Oooook... this took a ton longer than I thought it would. I'm so sorry this took me so long! But the good news is, this is the finale! Finally, something that I can add to my list of achievements! :DDDD Please enjoy the final parody of Umbara! :D
Umbara Arc Parody 4: Craziness of Krell
Message thingy that's always at the beginning: "Our action figures define our lethargy."
"While fighting to control the magical planet of Arabmu, Anakin Skywalker's FAIRIES!-
Obi-Wan. Again? Seriously? SERIOUSLY?
Off. My. Computer.
Fine. Sad face.
"While fighting to control the magical planet of Arabmu, Anakin Skywalker's battalion has been 'temporarily' placed under the completely careless rule of a jerk named General Krell. As Krell does not want clones to do their own plan and wants to always listen to the voices, many clones have quit, or called in sick so they didn't have to follow through with his plans. His men began to turn against him. Wait, didn't I basically already say that anyway… never mind…. Captain Rex struggles to put up with the ridiculous babbling about the 'voices', while still trying to assure his men that the plans will work. Under his command, Fives and Jesse disobey the voices, and decide to make pizza instead. Sounds like a good plan to me. Anyways, now they're gonna get their blasters taken away."
Rex walked up to Krell. "General Krell, I respectfully-"
"SHHHH. I'M LIKE, LISTENING TO THE VOICES. GO AWAY." Krell continued to stare out the window.
"Oh. Ok… I think you should reconsider taking Jesse and Fives's blasters away…. But the men are with you… some of them just think you're putting their lives in danger needlessly," Rex said to him.
"ALL LIKE, THE BETTER LIKE, REASON TO LIKE, SHOW THEM THAT LIKE, THE VOICES ARE LIKE, IN CHARGE. YEAAAH. LIKE, BESIDES. THE WEIRDO CLONES THAT LIKE DISOBEYED AND STUFF, THEY WERE LIKE, ALWAYS MEAN CLONES FROM LIKE, THE BEGINNING OF TIME AND STUFF, SO THEY NEED TO LIKE, KNOW THAT THE LIKE, VOICES ARE LIKE, IN CHARGE," Krell said. "SOME PEOPLE JUST LIKE, FAIL AT LIFE."
Rex was silent.
"SO, YOU'RE LIKE, RIGHT. I LIKE, SHOULDN'T LIKE, TAKE THEIR LIKE, BLASTERS AWAY. IT'LL ONLY LIKE, WASTE THE LIKE, VOICES' PRECIOUS LIKE TIME. THEY'LL NEED TO BE LIKE, DISPOSED OF. PREPARE LIKE, THE BOX."
"Wh-what? But sir-!" Rex exclaimed.
"YOU LIKE, HEARD ME, DUDE. THEY WILL LIKE, BE PUT IN THE BOX, AND YOU WILL LIKE, DO IT NOW. OR I WILL LIKE, DO IT LIKE MYSELF. WITH THE LIKE, VOICES' HELP OF COURSE," Krell said, and began to watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic on the holographic projector.
Rex left and went to the separate section of rooms. He walked over to where Fives and Jesse were. "Fives, Jesse, I'm sorry; General Krell has ordered that you both be put in the Box immediately."
"What? But- how?" Jesse asked. "He can't do this!"
"He has authority to render punishment during combat," Rex replied. You could tell he was not looking forward to putting his friends in the Box.
"I can understand getting our blasters taken away, and sending us to our room, but putting us in the Box?" Jesse exclaimed.
"I tried to convince him that it's my fault, but he wouldn't let me," Rex said.
"Face it, dude! He's been using you! He needs your loyalty to control the others, or we'll just all DIE!" Fives exclaimed.
The door was opened wider and the guard clones approached Fives and Jesse.
"I won't let him get away with this," Rex said to them.
"Eh, don't beat yourself up about it. We made our choice. To DIEEEE!" Fives wailed and started crying.
"Yeah speak for yourself!" Jesse said.
"Still got your sense of humor? THIS IS NO TIME FOR JOKING!" Fives shouted miserably.
"…Who said I was joking…?" Jesse murmured.
Fives sniffed. "Well, I guess this is it…"
Several clones approached the large cardboard Box. "Line up the prisoners!" Dogma ordered.
Fives and Jesse were led to the platform which was raised to the opening at the top of the Box. "Well, I've officially lost my sense of humor… and my candy stick…" Jesse mumbled.
Rex looked up and saw Krell watching evilly, grinning and clapping his hands in excitement.
Dogma walked up to Fives and Jesse as they stood before the Box. "Would the prisoners request to be blindfolded as they are escorted into the Box?"
They were silent.
"ANSWER ME! Oh fine I'll take it as a no!"
"I hope you can live with yourself, Dogma," Fives said.
"Alright, readyyy?" Dogma asked, getting ready to signal the clones to push Fives and Jesse into the Box.
"I never thought we'd go out this way…" Jesse said.
"Aim!" Dogma ordered.
The clones behind Jesse and Fives got ready to push them in.
"Wait! This is wrong, and we all know it!" Fives shouted. "The general is a jerk and he wants us to DIE! No clone should have to go out this way! We aren't stupid!" He started crying again. "We have to figure out what to do when we're told to do bad stuff!"
"Throw them in," Dogma said.
Then, several clones pushed the Box over and started jumping on it, crushing it until it was nothing but a pile of crushed cardboard and clone footprints.
"What- what happened?" Dogma exclaimed.
"They're doing the right thing, Dogma," Rex said. "Because if this is how soldiers are rewarded for average pizza and terrible flying skills, then one day…. Eh, I've got nothing. But anyways, people shouldn't be put in the Box, so yeah, this is over."
"No! We have orders!" Dogma cried. "We have to go through with this!"
"Yeah, good luck, man." Rex turned away and waited for the other clones to finish removing the binders on Jesse and Fives's wrists.
Krell was dancing to a very fast-paced workout video when Rex and Dogma entered the room. When they spotted him in his workout clothes, they froze and stared awkwardly. Krell stared back, and ran into the wall. Well, he was aiming for the door to the closet, but missed. He ran into the closet, and came back a moment later in his regular clothes.
"You… wanted us… Sir…?" Rex asked.
"I LIKE, ORDERED THOSE CLONES TO BE LIKE, PUT IN THE BOX," said Krell, walking up to Rex. "YOU ARE LIKE, MAKING A MISTAKE BY LIKE, CROSSING ME- AND LIKE, THE VOICES, DUDE."
"It's Captain, Sir," Rex said to him. "Get it right for once."
Krell growled and hissed at Rex like a wild animal and clenched his teeth together, showing them.
"General, Sir, there's an incoming transmission," said the clone by the controls.
"CAN'T YOU SEE I'M LIKE, BUSY? OH LIKE, FINE. LIKE, PUT IT THROUGH," Krell ordered.
A clone appeared on the projector. "Sir, the Arabmuans have stepped up their defenses. We're holding them off, but they have stolen stuff from the mall because they're jerks. Anyway, they might dress up as clones and go around asking for candy and throwing pies at people." The pixel-like holograph broke into a million little chips as the clone faded away.
"WELL, I GUESS YOU LIKE, GET TO NOT BE PUT IN THE BOX AND STUFF. FOR NOW!" Krell shouted at Rex. "LIKE, LOCK THE TRAITORS IN THE LIKE, HOTEL OR SOMETHING. AND THEN LIKE, PREPARE TO MOVE OUT AND STUFF LIKE THAT." He entered the elevator with Rex and Dogma. "IF WE WANT TO LIKE, FIGHT THEM AND STUFF, WE'RE GOING TO NEED TO LIKE, FIGHT BACK THE SAME WAY. PREPARE LIKE, THE PIES! ! ! WE'RE GONNA LIKE, FINALLY LIKE TOTALLY TAKE THE CASTLE! WOOHOO!" he screamed. "OH, AND CAPTAIN, MAKE SURE THAT EVERYONE'S LIKE, AWARE AND STUFF THAT THE ARABMUANS MAY LIKE, BE DISGUISED AND STUFF, AND YEAH, SO YEAH."
Rex rubbed his ears after Krell's miniature speech. "Yeah… ok…"
It was a bright and sunny day as they all strolled away from the mall with cartloads of pie in every flavor imaginable- cherry, apple, blueberry, raspberry, pickle, peach, cream, banana cream, chocolate cream, chocolate peanut butter, pecan, walnut, lima bean, okra, pizza, chicken, mushroom, coffee, kiwi, strawberry, jalapeno rice, charcoal, rosemary, ham, ice, ice cream, ice milk, ice marshmallows, hazelnut, freezer jam, potato, carrot, sweet potato, pumpkin, fruitcake, beef soup, cinnamon, garlic, turmeric, cotton candy, root beer, watermelon, grape, salmon, mayonnaise, onion, eraser shaving, unicorn jelly, tater tot, tomato, Dijon mustard, alligator, chicken ramen, and many many others.
"Stay alert," said Rex, pushing a cart of the fruitcake pie, "the enemy has our armor, and is armed with pie."
"But so are we! We're gonna rock this!" said Tup.
"Yeah, but they may try to trick us."
They continued walking.
"WATCH OUT DOGMA!" Tup screamed at the top of his lungs.
Dogma looked down and saw a little squirrel hopping along innocently. "What."
"I've heard those things can rip off your heads…!"
"You read too many weird magazines," Dogma replied.
"Oh yeah? Watch!" Tup through a hazelnut pie at the squirrel.
The squirrel hopped up to it and ate the whole thing in one bite. Then it got a sugar rush and went crazy, gnawing down an entire tree in three seconds for no reason at all.
"Ewww," said Dogma. "I hate fuzzy creatures."
"I thought it was cute!" exclaimed a random clone.
"Yeah well I think it's GROSS," Dogma stated.
Suddenly, pies began to fly out of the air from nowhere and land on them all.
"We're under attack!"
"Where arrreee dey?" Tup shouted.
"I dunno I can't see anything!" Dogma exclaimed.
Rex turned to the others. "Get those pies up here now!"
A couple clones wheeled two of the carts of pie to the front lines and began catapulting pies to the enemy.
Pies exploded left and right as they hit random objects and clones.
"Anyone got a visual?"
"Negative, it's too dark!"
"I say positive, because I always think with the glass half full!"
"Good for you…"
"WAIT EVURYBUDDY HANG ON. I seez dem." Whatever clone was talking continued looking through his binoculars. "Yuuup… they're disguised as clones alright."
They all advanced a little, flinging pies towards the enemy.
It was a very intense pie battle. Many men were blinded by pies in the face and had to sit on the side because they were considered eliminated.
"Captain, where are you?"
"We're sustaining heavy stains! I hope this cherry pie comes off the armor!" Rex replied.
"That's… not cherry pie filling…"
"Yes, it is. Look." He licked it. "See, cherry pie filling."
Rex looked across the battlefield and spotted a fallen soldier, covered head to toe in cream pie. But that wasn't what caught his eye…
He ran over and slid the helmet off gently. It was no Arabmuan. It was a clone.
"What?" he exclaimed.
The clone jumped up and started eating the pie off him. "Dude! You're not an Arabmuan! Sweet! This pie is awesome!"
Rex started laughing, and then ran out into the battlefield. He got smacked by a lima bean pie. "Ow. Everyone! Stop throwing pie! They aren't Arabmuans, we're throwing pie at our own men!" He kept running by everyone. "Take off your helmets! Show them your gorgeous faces!" He took off his own helmet.
Some clones on the other side were about to throw more pies and saw Rex. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOAAA."
"THEY'RE NOT ARABMUANS, THEY'RE CLONES!" Rex continued to scream. He ran and tackled Cody, throwing off his helmet. "Look!"
They shortly stopped throwing pie and took off their helmets, staring back at the other clones. Several of them were covered in pie.
Then they all started laughing.
"Dude! That was awesome! I totally CREAMED you!" one clone cried, pointing at another clone and laughing his head off.
They all continued to laugh hysterically.
Rex found Waxer, who was covered completely in every kind of pie possible. "Hey, dude. Who gave you the order to throw pies at us?"
Waxer was licking pie off his arm. "Eh?"
"Who gave you the order?" Rex repeated.
"Ohh. It was Krell. Duh!"
Rex narrowed his eyes. All fun aside, this was not right…
"We all know who's responsible," Rex said as he stood before a group of clones, "for what happened out there. But what we don't know is why. Something has to be done. I know that getting covered in chocolate cream and peanuts is fun, but what I'm proposing-"
"OMG I'M ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS!" one clone screamed.
Another gasped. "If you're allergic to peanuts that means I am too!"
"THAT MEANS WE ALL ARE!"
"Quiet down!" Rex yelled. "No one's allergic to peanuts!"
They all fell silent.
"As I was SAYING… what I'm proposing is highly treasonous. If any man chooses to opt out, do it now," Rex said.
Everyone stepped forward, signifying that they were on his side.
"From this point forward, we are entering…" he paused for dramatic effect, "the territory of the mysteriously uncharted. My orders are, we arrest General Krell for treason against the Republic, and against banana cream pie."
"YEAAAAH!" Tup screamed.
All the clones marched back to the mall. Dogma looked upset. Poor Dogma.
Rex and a couple others went to go release Jesse and Fives. He handed them their blasters.
"Oooh, yes, my sweet blasty!" Fives squealed, hugging the blaster tightly and accidentally firing it at the ceiling. "Oops."
The elevator door opened on the highest tower, and somewhere around 16 and a half clones ran in and approached Krell.
"General Krell, you're being relieved of duty," said Rex firmly.
Krell turned around slowly, drinking some chocolate coffee. "SO IT'S LIKE, TREASON, THEN? YOU GUYS ARE LIKE, LAAAME. THE VOICES SAY SO."
Rex drew his weapons. "Surrender, general!"
"YOU'RE COMMITTING LIKE, MUTINY, CAPTAIN- WHATEVER LIKE, THAT IS… HEY VOICES! WHAT'S LIKE, MUTINY!" He paused and waited for an answer. "….I GOT, LIKE, NOTHING." He took another giant sip of coffee.
"Explain your actions," Rex demanded.
"LIKE, MY ACTIONS, DUDE?"
"For ordering your troops against one another!"
"OH, LIKE, THAAAT. I LIKE, FORGOT ABOUT THAT. BECAUSE SEE, I LIKE, SUFFER FROM SHORT TERM MEMORY LOSS. AT LEAST, I LIKE, THINK I DO. IT LIKE, RUNS IN MY FAMILY. AT LEAST, I LIKE, THINK IT DOES… WHERE ARE THEY…. ANYWHOOO, I'M SURPRISED YOU LIKE, FIGURED IT OUT! Y'KNOW, FOR A CLOOOONE." Krell drank the rest of his coffee and threw the paper cup out the window.
The clones all moved a little closer, surrounding Krell.
"Surrender, general," Rex repeated. "You're outnumbered-"
Krell suddenly sent out a giant Force wave that crashed everyone to the walls. "THE VOICES! THEY RESPONDEDED TO MEEEE! YIPPEE! DIE CLONIES!" He took out his lightsabers and ignited them all. "YOU DARE TO LIKE, ATTACK A JEDI? A JEDI ON COFFEE?"
They all started shooting at him, but with his two double-bladed lightsabers, it didn't really get anywhere.
"I WILL NOT BE LIKE, DEFEATED BY LIKE…. WHATEVER YOU PEOPLES ARE. THE VOICES TELLED ME!" Krell ran for the window, crashed completely through it, and flew through the air. "WHEEEEEE!" He eventually hit the ground and ended his blissful dream.
"Get him!" the clones on the ground shouted.
The fighting continued, but Krell being the cowardly jerk that he is, he ran away throwing celery at clones and eventually hit in the forest of strange plants.
Rex, Jesse, and Fives ran out of the giant tower and began to chase after Krell, but were soon met by Dogma who was holding a gun.
"Hold it right there!" he exclaimed.
Rex whipped out his own blasters and pointed them at Dogma. "Lower your weapon, Dogma."
"Unless you wanna get your blasty taken away too," Fives said.
"I… I can't do that, sir!" Dogma replied.
"That's an ORDER!" Rex shouted.
"It's my duty! I have to be loyaaaal." Dogma pointed his gun back and forth at everyone surrounding him. "You're all traitors!"
Rex put one blaster away and took his helmet off. "I used to think being a good soldier meant not taking cake from the secret refrigerator that's always in the lunch room-"
"SAY WHAAAT?" Fives cried. He began to run off.
"Fives, get back here!" Rex scolded loudly.
Fives walked back slowly and dejectedly.
"Anyway… that's how they engineered us," Rex continued, "but we're not droids. We're not programmed. You have to learn to make your own decisions!"
Dogma pointed his gun again.
"Don't do it, Doggy!" Tup exclaimed.
"My name is NOT DOGGY!" Dogma cried, but lowered his weapon sadly.
"WOOHOO!" A couple clones ran into Dogma and knocked him over. "Yay that was fun!"
"Take him to the hotel," Rex said.
"Troopers! Don't let General Krell escape!"
So they all ran off in search of Krell.
Strolling through the sunny forest as squirrels and dancing flowers sang around them, the clones continued their search for Krell.
"Anybody got anything?" Rex said into his comlink.
"Weeeell… somebody ate a rock and got rock poisoning…"
"Not what I meant!"
"Oh, right… negative, we lost him." The sound of lightsabers and blasters resounded. "Wait! He's too- powerful…! Throwing celery-! AAAHHH!"
They all took a few more steps, and Fives looked through his scopes. He saw Krell dancing around like a maniac, throwing celery at everyone and occasionally slapping them. Then he began to approach where they were. "He's coming!"
It was silent for a moment. But then…
"YOU SHOULD'A LIKE, TOTALLY LISTENED TO THE ARC TROOPER FROM THE LIKE, BEGINNING, CAPTAIN! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAA! AAAAAHHAHAHAAA AHHAHAH HHAAAAHAHAHA HAHA HAHAHAHA HA. HA. HAHA. HAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!" Krell laughed hysterically and then started coughing. "LIKE- TOTALLY! NEED INHALER! AAAAHHH VOICES! LIKE- HELP MEEEE!" After finally getting his coughing under control, he started laughing again. "HE WAS LIKE, TOTALLY RIGHT! THE VOICES LIKE TOTALLY ARE USING YOU! HAHAHAAAAAAHAHHAA."
They all looked around, trying to see where Krell was, but they couldn't find him.
"AAAAAHAHAHAHHAA!" Krell screamed and landed right in the middle of all of them. He spun around and slapped them all in the face with a long piece of celery. "YOU'VE LIKE, ALL BEEN PAWNS OF THE LIKE, VOICES! BECAUSE THEY ARE LIKE, AWESOME! AND YOU AREN'T! HAHA!"
"Get him!" Rex shouted.
"AHAHHAAA!" Krell continued laughing like a complete crazy person and kept throwing celery and slapping people.
He eventually put away his lightsabers and continued slapping people. Some he picked up and spun around before throwing across the planet's surface. He tossed Tup several feet in one direction.
Tup got off the ground and looked where he had landed. It was one of the little squirrels. "Hey little squirrel! You're so cute!" Then, he got an idea… "Captain Rex! This is Tup! If you can, force the general towards me!"
"What? Why?" Rex asked.
"Trust me, sir!"
Rex shrugged. What could go wrong? "Troopers, circle around. Lure him towards Tup!"
Krell saw all the clones beginning to go in a certain direction. "HEY! YOU AREN'T GONNA LIKE, GET AWAY! HAHA!"
Tup waited behind the squirrel, and when Krell came into view, he shot at him a couple times.
Krell deflected the lasers and started running towards Tup.
"Hey! Ugly! Come and get me!" Tup shouted.
Krell ran towards Tup, faster and faster.
Tup cowered back slightly, hoping this would work.
The little squirrel looked up at Krell as he ran, and squealed.
A giant piano fell out of the sky, and landed right on top of Krell.
Everyone looked up, and saw a clone who had been holding the piano on stage ropes. "My bad!"
Then another clone jumped on top of the piano. "DON'T STOP! BELIEVIN'!"
They all dragged Krell back to the mall, but it was no use really because he was already dead. They tossed him in the hotel anyways, just for fun.
"Well, that ruined my speech that I was going to tell him once we captured him," said Rex.
"Who cares?" Jesse said with a laugh.
"We didn't die!" Fives cheered.
A clone approached them. "Sir, we've repaired the transmitter, it was sabotaged. General Kenobi has finally, FINALLY taken the castle, but the remaining Arabmuans are coming here!"
"Get everyone on the perimeter! We need to prepare for a full scale attack!" Rex said.
"Yes sir!" He left.
"Well, since Krell is dead we don't have to worry about him escaping and turning over defense codes or something. He would've struck a crippling blow to the Republic. Good thing that didn't happen!" Fives said.
Once everything was over, and the Republic ships came to pick everyone up, Fives, Jesse, and Rex were just standing around waiting.
"General Kenobi secured all sectors and blah, blah, blah," said Fives. "We did it. We took Arabmu!"
Rex looked out to some of the other clones, thinking. "What's the point of all this? I mean, why?"
"I dunno, sir," Fives replied. "I don't think anybody knows. But I do know, that some day, this war is gonna end."
"But theeen what?" Jesse asked. "We're soldiers! What happens to us then?"
"I dunno about you guys," said Rex, " but I've got a couple ideas…. Y'know, meet a girl, settle down… have a couple kids…"
Everyone else stared at him.
"What? ?" Rex asked, looking at them.
And the ships flew away, concluding another lovely day on the battlefield.
Hot Cakes was up in clone heaven, sitting on a cloud.
Just then, a very pretty angel went by, and stopped, turning to face him. She smiled. "Hey there, hot stuff."
Hot Cakes stared at her in awe. "Uh, actually… it's Hot Cakes."
And that concludes this issue of episode parodies! I am hoping to work on Emblem Star over spring break (in fact, my sis will probably force me to. XD) and NSNW4 too, when I get the chance! ;) I hope you enjoyed these parodies! Farewell!