Drabble = frustration about what is happening on the manga. I don't dislike Zero, but I will forever swore off VK if he ends up together with Yuuki. He's better off with Maria.
"No one can be a replacement for another person. That is why farewells are always difficult." - Kuran Kaname
Yuuki watches the snow swirl down from the skies, a powder of cold and white falling and covering everything in its path. The purity taunts her. She was once so pure, so innocent of the world around her. But that world was not hers, was it? She never belonged there.
Now that she is in her rightful place, she tries to compensate for all that happened to her. Things are stirring from within the purest of their kind, and like domino pieces lined up, they stumble upon each other. Every action triggers a new event, keeping the ball rolling until there are no more pieces left standing.
Except for the last piece.
She likes to believe that she will be saved. Kaname is doing this for her own safety. Kaname will never harm anyone intentionally, unless they stand along his way. She wants to hate him sometimes, for treating her as an ignorant child with no power but to stay sane and let the happening unfold. She wants to hate him for keeping her in the dark and not telling ahead of time who he really is. Maybe then she could have pulled a few strings and prevented this stirring from taking place. Maybe then she could have wielded what potential she has, and that she will not be stranded at the finish line, waiting if he will come out of it alive.
She questions his trust on him. She questions his love. Does he really trust her, or is will she forever be just a child to watch over, a burden he has to carry? Does he really love her, or is he just blinded by the warmth he felt for that child who he once cradled in his arms? Does he really feel for her, or is she just a mere substitute for what he lost? She feels that Kaname is out of his time, only cutting the loose ends of his dreams to pacify the existence of their kind. She is just a piece of his game. A queen piece. But she will never be that majestic queen who stood by his side and faced the adversary, sacrificing her life so he may live on.
She will never be up to par to that lost love of his.
She may not tell it to anyone, but she is bitter. She can taste it, as she feeds, as fresh blood hits her tongue. She is very much aware of the pains of her victims. She cannot help but feed on that pain, because it is all that she is left to feel. A new start, eh? Who is she kidding? Kaname is not even there to start anew. Both his presence and the lack of his presence pains her, a reminder of her insecurities.
Maybe that is why she cannot pull away from Zero, no matter how wrong it is to maintain her friendship with him. Her predator, one of the few who can end her life. She can just ask him to end this suffering, but that will be cowardice. Life is there to live into. She has to see the end of the game, if not, the real end for her.
Maybe that is why she is selfish of Zero. She is not naive; Maria Kurenai is attracted to him. Ichiru is within Zero; Hiou Shizuka is within him too. Maria is lost without the two, so being with Zero will somewhat make up for her search. She does not want to fully surrender Zero to her. If that happens, she may be lost of what she knows she really has in her hands. Maybe someday, Zero can be there for Maria. For now, she has a greater need of him.
Zero is a friend. Zero wasfamily. She will not deny herself of the love she knows is there. Something in her is still human enough not to truly let go.
All is fair in love and war, Onii-sama.Kaname still grieves for that woman. Zero is yet to be lost in Yuuki's life. There will always be a part within them that will never belong to each other, no matter what the fates decide on in the end.
Maybe someday, they will be able to face each other as equals. Real equals. Real lovers. For now, they are in a limbo. A war is threatening to come and to rip them apart forever. If they survive, maybe they can really start over.
After all, what they feel for each other is not just mere attachment. What they have is strong, vivid, real, volatile.
They can only do much so it may not eat them alive.