasing the skin above his boxers.
He whimpered when my hand started brushing past him through his boxers and he was was definitely getting harder slowly. I withdrew my hand, earning a displeased whimper coming from him. Sending him a smirk, I slowly removed his pants causing him to complain that I was teasing him way too much.
Otoya hissed when he felt the cold air blowing against his exposed bottom half. He had enough of my teasing and just yanked his boxers off himself, blushing as red as his hair when he realized how embarrassing that was when I looked at him.
I moved my hand teasingly up his length, slowly as I brushed my fingers from the tip all the way to the top. I was rewarded with a soft moan and I started pumping him slowly. His cries were really nice to hear but now that I had tasted his skin as well, I was curious as to how he tasted like.
I moved downwards, earning a surprised look from him. He was rather puzzled over what I was doing till I gave the underside of his length a lick. He gasped loudly and started stuttering and asking what I was doing. I ignored him and nuzzled it lightly before licking around, moving slowly downwards till I reached the tip.
I glanced up and looked at him, his face was really red and he was covering his mouth with his hand. Frowning, I reached up and tugged his hand away and shook my head. I wanted to hear him and he was preventing me from doing so but covering his mouth.
As a form of punishment, I took in his length into my mouth without any warning, hollowing out my cheeks to allow more of it inside my mouth. A surprised grasp escaped his lips and a muffled moan came out when I began sucking. He was still trying to hide his moans from me and I made it harder for him by attempting to make him make more sounds.
My tongue travelled up till I reached the slit, earning more muffled moans from him when I licked the drops of pre-cum that were forming there, smirking when I finally got to hear a clear and not muffled sound coming from him.
He had placed his fingers in my hair and yanked pretty hardly when I teased him further. The pain was ignored as I favoured teasing and tasting him more. The sounds that he was making were music to my ears and I hungrily lapped onto the drops he's releasing.
His moans grew louder when I started sucking him again, using one of my hands to massage his balls. The cries grew louder and words sounding like tease and mean could be heard as I relentlessly continued to tease him. He tugged on my hair harshly and whispered that he was going to come soon and I better pull away.
I shook my head and sucked even harder like I was sucking through a straw to sip my drink. He gave a loud cry and came, most likely tugging some strands of my hair off in the process from the pain I felt. I swallowed everything up much to his protests that I really should remove my mouth away already.
He was shaking as he tried to get over his orgasm, the flushed cheeks and half-lidded eyes only reminded me of how painfully hard I was. His face grew redder when I licked my lips. Growling, I leaned up and kissed him deeply. He seemed pretty unhappy about having to taste himself and his cheeks were as red as before.
He really was too cute for his own good and that was something that was not helping me in anyway. The kiss was getting deeper and it was rather hard dominating him as I tried to kick off my pants. Otoya was making sure he was not looking down at all and I chuckled into the kiss as his crimson orbs stared into mine.
They were pretty but now was not the time to get lost in his eyes. Shaking my head, I pulled away from his lips as much as I still wanted to kiss him longer. But I was growing really impatient by the second and I really did not want to just take him without any preparation.
I got rid of the last offending clothing off and he blinked confusedly at the fingers that were brought in front of his mouth. "Suck."
Otoya nodded his head slowly; obviously still very much confused as he opened his mouth to let my fingers enter his mouth. He licked them and meekly sucked them as I moved the fingers around. I was definitely impatient when I pulled them away from his mouth without any warning and hissed a warning that it was going to hurt before I placed a finger into his entrance slowly.
Otoya cried out in pain and his muscles were rejecting my finger as they tightened around it painfully. The warmth around it only made me more impatient but even then, I still did not have the heart to rush in and hurt him.
The only comfort I could offer him was to ask him to relax as I distracted him with another kiss. He gripped my shoulders tightly as he slowly began to relax as my finger went in knuckle-deep. But that did not last long when I stuck in the second finger and beginning to scissor around.
My kiss did manage to distract him slightly as he desperately closed his eyes and tried to kiss back frantically to get the feeling of pain away. I whispered a soft apology into the kiss as I probed the third finger in slowly. Now that I had all three in him, I began to loosen him up as well as trying to dig around for the bundle of nerves that would help to get him to calm down.
I moved my fingers in deeper, still attempting to find the specific spot. Seconds later, the moan that came from his mouth confirmed that I had spotted it. I made a mental note to myself of the rough position of where it was located to help me find it easier later.
I continued stretching him and brushing my fingers around that spot every once in a while. His face was flushing and I withdrew from the kiss to allow him to breathe in regularly again. A soft mewl escaped his lips as I withdrew my fingers away.
It would be easier for him if we had any lubricant around but that was something that neither of us had and I supposed we would just have to do without it. Of course, that was going to make it a lot more painful for him and I winced at the thought of being unable to control myself and ending up too rough on him.
I glanced at his face carefully, asking him slowly if he was really sure that he wanted to do this although my body was already aching and if he said no, I really have no clue what I will do. He nodded his head and closed his eyes as he softly asked me to continue.
He was obviously nervous and my constant whispers for him to relax were totally not going to help him in any way. But I had to remind him to relax, otherwise it would hurt him even more and I really did not want to see any pained expression coming from him.
I had no intention on losing the chance to see his face when this was probably the first and last time that we were going to do this. I spreaded his legs opened and placed them around my waist as I moved and directed my erection to his entrance slowly.
My mind was screaming for me to just enter him in one quick thrust and I distracted myself away from that thought by engaging another kiss with him. The tight and warm muscles clenched tightly around were making it really hard for me to continue this slow pace. The pained look on his face was something I really disliked seeing and I brought my right hand downwards to further distract him away from the pain by pumping him again.
That seemed to help as his face slowly relaxed and by that time I was already balls-deep and I had ceased any further movement. He was responding to the kiss and I took that as a sign that he was slowly adjusting to me. I was not going to move yet though, not until I was sure that he really could handle it.
The seconds ticked by and it was getting harder and harder for me to not just start thrusting in and out of him. I scowled at my own impatientness, my usual calm and collected self was fading away and leaving me with this part of myself that I do not even know.
Otoya opened his eyes and gave me a brief nod hesitantly. His nervousness was still present but his features were really relaxed and I just gave in to my canine instincts just this once, making sure that I restrained myself at least slightly.
I pulled out and slowly slammed back in again, the strangled moans further urging me to go further. I moved around towards the angle of the point I reminded earlier and it took me a few tries before I found it. His moans and cries grew louder and the sadistic side of me took over as I increased the speed of my thrusts towards that spot.
I was relentless hitting that spot again and again, the hips that met my thrusts simply made me thrust into him harder. The drops of sweat falling from my body were ignored as I leaned up to get another kiss from him. All these started with a kiss after all, and it would be the last thing we would do before we part as well.
I could feel my release coming soon and increased the pace of my pumps to make him over the edge soon. He was panting, not as heavily as me probably thanks to the stamina he had gained through his sport activities. I closed my eyes to enjoy listening to his moans longer; I would not have the chance to hear them again after all.
My possessiveness was going to be hard to control after this, but I had no choice now did I? We cannot hurt her, the one that had helped us both so much. If she ever learnt of this, we would no doubt hurt her, but at the least let me have this small comfort that I had both his heart and body with me once.
I growled and shook my negative thoughts away, now was not the time to waste this by thinking of unhappy things. He whimpered a close to me as he dug his nails into my back, the pain was not easily ignored with the amount of force he applied to it. It would no doubt leave scars for a while, ones that would fade away real soon and leaving me with nothing but my memories to remember this.
Otoya released first, riding his orgasm slowly as he continued to dig his nails into my back. It was going to be hard for him when he had already came while I was still seeking to find mine. I refused to stop till I found mine and I hurriedly thrusted harder and faster, getting more gasps and whines from him as I finally came.
I stuttered his name out and waited for my body to relax and calm down from the high, refusing to pull out even then. I wanted to be connected to him a while longer, his limp body clinging to me as he tried to calm his breathing down.
With a sigh, I pulled out slowly, earning a wince from him when I removed myself from him completely. He was tired out but even then, he was still smiling. Closing my eyes, I gripped onto him as I dragged him towards the other bed.
Otoya clung close to me once we were lying down, the both of us well aware that everything would come to an end once we wake up. He was sniffing as he tightened the hug on me, whispering that he was sorry that we had gotten into this whole mess. If he had never seeked for my help, the both of us would not be this unhappy.
Hushing him was not easy but I managed to calm him down by kissing his forehead and patting his head, holding him close to me. My feelings were not going to disappear, even if this ends in a few hours. There was no way anyone could replace him in my heart, he had earned that spot through his persistent and there was no one foolish enough to try to enter a cold person's heart.
Sleep came slowly for the both of us, neither of us wanted to have this end so quickly. His warmth has always had the soothing effect on me, even if I tried to deny it in the past. Otoya had fallen asleep with his iron-grip on me and I smiled at them, keeping him close to me as I tried to sleep.
The both of us said nothing in the morning; the only difference was the tight grip on my head. This was too wishy-washy for me and I pulled him in for one last kiss before breaking our contact, bidding him a good bye.
We were never going to be close again, just like how things were before we started the whole thing. Who knew that things would end up this unexpected and ended up like this? I started with having feelings for Nanami-san but it moved onto Otoya without my knowledge. Either way, I was not going to get a happy ending anyway, but that was fine, as long as Otoya's happy, everything would be alright for me.
It was hard not having Otoya around, I was used to his company and it hurted whenever I see him around with Nanami-san. We made sure to not have any interactions between the both of us alone, not speaking to each other even when we were in our room.
The silence affected Otoya greatly, and he would always have this sad look on his face. His smiles were growing rare and everyone had noticed the obvious change in him and whatever questions they asked were greeted with the same answer that everything was alright.
I missed seeing him smile but it was not like I could do anything to help him. The urge to approach him and pat him on the head is great and as a force of habit, he would always turn his head to me when he did something good, his expression growing sad as he remembered that we were supposed to be distant now.
I would close my eyes and distract myself every time that happens, ignoring the pain in my heart that cries for me to hold him. I missed his touch and smiles a lot, even when I knew that he was never going to be mine to begin with. He belonged to Nanami-san and not me.
My memories did not help in anyways, they only made it more painful when I remember that we had nothing to do with each other already. My feelings were not go away, no matter how hard I tried to will them away, they always end up resurfacing again.
We had a pair of fangirls coming to see us, with each of us having one of them to follow is for half a day. It was necessary to appease the fans once in a while, although I really hated how she tries to stick close to me.
Otoya was indifferent to his, making the fangirl really annoyed that her flirting was getting her nowhere. The girl next to me had grabbed my arm when I was distracted with him and asked me if I could pat her on the head. I was going to refuse, I had made a promise back then that my touch was for Otoya and him alone. He beat me to it completely. "No! That's mine….."
I managed a small smile, and ruffled his head affectionately, letting my emotions loose just this once. "Sorry but my touches are meant for someone else. There's only one person that I would do that to and that isn't you."
She seemed mad and Otoya clung close to me, he was shaking and I tried to reassure him that he was not going to lose the first thing that actually belonged to him. I did the only thing that could get her away from us and that was to create an act. "My apologises but could the both of you go to the other members instead. Otoya isn't feeling well and I don't think we could keep this up."
The girl seemed to doubt me while Otoya's fangirl trusted my words and grabbed her friend away to look for the others. Otoya was like a deadweight right now, no words and no reaction. I gently got him away from me and carried him back to our room.
I petted him on the head and whispered his name hoping to get him to snap out of it. It did and he immediately cried and clung to me saying how he was afraid that he was going to lose me to someone else. He does not want anyone to get me ever and he wanted my touch to forever belong to him.
Embracing him tightly, I wiped the tears away with my fingers and kissed his cheek lightly, playing with his hair as I breathed in his familiar scent. This was wrong and against what we agreed on but I really had missed his touch a lot more that I thought know that he is in my arms again.
It was hard to push him away and I really did not want to do that. I wanted to hold him forever and never let go of him, keeping him close to me all the time. Otoya gripped my shoulders and kissed me softly.
His lips were as soft as I remembered and I licked his lips, gaining entrance immediately. It might had been a while but neither of us had forgotten the movements of the dance we were familiar with back then and it only grew more intense as the seconds passed by.
We were both panting when we pulled away and he embraced me tightly, telling me how much he missed me and it was really hard to go out with Nanami-san when his mind kept flashing me instead.
Was our choice the right one? To protect the one that had given us so much, we ended up hurting ourselves and making her worry. She definitely would not want us to be doing this if she knew and I voiced it out to him.
Otoya had his eyes closed before opening them, a serious glint in them. He had made up his mind just as I had. We were going to keep our relationship a secret but he was still going to break up with her. It would be unfair to her as well as preventing her from getting her true happiness if he continued to stay with her even when his feelings for her had faded.
It was really hard for him to break the news to her, and I felt really guilty when I saw her trying to hold back her tears as she told Otoya that it was alright. I had stolen him from her, from the person that gave me the strength to sing again. But I wanted to be selfish and love was something that you could not force and I really could not let Otoya to her.
He was too caught in my life for me to imagine a life without him. Otoya was mad at himself as he approached me and we walked back to our room in silence. Once the door closed, he threw himself to me and cried that we were really bad to do such a thing to her.
It was too late for regrets now that our feelings had grew so deep. I patted him, saying that everything was my fault, I was the one that got us caught up in this in the first place. Even now, I did not regret my decision, not when I have him in my arms again.
This time, there was no way I was ever going to let go of him again. I muttered that to him and he looked up with a small smile as he whispered that he was going to do the same.
It took a while but Nanami-san and Otoya went back to their old selves and they smiled at each other like in the past. I was selfish, but Otoya was mine and even if I was ruining the small hope she had whenever she sees his smiles directed to her, I was breaking it.
I grabbed him away whenever that happens, much to his oblivious. It was times like this that I was glad that he was that dense. Just one of us knowing that we were hurting her was enough, Otoya would be blaming himself if he ever learnt that.
I was going to accept everything that came from my selfishness, keeping Otoya to myself. I know that Nanami-san would move on one day, at least I hoped so. Until then, maybe my guilt would finally fade away.
Even with that, I still enjoyed having him around with me. Otoya and I had gradually started acting more like a real couple when we are alone and that was good enough for us, even if we never get to let anyone know about us. This was one secret the both of us found worthwhile. "I love you Otoya…"
He chuckled and kissed my cheek, tugging his head under my chin. "I love you too, Tokiya."
[[ OKAY. SO NOW I'M READY FOR THE HATE AND FLAMES. I KNOW. I SUCK AT SMUT….IT JUST ISN'T MY THING. I'M JUST GOING TO BANG MY HEAD AT THE WALL NOW FOR WRITING THIS… I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY. IT'S JUST A FAILURE…. SORRY FOR MAKING YOU READ THIS CRAP. ]]