Based on the recent Loveless chapters-
At that moment, Soubi wondered how could such a horrible order pass through one's lips without a single hint of emotion. Never in his life had he ever heard anything so horrible. Even the kill orders were lower on the scale. This, out of all the terrible things he'd been ordered to do, was the only order he had ever thought about disobeying.
And he knew exactly why he'd been ordered to do such a thing. It wasn't because they'd just beaten these two in a violent, fast spell battle. It wasn't their punishment. It wasn't even his punishment. As Soubi stood on the hill they'd just battled on, holding his bleeding arm, he knew. This was a test, except this time the dots to be filled in on the paper would be filled in with blood and tears, both his and the unconscious girl's. This was one of those psychological tests he was often put up to, the ones that involved him slowly becoming less and less human and more like the bloodthirsty, mindless monster his idolized Sacrifice wanted him to be.
His Sacrifice's gaze was fierce, the violet nearly blackened by the dark thoughts Soubi was sure resided behind them. Soubi absentmindedly reached a hand out, not sure what he was reaching for, but doing so anyways. He was met almost immediately by a hand flashing out, hitting his larger one across the wrist. Wordlessly, Soubi drew back, startled and in a daze at the same time, and stumbled backwards.
The simple word was followed by a meaningful nod and scowl at the two girls who lay on the ground not far away. Soubi followed his gaze, his mouth slightly agape, still trying to grasp what he'd been told to do. They were two young girls, neither more than fifteen years old. Soubi didn't even know their names. He knew which one his Sacrifice meant. The one that was barely conscious, the Fighter. She was the youngest, and had been the one nodded at.
"Go on, now."
A test. That was all this was. His loyalty. It was being tested. Soubi was loyal to his Sacrifice. He loved him. He'd do anything for him. But this...this was too much. He found himself holding his stomach suddenly, nearly throwing up into the grass. He didn't have to look up to see the cruel smile on the other's face, the calculating and coldly amused eyes on his Sacrifice. He could see it in his head already, when he closed his eyes and tried to not retch.
"Sick now, Soubi?"
That voice surrounded him, pushing down on him, crushing him. The pressure. The pressure the pressure the pressure.
He couldn't do it. He just couldn't.
It had been an order. He had to.
"I asked you a question, Soubi."
He couldn't handle it. The grass was cold beneath him, wet with the leftover morning dew, dark with the overhanging night sky that would soon break from the sun arising. He found the strength deep inside to haul himself up on his hands and knees and look up at his Sacrifice. An answer was expected of him. An answer he would give, even with his struggle and attempts to keep silent out of fear his body would reject whatever was in his stomach.
He nodded, giving the only answer he was able to. His response was a laugh.
"Get up and obey me."
Soubi's hands clenched into fists.
A snort. "What now?"
It had been two years now since Soubi had been put through that sort of pain. It was a pain worse than death. It would ruin that girl's life. She'd never be the same. His Sacrifice was ordering him to commit the act that had caused Soubi to lose everything all those years ago. He couldn't ruin someone's live like that. That girl. That poor girl. She'd done nothing. She was so young. She still had so much life in her. Rape wasn't only a physical trauma-it was psychological, even more so than it was physical. She wouldn't truly be able to live again. He was still scarred over it. He'd never recover. She'd never recover. Perhaps she'd heal better than him, but she'd never be the same. It never went away.
Soubi's voice was nothing more than a whisper, if even that. He'd never disobeyed his Sacrifice. Not once in two years. He had been a good dog. Lately, he'd been trying harder and had been getting punished less. And then suddenly, this. That order had come out of nowhere at all. They'd just finished battling the two and Soubi had been examining his injured right arm. He'd been planning to simply leave when he was told to do so. Leaving and going home to sleep in peace. Not now.
The response was firm and followed Soubi's words immediately.
"You will do just as your Sensei did to you, do you understand? There's no reason for you to act as if you cannot do this."
Soubi could still only stare up at him. He'd mentioned Soubi's former teacher. He knew. He knew how much this would get to Soubi. He knew how much this would torment him. Just the thought of hurting someone in such a way... He couldn't stand it. Him, Agatsuma Soubi, had heartlessly killed, brutally injured, cruelly blackmailed dozens and yet, he wasn't able to handle torturing someone in such a way.
Part of his mind urged him on. This was an order, after all. It was his law. He was a dog, striving to please his one and only master. If he was ordered to kill, he'd bring back the throat of his victim, just to please him. He could thoughtlessly murder for him. So, just why was this so hard to do? Even he wasn't fooling himself. He knew the answer to that. He'd been on the other side at multiple points in his life. He had been the victim. He knew how hard it was. He was the one who'd taken the torture, and now he had to put someone through that and force them to feel the same things he had.
"I can't if I'm not..."
"Then get yourself into that state. I don't care what you have to do."
Soubi's original protest was interrupted. He swallowed hard. There was no way out.
His Sacrifice was getting ready to take his leave. Soubi watched on the ground as he pulled his leather gloves on and re-buttoned his long coat.
"Ritsuka will be awaiting my return. You will wait until she wakes up and rape her. You will then come to my home afterwards. You will leave her alive."
He waited until the girl was rousing from her sleep he had put her in at the end of the battle. Soubi still did not know her name. Nor did he know her age.
When she showed the first signs of awakening, Soubi moved close to her. He stood over her, simply looking her over. She was fourteen at the most. He suspected she was younger. He'd been nineteen for over half a year now. He'd been twenty next month, in fact. She was a small girl. She was a pretty girl. She was still a child. He was about to take that away from her.
She rolled onto her back after a few minutes of twitching. Her slightly older partner would be out for a few more hours. Soubi now had a clearer view of her. Her short tail stuck out from her floral print dress. He was about to rip that away from her.
Her skin looked so soft. Soubi wanted more than anything else to touch it. This was in no way a sexual urge. He just wanted to gently touch her and assure her it would be alright. If he could just hold her. If he could just stroke her long blonde hair. He couldn't. He was about to tear her apart.
Her eyes fluttered open and her gaze stopped when she saw Soubi standing over her.
He was on his hands and knees again.
Soubi's hands found the top of her dress. He tore, channeling his anger into this one small action. He tore it from the middle all the way down to the bottom hem.
It was an order, but he hated this.
She screamed as he unzipped his pants.
It filled his ears and cut into the air around him, around them. It pierced everything. Not a single soul was around to hear it. Still, Soubi felt the need to cover her mouth with the palm of his right hand. Blood from his injured arm dripped onto the remainder of her white floral dress, blossoming and spreading like one of the flowers printed on it.
She tried biting him. Soubi wordlessly felt a bit of pride that she was trying to fight back. That feeling was soon torn away.
He entered her.
He hated it. He hated himself. He hated everything. It was an order. An order an order an order. He wasn't a human anymore.
He didn't even know her name.
And as the sun broke the sky, the only tears that fell onto her underdeveloped breasts were his own.
The next should be up within the next day or so.
Soubi is intentionally the only directly named character in this story.
I was having a conversation with a Nisei roleplayer that inspired both agreed we didn't doubt Soubi was forced to do similar, if not the same, kinds of things Nisei did.