Title: A friendly warning

Author: ebatcl/Natalie

Pairing: Lollie friendship (with hints of Clois, Chlollie)

Rating: General, with some adult talk.

Spoiler: S9 - Escape

Summary: After leaving the McDougal Inn, Lois texts Oliver with some sisterly concern, as Clark drives them back to the Talon.

A/N: So, here's my next attempt to write a humor fic ;). Hope you guys like it :o.

P.S. I tried as much as possible to use "mobile phone texing spellings", so I hope you guys don't get confused :o.

Disclaimer: I do not own Smallville.


Legs to Green Leather: U home yet?

Green Leather to Legs: Yup, y?

Legs to Green Leather: Chloe der wit u?

Green Leather to Legs: No, I dropped her off at da Talon. Did u need her 4 something?

Legs to Green Leather: If I wanted 2 talk 2 Chloe, I'd be texting her, don't u think?

Green Leather to Legs: O-kay...umm, so what is it?

Legs to Green Leather: I've something important 2 talk 2 u about.

Green Leather to Legs: Den how come u didn't mention it at da Inn?

Legs to Green Leather: It's u being at dat Inn dat I wanted 2 have this discussion.

Green Leather to Legs:

Legs to Green Leather: Specifically about how u were der wit my cousin...

Green Leather to Legs: Uh...I was afraid u were going to say dat.

Legs to Green Leather: ...my baby cousin.

Green Leather to Legs: Chloe's hardly a baby, Lois. She's 23 years old, u know.

Legs to Green Leather: Oh, Ollie, what would I do without u? Thank you so much for telling me. I wouldn't have known otherwise :p.

Green Leather to Legs: Sarcasm duly noted.

Legs to Green Leather: Well, let's get back on topic. Obviously, I can't stop Chloe from seeing u.

Green Leather to Legs: Thank God for little mercies.

Legs to Green Leather: BUT...I can tell u what's acceptable behavior in ur relationship ;):D!

Green Leather to Legs: Oh, God, please, no. Not dis.

Legs to Green Leather: Yes, dis :p.

Green Leather to Legs: Don't u have a boyfriend? Didn't 2night's escapade disrupt your "alone" time? Why aren't u busy making out wit him?

Legs to Green Leather: Don't try 2 change da subject!

Green Leather to Legs: Did he see ur Scottish outfit? Lol.

Legs to Green Leather: Oh, I bet u're hoping Chloe had one of those 2. I know how much u like costumes. So, don't laugh :p.

Green Leather to Legs: Hey, mine's 4 a noble purpose!

Legs to Green Leather: N don't think I didn't notice how Chloe had been wearing green leather jackets these days. I bet it was ur idea :.

Green Leather to Legs: What's wrong wit green leather? It's a good color ;).

Legs to Green Leather: Guess dat's why u wear green tights, huh?

Green Leather to Legs: They r NOT tights :!

Legs to Green Leather: They SO r. Lol.

Green Leather to Legs: Where da HELL is ur boyfriend? Why isn't he busy taking off whatever costume you've decided 2 seduce him wit?

Legs to Green Leather: Clark's driving.

Green Leather to Legs: Dat explains why u're free 2 bug me.

Legs to Green Leather: N dat brings us why I originally texted u.

Green Leather to Legs: Don't u dare!

Legs to Green Leather: Well, here r da rules for dating my baby cousin. No. 1, I know Chloe works in da R and D department in ur company, but no hanky-panky in da office.

Green Leather to Legs: Says da woman who sneaks into copy rooms 2 make out wit her boyfriend, who's HER co-worker.

Legs to Green Leather: No. 2, no staying out late at night, either in da office or on dates.

Green Leather to Legs: U even understand da concept of curfews? Did U ever follow them?

Legs to Green Leather: No. 3, no staying over at da Talon n no coaxing Chloe 2 stay over at ur place.

GreenLeathertoLegs: Which ONE of my place? I've quite a lot, u know ;).

LegstoGreenLeather: No. 4, and pay special attention - ALWAYS USE PROTECTION!

GreenLeathertoLegs: LOIS :!

LegstoGreenLeather:What? I'm telling u what everyone should remember when getting physically involved with someone: practice safe sex! Though, of course, I'd prefer it if you kept your "arrow" in your pants ;):lol:.

GreenLeathertoLegs:I bet u decided 2 annoy me just 2 embarrass me by saying dat.

LegstoGreenLeather:Nope ;). Though I didn't know Oliver Queen could feel embarrassed. I always thought he was shameless. LOL.

GreenLeathertoLegs: Hey!

LegstoGreenLeather: N finally, rule no.5 – NEVER EVER BREAK MY COUSIN'S HEART. U disobey dat rule, Queen, n I'd personally break ur neck...n no 1 would even suspect anything.

Green Leather to Legs:

Legs to Green Leather: Hey, did u get my last msg?

Green Leather to Legs: I take it u were irritating me 4 so long just 2 tell me dat?

Legs to Green Leather: YES :D!

Green Leather to Legs: First, Clark's warning me, now u. U 2 deserve each other :p.

Legs to Green Leather: Lol. Anyways, we r almost at da Talon. Talk 2 u later.

Green Leather to Legs: Let's not.

Legs to Green Leather: :p

Green Leather to Legs: Yeah, bye 2 u 2 ;).