A/N: I was inspired for this one while reading some various humor fics.
Disclaimer: I don't own CM.
JJ's phone buzzed as she closed a case file. She was still getting used to using the iPhone 4, and was finding it easier each time. What she wasn't aware of, was the auto correct.
Penelope: Jayje, I heard a rumour that u have feelings 4 our very own boy genius! ;)
JJ: Well, I'll admit I did at one point. But, we're just friends. Spence is like a human cocksucker, which I think is cute, but I don't like him like that.
Penelope: Uh, Jayje? Are u sure?
JJ: Read my last text!
Penelope: I think U ought 2, lol.
JJ's eyes widened as she scrolled back through the messages.
JJ: Figs! I meant centipede!
Penelope: Figs? Centipede?
JJ: Oh, for f's sake. CALCULATOR!
By the time she'd sent the last message, JJ was ready to throw the damned iPhone across the room.
Emily: JJ, we're going to go out for cocktails after we finish. Wanna tag along?
JJ: Cocktails?...Yeh, I could do with a prostitute right now.
Emily: HAHAHAHAHA! Morgan was reading that over my shoulder! But aren't u with Will?
JJ: Yeah?...OH MY GOD, I swear I meant PINEAPPLE EXPRESS!
Emily: Jayje you're a federal agent. You might want to avoid using drugs.
JJ: PINA COLADA!
Morgan: When you're done with that prostitute, give her my number, ok? ;)
JJ: Seriously, just pick off, ok? :(
JJ: PISS OFF! Stop being so derp like.
JJ: I meant ARROGANT.
Spence: Are you coming with us tonight?
JJ: I am. But only so I can badonkadonk the crap out of Emily and Morgan.
Spence: I don't think badonkadonk is a word, JJ.
JJ: Huh?...oh, I want my Blackberry back! :( I meant so I can bullet the crap out of them.
Spence: Don't do that! If you use your gun, you'll get arrested!
JJ: BEAT! BEAT THE CRAP!
Rossi: JJ, I got given a report that was missing some resources. Would you mind emailing them to me?
JJ: Sure, just let me re-attach them to my eggs, then I'll send it off for you to fertilize.
JJ: I frittata hate this phone! *the email...*finish
Rossi: Frittata? Seriously, JJ?
Hotch: JJ, have you finished that report?
JJ: Almost. Just touching myself, then I'll bring it up.
Hotch: In your office? JJ...
JJ: Of course in my office, where else?
Hotch: Read your first text.
JJ: Excuse me while I go hang myself after I blow up my phone.
Hotch: What were you trying to say?
JJ: *Touching it up
Hotch: That's fine, just bring it up when you're finished with it.
JJ: Can you give me an hour's break afterwards?
JJ: I need to go and run over this phone with my car, then go buy a new one.
Hotch: Just make sure to clean up the car park when you're done.
JJ: No worries :D
A/N: I loved writing this! It was so much fun thinking up auto corrections!