A/N: So I know it's a bit too soon for Christmas stories, but I found his on one of my old flashdrives while trying to figure out exactly what I was smart enough to back up before my computer crashed. So…. Here you go :P
Disclaimer: I obviously own nothing. Sad, yes, but I've accepted it.
Any mistakes, sadly enough, are my own though. Sorry.
All I Want
"Today has been such an incredible day Moony," Sirius slurs drunkenly, leaning heavily against Remus for support.
Remus laughs as he looks down at his friend, an affectionate smile spreading across his scarred and freckled face. "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself Pads," he murmurs, pushing a lock of dark hair away from the other teenager's face. It's not something he should do, he knows. But he's so filled with love and affection that he just can't control himself.
Sirius giggles a little bit, though he'd deny it if anyone ever called him on it. "It was so much fun," he breathes, and buries his head in the hollow where Remus' long, pale neck meets his shoulder. He inhales deeply, not even trying to hide the fact that he's breathing Remus in, sniffing him, really, and Remus can't help but blush a little bit as Sirius makes a contented sound deep in the back of his throat. If Sirius' animagus form was not clearly a canon, then Remus would have sworn that he was purring.
"Did you get everything that you wanted for Christmas," Sirius asks, and he's so sleepily and drunkenly content that he's forcing Remus to carry most of his weight as the two boys make their way back to the Gryffindor Common room. James had wondered off somewhere with Lily after they all snuck back into the castle once they had returned from Hogsmeade for a last minute celebration of the holidays, and Peter was Merlin knows where, so it is left up to Remus to get this beautiful dark haired boy up stairs and into bed. It is a good thing that the castle is all but deserted around the holidays. And it's also a very good thing that Remus is not drunk, and that he prides himself on his will power, or else he would have turned his head, leant close, and nuzzled back into Sirius like he wishes to.
Remus stays silent for a moment, thinking of the question that Sirius had just asked him. He had gotten quite a few books and a nice, warm jumper from his parents for Christmas, which is all bloody marvelous. His old jumper has been falling apart at the seams, and no matter how many mending charms he uses on the thing, there is always some kind of hole or tear in the thick, woolen fabric. He's thankful that his mum went through the trouble of making him a new one. And she had used a nice golden brown fabric this time too. He is really looking forward to wearing it soon. And he has wanted to read each one of the books that his dad had picked out for him, so that was great too. And his mom had thrown in some chocolate biscuits for him to munch on as well, knowing how much he loves the treats. He had been very happy when he saw them. Then, later on in the day, he had gotten a journal from Lily, since the girl knows how much he needed to express himself and rid himself of all those overwhelming feelings that he keeps within him sometimes. James had gotten him a pranking kit from Zonko's, since, even as Head Boy, the messy haired teen never fails to get up to all sorts of mischief. And Peter had gotten him a large box of Honeydukes' finest, since the boy had eaten the last of his previous supply. But still…. even after getting all of these gifts, Remus didn't get what he truly wanted. Because even though Sirius had gotten him an adorable little stuffed black dog that held a tiny card board sign between his paws, saying 'I'd do anything for you,' it hadn't been what he truly had wanted from the older boy. What he wanted, what he still so desperately wants, is something that he knows that he'll never, ever get. Not even in his wildest dreams. And it still seems kind of ironic to Remus that Sirius had given him a small little replica of himself when Remus wants the real thing.
"Remus," Sirius asks, sounding concerned now. It's obvious that it's not the first time that he 's called Remus' name. "Are you alright?"
Remus tries not to shiver as he feels Sirius' warm breath flutter out against the bear skin of his neck. "I'm fine Pads," he says quietly, and he instantly feels bad for lying.
Sirius huffs softly in amused concern. "Liar," he murmurs, and now Remus can feel the older boy's lips moving against his skin as he speaks. When had the pureblood gotten so close? Why was he torturing Remus this way?
"I'm fine Pads," Remus says firmly, hoping that maybe…. just maybe, if he says it enough, he'll believe it himself. "I'm just a bit tired, I suppose. It's been a long and eventful day." He notices with no small amount of relief that they have finally arrived outside of the Gryffindor Common Room. He moves to stand in front of a very drunk and cheerful Fat Lady, and smiles.
"Hello lads," the Fat Lady slurs, swaying on her feet as she stands before them in her picture frame. "Did you both enjoy the holidays?"
"Yes," Remus says, grinning slightly. "We both did. Very much so, dear lady."
"Oh," she cried, smiling with glee. "I know that look! So you've finally told that handsome fellow of yours how you pine for him, haven't you? Oh, how wonderful young love is! What a wondrous Yule time gift it is to experience it! Whenever I look at the two of you I can just see the love shinning off of you. It's so wonderful, really. I'm so happy for you two!"
Remus feels his face drain of all color as the Fat Lady continues to ramble on about things like love and beauty and joy. He's not hearing any of it though. Instead he's panicking, ready to stammer out some excuse, or to pull out his wand and cast some spell, any spell that can erase the damage that has been caused. When he looks over at Sirius though… Sirius looks… almost calm, surreally so, which… doesn't make sense. Sirius should be backing away in disgust, or pulling out his wand and threatening to hex Remus. At the very least, he should coldly be telling Remus that he wants nothing more to do with him. Instead, he's clearing his throat, catching the Fat Lady's attention, and after saying the password, he grabs Remus' arm and drags him inside of the Portrait Hole.
"Sirius," Remus says, terror evident in his voice. He's sure that he's about to be killed, or heartbroken, and he's not sure which one is worse, death or heartache. He believes that he will die anyways if Sirius breaks his heart, so perhaps it does not truly matter. "I can explain."
"Damn right you can," Sirius growls out, and he turns to face Remus as they stumble into the Common Room. "What the fuck Moony?"
"I… I… it's not like I wanted this," Remus stammers. "I just… I couldn't… I can't help it. I can't control how I feel."
Sirius looks confused for a moment, as if the script that Remus is following for this conversation does not match the script that Sirius has, thus leaving him clueless on what to say next. After a moment though, Sirius smiles, and it's so brilliantly, devastatingly beautiful that it takes Remus' breath away. "That's not what I meant," Sirius says, and suddenly Remus finds his back pressed against the now closed entrance to the Portrait Hole.
Sirius leans in, breath fanning across Remus face, and meets Remus' startled gaze. "You should have said something to me sooner," Sirius says, completely serious (and no pun intended).
"I…" Remus looks up at his friend, confusion written across his features, his heart pounding against his ribcage in a way that was beginning to feel like excitement. "What?"
Sirius' grin softens a bit, and he leans forward, nuzzling Remus' cheek with his nose. "You daft, daft booger." There's a great deal of amused affection present in his voice. "All you had to do was say something. I would have gladly told you that I felt the same."
"I…" Remus makes a soft sound of pleasure as Sirius' lips graze across his cheekbone. "You do?"
Sirius brushes the hair out of Remus' face in a surprisingly gentle gesture. "I do," he murmurs, completely Sirius, before he leans forward to bestow Remus with a soft, rather sweet kiss.
He sighs softly and kisses Sirius back, soft and slightly wet, with just a hint of the eagerness that's all but overwhelming him.
And that…. Exactly that… is what Remus wanted for Christmas.
A/N: They are just so incredibly adorable and beautiful, aren't they? Anyways….. really hoping I can get my laptop fixed soon so that I can get back to writing regularly.