Vita happily sat down at the computer. She was a girl on a mission. Hayate-chan had enjoyed their little adventure with fanfic, and asked her to find more to make fun of. A target soon presented itself, a crossover by left4dead321, between Lucky Star and Assassin's Creed.
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense, Vita thought to herself.
Here it goes...
It was mid day and I was wondering the roof tops of japan you see I'm a assassin my job is to stop the Templar and anybody who works for them,
Okay, so it's first person. And awful. How the hell do you wonder rooftops? Wait, these are "roof tops", nevermind.
My name is Anthony and the reason why I'm in japan is because the Templar has moved here from fear of my brothers so that is why I'm here in this jungle of buildings.
Was this written by a hyperactive chipmunk?
"Ah it's been what a month since any activity where the hell did they go?" Anthony asked walking on top of the building.
Wait, so now it's in third person? And this guy is just yelling to himself?
"Some one please help!" A girl yelled from the alley as a group of men surrounded her."Don't worry little girl do what we say and we won't hurt you!" One out of five of the men said as he pulled out a small knife.
"We'll only rape you, which totally isn't hurting! Nope, not at all!"
"What a coward I'll make sure these fowl bastards learn from their wrong doings!" Anthony silently yelled as he jumped from the roof top and land in front of the men.
And the assassin faces his deadliest foes yet: chickens. While breaking his vocal cords by yelling silently.
"Who the hell is this stiff?" One of the ass holes asked unable to see my face just my devil like grin.
Wait, now it's in first person again?
"Leave this poor girl alone now or die your choice really cause I have no problem in ending it with a blade." Anthony said as one of the men who was holding a pipe walked up to him.
And now it's in third person! And everyone speaks in run-on sentences!
"You think your tough huh well take this!" The man yelled as he tried to hit Anthony with the pipe but missed completely. Anthony took his new advantage and stabbed the man with one of the hidden blades the other men were scared but didn't back down as one of them pulled out a sword.
The hidden blades that the author never mentioned this Anthony guy had. And street gangs always have swords.
"Oh my god guys he killed Keith!" One of the men yelled obviously pissed at the assassin.
"Keith"? Isn't this supposed to take place in Japan?
"You bastard!" Another yelled as he charged in with a small knife trying to get at least some blood out of the assassin.
"Send in the guy with the butter knife! No, no, sword guy, you stay back, he'll be fine."
"You guys shouldn't try to hurt a girl especially with weapons it pisses me off!"
"If you were just trying to beat the crap out of her with your bare hands, I'd just be kinda ticked off. But weapons are really serious!"
Anthony said as the charging man tripped and fell to the floor.
What a clumsy idiot.
The hidden blade went through the man's skull as if it was paper while another man ran towards Anthony but was killed the second he got close to the young assassin.
That's what you get when you're tripping as you run up to the guy. Sure, he's a clumsy idiot too, but you're all clumsier idiots.
The purple haired girl was afraid of the assassin as he got out of his crotch position
I don't want to know.
waiting for the last two men to make their move."Is he going to kill me, or will he try to rape me what is he going to do after they're dead?" The short purple haired girl thought before crying out of fear.
Considering he was just in a "crotch position" I don't have high hopes for you.
"Die dammit die!" The man with the sword said as he tried to strike the assassin."Nope I don't think so!" Anthony yelled back before stabbing the man in his stomach."Uhhhh look maybe we can talk about this I don't want any trouble please let me be!" The pedophile pleaded as he slowly went into the fetal position.
I don't understand what's going on. So now he's a pedophile, even though you never said what age this girl was, and apparently stabbing him just made him go into a fetal position?
Anthony grabbed the scared man by the neck and lifted him up from the ground."Now listen you piece of shit if you ever try to rape a girl again I'll hunt you down like the dog you, and kill you now get the hell out of here!" Anthony yelled as he threw the man to the ground. Anthony turned to the crying girl and walked towards her."Are you okay miss?" Anthony asked as the girl looked at him with tears in her eyes."I think so." The small girl said as Anthony put a finger on her chin forcing her to look at his hood."Go home before any thing else happens okay." Anthony said before kissing her lips.
So you go on about these guys being pedophiles, and thne you kiss this girl who they were trying to rape on the lips... I'm not the only one who sees a problem with this, right?
"Okay I will." She said blushing before Anthony climbed away.
"Well my jobs done I guess I should head home or at least the closest place I could call home." Anthony thought as he walked towards his home. It took a hour or two for the young assassin to find his house since this place was a freaking jungle to him.
Except it wasn't a jungle, it was a city.
"Finally I'm back man what the hell were they thinking sending me alone?" Anthony said as he entered his house he noticed a pigeon with a letter.
As idiots are inclined to do.
"What's this then?" Anthony asked as the letter dropped to the ground, The curious assassin picked it up and started to read the fine written letter.
Dear Anthony we sent you to japan alone so you could make some friends ever since we adopted you into the creed you always distant yourself from kids your age as much as it pains me to say it you are ordered to stay in japan, and live a normal life I know we sent you on a mission to stop the Templar but when it's over with stay there you're too young to live the life of a assassin. No matter how good you are we believe that this is the best for you, and you'll be attending a high school called Ryou high school I believe once there you can't wear your assassins outfit, or have any weapons. We'll miss you very much and I hope you find happiness there sincerely Ezio Auditore.
So he's high school aged? It might've been nice to clear that up before you got into this stupid fic. Wait, Ezio Auditore? But... he'd be dead by the time all this happened!
Anthony didn't know what to say, or even think he fell to the floor and sobbed a bit he always been in the Creed for sixteen loyal years, When he was a baby his parents were killed by the Templar agents the assassins were to late to save his parents but they did save him.
Assuming he's sixteen years old, he's saying he's been an assassin since he was a baby. I don't think it works that way.
"I guess I should take this old thing off then." Anthony thought removing his assassin outfit and changed into more modern clothes."Good bye assassin clothes I'll miss the days when I was truly a assassin." Anthony said before looking into a mirror.
"Wow I look different without the assassin's clothes on." Anthony thought as he looked at his new wear a dark black shirt, blue jeans, and black and white skate shoes.
How did you not know you looked different without a hood on? Dumbass.
Anthony was amazed on how his own physical appearance he use to be 4, 5 now he's 5, 9,
Hmph. Vita folded her arms in annoyance.
his hair use to be light blue but now it was a dark midnight blue, his eyes didn't change though they remained a emerald green, and a sea blue." I really changed did I?" Anthony thought as he put gel in his hair and made his hair spiky.
HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW WHAT YOU LOOKED LIKE?
"My double hidden blades...I have to take them off." Anthony sighed they never left him the moment he equipped them so it was heart breaking when he took them off, after his painful sacrifice his wrist was pale white possibly from the many years he held onto the stealthy weapons.
Because you couldn't possibly put them back on, no, they have to stay off forever.
The ex assassin went to sleep he had two more days before he had to go to school and start his normal life.
That was awful! What kind of idiot wrote this crap! At least it wasn't like that last story...