This loosely follows some of the DA2 story line using the characters, locations and some backstories, but not strictly. I have rated this M for mature for blood, strong language and sexual content. All comments are welcome. Thank you!

As I lay dying


As I lie here gasping carefully, ignoring the metallic taste of blood in my mouth, I think to myself, how did I get here this time? I must admit that since I have reached Kirkwall, my life has never been the same as it was back in Ferelden. With a father and sister who were mage apostates, fugitives from the Chantry, I would have never categorized my life as ever being normal then either. But back then, I was surrounded by my family and before the Blight that destroyed my home in Lothering, I even considered myself happy.

As I lie here in a pool of my own blood, I wonder what keeps me here and I look at the faces that surround me. I know that I still have much left to do here. Only it is getting so hard for me to focus as my vision is beginning to fade...eyes so hard to keep open…

"Seelia…HAWKE, hold on!" I hear and jerk back awake, gasping and coughing out the blood I accidentally inhaled. "Damn you mage! Help her!"

I feel a gentle hand on my cheek and with effort I look up at the face that is closest to mine, to my Fenris and try so hard to concentrate on him. Seeing his look of utter despair makes me despise myself for ever having put it there. He had spent so long feeling angry and alone from the life he had escaped in Tevinter. I was so thankful to the Maker that once I helped him defeat Danarius, he changed and even began to look peaceful when we were together. He had lost everything when he received the lyrium tattoos from his former master and our time together had allowed him to finally remember who he was and even the family he left behind. I looked at him and saw that he could not bear to lose me or he would lose himself.

I watched as Isabela was restraining a distraught Merrill, holding the small elf's bleeding wrists, having bound her wounds with one of the scarves she favored. I vaguely recalled that she had used blood magic to try to save me, even as I was carried here as quickly as possible. Without her help, I may have died sooner, despite the consequences. She was trying to break free to help even though she was weak from the blood loss and could not break free from Isabela, still she tried in vain. I cannot recall the last time I had seen Isabela with such a grim look on her lovely face.

I looked to a kneeling Sebastian, who was praying to the Maker, covered in my blood. It was he who had carried me once I had finally collapsed after the fight with Ser Varnell and the religious fanatics that had kidnapped the delegates outside of the Keep. He had suggested I meet with Mother Petrice after the Viscount bade me to help bring peace between the people of Kirkwall and the Qunari who occupied a portion of the area down by the docks. I still did not trust her after being attacked the last time I had accepted a request from her involving the bound Saarebas Ketojan but could not come up with concrete evidence of her involvement. I felt that she could not be trusted but he was certain that since she was second to Grand Cleric Elthina, I should give her a chance to plead her case and help her in her mission. I should have trusted myself and walked away.

I knew she would betray me.

I turned and saw Varric sitting in a chair nearby, with his head in his hands. He had a look of disbelief at my being in the sorry state I was in. We had survived the Deep Roads together, fought darkspawn and even defeated a Rock Wrath, a creature thought to be only a legend. You lead me to strange places, Hawke, he would repeatedly tell me with a smile on his face but he followed me anyways. Without his help, I would never have had the opportunity to get my family out of my uncle's hovel in Lowtown. We had relied on each other for many things. But this was something even he could not help with.

I could hear Aveline pacing outside the Darktown clinic, hitting the walls and yelling out in frustration. I could see Donnic, her husband hold her as she fell to her knees, finally spent and saw that she was crying. It had been some time since I had seen her so upset. The last time was when she realized Wesley would not survive the taint. She had refused to believe he could survive so much but be brought down by something she could not fight. In the end, I offered to do what needed to be done to end his suffering and she refused. She did what needed to be done for him one final time.

Finally, I turned to the one person I thought I would never see tears from; the last time I had looked into those eyes, they were angry and full of disappointment before he walked away from me. Now Anders was using every bit of magic he possessed to try and save me. He refused to let me go. He refused to give up even when my heart had stopped and used an electrical spell to get it to beat again. I jerked up, gasping at the pain I felt when the jolt surge through my body. I could see that the strain was too much and soon he was at his limit. What surprised me most was that Fenris offered Anders the use of the lyrium that was embedded in his skin if it would help save me. I knew that to do so would cause him great pain and silently I prayed that Anders would refuse. But he did not and he began tapping into the lyrium that Fenris offered freely and once again I lost consciousness.