Rocky Horror Picture Ed

Part I

By Brenna "Snakelady" Dawkins

An Ed, Edd, and Eddy Fanfic

Disclaimer: All characters are owned by Danny Antonucci, aka Cartoon, and Cartoon Network. I own nothing. Nothing I tell you! No money was made from this fic.

Rating: R

Summary: Edd's the star of a particularly popular play which makes Eddy both jealous and amorous at the same time. Edd as Dr Frank N. Furter and Eddy as Eddie. My Halloween offering albeit a bit late. Eddy/Edd. Contains language, sexual themes, nudity

Eddy was annoyed. Edd hadn't been waiting for him once he'd gotten out of detention like he always had done back in junior high. Now that they were in high school it seemed as if Edd's personal schedule was putting even more demands on the lanky youth's time and Eddy didn't like that one bit. Edd seemed to be concerned with something called extra curricular activities and for some reason that Eddy couldn't understand as being important it supposedly played a part in college applications or something. Not that HE cared since he wasn't about to become a professional student like Edd. Once high school was over he was done with school! He was nervous when he saw Edd already sending out inquiries to universities, some several states away from the name of them. The idea of the three Ed's splitting up pained him considerably. He didn't see why Edd couldn't go to the local community college in Peach Creek if the youth insisted on higher learning. Edd's answer had been in the form of statistics and numbers and percentages which he immediately had tuned out on.

He got home and sat himself in front of the tv with a soda and some chips. A half hour later, there was a knock on the outside door to his room. Upon answering, he found a very elated Edd who looked about to gush all over him with whatever news was apparently bottled up inside. Used to this by now, he rolled his eyes and let Edd into his domicile.

"Oh, Eddy!" Edd seemed fit to burst with good news. "It's so terribly exciting! Quite an honor, really!"

"Yeah, yeah. Hurry up and tell me already before the commercial breaks are over." Eddy said bored already and sat back on the edge of his bed.

Edd bounced over across the room and took a seat near his best friend. "I'm in a play at the local theater! Not only did they seem entranced by my acting skills but they went so far as to give me the lead roll! Isn't that simply thrilling?"

A play? All this over some dumb play? Eddy cast Edd a side long glance. "You… you who can't sell gold painted jewelry to kids or fool anyone into thinking wouldn't it be nice to be a gerbil for a while?"

Edd was used to Eddy's typical ego deflating snide comments when ever he had news that was good only for himself so he refused to rise to Eddy's quip.

"We were just kids then, Eddy. I've since grown up and I've had hopes that you did too." He was simply riding on cloud nine and would not be brought down anytime soon. "It's a musical! I'll be singing and everything! I've never really sung before but that didn't seem to matter to them. They thought I was perfect for the part!"

"Yeah… terrific, excitin' and stuff." Eddy mumbled.

Lead roll? Since when did Edd get into such sissy stuff like plays and all? He'll be prancing around in some ridiculous costume and make a fool of himself in front of… oh like anyone would even go to some dumb play!

Edd blushed a little. "As soon as I heard our local troupe was auditioning for this particular play, I thought I'd try pushing my comfort zone a little and tried for the lead whose character apparently is tremendously popular among fans of this musical."

To Eddy musicals equaled boring so he was doing his best to tune Edd out. The youth could go on and on more often then not.

"In fact… I have to learn how to walk AND run in high heels."

THAT got Eddy's attention and he swiveled his head back around to stare at a blushing Edd.

"Double D… what the hell sorta play are you IN?" He was now curious at last.

"Thought you'd never ask." Edd lowered his head and dropped his gaze as his blush intensified. "Rocky Horror Picture Show."

Eddy blinked. "Never heard of it. So… it's some sorta weird… horror play or somethin'? Hell… might be interesting. I'd watch just to see if you stumble and fall on yer ass on stage while in those heels."

Edd harrumphed and dug into his messenger bag he had with him. He pulled out a pair of gaudy elevator platform heels that looked like they had sequins glued all over.

"What the hell?" Eddy stared at them. "Don't tell me the lead roll… is some CHICK?" And he burst out laughing at Edd's expense.

Edd shook his head and began to remove his shoes, neatly putting them on the floor and started to strap on the heels. He had to begin practicing as soon as possible. Maybe Eddy would actually help him walk around in them for a while? He wasn't going to hold his breath however but he'd give his friend a chance to be human about it.

Eddy watched entranced for some reason. Then he blinked. "Wait… so… the lead roll ain't a chick… so… yer… a guy…." Edd nodded. "… in heels?" Edd nodded again and the blush came back enduringly. Eddy continued to stare at the boys legs and had to shake his head to dispel some uncomfortable thoughts.

Edd put his hand on Eddy's shoulder and Eddy froze, wondering what Edd thought he was doing. This was just really weird, he thought nervously. But apparently Edd only used him as leverage in helping himself stand. Edd's legs wobbled and he felt like he was going to pitch forward and almost nearly did if not for Eddy's quick save. Eddy soon found his arms full of the long boy who was sprawled awkwardly across him. He didn't have that great a hold on him as Edd's arms were spread eagle and his hands were pressed against Edd's upper back, pressing the boy's body against his in trying to keep Edd from slipping through his grip.

"I think you gotta work on STANDING in these things 'fore you try walking… let alone RUNNING!" Eddy smirked.

Edd was blushing furiously and wanted to melt to the floor in shame for his clutziness. How mortifying! But Eddy had actually saved him! That was surprising in of itself!

"I… I think you're right." Edd mumbled in embarrassment as he tried to get himself back on his feet with Eddy's welcomed assistance. "Would… would you mind… helping… me?" Edd babbled nervously as he leaned against Eddy for support both physically and mentally. Feeling Eddy's strong arms around him a moment ago had sent him into a place he tried to no longer visit. He'd pined after Eddy for longer then he could remember and so far as he could tell there was no reciprocation on Eddy's end. So he'd done his best to try to bury those latent feelings that seemed to persist whether he wanted them to or not. Not spending every day with Eddy like they had done all through junior high didn't help matters like he'd hoped. He'd tried to keep extremely busy in order to throw his energy into something other then what he saw as a lost cause. He blushed when Eddy hooked his arm through his own in an apparent gesture of helpfulness that further confused Edd. Eddy rarely offered any sort of assistance in anything especially if it didn't get him anything in return. Edd beamed gratefully down at Eddy with blush still in full force. No, he mustn't think of that now when he had to concentrate on the heels.

So with much wobbling and many near death experiences, they spent about an hour walking about in Eddy's room with Eddy at Edd's elbow the whole time. Edd couldn't help but soak up how good it felt to be so close to Eddy like that. At least he had an excuse now to be so clingy upon Eddy's person. Though any progress he might have made the past month and a half in removing himself from Eddy's presence was squarely squashed by now. Edd was shaking now though it wasn't from walking in the heels as he was slowly getting the hang of it at this point. He felt Eddy's arms encircle him completely and he felt that his heart would burst as he found himself in an embrace and he couldn't keep from letting his head droop onto Eddy's shoulder.

"I think we oughta stop now… yer shakin' all over from those damn heels. C'mon… let's take a break and watch a show or somethin'." Eddy suggested as by now he was rather bored with their venture and he was disturbed by the images of others gawking at Edd while in heels on stage for a reason he wouldn't allow himself to fathom just yet.

Edd was more then willing to let Eddy think that was the reason behind his tremors. They sat down on the edge of Eddy's bed and Edd found he was rather relieved to get off his feet. His calves were aching and he let out a little moan as he tried his best to massage them but they were a little awkward for him.

"What's wrong with you?" Eddy had noticed.

"Heels put your feet into such a position that puts a strain on calf muscles. O-o-oh… I don't know if I'll be able to walk any time soon." He moaned a little again as he tried his best to work out the sore muscles but he was loathe to cause himself even more pain. He let out a little gasp when Eddy suddenly took the leg nearest and put it in his lap and began to massage it. Edd stared as Eddy's action forced his torso to turn around and he now had Eddy in full view with his fingers tending to his leg muscles. His heart fluttered again and he had to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. Eddy's hands were on his legs! How he wished the muscle spasms had happened on his thighs! The thought of Eddy's hands up even higher on his legs made his blush return full force but he dared not say anything since any distraction might bring Eddy back to his senses and the boy may decline any further help in that area.

Eddy hadn't known what had come over him. Edd's piteous sounds had gotten to him somehow and now he found himself working the strain out of the youths legs without thinking about it. Every now and again he'd work over a particular spot that would force an enduring, fluttering sound out of the owner of that leg and he'd seek to create more of those sounds. Edd didn't pull his leg back so he supposed he wasn't hurting his friend, in fact when he glanced up he found Edd's eyes closed and an actual look of what could only be bliss on the young mans face.

This was getting very weird, Eddy thought but couldn't bring himself to relinquish the leg. Edd moved his other calf onto Eddy's lap, hopeful that Eddy would work on the other leg as well. When he opened his eyes he felt the full weight of Eddy's stare upon him and he suddenly wondered if he'd pushed a little too far a little too fast for Eddy. But it HAD been Eddy's idea to massage his leg, he hadn't asked! Edd held his breath and sat stock still.

Eddy jumped off the bed quite willing to answer the knock on his door. The action flung Edd's legs away and Edd nearly slipped off the bed with the gesture. His heart sunk and he slumped a bit as he sensed Eddy's discomfort and he felt a little incensed by the interruption. Now he had no way of knowing if Eddy would have proceeded to take care of his other leg or not.

It was Ed and Edd knew that any chance of further heel practice for the day would be suspended… at least practice with Eddy's much needed assistance. The next few days Edd did his best to avoid Eddy and he was disappointed to discover that Eddy didn't make any attempt to seek him out either. He did what he could to practice in heels on his own though it wasn't nearly as rewarding as when he had Eddy at his arm. Plus he had no assistance against leg cramping though the more he wore the shoes the less they tended to cramp on him. Soon he was able to walk the stairs with no wobble in them. By the end of the week he could walk about the whole house at a steady keel. He finally got the script and a recording of his songs so he knew where to put in whatever sort of inflections were required when he sang them.

He missed Eddy terribly during the first week and a half of rehearsals. He wondered fleetingly if Eddy missed him at all and he found himself feeling somewhat depressed. When that happened he threw everything that he could spare into the play and into his homework. Only Ed had bothered inviting himself over occasionally while Eddy still made himself scarce. The idea of being ostracized by Eddy pained him and one evening he'd gone into the group dressing room, hunkered down and had a good cry.

Edd was still feeling down a month later until it was discovered that one of the actors had come down with appendicitis and could not go on. The play was only a few days away and they'd already been finishing up with dress rehearsals. They quickly reopened auditions and Edd jumped at having such an auspicious way at getting Eddy back into his life.

Eddy wasn't expecting a knock on his door and wasn't sure how he felt about his latest guest.

"Thought'cha was doin' yer play stuff." He mumbled and went back into his room leaving the door open and Edd standing at the precipice.

Edd walked in deciding not to wait for an invitation.

"W-well I have been. And something's come up. Eddy? How would you like to be on stage and perform an important song in the play? You wouldn't have to memorize any lines, just the song. You'd get to ride a prop motorcycle and be… well… be your typical self on stage… singing a rock and roll song. How does that grab you?" Edd asked feeling anxious and wringing his hands afraid that Eddy would turn down the offer.

Eddy looked over at Edd suspiciously.

"What do you mean… be my normal self? Does that mean I don't have to wear some lame costume or anything? I just get on the stage and motorcycle, ride around and sing?"

"I mean precisely what I say. The character was tailor made for you, Eddy. In fact, he shares your name. I brought a tape over with the song you're to sing on it as well as the lines." He said hopeful once more.

"Rock and roll, huh? What the hell? Might be fun."

"A-and," Edd wasn't sure if he should tell Eddy who he's singing the song with because the idea of Eddy having some girl fawn all over him excitedly made his stomach lurch. "… well, you sing it with this one female character… who's crazy for your… character."

"Really?" Eddy perked up at that and grabbed up his part of the script.

His eyes flew over the lyrics and fell onto the stage direction. "Woah… I get to pretty much roll around on the stage with her? Is she hot?"

Jealousy burned within Edd's being and a slight flush crept into his cheeks. He shrugged helplessly. "I g-guess so. J-just remember… it's all an act. It's not the real thing." He said that mostly for his own benefit to remind himself that most girls tended to shy away from the blustering youth.

"Yeah, yeah… but who knows… maybe she'll fall for me 'cause I'm such a good singer and all and then we'll go out and stuff!"

Edd bristled internally at the idea of some female stealing Eddy away from him. Not that he ever HAD Eddy officially. However they were such close friends that he'd heard whisperings behind their backs at school as to whether or not they really were a couple which always made Edd feel giddy.

"Let me play the song for you." Edd didn't want to talk about HER anymore and pressed the play button on the cassette player.

The song wasn't that long but it had a jaunty up beat that was rather infectious. He decided he wouldn't tell Eddy what his characters fate would be as Eddy might back out and Edd really, really wanted Eddy to take part. It would be fun to be on the stage together.

After the song ended, Eddy quipped, "Hey, that wasn't half bad! I'll do it! When does the play open?"

Edd managed to look embarrassed about that. "Well… in two days. We didn't really bother with understudies for some reason and we really need someone to fill in for Frank. Those are the only lines you have… that of the song and Geordie is really good with stage direction, I'm sure you'll pick it up really quickly." Edd assured his friend.

"Two days?" Eddy said doubtfully and read over the lyrics and then shrugged. "You'll help me?"

Edd beamed. "Of course, I'd be glad to, Eddy! Oh, you'll need to come down to the theater and audition of course but that's all a formality. If we hurry, you'll be the first one and I'm sure they'll love you for the part and end auditions after they see your performance!" It never hurt to stoke Eddy's ego when it was something Edd wanted to happen really badly.

Eddy preened under Edd's glib praise. "Hell… let's go now. Why not? I'll show 'em how good I am!"

"That's the spirit, Eddy!" Edd cheered and felt immensely better already.

Eddy ended up getting the part simply because no one else had auditioned for it and they were desperate, not that Edd let Eddy onto that little bit of information. They sat in a couple of chairs on the mostly empty stage to get Eddy feeling used to being up there and to practice on Eddy's song 'Hot Patootie-Bless My Soul'. Edd was gratified that Eddy seemed to really get into the song. He'd shown Eddy his costume and his friend seemed to actually like it which was a relief. Edd had also introduced Eddy to the girl playing Columbia who was skinny and enthusiastic about the play and her part.

"He's a regular Eddie in the flesh, ain't he?" She chirruped gleefully to Edd while Eddy looked on a bit perplexed.

Edd inwardly shuddered at the usage of 'ain't' but put on a smile anyway and tried not to imagine her all over Eddy during the number. "Yes. And we don't even have to put on fake side burns."

Eddy had started growing side burns once he discovered facial hair upon his person after puberty hit. It had hit Eddy with a vengeance for the youth was rather hairy all over. Edd had seen Eddy's respectable hairy chest once and had nearly swooned but managed to reign himself in despite having the desire to run his fingers through those dark locks. Eddy had only gained about a foot and a half more in height and seemed to have stopped growing upwards and had seemed to have chosen to grow outwards instead. He wasn't obese but he carried more pounds around his middle then someone of his height needed. If he wasn't careful he'd gain a beer belly which Edd detested. Eddy hadn't started drinking… yet, but Edd knew it was only a matter of time if Eddy's brother was any example in that family.

Anyway, the director had come over and had Eddy and their actress in full Columbia costume act the whole scene out. The director thought it would be more authentic a performance on Eddy's part if he wasn't told just how he'd end his scene. Edd didn't exactly relish the idea of chasing after Eddy with an ice axe but that was what the scene called for.

Edd was glad his character wasn't supposed to look happy at all during the scene otherwise he didn't know if he could have made it all the way through. He watched Eddy and Columbia basically grope and paw each other, watched as Eddy was instructed to ride the prop motorcycle around the stage nearly missing fellow actors as was required. It was obvious that Eddy was having a blast. The director cut the song off just before Edd's character was supposed to kill Eddy's character. Eddy was instructed that he could watch the play from stage left just beyond the backdrop and he had to be reasonably quiet. The director seemed rather pleased and told everyone that final full dress rehearsals were scheduled the next day.

Upon leaving the theater, Eddy was feeling mighty pleased with himself.

"Man! I had no idea that theater could be this much fun!" He stated happily stepping rather jauntily.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself, Eddy." Edd said truthfully.

"That Columbia chick is kinda hot too! She was all over me! I ain't never had a chick dig me so much!" Eddy said giddily then realized what he revealed might make him seem less of a man. "I mean… I'm usually so good at fighten' 'em off and stuff, ya know? But this one… well, it was so OBVIOUS she desperately wanted me… oh don't scoff! That was no act on her part!"

"She's MARRIED!" Edd burst out unable to stand the onslaught of Eddy's words pounding on his eardrums. "It was part of the act! She's a Shakespearian trained actress! She can produce real tears at the director's order! She was merely performing the requirements due to that particular scene!"

"Oh, yer just jealous!" Eddy growled. "Yer character sure isn't gonna get no girl dressed the way you was on stage!"

"You'll be surprised!" Edd couldn't keep from snapping back then covered his mouth with both hands and eyes wide as he let slip something he hadn't intended.

Eddy looked incredulous. "Sure… you gotta kissin' scene… and Ed has a love affair with soap!"

"I-I-I… d-do too! M-more then… more then one… a-and… oh dear!" Edd's cheeks had gone crimson as he recalled his scenes with Brad, Janet, and Rocky and during all of them had wished it had been with Eddy instead. His first kiss had been with some actor. It hadn't been real one little bit and he was sorely disappointed that it hadn't been with the one he wanted most.

Eddy's eyes widened at Edd's reaction and started to laugh outright. "Oh this is RICH! I SO would't miss this play for the world!"

Edd became upset at Eddy's amusement at his expense. "If you'll EXCUSE me… I really need to be getting home and finish my chores before my parents arrive!" He donned that pouty/snooty face that Eddy found both annoying and enduring at the same time. "Be on time tomorrow, Eddy!" With that, he turned smartly on his heel and hurried home with the sound of Eddy's laughter at his back.

To be continued… really!