This is an Alternate Universe. These characters are GOING to be DIFFERENT from their cannon selves, though I will try to keep them as close to their origional selves as I can. This series is set around the time Gaz would be 16 and Dib would be 17.
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or the settings in which they appear.
Crazy Zim. That's what they all called him when they thought he couldn't hear them. It was outrageous, he wasn't insane he was a genius. Why couldn't they see that?
"Frycook Zim..." the tallest in red began
"Just Zim if you don't mind." he huffed indignantly.
"Under normal traditions you would be placed in a much higher position. You measure at five point seventy five vertical units. Almost as tall as we, THE TALLEST, at a whopping SIX vertical units."
Zim smirked at the irkens leaning on the railings of the court room. The short little insects were glaring at him with envy. There were only two irkens (besides the tallests) who were almost as tall as him. One was Zim's friend Skoodge and the other was some irken female.
Skoodge was a little wide but not grotesquely so. He refused to wear any of the uniforms that the tallest instructed him to. He preferred to make his own clothes. Chains hung off of the baggy pants he wore. He'd sown twelve pockets onto the pants for easy access to multiple instruments. His shirt was not red or purple or pink. It was black, devoid of color, only he and Zim knew why he wore it.
The female was dressed in the standard invader uniform even though everyone knew she had never offically become one. She had attempted to maul Zim for this fact many times under some skewed logic. She claimed that he had been the sole cause of "The Incident" even though he'd calmly explained to her many times that he had fallen asleep in the middle of the sidewalk that day. It was only coincidence that he ended up inside of the mech. Wasn't it?
The purple clothed tallest turned to Skoodge and the female. "And you two. Tak you haven't gone through the Invader registration but you constantly stow away on missions. And Skoodge...you're just really really weird. Seriously what's up with the black?"
"Purple you're getting off topic." Red hissed to his fellow ruler before addressing the three of them once again. "Zim you destroyed half of our planet and ruined Impeding Doom I..."
"Zim you were seen piloting the mech that destroyed the city."
"That could have been any old irken."
"You were screaming 'I am ZIM!' the entire time."
"Obviously I was framed."
Red just stared at him for several second before continuing. "We have let the three of you slide for FAR too long. But this, this is the last straw." He pointed down at the box in front of him. Red's claws ripped the lid off of the top and displayed the contents to the entire court room. "I specifically ordered half glazed donuts and half chocalate glazed!" The irkens surrounding the three gasped as the tallest displayed a box filled with nothing but glazed donuts.
"The chocolate ones are disgusting. The regular glazed are much better." Zim said.
"Zim's right, the chocolate ones are nasty." Skoodge backed his friend up.
Tak stared at both of them and then up at the tallest. "My tallest I only drove the truck I swear I had no idea that these two morons tampered with the order."
"SILENCE! This has gone on for far too long. You three shall be exiled to the farthest reaches of the universe so as not to disturb Impending Doom II." Tallest Red turned to the map behind him and found the planet farthest from their operation. It was a small blue and green planet on the outskirts of the known universe. He jabbed his finger into the map so hard that it tore the fabric. "HERE! We're going to send you here, but to show you that we are merciful we'll allow you each to take a SIR unit from our excess storage."
The tallests led the three along down the corridor to door marked "defective equpment". Zim wasn't paying attention to the sign as he rushed eagerly through the door and into the room, Tak didn't notice the sign because she wanted to try and get the best SIR possible before anyone else. Skoodge never finished learning the irken language and so could not read the sign.
The room was filled with roughly twenty piles of scrapped tech. If something got busted it was sent here. Be it an exploded casing or a missing battery it was all the same to the tallest who didn't see the point in repairing anything they could just make more of.
Tak was scouring one particullarly large heap of SIRs when she suddenly noticed something strange. The SIRs were all in one type of disrepair or another. And beyond that none of them seemed to have any upgrades whatsoever. As she this last thought entered her mind a gleam caught her eye and she noticed a MKIII Slicing Claw Arm sticking out of the pile she ran to the shining blades. She yanked the bot out of the pile and began to examine it. A second generation holographic disguise was built into the SIR. The blades of the claws were intact and it had a built in face shield. She popped the top to examine the it's neural unit. 'Amazing' Tak thought to herself 'it's hardly damaged at all. There are a few fuses that need replacing but other than that it's in great shape. She hefted the SIR onto her back and began to march to were the tallests waited. She couldn't wait to rub this in Zim's face.
Zim and Skoodge were both searching for SIR units together. They passed up one with a blown out vision module and another with a busted vocal unit. As soon as they were out of the tallests' sight Zim turneed to Skoodge. "Alright while we're in here let's try and grab anything that may be of use. This new planet sounds like a hole in the ground and I doubt we'll come across the technology that we are used to. I don't care if it's a busted up thruster or an particularly well built hollogram that's missing a wire just grab it."
"Why don't the tallest just fix this stuff? It would save more monies and free up alot of space."
"Because they're morons."
"I wonder why I keep forgeting that."
"No matter let's split up. See if you can't smuggle things inside of the empty spaces of your SIR. OOO a breeding tube they always have spare wires."
Skoodge sighed as he walked away from his friend. Zim was a well known psychopath. Skoodge had met him one day while they were in basic training. It was a requirement for all Irkens to pass basic training. Basic training consisted of Irken History, Science and Technology of the galaxy, Physical Fitness, and Mathematics.
Skoodge hated this education much preferring literature and art to anything else, he often obtained literary works and drawing supplies from local boot-legers. For whatever reason Skooge was able to read almost any language that wasn't irken.
He sat in the back of class next to Zim. Zim would help Skoodge cheat on all of his tests and the two eventually became very close. That being said Skoodge knew that Zim was a bit off kilter. Occasionaly Zim would black out and go into a frenzy. Strangely enough he remembered nothing of any of the events which took place during these episodes, although he WAS able to remember who his friends were in any state.
Skoodge dug through a nearby pile of rubbish and found what he was looking for. The SIR unit was a metric unit shorter than any of the normal units but beyond that may as well have been brand new. Now that his SIR was collected he just needed to find some spare parts. Searching nearby he found an atomizer with a missing bulb and spare sheets of metal. Using the hollow space of his SIR's legs and chest he quickly hid these finds along with a set of tools that was only missing one of the wrenches. Satisfied he began his trek back to the tallests, and his new future.
Zim was coming along perfectly he had found enough spare parts to build a plasma core from scratch and had more than a few weapons and wires to go with them. He found a SIR unit that appeared to be almost completely empty and quickly filled the sir with his treasures. He found a nearby neural unit and quickly jacked it into the SIR. Upon a second look he found some musical recordings and quickly jammed them into the SIRs head as well. Seeing that the neural unit was slightly damaged he grabbed some nearby paper clips and gum and fashioned a makeshift solution.
"BRILLIANT!" He scremed in triumph before zipping off to meet the others.
The tallest had a ship set aside for them inside were barely enough provisions to get them through a galactic week. The only other equipment provided was a crappy out-dated pop up base. The underground passages of their base would be less than a normal base. To prove to themselves that they weren't that cruel the tallest also left the three with three galactic weeks worth of Irken Liquor. The ship had only enough fuel to get them to the planet and was rigged to self destruct upon entrance into the planet's atmosphere.
"Alright have a terrible trip you three."
"Fuck you!" they all screamed back in unison before the hatch was closed and the ship was launched.
"Well we may as well activate our SIRs while we're here we an entire galactic week before we reach the planet."* Tak sighed though she was only too eager to activate her's.
Zim and Skoodge looked at each other and nodded. They extracted all of the parts they had smuggled from the junk heaps. Congratulating each other on particularly useful items. Tak face palmed 'why didn't I think of that?' she silently wondered.
They all stared at the SIRs. The units were five units tall except for Skoodg's which was only four. Tak seeing that the other two weren't going to begin was too excited to wait a second longer.
Tak jammed a finger into the activation button and waited for the SIR to come soaring to life. The SIR's hand came up to meet it's forehead just above it's vibrant red eyes and it saluted. "Mimi reporting for duty mistress!" it procalimed in a feminine yet child-like voice.
Tak squealed with delight before hugging the newly christened Mimi. "Okay Skoodge you next."
Skoodge nodded solemly before pressing the activation button of his own SIR unit. The units eyes flickered to life in a glowing green and it stared up at it's new master. "Name's Zeke. What do you want ,Master?" The SIR units tone skewed the last word with a hint of sarcasm.
Skoodge stared at the SIR unit before turning to his irken counterparts. "It's got the personality virus. I believe that this particular strain of the virus is the insubordinate sarcastic type...Though this could be a flash strain mimicking the psychotic state of multiple personalities."
"Let's hope Zim's SIR is a little less annoying."
Zim's finger gently pushed the button in slowly until he heard a soft click. He waited patiently but nothing happened. He turned to his counterparts "Must be bus..." Zim was interuppted by the SIR unit latching on to his face.
"YEEEEEEEEHHHAAAAAA!" It screeched. "Hi I'm Gir. I like cookies and brownies and squirrels and I know lotsa songs too wanna hear one?" The three irkens looked to one another for some explanation too shocked to speak. "Yay. You's gonna LOVE this one."