"Harry Potter. Charged with one count murder, of the person Cedric Michael Diggory. How do you plead?" Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic sneered.
"Does it really matter, Fudge? You've already stacked the deck in your favor anyway, so does it really matter what I say?" Harry replied just as sarcastically. "Speaking of stacked deck, Minister, why do I not have legal representation? Where are the witnesses I asked for? Surely you follow your own laws?"
"We have no time…" Fudge began, but was cut off by Harry.
"Of course you don't. You don't want to be seen as the incompetent twit that you are. Of course, had you even thought about using veritiserum, you might know exactly what happened. Or maybe a vow on my life or magic? No, that would just be too simple for you. I could give you all the gory details of Cedric's death, but that's not what you want to hear, now is it? You want to hear how everything is just fine and dandy, and for some reason you want me out of your way. Well Fudge, I'm going to give you what you want. I'm going to leave the British Isles, on the condition that no one from Britain ever bothers me again. I will have a written oath, on the lives of every British Citizen that no one will ever bother me again. I will take whatever finances I have, and leave these shores forever."
"You want to leave Britain?" Fudge asked.
"What the fuck has Britain ever done for me? Hail me a savior one minute, a rising Dark Lord the next, back to being savior, a liar and cheat, and now, you have these simple minded baffoons believing I'm a delusional liar, when in fact, you don't have the balls to face the truth? No. England has no love from me. So, you want the truth about Diggory, but you don't have the tetsticles to hear the truth!"
"I want the truth!" Amelia Bones snapped.
"You can't handle the truth!" Harry snapped back. "Ma'am, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by individuals with wands and the ability to obiviate. Who's going to do it? You, Fudge? A man so incompetent that he can't even hide the bribes he's been getting from Lucius Malfoy without screwing that up. You, Percy Weasley, who has his head so far up the Minister's ass that he can't see properly. Unfortunately, I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Diggory, yet you curse the person who tried to save him. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Diggory's death, while tragic, probably saved many more lives than I care to count. I got away. And my existence, while grotesque to those idiots with the funky tattoo, will probably cost more lives given the fact that Voldemort…" gasps were heard from everyone in the c0urtroom.
"yes yes.. I thought we'd…" Fudge began to interrupt.
"Shut the fuck up, Fudge. As I was saying, you don't want the truth, because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you need me to protect those walls. You WANT me on those walls… mainly because that scaly faced bastard failed to kill me fourteen years ago. I use words like Honor, code, loyalty. I use these words as the backbone of a short life spent defending myself and my classmates. You see them as a punchline, and a way to control your inbred way of life. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a bunch of inbred, cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit group that you people are. I am Harry Potter. Lord of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Potter. Not some simple minded child that you think I am, Fudge."
"Mister Potter!" Bones shouted.
"Don't even bother, Bones. I have no respect for a woman who allows a corrupt ministry to run ramp-shot over them. After all, a full trial for a case of underage magic? You do realize, Fudge, that by bringing in the FULL WIZENGAMOT, and trying me as an adult, you pretty much fucked up your own case. A trial for an adult, pretty much makes a case of underage magic moot. As for magic in front of a muggle not-in the know… check your facts you inbred idiot. The magic was performed in front of Dudley Dursley, my cousin, whom I've lived with since I was one. One thing left to say. Your move, Bitch."
"Mister Potter." Bones began.
"Until you use my correct title, Bones, you are being ignored." Harry snapped.
"You offer no proof…" Bones began. She was interrupted once again.
"What proof do I need? The ring that's on my finger? Or the fact that I am the sole remaining Potter? I should think that is the most obvious thing in the world. After all, it's well known that I am an orphan. It's nice to know that the people in charge of your Government break your own laws."
"What are you talking about, Lord Potter?" An elderly witch asked. Harry turned to the elderly lady, and was surprised to see Madame Longbottom questioning him.
"Why, the fact that your Chief Warlock violated several laws and illegally sealed my parents wills, forcing his will upon unsuspecting muggles, of course. The goblins have all the paperwork necessary to charge him with failure to execute a proper will, attempted line theft, theft of gold, and a few other charges that they can find. Withholding the rightful heir of the Potter House of his inheritance for one." Many of the Wizengamot paled at that. It was one of the few cessations that the Goblins won. The right to try anyone for theft if there was sufficient proof. "Albus Dumbledore was never my magical guardian, as that fell to my godfather and godmother. Since my godfather was illegally imprisoned…"
"There is no one in the prison system illegally, Lord Potter!" Amelia Bones shouted.
"While that is probably true now, it wasn't two years ago when Sirius Black was there." Harry responded. "I know the minister has a tendency to send people to Azkaban without a trial, but this particular miscarriage wasn't his fault."
"Sirius Black murdered Peter Pettigrew and thirteen muggles!" A toad-like witch sneered.
"Did he? Where's your proof?" Harry sneered back. "When was his trial, as his right as Head of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black?" More Wizengamot members paled. "You see, you fools made a big mistake. You kicked Dumbledore out of the ICW. When that happened, not three days later as Lord Potter, I sent a request for trial for Sirius Black. He turned himself in to ICW officials and they have cleared him. Barty Crouch Sr., however was tried posthumously for denying basic rights, and found guilty. The Crouch estate now belongs to the Black Family. A Death Eater Spy in the ICW testified that Pettigrew is alive. It's a wonder Britain Magical Community survived this long with such incompetent people in charge."
"Lord Potter… you offer no proof of what you say." Bones stated. Her feathers were ruffled at being lumped in with everyone.
"Madame Bones, did you bother asking me for proof? Or did you just assume, like a weak minded pureblood, that I had none? I can produce the official ICW findings, court rulings, and also pensieve memories backed by a vow on life and magic. What can you offer? Nothing. You have no trial transcripts because Crouch threw him in prison. Most likely on Dumbledore's orders, because he didn't want Sirius raising me. But the biggest proof of all is that Sirius Black is my magical godfather. And your attempt to harm me, Madame Bones, is failing. You're probably too angry to notice that you're having chest pains. You are, after all, my godmother. But I'm willing to wager you don't remember that thanks to Dumbledore. In my parents wills, you were listed second as guardian after Sirius. But since Dumbledore ignored the wishes of my parents, the Goblins feel that I have suffered enough and emancipated me."
"Lord Potter, I did not know." Bones replied.
"Of course you didn't. Dumbledore probably oblivated you. He likes doing that. He's already tried to obilviate me hundreds of times, Neville Longbottom a few times, and some of my other friends. The Goblins were pretty helpful with that." Harry mused.
"Aurors will need to arrest Dumbledore…" One wizengamot member suggested.
"Oh, that won't be necessary. You see, I am a strong believer in the muggle saying, 'an eye for an eye'. The goblins see it that way too. I highly doubt Dumbledore will remember anything he did to us. He's been obliviated so much that he thinks he's a five year old." Harry smirked. "And all his toys have been taken away. Now, since I've nicely deflated all of your charges, I'm leaving."
"We haven't finished, Lord Potter. You are still charged with the Murder of Diggory." Fudge finally snapped out of the stupor he was in.
"Sorry, but the ICW also cleared me. I do have to get back to their courtroom, so that I don't get caught up in the bombing raids they are planning." With that, Harry apparated out of the courtroom to a bunch of confused Purebloods.
Then again… everyone knows Pureboods aren't too bright.