When video games talk back….

Inspired the crappy AI on Naruto shippuden Kizuna drive

- Naruto Kizuna drive-

What the fuck?

I stared at my PsP as the blue 'mission failed' screen appeared as my team got thrashed by the fake one-tail.


"What the hell is wrong with you all you're freaking ninja and all you do is run around like lame-ass background characters…stupid Neji Jounin my arse..." I muttered as I selected yes to retry the fight again.

The battle restarted and as Naruto I ran to Shukaku's left hand as he fired off an air bullet.

"Let's go!" Naruto yelled enthusiastically as I moved him and began striking the demons left hand, moved a few steps back and followed the creature as it shifted to the left, and slammed its right hand on the ground.

Completely missing me as I was its left side..while Neji, Lee and Hinata just ran around, attacking the beast at all the wrong moments….like just now when Neji went to use gentle fist on its body only to be knocked back as its right hand came crashing down on him.

All the while I had Naruto positioned on its left side ready to attack its left hand.

"Morons…" I muttered again.

"Well then what you do?" came Neji's voice along with the text of is words at the bottom of the screen.

Seriously are these guys blind, I'm the demons left side and I've hardly taken damage…

I frowned as lee got knocked aside with an air bullet.

"Hey lady if you got a problem with how we work then tell us would ya" Naruto said.

"Okkaayy I've been through half of this fight over a dozen times and I know every piece of dialogue...Is this thing glitching on me?"

"Yeah we know how times we've got our butts kicked by the Shukaku thanks" Naruto grumbled.

Now it was getting weird.

"this is like that episode of Doctor Who were the girl talks to the TV and the Doctor responds back I think it was called 'blink'" I mused, considering it was similar…Like the ninja actually heard me.

"Doctor Wha?" Naruto replied

"It sounds you can hear me..."

"That's because I can hear you"

That was when Hinata got KO'd by Shukaku's tail as she tried to attack from behind.

My nose twitched in frustration.

I ignored the fact that they could hear me and went back to the fight and kept on attacking the left hand as Lee got sent flying back by another hand slam…..I ignored Neji as he just ran around aimlessly, and was hit by an air bullet..I tried to ignore Lee as he got in my while I was trying to attack the monster raccoon, resulting in both of us getting knocked back by another hand slam.

I am a huge Naruto fan…but this AI is really starting to bug me.

I watched Neji got in my way and we both got attacked, causing a KO for Neji and my health to get dangerously low.

It was the last straw when lee did nothing and got knocked out.

As soon as I restarted the fight I began my gamers rant.

"Are you serious? You call yourselves Shinobi, Tobi from the Akatsuki could do better job than you! Hell even a genin could do a better job, his attack pattern is so obvious you would have to be blind to not notice it, I noticed and I'm vision impaired!"

"As I stated earlier what would you do?" Neji snapped.

Cue face palm.

"Obviously I'd attack from the left because he only attacks close range with his right hand and uses the air bullet for long range and it's pretty easy to dodge...Honestly Neji you call yourself a ninja." I replied.

So the fight restarted the attacks continued from the sand raccoon in an obvious fashion and 15 minutes later I finally beat the damn thing.

This victory was followed by me giving the four ninja a lecture on their retarded actions as AI...yeah they didn't know a civilian could use such creative insults without swearing.