"I bought you a cake," Natsu said, and slid the box across the table towards her, "Because you are so wonderful. So amazing, and awesome, and Lucy-ish. And you deserve cake."

Lucy opened the box, examined her new cake, and used her Critical Reasoning Skills. "My God," she concluded, "You burned my house down."

"Er," Natsu countered.

"You imbecile. You unbelievably dense lummox. Have you no decency? Have you no appreciation for what is and is not your property? For what is and is not socially acceptable? Do you think this sort of thing can be forgotten with an apology? What am I going to do now, Natsu? Where will I live? How will I pay for repairs? What am I going to do about clothes, make-up, and other personal effects that I cannot think of right now? Why couldn't you blow up your own house? Why do you always have to do your stupid fire tricks in my bedroom? Why am I always the one to suffer for your mental deficiencies?"

Lucy, who had delivered this rant in a perfectly reasonable and subdued tone of voice, paused to study her terrified audience. Natsu tried for a shaky smile. And she exploded, "ARE YOU ACTUALLY MENTALLY RETARDED? HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME! HOW DARE YOU RUIN MY LIFE! YOU KNOW WHAT I SHOULD DO? I SHOULD BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!"

"I already did," Natsu jumped in, holding out his hands to ward off her attack. Lucy stopped cold, and stared at him disbelievingly.


"I thought maybe it would accelerate the process of your forgiveness."

"Right, okay," Lucy drew in a breath, "SO NOW WE'RE BOTH HOMELESS!"


Lucy picked up her cake and smashed it into Natsu's face.

He stared at her stonily, blinking chocolate icing out of the way. "Now we don't have any cake either."