A/N: I was inspired for this one while reading some various humor fics.

Disclaimer: I don't own CM.

JJ's phone buzzed as she closed a case file. She was still getting used to using the iPhone 4, and was finding it easier each time. What she wasn't aware of, was the auto correct.

Penelope: Jayje, I heard a rumour that u have feelings 4 our very own boy genius! ;)

JJ: Well, I'll admit I did at one point. But, we're just friends. Spence is like a human cocksucker, which I think is cute, but I don't like him like that.

Penelope: Uh, Jayje? Are u sure?

JJ: Read my last text!

Penelope: I think U ought 2, lol.

JJ's eyes widened as she scrolled back through the messages.

JJ: Figs! I meant centipede!

Penelope: Figs? Centipede?

JJ: Oh, for f's sake. CALCULATOR!

By the time she'd sent the last message, JJ was ready to throw the damned iPhone across the room.

xxx

Emily: JJ, we're going to go out for cocktails after we finish. Wanna tag along?

JJ: Cocktails?...Yeh, I could do with a prostitute right now.

Emily: HAHAHAHAHA! Morgan was reading that over my shoulder! But aren't u with Will?

JJ: Yeah?...OH MY GOD, I swear I meant PINEAPPLE EXPRESS!

Emily: Jayje you're a federal agent. You might want to avoid using drugs.

JJ: PINA COLADA!

xxx

Morgan: When you're done with that prostitute, give her my number, ok? ;)

JJ: Seriously, just pick off, ok? :(

Morgan: Pick?

JJ: PISS OFF! Stop being so derp like.

JJ: I meant ARROGANT.

xxx

Spence: Are you coming with us tonight?

JJ: I am. But only so I can badonkadonk the crap out of Emily and Morgan.

Spence: I don't think badonkadonk is a word, JJ.

JJ: Huh?...oh, I want my Blackberry back! :( I meant so I can bullet the crap out of them.

Spence: Don't do that! If you use your gun, you'll get arrested!

JJ: BEAT! BEAT THE CRAP!

xxx

Rossi: JJ, I got given a report that was missing some resources. Would you mind emailing them to me?

JJ: Sure, just let me re-attach them to my eggs, then I'll send it off for you to fertilize.

Rossi: JJ!

JJ: I frittata hate this phone! *the email...*finish

Rossi: Frittata? Seriously, JJ?

JJ: FUUUUUUUU!

xxx

Hotch: JJ, have you finished that report?

JJ: Almost. Just touching myself, then I'll bring it up.

Hotch: In your office? JJ...

JJ: Of course in my office, where else?

Hotch: Read your first text.

JJ: Excuse me while I go hang myself after I blow up my phone.

Hotch: What were you trying to say?

JJ: *Touching it up

Hotch: That's fine, just bring it up when you're finished with it.

JJ: Can you give me an hour's break afterwards?

Hotch: Why?

JJ: I need to go and run over this phone with my car, then go buy a new one.

Hotch: Just make sure to clean up the car park when you're done.

JJ: No worries :D

A/N: I loved writing this! It was so much fun thinking up auto corrections!

Please review!

SQ215 xxx