Ugh, that first chapter was bad enough. But this is for Hayate, so I'll try the next oneā€¦

Anthony woke up from the sounds of the pigeon chirping.

He then realized he was dreaming, since pigeons don't chirp.

"Uh your still here bird why don't you leave?" Anthony asked as he softly rubbed the bird's neck.

"That's simple, Anthony. I'm here to kill you."

The bird flew to the bookshelf and looked at the young assassin with loving eyes."You don't want to leave don't you?"

Why anyone would want to be around this guy is beyond me.

Anthony asked as the bird flew and landed on his shoulder."You can stay here...I think I'll call you Aria like it?" Anthony asked as the bird chirped happily.

The pigeon understands... Whatever language this is meant to be in. I read it all in Japanese since this is on Hayate-chan's computer.

"Well I'm going out so you could have some exercise!" Anthony said as he left his house while his new bird alley flew away.

Far, far away, never to return again.

"Where do I begin...this city is so huge it's just like Rome!"

Kasukabe=Indistinguishable from Rome.

Anthony thought as he saw the hotel."Well I might as well map the area." Anthony said as he started to walk towards the building. Anthony started to climb the huge building it took him at least thirty long minutes before he finally reached the top.

In the time it took for him to climb the hotel, the authorities were called and he was taken to the nearby police station.

"Ah god damn that was annoying huh?" Anthony asked as he noticed a Templar guarding the roof

Templars are known for guarding random rooftops.

so he ducked behind some sort of machinery.

The technology was so mystifying not even the author could describe it.

"Damn damn damn the one moment I don't have my blades!" Anthony thought as he looked at the Templar. Anthony charged at the unexpected Templar and pushed him off the building.

What a thrilling fight!

"Well that was easy ahhh I'm so freaking tired maybe I should rest for a...bit." Anthony said before he fell asleep while his pet Aria took her post on the ledge.

Did he just fall asleep on the rooftop?

Hours later Anthony woke up from Aria's chirping."Oh man it's late girl why didn't you wake me up earlier?" Anthony asked before noticing a crying purple haired girl who was in the fetal position,

Since most people go up to the rooftop to cry.

Anthony decided to put on a quick disguise before approaching her.

Since he didn't say what kind of disguise it was, I'm just going to assume he put on huge glasses and a fake mustache.

"Excuse me miss what's wrong?" Anthony asked walking towards the crying girl."Nothing it's just this guy wanted me to meet him alone so I though it was a confession but all he wanted was a damn doll!" The crying girl yelled while crying.

Wait, this is supposed to be Hiiragi Kagami? That brilliant description and perfectly in-character behavior of crying in a fetal position over something she was more ticked off about then anything really clued me in to her identity.

"Hey it's okay guys are probably fighting over you right now...but they have to wait in line." Anthony said kissing her on her lips.

And Anthony once again demonstrates his rape-y tendencies. I'm surprised he didn't get into a crotch position first.

"Well you better get inside it's going to rain soon." Anthony said as the blushing girl walked towards the entrance/exit of the hotel.

Meanwhile, Kagami went to contact the police.

"Come on Aria we should leave too." Anthony said as he walked near the ledge.

And then fell to his death, ending this terrible excuse for a fanfic.

It took some time but Anthony found a truck at the bottom of the hotel with pillows in the back.

Because there're always open-backed trucks with pillows just lying around the city.

"Aria wish me luck!"

"No."

Anthony said before he jumped for the truck, nearly missing the truck Anthony got up and started walking home.

"Aria come!, I need your assistance!" Anthony said as the bird landed on the ground near him and cocked her head."Can you find my house I can't find it?" Anthony asked before the bird flew in the air, Then in less than five minutes chirping happily.

Five minutes is known to chirp happily.

"Which way huh which way girl?" Anthony asked as the bird flew in the direction of the house.

GENIUS PIGEON!

Aria flew around a few blocks before she stopped at the house."Good girl Aria come on let's get in before it starts to rain."

How do you know it's going to rain?

Anthony said as the two entered the house, It was late so Anthony decided to go to sleep.

Didn't this idiot just sleep for several hours on the roof? Does he have narcolepsy or something?

It was morning once again just like yesterday Anthony woke up to a angry chirping."Ahhh what is it Aria?" Anthony asked as he notice his feather friend chirping angrily at someone outside.

The person outside proceeded to snap the pigeon's neck, since it was a pain in the ass.

"Oh Aria...Aria...Lassie it's just a mail man knock it off!"

What.

Anthony said as he opened the door." Hello is this Mr. Diamante's house hold?" The mail man asked."Yeah that's me what do you want?" Anthony asked ready to attack if needed."Well I need you to sign this for your new school uniform."

Wouldn't they be asking for this kid's parents?

The man said as he showed Anthony the paper."Alright we have to wear uniforms...just great." Anthony said as he signed the paper and receive the uniform.

You were in Japan and you didn't know that people needed to wear uniforms in high school? Idiot.

Anthony placed the uniform in a drawer so he could wear it tomorrow.

As opposed to trying it on to make sure it was the right size.

"Well Aria I'm going to check out my school do you want to come?" Anthony asked before the bird landed on his shoulder."I'm guessing that's a yes." Anthony said before they left.

Seven, or eight blocks away

Not even the author is sure.

Anthony got to his new school and eyed it."What do you think Aria does it look good?"

Clearly the pigeon is the best person to ask in this situation.

Anthony asked the bird before it flew away."Hey wait Aria...why does everyone I love leave me?" Anthony asked as the bird flew off.

Because they hate you.

Anthony frowned he was alone again. "I should look inside I have nothing else to do." Anthony thought as he walked inside.

"I should just break into my school."

Anthony walked through the halls of Ryou high school.

Wait, wait, I just realized. If he was talking to Kagami after that doll part, shouldn't they be in Kyoto? So...how the hell did he get to Ryoo from there?

"Excuse me who are you?" A blonde woman asked as she walked out of a room."Oh I'm a transfer student, and I was just looking around my new school." Anthony said as the teacher's face brighten up."Well you made my job easier my name is Nanako Kuroi...let me see what is your name again?" Nanako Kuroi asked as she pulled out a list of students."Anthony Diamante."

"I'm sorry, but Diamante isn't a real surname."

Anthony said as Ms. Kuroi smiled a bit."Well your in my class it's the one I just came out of." Nanako said pointing to her room."Oh okay thanks what about my other classes?" Anthony asked as Ms. Kuroi smiled."Well your in my first period class, and then you have music class for second period, Next would be art for third, Then you have me again before, and after lunch, Math for sixth, Science for seventh, and finally P, E last."

Because Kuroi-sensei would immediately know his school schedule.

Ms. Kuroi said as a bird landed on Anthony's head.

"Oh okay thanks...Hey Aria where did you go?" Anthony asked as Ms. Kuroi looked at him shocked. "Um you do realize that's a pigeon right?" Ms. Kuroi asked as she stepped back a bit."Yeah I know but Aria is all I have now so I'm not complaining." Anthony said as the bird landed on his shoulder. "Oh well Anthony if you need a place to stay I'll be happy to let you stay."

Why would you let this guy into your house?

Ms. Kuroi said feeling bad for the young boy."Nah it's fine I think I should head home now." Anthony said before leaving.

Anthony got back to his house it was almost eight but he felt sleepy so he went to bed early ready fro his new life.

Narcolepsy!

Diamante I believe is diamond in Italian I looked at Google translate and that's what it said so yeah Aria is air in Italian as well I used Google search.

I'm going to assume this is part of the story, since there's no indication it's not. Well, that was awful, but it wasn't as bad as the last chapter. Maybe he's improving? Wait, no, he's not.