Hedwig sat in the Owlery. She was bored. Harry hadn't been up to see her in quite some time, and this made her sad. She hadn't gone out flying in three days. That's how sad she was.
"Why don't you go catch some field-mice in the Quidditch pitch?" Her dear friend Erroll suggested.
She shook out her feathers, contemplating the idea. "Yes." She finally cooed. "Yes, I think I might go do just that."
"You want me to join you?" Erroll asked, always eager to follow the younger, attractive female wherever she might fly.
"No, no." She hooted quickly. "I think I'll just pop out for a few moments and be alone. Thank you, though." She quickly took off through one of the many openings the Owlery had to offer before Erroll could argue his point any further.
The brisk night air felt better than she had ever remembered it feeling. Even that summer when Harry's evil Uncle Vernon had made him padlock her in her cage and only let her out every once in a while. Well, She thought to herself, at least back then Harry hadn't been so preoccupied about all of this 'Death Eater' business. Who were those people, anywho? And why on earth were they eating death? Whoever they were, they certainly couldn't live too terribly long. What with Death being so high in cholesterol and saturated fats. Not to mention all of the high fructose corn syrup that was subtly slipped into the fine print.
A sudden whoosh went by Hedwig, and she was shaken out of her silent contemplation about Harry and his strange wizard problems. She hooted indignantly and looked about for the culprit, finally spotting the oddest, most beautiful looking red bird she had ever before laid eyes upon. "Hey red-feathers! Watch it! SOME birds are trying to fly out here, you know!"
The bird, that she now recognized as a dashing male swung around and began flying next to her. "My deepest and most sincere apologies, ma'am." He said in a surprisingly 18th Century classic way that made Hedwig swoon a bit.
If she wasn't covered in snowy feathers, she would have been blushing as crimson as his feathers. "Oh - it - it's okay." She finally stammered out, clearly flustered that such a handsome fellow was flying in such proximity to her. "So… what are you doing out here, anyway?" She asked, trying to make the situation a little less awkward.
"Flying." He replied with a sly look at the young bird next to him.
"Oh - yes… Flying. Of course." She replied awkwardly, looking around for a distraction from this strange bird.
He made a noise that sounded like a laugh, and she looked quickly over at him, startled again. She could have sworn that he was smiling. But that was impossible. Birds didn't smile. They had beaks. "No, no. I am terribly sorry. That was a rude reply of me. I was simply out to spread my wings and clear my head. There is always so much commotion in Dumbledore's office that I need to get out every once in a while."
"You're Dumbledore's bird?" Hedwig asked, taken aback. No wonder he's so good with words, she thought to herself.
He looked off into the distance. "Yes," he replied. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you that. Now you probably believe me to be some sort of a spoiled headmaster's pet. I would like to assure you, though I am not. My name is Fawkes, and I have been around far longer than Professor Dumbledore has. I was hatched many hundreds of years ago, even before Hogwarts was standing here. I have simply decided that I enjoy the company of Albus, and would like to stick around until his time here has ended."
"Hu - hundreds of years ago?" Hedwig balked. "Well that's impossible! That can't be! You look so young! So - so handsome!"
Fawkes made that same laugh-like sound and looked at Hedwig a bit sadly. "Yes. Hundreds of years. Please do not think any differently of me, though. I would hate for you to not believe me to be handsome. I have not heard that phrase used towards me from another bird in many, many years. And certainly never from an owl so magnificent as yourself. Tell, me, beautiful. What is your name?"
"Hedwig." She replied. "My name is Hedwig."
The two birds flew and talked for a few hours. Finally they took to sitting on one of the Quidditch goal posts.
"When was the last time you had a girlfriend?" Hedwig asked.
"The last time I was courting a young woman was many years ago, indeed. Nearly eighty by now, I would imagine."
"Nearly eighty years? Jeesh! It's been a while since you got laid!" Hedwig exclaimed.
Fawkes looked sadly down. "Yes. It certainly has been…."
Hedwig's young female owl hormones were going crazy now, she was wild with youthful ideas of having a one-night stand with such a beautiful man. "Well, we could…. ya' know…. only if you wanted to."
Fawkes looked up at her. "You really mean it?"
"Fuck yeah!" Hedwig hooted loudly. She cleared her throat, "I mean, yes. Certainly!"
~~~~~~TWO HOURS LATER~~~~~~
"Where have you been?" Erroll hooted as Hedwig flew into the Owlery. "I thought you had been murdered! or worse! Killed!"
Hedwig bucked at him. "I had shit to do!" She told him, then went to roost up near the roof. She tucked her head beneath a wing. She was exhausted - but happy. Perhaps she didn't need Harry to visit her so often after all.