A/N: Ok, so I was reading through some of the golden age comics from my library and I noticed that Dick always seemed to dress as a little girl when they went undercover. It got me thinking about how that might play out in Young Justice. So here is my interpretation.

There is no slash. Only warnings would be kidnapping.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.



"Not doing it."



Batman glowered at him but on this Dick refused to be cowed. His job description had many things: martial arts, agility, flexibility, brains, hacking, acting… but not this. He stared in distaste at the blonde wig he'd thrown on the ground.

"I am not dressing as a girl." Dick said firmly. "This wasn't part of my job description."

Batman's eyes narrowed slightly. That was the only sign of his impatience. This conversation had been going on for ten minutes already. It wasn't much of a conversation really. Ever since Bruce had explained what he was expecting Dick had been vehemently denying it and swearing up and down that he was not cross dressing.

"It is for the mission." Batman said again.

"Yea? Why don't you be the girl then?" Dick cried. He threw his arms up and kicked the appalling wig aside.

"I doubt I would be a convincing ten year old girl."

"But why do I have to dress up?" Dick insisted. "Can't we just bug him and follow him that way? Won't that work?"

"It would, but by then it could be too late. The girls have been going missing faster and more numerous each time. We have to stop it now."

"But why me?" Dick whined. This was possibly the most insane idea Bruce had ever come up with. There was absolutely no way he was wearing the long blonde wig, make up, and a dress.

"Do you know anyone else?" Bruce asked dryly. Dick said nothing, just glaring at the pile of hair on the floor. He wasn't doing this. No way. His mentor sighed deeply and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Dick, I'm only asking you to do this because we need to find the girls before anything bad happens to them or before more are taken. I know this isn't something you want to do, but it's a onetime thing."

Dick crossed his arms angrily, glaring at the floor. "What if I say no?" He demanded. "Can we bug him and just forget about the dress?"

"I won't make you."

"Then I'm not doing it."

Bruce gave another sigh. "Alright then." He agreed calmly. Too calmly. He went to the computer and started back on researching about the girls who'd gone missing.

It had started three nights ago. Eight girls had gone missing. There was no connection between them, no possibility they were runaways either, they didn't even look the same. The girls had simply disappeared. The girls had all vanished around the same time every day and in similar locations. They were also all around ten to fourteen years old.

Batman's data led him to believe it was the Mad Hatter who was kidnapping the girls. The question was how, why, and where. Batman and Robin hadn't been able to track the Mad Hatter and no one seemed to know where he was.

Bruce wanted Dick to go undercover- as a girl- to try and figure out what was going on. He was supposed to follow the trail Bruce had found and see if Mad Hatter tried to kidnap him. He was supposed to go with it long enough to find out where, why, and what Mad Hatter was doing. It was a great plan except for the tiny detail of him being a girl.

He was not doing it. No. Way.

"Master Bruce." Alfred walked down into the Batcave, a deep frown on his face. "Another girl has gone missing."

"Who now?" Bruce asked, turning to face the butler. A harrowed looked crossed the Bat's features. This was now nine in the past three days.

"A Miss Barbara Gordon. I believe you know her, Master Richard."

Dick paled. No way. Barbara? Barbara had been kidnapped? How? She was trained in the martial arts and her dad made sure she had a tazzer and pepper spray with her at all times. How could she have been kidnapped?

"If they kidnapped the police commissioner's daughter they must have something big in store." Batman said. You didn't take someone like that for a small thing. "Have they said anything about a ransom?"

"Nothing at all, sir."

"They're moving fast then. They'll be acting soon." Batman glared at the computer for a moment. "We need to find them now before they do anything worse."

"If Barbara was their last one then they may not need anything more." Dick said suddenly. "Whatever they're planning could happen now."

"Or not." Bruce said. He started typing away furiously. "Mad Hatter controls by mind control. What he could be using could pick the girls at random. Barbara Gordon being kidnapped may just be a glitch. He may not have meant to kidnap her."

"So now what?"

"We have to find them. Either way they'll be going faster. They'll be trying to get the rest of the girls as fast as they can to finish their plans, or they'll need to act soon. Neither is good."

Dick stared down at the wig on the floor and took a deep breath. "I'll do it."

"There is no sign of anything." Dick grumbled. He unconsciously pulled his skirt down lower as he walked down the street of Gotham. He hated this. Hated, hated, hated it.

The tights were itchy, the blonde wig annoying, the Mary Jane shoes pinched his feet, and he wanted to rub the stupid make up off his face more than anything in the world. For a moment he forgot why he'd agreed to this. Then he remembered: his friend had been kidnapped.

Sighing, Richard continued his way down the street. Batman had been able to locate a similar point that the girls all traveled on their daily routines. It was likely that they'd been kidnapped there. Richard was to follow the trail and hope someone would attempt to kidnap him.

Again he pulled at his dress. Alfred had enjoyed dressing him up and doing his makeup. He had always secretly suspected that Alfred had wanted a daughter or niece.

"Smile." Batman's voice sounded in his ear. Batman was trailing behind him over the rooftops. "You're supposed to be a happy ten year old."

Dick flashed a fake grin and stopped to peer into a toy store window. "Why am I ten again?" He asked. Just because he was short wasn't a good reason. He was twelve now for crying out loud.

"Because Mad Hatter will be more likely to kidnap you. He has a thing for girls who look like Alice."

"So that's what the blonde wig and blue dress were for." Dick muttered. He moved on from the toy store and started walking down the street again. If he was a ten year old girl where would he be kidnapped? Richard went to the pet store next. Little girls liked puppies and stuff, right? He stayed around. "Should I go in?" He asked.

"Might as well." Batman responded. "I won't be able to see you from inside. If anything goes wrong you'll have to contact me."

"If I don't come out then you'll know something's gone wrong." Dick muttered.

"Rachel Grayson, watch your tone."

Was it just Dick or was Batman actually teasing him? "I hate you." He hissed before he stepped into the store. He spread a wide smile on his face, pretending to be that blissful little girl he was supposed to be.

"Why hello there." A woman said. "What are you doing out here all alone?"

Dick looked up at the blonde woman and gave a shy smile. "My mommy said I could look for a pet." He said in his best imitation of a little girl.

The woman gave no sign she didn't believe him. She beamed. "How wonderful. What are you looking for?"

Dick frowned as he thought. What would he be looking for? "A rabbit." He said. That sounded like something the Mad Hatter would be interested in. "A march hare."

"Oh, we don't sell bunnies here." The woman's tone suddenly dropped an octave and a look passed over her face. "But if you go around back you'll find the rabbit hole."

"Thank you." Dick said with another smile. He followed her pointed finger out the backdoor.

"March Hare." Dick whispered into his microphone. "The code word was March Hare. I'm going out the backdoor now."

"Be careful." Batman's voice sounded.

Dick treaded carefully through the back alley. Where was the Rabbit Hole? Suddenly a man with a large top hat appeared from the shadows. "Why hello there Alice." He said.

"Hello Mr. Mad Hatter." Dick greeted, pretending to be brainwashed.

"Are you ready for tea my dear?"

"Why yes, Mr. Mad Hatter."

"Lovely. This way please." Mad Hatter grabbed his elbow and escorted him down the alley way. In the back a small car was waiting. Dick was shoved inside next to two other girls, all blondes this time.

"There we go. We have three of each hair color. We're good." Mad Hatter said. He climbed into the front of the car with another man, a thin man with a twitchy mustache. The Mad Hatter turned around and beamed at the girls. "We're on our way my dearies."

Dick waited until the car had started before he contacted Batman. There was a divider between them and the Hatter. "B, can you hear me?" He whispered. The two girls didn't notice him speaking. They stared straight ahead.

"I hear you. Where are you?"

"We're in a car. There are two other girls with me." Dick quickly described the car, glancing around nervously. Neither Mat Hatter or the thug seemed to notice him.

"I see it. I'm following you. Keep acting."

Dick said nothing more. He followed the lead from the two brain washed girls and stared straight ahead. They moved on in the car. The windows must have been tinted for no one seemed to notice anything odd. They drove all the way to the docks. There the Hatter let them out and led them onto a small boat.

His fingers twitched as the thug sat him in the boat. He stayed like the girls though, frozen and staring straight ahead. He wanted desperately to call Batman though. He didn't like pretending to be helpless. He didn't like just standing here. And, he had to admit, the whole dress was making him nervous.

"I see you. You're doing well. Stay still." Batman's voice was comforting in his ear. Bruce must have seen the twitch. Luckily the Hatter and his thug didn't see anything off.

"It's creepy seeing them not moving." The thug whispered.

Hatter smiled and tapped his hat. "It's all the mind control, my man. The little Alices simply follow my every command. Here I have ordered them to stay still, and so they shall."

"It's still creepy." The man whispered.

They steered the small ship towards a bigger on until they were sandwiched between three larger boats, hidden from view.

"Up the ladder, dearies." Hatter commanded. One by one the girls climbed a rope ladder up to the deck of one of the ships. Dick searched for a name, finally spotting one. The Margret.

"This way, Alice." Hatter led them down into the hull of the ship. Dick gulped. He knew this place! He'd been here before. This boat was owned by one of the Gotham's socialites. The one whose wife always pinched his cheeks too hard and the man who laughed loudly even when jokes weren't funny.

Dick inhaled deeply when they were seated. Between the boxes were the other missing girls. Dick's eyes honed on Barbara. She, like the other girls, was sitting perfectly still and staring straight ahead.

"Now you just wait here, Alice." Hatter was saying. "I will come and get you when it is time for tea."

"Is that all of them, boss?" The thug asked.

"Yes. We can inform our client that his girls are ready for departure."

Dick gulped. Where were they going?

"Now don't leave, Alice. We wouldn't want the Queen of Hearts to find you." Mad Hatter said. He tipped his hat to them as he closed the door.

Dick counted their steps until he was sure they were gone. Then he sprang up. "Batman? Batman, come in."

"I'm here. What ship are you on?"

"The Margret. That guy from your parties must have ordered the girls kidnapped. It's his ship."

"Is he there?"

"No. Hatter said he's contacting him and then we're leaving."

"Stay there."

"Will do. I'm going to see if I can wake the girls."

Dick hurried to Barbara's side first. He shook the girl but she didn't move. "Babs, Babs, get up." He hissed. He shook her harder. Nothing. "Barbara, snap out of it!" Still Barbara didn't even acknowledge him. She just kept staring forward. "Babs!" In order to get rid of the mind control he'd have to find the source: Mad Hatter. He had to have something on him to constantly control the girls.

Just then he heard a sound outside. He dove back into his seat and stared straight ahead again. His heart raced wildly as the door opened. The man from the parties stepped inside along with Mad Hatter and another man. The man with the socialite was tall and thin and wore a bowler hat. Dick's skin crawled. He didn't like the look of that man.

"Here are the girls you requested." The socialite said. Adam. That was his name, Dick remembered. Adam seemed rather disgusted by the turn of events.

"Three of each hair color, just as we requested." The bowler hat guy knelt before Dick. "How do you keep them so tame?"

"That was my bidding, sir." Mad Hatter spoke up.

Bowler Hat nodded. "Perhaps my boss will have future work for you as well."

"Kidnapping is generally not my priority." Mad Hatter said with a roll of his eyes. "However, if the price is right…."

"We'll see. For now, continue doing your job. You have to keep them subdued until we get them into international waters." Bowler Hat inspected Dick. He grabbed his face and Dick struggled to keep from punching the guy. "What is your name girl?"

He said nothing until Mad Hatter told him to. "Rachel." He said.

"How old are you?"


Bowler Hat nodded. "Good. Just what he wants." Dick didn't know who he was but he was fairly certain he didn't want to know.

Adam made an odd choked sound. "Are you sure you don't want something else?" He asked.

"The boss wants the girls, as he had told you before. You were indebted to pay him in whatever currency he wished. This is his wish and you will fulfill it." Bowler Hat said firmly. He moved away from Dick to glare at Adam. "You are going to go on deck and pretend to play along until we are out of this city."

Adam barely seemed to hear him. "I mean, if it was just some street kids that's one thing, but you insisted you wanted them refined. And, geeze, they're just little kids! And then you went and took the Commissioner's daughter! How much trouble do you think I'll be in if they find out?"

Bowler Hat gave him a cold caculated glare. "You'll be in more trouble if you do something to stop it now." He swept out of the room with a call of, "Get this ship into international waters before the police or the Bat arrives."

"Do you have all your men on board?" Hatter questioned, following him out. With one last worried glance, Adam followed as well.

Batman's voice immediately sounded. "Are you alright?"

"Yea. Freaked out, but fine. Are you getting here soon?"

"The police are on their way. I'm coming in to get you. Do not act." Batman's voice was gone. Dick stood up and quickly went to trying to wake the girls again. Nothing.

He jumped when a round of gunfire went off up above. Batman must have arrived. Dick pulled out his utility belt and fiddled through it. Right now, in this get up, the best he could do would be to protect the girls. He'd have to rely on Batman to stop Hatter.

At least he had to until the door flung open and Bowler Hat and Mad Hatter entered. "Are the girls-" Bowler Hat was saying until he caught sight of Dick.

"What are you doing, Alice?" Mad Hatter demanded.

Dick only hesitated a moment before throwing a handful of batarangs at them. "What the heck is your girl doing?" Bowler Hat cried.

"Girls, stop her!" Mad Hatter exclaimed.

A moment later all the girls were up. They tacked Dick to the ground. "Woa! Hey, stop that!" Dick cried. "I'm trying to save you! Barbara, stop it!"

Dick tore himself from their grip as best he could. Never had he hated the getup as much as he did now. Between the shoes and the dress he could barely do anything. When one of the girls yanked his blonde wig off that only made matters worse.

"What's this?" Bowler Hat cried. "She's not a blonde."

Dick pried himself away and flipped backwards up onto a crate. He wiped at his makeup. So much for the disguise. "That's not even a girl!" Bowler Hat exclaimed.

He whipped the mask out of his utility belt and put it on. "Stop right there Hatter!" He ordered in his normal voice.

"Why Robin, I never knew you were a girl." Hatter laughed.

Robin flushed. He grabbed his batarangs and threw them at the man. Hatter pulled out a gun. Dick's eyes widened. He couldn't stay here. The girls were already trying to climb up. He knew Hatter wouldn't hesitate to shoot them.

Robin flew over the boxes and kicked open the door. "Shoot him!" he heard Bowler Hat yelling. Then Bowler Hat and Mad Hatter were sprinting after him. Once they were out of the way shots rang out as Hatter attempted to hit him. A louder gun sounded too. Bowler Hat must have had one too.

"Batman, where are you?" Robin demanded.

There was silence for a moment. Then, "Deck."

"On my way."

"Stay with the hostages."

"I can't. They're trying to shoot me." Robin yelped as a bullet whizzed past his ear. Thank god Hatter wasn't an experienced shooter. He needed to get out in the open though, out of the tiny corridors of the ship to where it was safe. He broke open a nearby door. Perfect.

He smashed through the windows of the room and bounded out onto the deck. He winced as he felt shards of glass embed into his arms. He missed his suit with its Kevlar really badly now. These shoes were terrible for running in too. He shot out his grappling gun, catching onto the next level up's railing. He shot upwards just as the two men came out through the window. "Where did he go?" Bowler Hat demanded.

Robin clutched a batarang. He'd only have one shot. He jumped off the ledge at the same time he threw the batarang. His batarang hit Bowler Hat's hand, knocking the gun out of it. He used his force to slam into Bowler Hat. A quick punch and the man was out.

He lunged at Hatter before he had time to react. "How are you controlling the girls?" Robin demanded. He pushed his knee into Hatter's neck. "Tell me."

"Now, dear Alice, why would I do that?"

"I'm not Alice! I'm Robin!" He cried indignantly. He'd never get to live down this night, would he?

Hatter started to sing. "Twinkle twinkle little bat, how I wonder where you're at. Up above the world you fly, like a tea tray in the sky-"

"Hatter, tell me now." Robin hissed. "I am wearing this stupid dress and I am not in a good mood so tell me. Right. Now."

Mad Hatter studied him a moment before he gave a soft whimper as Robin's knee pressed firmer into his neck. "My hat." He said softly. Robin ripped it off. "And the bowtie." Hatter added. Robin took both and shoved the bowtie inside the hat. Then he threw it into the air and threw three explosives after it. The bits of hat fluttered to the ground.

Batman rounded the corner just then. "I got it." Robin said with a grin. "The mind control should be broken."

"Good. Go get the girls."

"You go get the girls." Robin exclaimed. "I've already ruined my reputation enough!"

This made Batman smirk. "Fine. Tie him up."

Robin didn't need to be told twice. He quickly secured Hatter and then the other thugs. Luckily they were all out cold. They didn't need to see him in the dress. Sirens sounded as Batman appeared back on deck with the rest of the girls. Robin placed Hatter with the other thugs and quickly jumped up into the shadows of the ship.

"Stay here until the police arrive." Batman said as he led the girls up on deck. He was explaining to Barbarba what to tell the Commissioner had happened. Then, satsified that they were safe, he nodded to Robin. And just as the police were getting onto the deck Batman and Robin swung into the Bat Plane.

"Bruce," Dick flung the door open to Bruce's room early the next morning. "Bruce, get up!"

His guardian groaned from the sudden intrusion. Dick was always an early bird. Bruce never was. "What is it?" He mumbled.

Dick flung that day's newspaper at him. "I just wanted to let you know that I hate you." Dick glared at him before storming off down the hall. "Wally will never let me live this down! Heck, Barbara won't and she doesn't even know I'm Robin. Even the villains are going to make fun of me!"

Bruce sat up sleepily and stared at the headline.

Robin: The Girl Wonder?

A/N: Well… I hope you enjoyed what I just wrote. I'm not really sure what made me write this in the first place, but I hope you liked it! Please let me know what you thought!