Disclaimer: I don't own FFXII or AC. If I did, do you honestly think I'd be writing fanfiction?

Zephyr here! I might have gone insane because of this oneshot...goodness, it was difficult to write. I actually didn't come up with this story. Well, parts of it I did. There's kind of a long story about this one.

When I first started playing FFXII, I noticed that Balthier's gun is named Altair, which immediately made me think of AC. I was talking to one friend who plays both games and we somehow got on the topic of who would top if Balthier and Altair were ever in a relationship. I think we eventually decided that it would depend on the mood. So about two weeks ago, I was talking to another friend about the same thing and he said that I should write that happening. And this is the result!

I am well aware of the historical inaccuracies, as guns weren't avaliable in the Middle East until well after the Crusades. But for the sake of fanfiction, we're going to ignore that for now.

That's about it on my end. Without further ado, let the deadly tale begin!

"So what exactly will this accomplish?"

Altaïr's eyes were on the sky pirate as his fingers drummed on the hilt of his sword at his side. The Assassin had been practicing on the grounds of the Assassin's Headquarters when he was interrupted by Balthier, saying that he was directing too many of his attacks at walls. At least, that's how it seemed to Balthier. The sky pirate took it upon himself to show the Assassin how to fight in what he deemed to be a proper manner.

However, it was proving to be more difficult than Balthier had anticipated. Altaïr fought with blades and knives, while he used guns in battle. He hadn't thought about the many differences between the ranged and melee weapons when he decided to teach Altaïr.

"Hopefully, you won't find yourself attacking walls so much." Balthier responded as he reloaded his weapon.

"I still fail to see how using a gun is even remotely connected to using knives and hidden blades." Altaïr said as he unsheathed his hidden blade. "Wouldn't Al Mualim be more suited for this, anyway?"

"You know he's off doing something or other." Balthier said as he turned to face the Assassin. "This will be useful. Trust me."

"Says the one who constantly backs up into walls himself." Altaïr said, eyes on Balthier.

"I use a long range weapon." Balthier said. "I need distance to use it effectively."

"Not quite as much distance as you give yourself, but we'll forget about that." Altaïr said with a sigh. "Let's just get this over with."

"You seem excited." Balthier's words dripped with sarcasm.

"Yes, because I have no clue why you are doing this." Altaïr said. "I have my own way of fighting and you have yours."

"Your way of fighting has you attacking walls and leaving your back exposed to the enemy." Balthier explained.

"Your method involves the option of being trapped, should multiple enemies surround you." Altaïr said.

"Are you always this quick to criticize?" Balthier arched an eyebrow.

"When it comes to matters as trivial as this, yes." Altaïr responded. "And how would you know how to fight with a sword when a gun is your weapon of choice?"

"I was taught how to use a sword from a young age." Balthier replied. "I am fit to instruct, I assure you."

"I seriously doubt that." Altaïr said.

"Let's get this finished, shall we?" Balthier suggested, knowing that arguing would get them nowhere.

"Yes, let's." Altaïr said. "I am meant to leave for Acre early tomorrow and I would like to prepare for the journey."

"Pretend that I am an enemy who is going to attack you." Balthier said as he walked behind Altaïr.

"Which you are." Altaïr muttered under his breath.

Balthier ignored this and continued. "What is your first instinct?"

"Honestly, Balthier, I am not-" Altaïr began to say.

"What is your first instinct?" Balthier repeated firmly.

Altaïr sighed and said, "I turn around and attack him with my blade." He unsheathed his sword and feigned the action of attacking Balthier.

"I dodge and your attack is dealt towards the wall." Balthier stepped aside just before Altaïr's blade could touch him. "Thus begins your problem."

"But I was attacking you and you jumped out of the way." Altaïr challenged. "You were my original target."

"But the wall then became your target when I moved." Balthier said as he walked over to where his sword rested on the ground.

"The wall was only the recipient of the attack." Altaïr retorted, his eyes following Balthier as the man grabbed his sword and walked back to where they were practicing, leaving his gun behind.

"Let's not argue about this." Balthier said. "What's important is that you know how to correct your mistake."

"My mistake was letting you attempt to teach me." Altaïr said moodily.

"Let's try something different." Balthier said after glaring at Altaïr. "You will attack me and I will show you how it's done."

"Am I allowed to honestly attack you?" Altaïr asked.

"You always practice like it is the real thing." Balthier nodded.

"This I can live with." Altaïr said with a smirk as he walked towards Balthier.

"Just get going, Altaïr." Balthier said impatiently.

"Fine by me." Altaïr said as he raised his sword arm.

"This is when you quickly jump to the side of your opponent," Balthier said as he ducked and lunged for Altaïr's side. "And attack them from behind."

Altaïr felt the tip of Balthier's blade in between his shoulder blades and said, "But I would need to get behind you for that to happen."

"Naturally." Balthier said as he lowered his sword.

"You neglected to explain that part." Altaïr turned his head to face Balthier.

"I assumed that an Assassin of your caliber would know that." Balthier explained. "Now it's your turn."

"This had better be the last of it." Altaïr said as he resumed his place in front of the wall.

"That depends on you, Altaïr." Balthier said.

The sky pirate drew his blade and lunged for Altaïr, who ducked and grabbed Balthier by the shoulder before throwing him against the wall. The hidden blade was pointed at Balthier's chest while Altaïr's right hand was on Balthier's throat, holding the man against the wall.

"I don't believe this is what I told you to do." Balthier said.

Altaïr smirked and said, "Just trying something new."

"Of course, you wouldn't do this in battle." Balthier said. "There would be too many opponents for this to be effective."

"Unless I am fighting one on one." Altaïr said as he inched closer to Balthier in what he hoped was a menacing manner. "Or performing an assassination."

"Which you are not doing right now." Balthier noted.

"Quite right." Altaïr nodded.

"Which means that you can release me now." Balthier said.

"No, I quite like you like this." Altaïr said. "You cannot do anything while I have a hand to your throat and my hidden blade at your chest."

"I'm afraid I'll have to disagree with you on that one." Balthier said with a smile.

"Oh?" Altaïr raised an eyebrow. "And what does that mean, Balthier?"

Balthier leaned forward and pressed his lips to Altaïr's before backing away. Altaïr frowned at the other man. He knew that Balthier was a bit out of the ordinary, but this was strange even for him.

"You might want to keep a closer grip on your real targets, Altaïr." Balthier said as he pulled Altaïr's hand away from his throat and moved away from the Assassin. "You don't want them escaping on your watch, now do you?"

"What was that for?" Altaïr's eyes followed Balthier across the courtyard.

Balthier turned back to face Altaïr and said, "Just trying something new."

I absolutely LOVE the banter between Balthier and Altair. As I said before this was extremely difficult to write. I can't really imagine either of them in a romantic relationship or doing anything romantic at all (especially Altair). I think I had planned on having Altair being the one to take action, but they just kind of wrote themselves. I hope it was a good read. Reviews equal love. Thanks for reading!