The Fanfic you've probably never heard off
"Just look at them. With the-the plaid scarfs and the tight pants and glasses and–Who the fuck wears a plaid scarf besides the Jonas Brothers? Pathetic dude, I'm just- Im dropping this class."- Dean mumbled and grunted to his brother Sam who sat neatly next to him in their class, while Dean had his legs propped on the table, hand scratching at his chin, eyes concentrated sharply on the group of hipsters on their right.
"You wanna know what's more pathetic?"- Sam prompted.
"That they wear glasses without lenses?"
"That you are four years older than me, and we're in the same class."
"Shut up."- And with that the teacher Victor Henricksen bamboozled inside the classroom. He taught social studies , and because Dean didn't understand what this class was about he figured it should be easy. But he hadn't counted on the hipsters there.
"Alright everyone shut up and take you seats."- Victor said dismissively as he took a stand by his desk.
The room fell silent as everyone finally settled.
"Now sense this is you first class with me, as it is mine, we will all introduce ourselves."
"Fuuuck..."- Dean drawled beside Sam, rubbing a hand over his forehead.
"I will start. Hello, my name is Victor, I teach social studies, I will not tolerate any wank in this class, and I like my coffee strong. Now its your turn."
The students introduced themselves one after another, while Dean fiddled with his phone, not really paying attention. Until something made his head snap up.
"My name is Castiel Novak. I don't believe anyone would care to know more."- The gravelly voice caught Dean's attention. Amused he turned his head to find the source of his interest until he saw...
One of them. The Hipsters.
The guy, oh God, Castiel was wearing a grey t-shirt with some absurd image of a circle adorned with some symbols, an overly big dark green hoodie and overly ripped jeans, past the point of fashionable. He had very rumpled hair and dark stubble.
Then another one, a tall blond, also stubbly stood up, looking a lot more confident than his friend next to him.
"Hello my comrades, my name is Lucifer Novak. I believe than everyone wants to know everything there is to know about me. I sincerely hope that's the case. In which I would inform you that I like Marlboro Red's. Which is consequently all you need to know. A universal paradox, I know."- And with that he sat down, smirk proudly set on his face.
"What the fuck did he just say?"- Sam asked, whispering bewilderedly from his left.
"Stop it with the hipster thing, it's like you just learnt a new word and cant stop using it." –Sam sighed exasperated.
"Dean! Dean Winchester!"- The teachers voice ( alongside Sam's elbow in his ribs ) startled him out of his mission in glaring the hipster out of the hipsters.
He gradually stood up, putting on his winning grin and said " My name is Dean Winchester. I'm an Aquarius. I like long walks on the beach and frisky men." – And with that he took his seat in triumph.
"And you?"- Victor nodded towards Sam.
"Uh, I'm Sam Winchester. I like books and good movies. And, uh, that's pretty much it."- Sam fiddled with his words and took his seat with a sigh of relief.
"Did your panties get stuck in your asscrack again or-"
"Shut up ,Dean!"
The class went on and on and Dean just about fell asleep while Sam eagerly wrote everything down, while the teacher spoke.
Apparently he really had nodded off.
Because the next thing he knows is this voice, this throat-fucked voice, that just about goes hand in hand with that quiver of pleasure down his pants.
"Dean. Dean, wake up."- And a strong shake of his shoulder.
"Fuck."- Dean grumbles as he staggers up in his chair, surprised out of his sleep.
He scratches at his eyes only to open them and see.
It's Castiel, the I'm-too-pretentious-to-share-my-bio-with-the-rest-of-the-class-and-I'm-hoping-to-leave-an-aura-of-mystery-around-me-so-I'll-get-invited-to-all-the-parties-while-not-actually-attend-any-making-me-seem-even-more-exlusive-and-unnatinable.
"The hell are you doing?"- Dean quickly stood up from his seat, expecting a fight in his confusion.
"Dean, it's time we start."- Castiel said in an ominous voice, eyes unblinking.
"Start what? Dude, am I dreaming?"- He said as he finally saw his surroundings. He was indeed in the same classroom he remembers entering only it was completely empty. Save for this guy. And him.
"You are most certainly not dreaming. However we still need to get started on our project."- The hipster said in a very serious tone.
"What project?"- Dean seemed to be getting somewhat sober from his nap, scratching a hand over his hair.
"On American health. You seemed to have slept while the teacher explained our assignment. It has to be done within a week's time. You and I were paired together to work. Everyone left with their partners, while you were, ahem, hard to contact. I suggest we start working on this project immediately, for time is not in our favor. Now you will take me to your sleeping quarter."-
"Woah, woah, woah."- Dean exclaimed while waving his hands expressively. What was up with this guy's vocabulary? 'Sleeping quarter'? What the fuck?
"First of all, where's Sam?"- Dean asked the first and most important question that needed answering.
"He and his partner, who is my coincidently my brother, Lucifer went to write their project. Now we must go for time is wasted."- He said and wooshed his way out of the room, dragging Dean with him.
"Dude, I'm not trying to diss you or anything-
"I already feel dissed."
"But, what the fuck are you singing?" Sam asked his partner, Lucifer who layed splayed on his bed, while Sam sat crossed-legged on his room-mates Castiel's bed, laptop propped on his knees.
"Single Ladies. I swear it's like, totes the worst song anyone has ever written and/or sang."- Lucifer said as he dodged a tennis-ball of the wall in front.
"Then why do you keep singing it?"
"I can't get it out of my head."
"Just, get your laptop, and please work with me here."
Lucifer sighed, but nevertheless, got up and fetched his white Apple.
"We could write how Veganism as an alternative lifestyle could perhaps help with the growing problem of obesity in America."
"Aw, dude, hell no, we are not promoting Vegans in out paper."- Dean said decisively as he and Castiel sat on his bed in his room. Just his like to be stuck with a hipster. And now they had to have that prolonged discussion on why and why not should we eat meat, and how Vegans are superior and what not.
"Promoting would mean commercializing it, which we are not doing as that would mean propaganda which would be manipulating. I only advise to consider and learn about vegetarian food, if not about Veganism, which is more constricting." – Castiel said matter-of-factly in that grim voice of his.
"Eating a cheeseburger now and then is not a sin, Cas." –The nickname just kept slipping, and Castiel didn't even blink so it was cool.
"I am not saying nor implying that it is a sin, for believing in sins would mean that I am religiously bound. As a deist I am not constricted by sins, however I hold my own personal morals."
"Dude, I don't really give a crap if you're an atheist-
"I'm a deist."
"It means that I do believe in the possibillity a higher force, or perhaps forces however I also believe that it can also be scientifically proven and explained."
Dean sighed in aggravation and rubbed his forehead for the tenth time in his time with Castiel.
"Fucking hipsters ,dude." –He thought to voice this to himself however his words slipped his mouth.
"I beg your pardon?"- Castiel prompted unsurely, as if he really didn't get what Dean said.
"You, you talk all, proper and pompus but, you look like a sewer rat, and you people listen to the crappiest music, and-and try so hard to be different, and you never hang out with someone outside your little clique... " –Dean caught himself vomiting out words of frustration.
Although the look on Castiel's face made him regret his words in an instant.
"I can also generalize you, Dean. I can say that you're a typical redneck, that you try so hard to pull off that southern drawl, that you look like trailer trash, and that you desperately try to prove to yourself as the people around you how macho you really are, and that besides the fact that you are homosexual you are in no case or reason flamboyant. But I don't Dean. Because I wanted to give you a chance and not dismiss you as a hick. I suppose my favor was not returned."- Castiel said coldly, his deep voice going an octave lower, making Dean shiver.
He slowly stood up and grabbed his bag.
"Maybe the reason I don't 'hang out with someone other than my clique' is because I try to avoid ignorant bastards like you. You are awfully opinionated for someone who hasn't the slightest idea who I am." He walked towards the door but stopped again.
"The internet is not the most trustworthy place of knowledge. I would advise you against googling hipsters and emotions. Although I'm sure you'll get a good laugh." –And with that the slammed the door.
For once in his life Dean was left speechless.
And for the hundredth time in his existence, he was left feeling like an A-list asshole.
"Lucifer, would you please, please, stop sending me links, we really, really, seriously, need to get to work."- Sam was shaking with aggravation, as he stared at the newest link that popped onto his laptop. Sam suggested they add themselves on AIM so they could send links back and forth between them to find the material they needed for their presentation.
Apparently it was a bad idea.
"You know Keyboard Cat right?" –Lucifer said chuckling from the other bed.
"Yes, I do."- Sam had his fair share of lonely nights watching funny youtube videos.
"Then, please, just watch it, I promise you it's the best."- Lucifer eyed him eagerly from across the room.
Sam tried staring him down, though it was useless against Lucifer's grinning face.
"Fine, but just this once, and no more videos. Got it?"- Sam deflated with a sigh.
"Capish!"- Lucifer exclaimed in victory.
Sam opened the link titled Keyboard Cat- Redux and found Rob Livingston dressed as a cat playing the piano.
And honest to God he tried not laughing. He tried. And failed miserably if the guffaws of laughter was anything to go by.
"See, I knew you'd like it." –Lucifer chuckled with him.
Suddenly someone burst through the door.
Sam recognized the man as the 'fucking hipster' as his brother had named him. Although he looked pretty troubled if the brow furrow was anything to go by.
"Hey, Cas. Meet Sam, he's nice."- Lucifer said in a peachy manner.
"Hello, Sam."- He said grimly.
"Dude, what's wrong?"- Lucifer surprised Sam with the sudden change in attitude. He went from snarky, sarcastic to mother hen in a split second.
"Nothing, I-I better leave you two to your work."- Castiel seemed embarrassed for intruding, though Sam couldn't realize why, it was his room after all.
"Just come over here, and tell your big bro what's been up. Sam's cool."- Castiel eyed Lucifer's outstretched hand indecisively but took it in his own, whilst being pulled on the bed with Lucifer.
Lucifer wrapped his arms around his brother's tummy protectively.
"I-Its nothing really, just, your brother seems to have a very... Bold personality."- Castiel said unsurely.
"He was a jackass to you right?"- Sam sighed once more, rubbing a hand over his face, guessing what must have happened.
"You could say that."- Lucifer chuckled behind Castiel's back, but continued rubbing a hand over his brother's small tummy. It amazed Sam how comforting Lucifer seemed. It reminded him of his younger self and Dean. He felt very out of place, like intruding in a private moment.
"Listen, Dean may be an ass half of the time, but he means well. I'm sure he's wallowing in self-pity by now. He'll probably come crawling back to you apologizing."- It was the way Dean worked. If he cared so much to insult someone, than he cared as much to apologize.
"Thank you, Sam, that is comforting."- Castiel said glumly staring off into space in Lucifer's arms.
"I'll leave you two to sort out whatever-"
"Shut up and sit down. We're watching Rumble Fish to get Cassie back in his usual stick-up-his-but self. And you're watching it with us." Lucifer said as he unwrapped his arms away from Castiel and towards his DVD collection.
"I-I really should-" –Sam tried backing away from this situation.
"Sit down." –Which was fruitless.
So this is a little break from a Cinderfella story, which I promise I will update as soon as possible. It's just that I don't want to half-ass it, I want it to be great and everything else.
In the meantime have some Hipster AU. :D I have to confess I myself half a love for hipster things, and I don't really like how people generalize hipsters as bad or whatever. We're all people regardless if you listen to pop or funk or indie. You should judge a person based on their personalities not their sense of music or fashion.
So some trivia:
The symbol on Cas's shirt is the enochian symbols he has carved in his skin in Supernatural.
The video Lucifer send's Sam is actually real and please check it out, just write keyboard cat on youtube and you'll see Keyboard Cat redux and it's just perfect and really hilarious.
More would be coming, we will be seeing The Drums, Madonna, possible Dean in a cowboy get up, and Lucifer raving, and a hilarious Zachariah. Oh, and let's not forget a lot of man love and whatnot. :D
Also what are your opinions on the newest episode? To be frank I thought it was funny, but not as funny as the other fillers they've had. Though I have to come clean about this: I clapped like a deaf seal for 15 minutes straight while laughing soundlessly when I saw that Becky was the bride. :D
Reviews keep the author going! :D