It begins with the break up scene in New Moon and from there I changed it up.
"Just for the record: You still mean everything to me"
"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying.
There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them for their real intent.
"You… don't… want me?" I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order.
I stared, uncomprehending, into his eyes. He stared back without apology. His eyes were like topaz—hard and clear and very deep. I felt like I could see into them for miles and miles, yet nowhere in their bottomless depths could I see a contradiction to the word he'd spoken.
"Well, that changes things." I was surprised by how calm and reasonable my voice sounded. It must be because I was so numb. I couldn't realize what he was telling me. It still didn't make any sense.
He looked away into the trees as he spoke again. "Of course, I'll always love you… in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm… tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human." He looked back, and the icy planes of his perfect face were not human. "I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that."
"Don't." My voice was just a whisper now; awareness was beginning to seep through me, trickling like acid through my veins. "Don't do this."
He just stared at me, and I could see from his eyes that my words were far too late. He already had.
"You're not good for me, Bella." He turned his earlier words around, and so I had no argument. How well I knew that I wasn't good enough for him.
"Why didn't you just kill me?" I Whispered.
He froze for what seemed like eternity, as I stared unwavering into his beautiful eyes. I could feel the tears dripping from my chin. My world was fallen apart, this was worst then any physical damage.
"What?" he finally replied. "I wish you would have killed me the first day. If I wasn't good enough for you, why did you make me fall in love with you? How could you be so cruel?" The word vomit came out of my mouth, but for the first time I didn't care. I felt the pain that was clawing at me, it was making both brave and dizzy. I started to sway I saw myself in slow motion getting closer to the ground, but before I reached it Edward had his arm around my waist holding me up against his chest.
"I love you so much. Why don't you love me? Did you ever love me? Was any of this real?" By now I was hysterical. I was grabbing on to the front of his shirt, I needed answers, I needed to know something was real between us. I was willing to give up everything for this man, right now its my pride.
He put his hand under my chin so I can look him straight into his eyes. His index finger began to wipe my tears, he closed his eyes but he looked as if he was struggling to keep his ground.
His mouth would open and close. He had no excuse. Nothing was real. "Bella, Bella, BELLA," I was shaking so hard it seemed as if the earth was shaking, but it was just me. It was just my world crumbling around me. How can the trees still be standing and the birds flying in the sky while my world was falling apart. How can anyone compare emotional pain to physical pain? All the sudden it all went black.
I woke up screaming but I wasn't waking up. I was having a nightmare within a nightmare, It kept playing on repeat You're not good for me.
I could hear someone murmuring and cooing in my ear telling me to wake up.
It was Edward, he was probably feeling guilty as he always does. I opened my eyes and the first thing I see is Edward's topaz eyes, the man I deemed my world. I felt my eyes get blurry with my tears. I was lying down on a bed made of blankets in front of the fire place in the Cullen house. The Cullens I had believed they were my family, they didn't even say goodbye to me. Even Alice left, but I didn't want Edward's pity.
I turned my body away from him, as I was turning I caught the look of surprise etched on his face. I caught sight of my shoes next to the couch, it was covered by white sheets. Everything was. It was a reminder that he was leaving, but probably just tending to the weak human before he left.
He didn't need feel guilty anymore; I would not burden him anymore. He never answered my questions, maybe it was better that I never know. "What are you doing?" he asked. "I'm leaving, you don't have to pretend no more. I guess this is goodbye." He sat there staring at me like he was seeing things in perspective, as if he had finally put the last peace of the puzzle together, but the most dominant look on his face was pain.
I don't know why I asked, but I was selfish enough to ask even if I knew he didn't love me at this point, "Edward?" "Yes" he choked out. "Could I have one thing? Please." He looked wary, "depends on what you want" "can you kiss one last time," I don't know where the bravery came from but I will never see him again. I was barely holding myself together. He walked towards me placed his hand around my neck, it felt so sensual and natural like we've been doing this for years. If this weren't Edward breaking my heart, an outsider would think this was a scene out of a romance movie. He placed a finger under my jaw tipping my face so he had the best access to my mouth. He leaned in taking my bottom lip into his mouth and sucking on it, while I did the same to his top lip. He let out a loud a groan as I grabbed on to his hair harder then I had ever done in the past. I was about to lick his lips when he went for my top lip sucking on my tongue instead. He groaned even loader then before, he seemed to have lost control because all of the sudden I found my self on my back with him on top. His eyes looked glazed over with his body situated between my legs and his arms bent on either side of my head. It took me a couple seconds to realize we were on the bed of blankets he must have made when I had fainted.
His tongue was in my mouth, I tried to put up a fight and dominate but he completely dominated my mouth and my body. We had never done anything like this before; I can't believe his kisses could get any better, but they did. He tasted so good. He was possessing me with his mouth and his large hands. I felt so tiny in his arms; he was so powerful and I had giving him too much power over me.
His hands were everywhere, without thinking in my frenzy I thrusted my body into his. He growled so loud that had I not seen it coming out of his mouth I would have thought a lion was in the room. His eyes rolled back, his hand slid down my body grabbed my ankle and rapped one of my legs around his waist. His hand continued until he reached my rear he squeezed my butt and pushed me into him. I let out a loud moan, and he groaned. "Oh god Bella you feel so fucking good," I froze I couldn't believe those words came out his mouth. I felt my panties getting soaked and his nostrils inhaled like he could smell my arousal. We both started thrusting into each other in a frenzied movement, "I love you, I love you, I'll always love you, Bella. Your so fucking beautiful," We were both panting so load and I was moaning like a seasoned porn star. Edward seemed to love me panting his name, and pant his name I did like he was a prayer. "Don't Edwwwarrd…Pleeeaase." We couldn't for the life of us stop because we were both close to something that we had never experienced before. He stared at me with his eyes penetrating me to the core, I was laid bare for him to see, I was at his mercy. He alone had the ability to destroy me. He was about to reply but I didn't want him to say anything that he wouldn't follow through with or worst feel obliged to do so because of guilt. So I kissed him with everything I had, my lower body was off the bed as he was thrusting into me now. I could feel how large he was, through both of our jeans I could feel his humongous cock. I was in a state of ecstasy, I never wanted this to stop; I wanted to get closer to him without any restrictions and without any cloth. His eyes were the same color as the first day in biology class. The color didn't frighten me it only caused my stomach to get tighter, I cool feel the sheen of sweat from the work out I was getting.
All the sudden I felt pleasure burst through every vein in my body, Edward threw his head back and let out a growl that could be heard for miles. We were both shaking from the pleasure we just experienced. Still rocking against each other coming down from our highs when he said, "you'll be the death of me." I couldn't answer him, I was tired both physically and mentally; so I fell asleep in his arms. I felt him kissing my forehead, my cheeks, and finally my mouth. I could swear I heard him say, "I love you" over and over, he sounded so anguished
I wondered if he would be there when I woke up and if he wasn't I wished to remain blissfully asleep.