Note: I'm sure a lot of people have done this before, but I had this thing in one of my REALLY old notebooks and thought I'd upload it for shits and giggles. The 'two strangers' mentioned here are for convinience ONLY (not important characters); in fact this is told more through Kagome's POV. In here expect to see mentions of sex (very awkward mentions) and OCC. I hope you guys find it funny. AND PLEASE REVIEW and tell me what you liked or disliked about this little drabble-ish shot! =) Also... This was written YEARS ago when I was fifteen, so it's not as good as my most recent adult works (I'm pretty old now. LOL)


"Hell no! It's your story dammit! I'm not saying anything!" Inuyasha snapped, blushing furiously at the stranger's suggestion.

"Actually I think it's a good idea," Miroku remarked with an evil secretive little smile.

"Yeah, man. Tell us," the male stranger drawled lazily beside his slyly smirking female companion.

"This is going to be funny," Sango muttered to herself not looking at anyone in particular.

"I think he's too chicken shit to tell us," the female companion that Inuyasha was obviously begining to hate, chuckled enjoying his discomfort at the conversation.


"WHAT?" everyone shouted and by some devine miracle of some obscure fanfiction god, Shippou and Kirara had not woken up from their sleeping places near the campfire. Their conversation wasn't precisely 'quiet' but they didn't need the two small demons over-hearing them.

"I'll explain because you bunch of morons don't know how its done!" Inuyasha looked about as red as his firerat, but he somehow managed to force on a detached icy expression on his brilliant crimsom face.

No one can ever call Inuyasha a coward., Kagome mused silently, watching her secret love prepare to give the most embarassing speech of his lifetime.

"Well...?" the female companion pressed teasingly.

"Wait wench! I though you already knew! Why do I have to do this shit?"

"Because you agreed to," the way in which the female said it in a tone that simply said 'you're an idiot' really pushed Inuyasha's short-lived patient buttons.

"Oh shit," her male companion murmured with an amused smile at the turn of events while Inuyasha remained quiet. By all indications the half-demon was scared out of his mind and Kagome couldn't help feeling bad for him. His growing feud with the strangers that had come upon their campsite had pushed him too far.

I have to stop this even if he'll get mad at me!

"I could explain!"

"WHAT?" now it was everyone's turn to shout and gape at her.

"No, Kagome! I said I was gonna do it, so I will!" Inuyasha didn't like being saved.

"No I will!"

"No! I'll start explaining it right now!"


"A guy and a wench-"

"Nooooo!" both of her hands fisted her hair dramatically as she screeched that one word.

Everyone stared at her with such intensity that made her want to crawl into a cave or any other dark place never to be seen again.

"Can I finish?" both of Inuyasha's brows twitched in annoyance and embarassment.

"Um, sure...," she laughed nervously, lowering her hands to her sides, her face so damned hot over screaming like a damsel in distress from some cheap horror movie.

"Anyways! Where was I?" Inuyasha grew redder and another awkward pause followed.

"I knew it! He doesn't know jackshit!" the female stranger fell on her side laughing at him. To make matters worse she pointed at him while guffawing and almost everyone else joined in.

"Shut your damn trap! I was getting there, but you wenches keep interrupting me!" Inuyasha lamely defended himself.

The quiet came once again.

Taking a deep shuddering breath and loudly clearing his throat, the half-demon looked into the fire in front of him.

"Before I say any of this shit, Kagome has to promise not to sit me and none of you, I mean none of you, can laugh or interrupt me!" he sent a hard look at all of those present and was satisfied at see some reluctant nods.

"Kagome?" the miko jumped when he said her name.

"Don't worry," she whispered suddenly finding her folded white-knuckled hands on her lap very interesting.

"Keh! Anyway... There's all different kinds of mating," he began, then glared at the female stranger who had a chorus of snorts escaping her scrunched up tight lips,"There's the... guy on top of the wench," a gasp came from a shocked Sango. Gulping he slowly continued in spite of the scandalized sound, "The guy behind the wench," an 'eep!" came from Kagome and Miroku had a huge grin on his face as he leaned forwared to listen, "The wench on top. Just a bunch of shit... There's lots of touching and kissing before it though," snickers came from some unknown source, "Whoever just did that needs to shut the fuck up!" he glared at everyone. Silence reigned again, "Um...," lowering his chin to his chest, he shielded his face with his pale hair.

"The guy usually touched the-the chest and... kisses and sucks," everyone's jaws fell to the ground, "on the nipples. Wenches... seem to like that a lot for some reason... and he just... Touches her between her-" a 'Sssss' sound came out of Kagome's clenched teeth,"YOU FUCKING PROMISED!" the miko stopped her attempt at discreetly hissing a 'sit' command, "He touches her between her legs and sometimes kisses her there," another 'Ssss' rung out again, "A certain wench promised," the hiss stopped immediately. "Anyway... He's supposed to get hard at some point and he pushes... his... the... the hard part... Yeah... That into her... and he moves in and out and a lot of weird sounds are involved all up in it... and he empties his... his stuff in her... her... her hole," the female stranger started to snort again, "And if if she was in heat at the time... She gets pregnant and has her pups... There!" he finally finished shaming the absolute crap out of himself.

It was surprising that even crickets could be heard. That was how traumatizing it was for most of them.

He actually did it! He said it! Where did he learn all of that stuff anyway?, Kagome asked herself furiously.

"DUDE! Where did you learn that shit?" the female stranger howled, tears runnind down her face. She was still in shock. She had expected a more clinical explanation. Not something so detailed. She actually admired him for going through with it!

"Keh. I'm not saying that."

Kagome herself took a shot at it, just as curious to know, "But where-?"

"Don't. Go. There."

"Have you," Miroku gulped, his eyes having a watery look to them as if he were to burst into tears at any second, "had relations before, Inuyasha...?"

The half-demon's eyes widened to enormous proportions and without any words, he jumped up and ran as fast as he could from the group.

"Why are you crying, Monk?" Sango snapped at the now sobbing Miroku.

"It's just not fair! How come...?"

"Don't tell me you're a virgin!" the male stranger rose both of his brows in disbelief.

"Is that a trick question?"

The End