I don't own anything but my ideas.

Based off of a poem by Marcus Valerius Martialis (Martial). The poem is about homosexuality in ancient Rome (See bottom of page).


Nami couldn't keep the expectant smile off of her face. King Zeff and her father had finally agreed to the marriage. In a mere thirteen months, she and Prince Sanji, lord of the southern regions, would be married—Sanji, who was so kind to her, who always placed her before everyone else in the room, who she had seen defend her without a second's hesitation—even against a formidable enemy.

Months, she had been waiting for this to happen for months. And now that the deal was finalized, all she had to do was secure it for herself and Sanji. Rude was one thing Sanji was not, but she also wasn't blind to the fact that he was the kind of ruler who damn well wanted to make his own decisions in life. If she showed him what she could do tonight, he would be hers.

Nami's hair was pulled back off of her face with gold pins and silver strands braided into her amber locks. The circlet around her head had a diamond dangling in the middle of her forehead. Her eyes were lined with charcoal and silver dust that made her eyes sparkle like diamonds in the moonlight—and if she had her way tonight, then the lights would be off. Her wrists and ankles were draped with beautiful silver bangles, a circlet of gold was wrapped snuggly around her upper arm, and a choker necklace—which she had found was the most arousing to men—would have been actually choking her if it was any tighter.

Nami couldn't even begin to explain how happy she'd been when King Zeff and her parents, King Genzo and Queen Bell-mère, had announced that she would be married to Prince Sanji. And before her older sister as well! Though it was to be expected, Nojiko had never really expressed a desire to marry (for either money or happiness), Nami had always been the ambitious one.

After dinner had finished and everyone had dispersed to their own business, Nami had ran to her room to change into her favorite robes: bright red, bright enough to turn every eye in the room, and lined with more gold. She'd had to wait a while after that because Sanji had left dinner with Zoro Roronoa to spar, and usually their spars could go on for hours—a ridiculous amount of time, but there was no one else aside from King Zeff who could fight the prince or the general. As Nami had said many times before, they were so strong it was stupid (and the stupidity certainly was apparent in Zoro).

Zoro Roronoa was one of the most brilliant generals anyone had ever seen until that point, and he was the youngest by three years at the age of twenty-one—just a few months younger than Sanji was. The two fought like cat and dog when around each other (Nami had yet to see them together where they weren't fighting) but Sanji also spent more time with Zoro than he did with Nami—though that was to be expected, if Sanji would be king one day, he had to have subjects that were very loyal to him.

Nami had extra perfume on, her face was powdered, she was wearing delicate, gold sandals that tapped quietly against the floor as she walked, and she looked amazing. There was no way Prince Sanji, lord of the southern regions and soon to be King of the eastern and western regions as well, could resist what she would offer him.

She would give him all of the children he could ever ask for, she would give him advice on money and estates, she would be understanding when he took another woman to his bed if she was away during battle or a long trip for politics—hell, she had even resigned herself to adopt any child that he may have illegitimately with such women and bring the fucking whore (prostitute she corrected herself) under her command as a well-cared for servant—knowing that Sanji would not be able to abandon either the child or the woman.

That was the one thing she could say that she didn't like about Sanji. He was too… kind. With her, it wasn't such a problem, but he would save the honor of anyone—man or woman, commoner or whore—no matter who they were with if they were walking through the town. Maybe in time she could work that out of him. She was very skilled when it came to such persuasions.

Nami smiled to every maid she passed, and they smiled back with some confusion. It wasn't every day that Lady Nami acted so happily to someone so below her in status. When she stopped in front of Lord Sanji's door, though, they understood. And their smiles immediately dropped.

"My lady!"

Nami blinked, her hand resting on the doorknob, as she turned back to the one maid who had had enough courage to call out to her.

The maid shifted nervously, looking around to the other maids for help, but they all stared at the floor—not wanted to invoke Nami's wrath.

"M-My lady… the young lord… he's engaged in something… at the moment," she stammered, flinching when Nami's brow furrowed.

"Is he asleep?" It didn't matter if he was. Nami would wake him up, and if he was in bed, it would be all the better to her advantage. It meant less ways for him to escape if she pinned him down before he was even awake.

"I… uh, yes…!" the maid said quickly. "A-And he is very—"

"Then I shall wake him, you are dismissed," Nami grabbed the handle and pulled, starting at the flinch every maid in the area did, all reaching toward her as if to stop her.

The insolence…!

"My lady, I-I implore you, wait until morning!" the maid spoke up again, her voice stronger now. "The young lord does not like—"

"I am his fiancé," Nami snarled, her eyes cold, making everyone around her cringe backwards. "We are betrothed, and if I wish to see him, than I will!"

Another half-turn on the knob.

"No! My lady, he isn't asleep!" another maid spoke up. "He's—"

"Were you lying to me?" Nami cut in, glaring at the first maid. The young woman's eyes went so wide Nami wouldn't have been shocked if they'd fallen out of her head.

"N-No! No, my lady! I wasn't—"

"Remove yourself from my presence!" Nami ordered, her voice cold and dangerous, daring them to disobey her.

No one did. With one last worried look to each other, everyone around her scurried away and she was left alone in the dark hall.

Nami let go of the knob, leaning her head back and rolling her shoulders as she relaxed herself. It wouldn't do to storm into his room still infuriated at the maids and try to seduce him. Angry sex was not something she wanted to start this relationship on.

Nami slowly fixed her smile, let her eyelids drop halfway, and hung her arm seductively next to her hip so her fingers were slipping just slightly into her robes, and she pushed the door open.

The light that flooded into the hallway was warm, and Nami found herself blinking that Sanji could sleep with how bright it was, but then it hit her what her eyes were seeing and her arm fell limply to her side.

Neither had noticed her, too intent on each other, and the understanding of why the maids hadn't wanted her to go into his room hit her like a smack across the face.

Sanji and Zoro were laid out across the bed, and Nami couldn't even feel her fingers she felt so numb. The only conscious thought in her mind was that Zoro was where she was supposed to be. Zoro was in her place, the place she had been guaranteed tonight when her engagement had been formalized.

When Nami resigned herself to sharing Sanji with other women if he desired, she had not expected to see this, nor had she expected to need to give into it before their marriage even took place.

Zoro back was flush against the bed, his legs loosely around Sanji's waist as the blond man moved slowly against him, eliciting small groans and rushes of air that Nami could hear from across the room. Zoro reached up and tangled his hands into Sanji's much longer hair, pulling him down to run his tongue across Sanji's neck and chest. Sanji's head rolled back, his mouth falling open, and he braced himself on one hand to slide the other hand to the back of Zoro's thigh and bend his leg back further, making Zoro groan. The sound made Nami jolt. She wasn't stupid, she knew that nobles used younger boys for sex, but she had always been under the impression that the older noble, the one penetrating the younger man, was the only one who got any pleasure out of the sex. Here Zoro was—the strongest man she'd ever met aside from Lord Luffy, and also the gruffest one—lying like a woman under Sanji, and he sounded… euphoric. Not only that, but he was mere months younger than Sanji, and the two she knew were friends.

…She didn't understand.

It wasn't until Sanji stroked the back of Zoro's neck with one hand and Zoro reached up in turn to pull their mouths together did she understand, another painful slap across the face.

Sanji loves him.

"L-Lord Sanji…!"

Nami wasn't sure what made her call out, but whatever it was, both sets of eyes jerked to her.

And neither looked guilty.

"Sanji…" she tried again, and she did notice how Zoro's bulging muscles tightened as his grip on Sanji's shoulder did. Another slap. "Please… l-let me offer that service to you."

It's my duty as his wife, after all…

Sanji paused, and it made Nami flinch again. His eyes were so blank as he stared at her. She'd never seen him so aloof around her.

"You can't," Sanji replied calmly, turning back to the figure under him.

"But I have—!"

"You do not have the same parts as he does," Sanji cut in again. "My apologies Lady Nami, but I'll ask you to leave my quarters."

Nami felt her throat tighten, but she did as he said and backed out of the room, closing the door behind herself.

She leaned against the wood, trying to keep the tears inside her eyes as she breathed deeply.

Never before had she been… ignored like that. She couldn't remember the last time she had been placed second, even to Nojiko.

Idly she wondered if the reason Lord "Smoker" had never taken a wife was related to the fact that he and his General, Ace D. Portgas, were always seen together as well.

Nami straightened her posture and clenched her fists as she strode off down the hall, dark and cold now that the light from Sanji's room had been cut off, trying not to cry as she realized the only consolations she could have from this was that Sanji probably wouldn't begrudge her having her own partner, and the fact that he and Zoro could never marry.

Nami swallowed and took a deep breath.

"It's fine," she told herself. The reason I got into this in the first place was for the money. Just because she had been hopeful there for a moment didn't mean that she wouldn't get over it just as quickly.

But still… she couldn't get the adoring expressions on their faces toward each other out of her mind.

Martial, Epigrams, XI.43

"Bumming a boy again!" comes my wife's yell,

Demanding "Don't I have a rump as well?"

How many times did Juno ask Jove that,

When he and Ganymede played acrobat!

Hercules, bow-less, buggered Hylas' read

Though his wife had a bottom, never fear.

The flight of Daphne drove great Phoebus mad

Until he made it with a shepherd lad.

Achilles' wife bent for him like a crescent,

Yet he preferred a young male adolescent.

Don't think, my wife, your arse is male (or fine as).

To me what you have is just two vaginas.