Very important A/N at the bottom.

P.S.: If you want me to update these faster, feel free to go on anonymous and give me a kick in the ass. Seriously. A simple "What the hell, you haven't updated in forever. Hurry up and get the next damn chapter out." will help. I don't mind. At all. I prefer it, actually.

"Okay, so what do we know?"

"Well, I found out that Elder McKinley definitely loves Elder Price,"

"Wait, what! He does?"

"Yes, Elder Cunningham, Chris and I have already established that,"

"Sorry, Elder Church… I didn't know…"

"It's fine, don't worry. And call me James,"

"James? Really?


"Then call me Arnold!"

"Sure thing, Arnold,"

"And you can call me Chris,"


"Yes, Chris,"

"Sure thing Elder Tho- Chris,"

"Okay, so Elder McKinley likes Elder Price. And Elder Price-"

"-is lusting after Elder McKinley,"


"Yes, it's a word, Chris, trust me."

"Whatever you say, James,"

"So, uh… now what?"

"Did you talk to Elder Price, Arnold?"

"Sure did…"


"I didn't really get anywhere… he said something like… Elder McKinley is nice and smart and a good friend. That's about as deep as I got… he's a bit slow on these things…"

"Well what did you ask him?"

"What he thought of Elder McKinley. That's what you told me to ask him, James,"

"You didn't mention the wet dreams?"

"Of course not! That would've been weird and he might have gotten mad!"

"Well, what else did he say?"

"Uh… well he didn't even know Elder McKinley was gay…"

"What? Every Elder and their mother knows that Elder McKinley is gay. Elder Price can't be that slow,"

"Leave him alone, he's just not very… good… when it comes to romance,"

"Yeah, James. You're acting like you're a love genius,"

"Who's idea was this? Huh, Chris?"



"Anyway! What do we do now, guys? Elder Price doesn't have a clue about Elder McKinley's feelings!"

"Well, Arnold... now we just have to get them to, well, tell each other,"

"How are we supposed to do that, Elder- uh, I mean, James?"


"Wait, James, you said Elder Price lusts after Elder McKinley, right? And moans his name in his sleep? That's it?"


"And he does, I have to deal with it almost every night,"

"Well… that's not good…"



"I told you, Elder McKinley told me he was in love with Elder Price. We need to make sure this is more than just lust on Elder Price's part before we try to actually get them together."


"Well… what if Elder Price doesn't love Elder McKinley as much as we think he does? It could all end in tears if we got them together only for them to break up when Elder Price can't return Elder McKinley's feelings,"

"You're right, Chris… damn,"

"Elder Church!"

"Call me James,"

"James likes to swear, Arnold. You learn to get used to it,"

"You've gotten used to me already?"

"Of course I have,"

"Well I guess that's good, at least I don't have to censor myself,"

"You call that censoring yourself?"

"Oh, I could be worse. Much worse,"

"Should I be scared?"

"… Maybe?"

"Um, guys? I'm still here… can we get back on topic?"

"… Sorry, Arnold…"

"Yeah… blame Chris,"


"Well, it was your fault,"

"Guys, it doesn't matter. Back to what we were saying…"

"Oh yeah, what were we talking about?"

"… You both are… just… you're worse than me!"

"What's that supposed to mean!"

"Yeah! How's Chris worse than you?"

"He said both of us…"

"He meant you-"

"Okay! Guys! It doesn't matter! Back on track, please? Elder Price and Elder McKinley!"

"Okay, sorry about that, Arnold. James and I will behave. So we need to find out if Elder Price is in love with Elder McKinley before we can get them together. How are we supposed to do that?"



"Anyone have an idea? James? Arnold? I'm stuck,"

"… Wait!"

"This better be good,"

"Well that was rude…"

"Don't start, guys,"

"Sorry, Arnold. Okay, so, do you think that if we just asked Elder Price if he liked Elder McKinley in that way, he'd tell us?"

"I don't know… maybe?"

"I'm not too sure that's going to work… no, hear me out, Elder Price is my mission companion so I can tell you that getting him to admit to any feelings he has towards Elder McKinley is going to be really hard if we aren't really careful,"

"So we have to catch him when he's least expecting it? That doesn't sound very nice…"

"Screw nice, Chris! Have you seen Elder McKinley lately? Ever since you talked to him, he's been walking around like a kicked puppy, we have to help him!"

"James is right, Chris…"

"Okay… I guess you do have a point… How do you think we should do it, Arnold?"

"Well… Elder Price is really conservative when it comes to his feelings,"

"He is?"

"Seriously? He didn't sound so conservative when he didn't want to be here,"

"Cut him some slack. He just saw some guy get shot in the face. He was at the end of his rope, but yes, he never really shows what he's feeling unless he's happy,"

"Oh… well… that's going to be a problem,"

"So we need to get Elder McKinley to make the first move? Chris can make that happen,"

"How are you so sure I can do it?"

"You can do a lot of stuff, this shouldn't be too hard for you,"

"… thanks?"

"Wait! Before Chris makes Elder McKinley try and kiss Elder Price or something, we have to make sure Elder Price loves Elder McKinley,"

"What if he doesn't?"

"Well way to be positive, James,"

"If he doesn't, then we give up."


"That's a… that's a happy thought…"

"But I'll do my best to find out if Elder Price likes Elder McKinley, but I don't know where to start…"

"Well you told me he has wet dreams about him, right?"

"Oh yeah and thanks for making me realize they were sex dreams, Elder James. I really didn't need to know that,"

"… Did you just call me Elder James…?"

"Force of habit!"

"Anyway, Arnold, why don't you just ask Elder Price privately?"

"Feelings, remember?"

"Oh right… well you're just going to have to be really discreet and sneaky. Can you do that?"

"I can do anything, Chris!"

"I don't doubt it… how are you going to do it?"

"I… I'm not too sure…"

"Oooh, Chris! Let me figure it out! I'm the master at being sneaky!"






"Whatever. So here's what I think we should do…"

You know the drill. Anything confusing, point it out.

I've been thinking, should I add in names to make this less confusing?

For example

James: "What?"

Chris: "…"

Arnold: "…"

James: "Whatever. So here's what I think we should do…"

What do you guys think? It seems a bit too movie script-ish for my liking but if it makes it easier for you as the reader to understand the story, then I'm all for it.