"Mornin'!" Harry said as the last person walked into the room.

"Yeah, yeah." Severus moaned as he sat beside Sirius, ignoring his smirk. He really wasn't a morning person. Is that OK with you!

"Want some food, Fred? Severus?" Arthur asked, not noticing George shaking his head no violently.

Fred got up and ran to the bath room; sounds of vomiting could be heard.

"Dad!" George moaned and ran after his lover.

"S'ok. S'ok Freddie."

"Shut the FUCK up George!" Fred screamed, Molly came racing in and pushed George out.

"What's wrong with Fred?" Ginny asked. Harry smirked at her.

"Haven't you noticed?" Everyone looked at him. "I'll let Fred and George tell you, hey George isn't Fred supposed to be glowing?"

"Piss off Harry!" George moaned.

Fred and Molly walked back in, Molly looking pointedly toward Fred and George.

"Umm…" Fred started.

"We think-"


"We know" George corrected, shrinking under Fred's gaze. "That this will be amazing for us all-"

"And we wanted to tell you but-"

"Fred was sc-OW" Fred hit George hard…twice. "Ouch! I mean we were scared."

"So here it is, Georgie and I have been dating for 3 years-"

"And now I got Fred knocked-" Fred kicked him… hard. "OW! Geesh man! I mean, we were blessed with the gift of life and-"

"I'm engaged and pregnant!" Fred squealed. All the girls rushed over to touch the stomach and see the rock (Severus did also) while the men smirked at George making whip like motions with there arms.


"Can we please watch the clip?"

(Enter Quirrel)

QUIRREL: Fools! They're all fools! They think they're safe.

Cho giggled. Ron looked at her funny. "He looks funny." She giggled and Ron just shook his head.

They think they're back for another fun year of learning shenanigans at Hogwarts. Little do they know of the danger that's lurking right under their noses, or should I say, On the back of their heads! (Turns around and pulls turban off)

Everyone laughed at this, "O my god!"

VOLDY: Arghh! (Starts to cough) ugh, ugh, ugh ugh ugh! (Quirrel bends over) Erugh! Ough! I can't breathe in that damn turban!

"Voldemorts kinda cute." Severus and Ginny gushed. When they saw everyone staring at them Severus flushed while Ginny shrugged.

"He is!" Everyone laughed while Sirius glanced at Severus, maybe if he gelled back his hair…

QUIRREL: I'm sorry my Lord, its a necessary precaution. For if they knew that you lived, that when Harry Potter destroyed you your soul lived on...

"Then everyone would be mad! Yaddah, yaddah yaddah! I don't care!" Harry sighed.

VOLDY: Yes, that when my body was destroyed I was forced to live in the forbidden forest, eating bugs, and mushrooms, and ugh, Unicorn blood.

"Ewww… I remember seeing him…" Harry shivered.

QUIRREL: Until I found you and let you attach yourself to my soul.

VOLDY: Yes, Nobody must know any of that.

"We do!" Remus sighed. "Have for many, many years."

Now, Quirrel, get me some water. (Quirrel bends over and gets water.) Now Quirrel, pour it in my mouth. (Unscrews it and starts to pour backwards into Voldy's mouth).

"I love this bloody musical!" Remus and Sirius laughed, while everyone else shook their heads.


"Wait till they do you're character." Harry sighed. Hermione and Ron exchanged a look.

QUIRREL: Your plan to infiltrate Hogwarts on the back of my head is going swimmingly my liege.

Everyone looked at Severus. "What!" He asked, leaning against Sirius slightly.

"Do you guys call him 'liege'?" Sirius asked.

"No, Mostly Dark lord, My lord, and sometimes my king." Severus said.

"My Lord!" Sirius said, mimicking being scared of someone, Severus hit him hard enough to leave a large bruise.

VOLDY: Yes, yes, I'm done with the water.

(Quirrel bends back over to put water down.) We must not have any more foul ups like tonight in the great hall.

"You sneezed!" Tonks said.

QUIRREL: I'm sorry My Lord, you sneezed.

She blinked at the screen.

VOLDY: I know that! Get me some lazonex, you swine!

"Lazonex?" Ron questioned.

"Muggle product for colds." Hermione said, hoping no-one noticed when she held his hand. Everyone did though.

(Quirrel bends to get it and puffs it into Voldy's nose and then his own :P) Wash that turban, it tickles my nose.

QUIRREL: Yes my Dark King.

"Did you leave one out Sev?" Sirius teased, but Severus blushed. "OhMyMerlin!" Sirius said.

"Voldemort is living on his head, can't he call him by that?" Draco asked.

VOLDY: Okay, just relax with the Dark King, okay? I watch you wipe your butt daily. You can call me Voldemort we're there. We've reached that point.

"Wow you're a lot like the actor." Ron teased.

"I am most certainly not!" Draco huffed.

QUIRREL: Yes, my- Voldemort.

VOLDY: Now Quirrel, get us ready for bed. We must be well (bends over) rested if we wish to kill Potter.

"On that tiny thing!" Hermione sighed.

Tonight in the great hall, he was so close! We could have touched him.

"That sounds so wrong!" Hannah giggled. Neville laughed with her and put a hand on her knee, making them blush. He left it there.

(Quirrels put mouthwash in his mouth) Revenge is at my fingertips Quirrel, I can taste it! It tastes like cool mint.

"Your mouth wash, dumb ass!"

"George! Language around Nicole!" Fred scowled his Fiancé, putting his hands on his stomach.

"Yes dear." George sighed but smiled at his fiancée, he had always loved Fred.

"Umm…. Nicole?" Harry asked.

"Oh! If-Ow!- when we have a daughter it-" George started.


"She will be named Nicole Anne Weasley, and if we have a boy he will be named Conner Billius Weasley. After Mum's dad and Ron, of course."

QUIRREL: That's our Listerine Voldemort.


VOLDY: Yes, excellent. Well, um, goodnight Quirrel.

QUIRREL: (Turns so that Quirrels back is facing the bed) Goodnight. (Leans back slowly and Voldy's head goes straight into the pillow. Stays there for about five seconds)


VOLDY: Okay okay, I can't do this! You got to roll over, I can't sleep on my tummy.

QUIRREL: I always sleep on my back, I have back problems, It's the only way I'm comfortable.

VOLDY: You roll over RIGHT NOW!


Or I'll- I'll eat your pillow!

"Wow," Hermione and Dumbledore said, then all laughed so hard they cried. They. Have. No. life.

"What a weird threat." Moody scoffed.

You'll be having a dream that you're eating a giant marshmallow and you'll wake up and find your favorite goose feathered pillow will be missing.

"I love marshmallow's!" Ron said, only to be swallowed in a mountain of marshmallows. Everyone found this very amusing.

QUIRREL: Fine, we'll compromise. We'll sleep on our side.

VOLDY: Okay, I guess I can do this.

QUIRREL: Now goodnight.

VOLDY: Goodnight Quirrel. (Voldy's eyes are open and is staring at the robes on the chair next to the bed. Keeps looking for around fifteen seconds.) Hey Quirrel. How long have those robes been on that chair?

"O my Merlin! Like a married couple." Fred laughed; George decided not to tell him that he was the same way sometimes.

"I know it's-"Harry started.

"Very disturbing." Ginny finished. Everyone stared at them.


QUIRREL: I think they're from last night, I just put them there for now.

VOLDY: Well, are you planning on putting them in a hamper? What's your plan with these?

"Is he all about plans?" Harry asked. Hermione and Ron shrugged, and then they all looked at Severus.

"Yes.. he is…" Sirius chuckled at Sev's discomfort 'till he was hit hardly..again.

QUIRREL: I figured I'd just leave them there for now and put them away in the morning okay?

VOLDY: No! No, no that's not okay! I can't go to sleep knowing that there is dirty clothes on the chair, the chair is going to start to smell like dirty clothes!

"It will!" Molly nodded, not realizing she was agreeing with a evil 'lord'.

QUIRREL: Look, I promise I'll put them away in the morning.

"That reminds me of you and Fleur!" Charlie said to Bill, who was crossing and un-crossing the arms.

"'Ow so?" Fleur asked.

"Well, he always says he will put stuff up and…" Bill hit Charlie, but not before Fleur said "Well maybe he'll appreciate my cleaning more if he sleeps on the couch."

VOLDY: You put them away, RIGHT NOW! I COMAND YOU to just, fold them at least! Make it into a neat pile. (They both sit up)

QUIRREL: Look, if we're going to be in this situation for a while, we're going to have to learn to live with each other. Now, I've been single all my life

"Oh! My! Merlin!" Hermione wheezed.

And I have some habits, and sometimes I leave laundry around.

VOLDY: Well, I believe that everything has its place. Muggles have their place, Mudbloods have their place and so do your clothes! Namely, a dresser!

Cho giggled. Ron stared at her again. "What!" She demanded.


QUIRREL: Well, aren't we an odd couple! (Starts to sing and stands up) You won't sleep on your tummy,

VOLDY: You won't sleep on your back.

"Aren't those the same things?" Ron and Harry asked.

QUIRREL+VOLDY: We're quite a kooky couple you'll agree.

"They admit it!" Harry screamed.

"Harry, Honey, Please keep your voice down." Hermione groaned, she's really not a morning person. You got a problem with that! Huh!


QUIRREL: We share some hands and fingers,

VOLDY: And yet the feeling lingers.

QUIRREL+VOLDY: We're just about as different, as anyone can be!

VOLDY: You like plotting a garden, and I like plotting to kill!

"Wow!" and "There so perfect!" Rang through the room. Remus and Sirius smiled at each other, Making Tonks and Severus frown.

QUIRREL: You think that you should rule the world, I think books are a thrill! Sipping tea by the fire is swell-

Hermione nodded dreamily "Especially with coco.."

VOLDY: Pushing people in is fun as well.

"Eek, disturbing much?" Tonks asked.

"He has issues, man." Dean said, shivering.

"I know." Seamus and everyone else muttered.

I like folding all my ties.


QUIRREL: And you have no friends, hey that's a surprise!

"O my Merlin!" Dumbledore wheezed, everyone was laughing.

QUIRREL+VOLDY: I guess it's plain to see, when you look at you and me! We're different, different, different as can be.

VOLDY: You're a sissy, a twat, a girl! I'm the darkest of Lords.

"He's a sissy, a girl, and you fret over messes, and fold your own clothes?"

QUIRREL: I'm the smartest professor here, I've won several awards!

"Excuse me!" All the Professors yelled.

VOLDY: My new worlds about to unfold,

QUIRREL: You got beat by a two year old.

Everyone laughed at that.

"I love this Quirrel, Hey George remember when we-"

"Made snowballs bounce off the back of his head? Yeah I do!" That got everyone laughing again.

VOLDY: I'll kill him this time through and through,

QUIRREL: Or you might just give him another tattoo.

"It's a scar, not a tattoo!" Ron said.

"Ron, sweetie?" Hermione said.


"A Tattoo is a scar." Ron blushed while everyone snickered.

QUIRREL+VOLDY: You really must agree, when you look at you and me! We're different, different, different as can-

VOLDY: I'll rise again and I'll rule the world!

"See how well that's working out?" Harry moaned.

But you must help me renew! For when our plans succeed-

QUIRREL: Prevails!

"Same thing!" Harry and Ginny stated.

VOLDY: Part of that world goes to you.

"If only we weren't there, and if Quirrel didn't die, of course." The trio mused.

QUIRREL: When I rule the world I plant flowers!

VOLDY: When I rule the world I'll have Snakes!

Harry whispered something in parseltongue to Ginny, making her shiver.

VOLDY: And goblins and werewolves a fleet of Dementors and giants and thestrals and all my death eaters!

"That's a lot!" Ginny said when Harry and Luna yelled. "Thestral King/Queen!" And tackled each other, laughing.

"Wha!" Ginny and Draco said while everyone giggled.

"Nuthin!" Luna and Harry scrambled up, blushing.

"Nargels have taken over our common sense." Harry said nodded. Everyone stared at them. "What I'm serious-"

"No He's Sirius!" Severus said, pointing to Sirius than they both laughed.

QUIRREL+VOLDY: When I rule the world! (Both start to laugh like ani-meniacs)


"Well, that's the clip." Fred stated.

"Let's watch the next one!" Sirius and Severus screamed.

Hoped it didn't suck to much! lol! Once again i leave you!

Harri. Potter