Ah, it's been so long since I've actually written anything! I've been sitting on this oneshot for a long while - I've just haven't been able to finish it until now. And I'm sorry, but I had to do this, especially after my cousin pointed out how difficult it is to tell that Waka's a guy, so yeah. I hope you enjoy it, 'cause it's supposed to be funny, but I'm not sure if it is. Be sure to let me know and review!
Do I Have To?
Waka was lounging comfortably, yet somehow elegantly as the prophet always seemed to be, beneath the sacred tree Konohana, enjoying the seemingly everlasting peace of Kamiki Village. The wolf-goddess of the sun, Amaterasu, suddenly came running up to Waka then, ink-stained tail whipping back and forth with happiness. Bright golden eyes gazed at him, sparkling with brilliant excited light as Amaterasu dropped a neatly folded bundle of clothes from her smiling mouth.
"Bonjour, ma chérie," Waka greeted the wolf, lightly stroking her snowy white fur. His blue gaze flickered to the package of clothing Amaterasu had delivered to him. "What are you up to now, Amaterasu?" he asked with a playful smile. Amaterasu simply barked and pushed the clothes closer to him, insisting that he take them. With a sigh, he took the clothes she so adamantly offered him, much to the wolf's joy. "But what do you want me to do with them?"
Amaterasu huffed a breath of slight exasperation, and left. She returned moments later with a scroll perched carefully between her teeth. The clever wolf then placed the blank scroll on the ground and gently nudged it open with her muzzle, holding the edges of the paper with her paws as the scroll was unrolled. After sufficient writing space was exposed, Amaterasu turned so that her ink-tipped tail could reach. Her tail extended to the empty paper, and started attacking it with quick, controlled strokes. Soon, a message came to form on the once bare scroll.
"Put it on," the message said.
Waka's eyes glanced over the words, swiftly reading Amaterasu's message. "Fine," he said noncommittally. His long nimble fingers deftly unfolded the package of clothes, revealing what Amaterasu wished for him to wear.
A woman's kimono hung from the grip of his fingers, delicately pink and decorated with a tasteful floral design. Waka stared at it for several seconds, eye twitching and fingers quivering as he briefly considered letting the thing fall from his grasp to keep himself from looking at it. Amaterasu wanted him to wear women's clothing? The thought was ludicrous.
He finally moved his gaze away from the dreadful kimono to Amaterasu, who now sat contently, tail sweeping back and forth on the ground, looking at Waka with expectant eyes.
"No," Waka said to the happy wolf. "I won't wear this."
Amaterasu let out a small, somewhat annoyed growl before letting her tail strike the paper again, writing out another brief message. "You will wear it."
Waka sighed at Amaterasu's stubborn persistence. He cared not how obstinately she insisted, he simply was not going to wear women's clothing. After all, he did have at least some male pride that he would not allow to be ruined by wearing such girlish things as that kimono. "Amaterasu, you cannot make me wear it. I will not, and that is final."
Amaterasu did not like Waka's response. A genuinely angry growl tearing through her, the wolf leapt onto her hind legs and pinned Waka to the Konohana tree with her strong front paws. Her amber gaze was alight with bright sparks of anger as she stared fiercely into Waka's silver-blue eyes. A small gasp escaped Waka's lips, the prophet caught unawares by Amaterasu's sudden viciousness. Slight hints of fear now glimmered in his eyes, as no one could help but feel intimidated when faced with the wrath of a goddess.
Her yellow eyes still locked on Waka's gaze, Amaterasu's tail lashed out to the scroll behind her, angrily placing another message on the paper. "You are going to wear it, and THAT is final."
Waka glanced at the message and silently nodded his head, having no other choice but to comply—or die at the hands of the powerful sun goddess. Soon as he agreed, Amaterasu relented, returning to her happy self almost immediately. She released him, and took her former position sitting on the ground, tail swishing gaily as ever. Waka then began to remove his clothing to don the kimono, but not before giving a sidelong glance to Amaterasu, who watched him with a happily blank stare.
"Are you going to keep staring at me like that, Amaterasu? It's rather rude."
The white wolf's ears twitched as she processed the words, then turned away after giving Waka a look that spoke more than a single glance should. Waka could almost imagine the wolf saying, "Oh, you're embarrassed to remove your clothes in front of me, huh? Fine, I'll give you your privacy" from that one look. With the faintest traces of color warming his face, Waka quickly undressed and put on the kimono.
Amaterasu turned to face Waka again and was practically beside herself with joy with what she saw. With a thrilled squeak of a bark, she excitedly wrote on the paper once more, a difficult task when her tail was shaking and wagging so wildly with happiness. The barely legible scrawl expressed her glee in words: "Oh, my goodness! You look SO pretty!"
" . . . That's not what I wanted to hear," Waka said, his lack of enthusiasm a stark contrast to Amaterasu's sheer delight. The kimono did, in fact, look lovely on him, though—the pale pink color beautifully complimented his light skin tone, and brought out the silver flecks in his clear blue eyes; his long, shimmering golden hair, unveiled from the cover of his hat by Amaterasu's second order, shone brilliantly against the soft fabric; and his slender body fit nicely in the small kimono, appearing almost feminine in shape amongst the snug folds of fabric. But the fact that Amaterasu used the word "pretty" to describe him was what Waka didn't like. He knew it meant that he did look effeminate in the kimono, which did not exactly thrill him.
Amaterasu smiled at Waka, muzzle parted in a wide canine grin. Waka looked at Amaterasu with a small, discontent frown, the delicate features of his face seemingly incapable of forming an ugly scowl. The two stared one another down a few moments, happy golden eyes locking gazes with unhappy blue ones.
Then a clear, bright giggle brought the attention of both upwards.
Sakuya, the wood sprite of Konohana, floated above Waka and Amaterasu, her cherry-blossom-pink eyes sparkling with amusement as she gazed down at the two. Amaterasu grinned at the sprite, while Waka's expression was closer to that of mortification. It was bad enough that Amaterasu had gotten him into that kimono in the first place, but for someone else to actually see him in it? There went another piece of his rapidly crumbling dignity.
With another giggle, Sakuya slipped into her resting place within Konohana, briefly leaving a long trail of dark hair in her wake before that, too, disappeared into the tree. Waka slowly brought his gaze from where Sakuya hovered above to Amaterasu, staring at the wolf with frowning eyes for a long while. The white wolf-goddess smiled at him, unperturbed.
Prophet and wolf began another stare-off, but not much time passed before Amaterasu went to her writing scroll to ink another message for Waka. Her pink tongue lolled across her sharp canine teeth and out the side of her mouth, hanging loosely as she wrote, mouth still open wide in a happy grin.
"Let's go in the village! That way, everyone can see you in that lovely kimono!" said the words written on the scroll.
Waka's eyes glanced over the message, widened, and read the words on the paper a second time before snapping to Amaterasu. Was this wolf intent on destroying every last shred of pride he had left? Amaterasu just kept on smiling, as if unaware of what she was doing to his now fragile dignity. Waka said nothing, wishing to say no, but also mentally shuddering at the thought of invoking the Sun Goddess's wrath.
Amaterasu took his silence as a "no," unfortunately for him. With a stern look in her eye, the goddess proceeded to clamp her teeth on a mouthful of his long hair. Before Waka could utter a single question, she started to drag him by his hair to the village, the sound of his interrupted question followed soon by a series of rather unmanly yelps and several French expletives.
When the two arrived in the village, Amaterasu released Waka's hair from her jaws. As he nursed his tortured hair, the prophet apologized for his improper language used moments ago—even though that improper language was in French and Amaterasu hadn't understood a single word of it. "You will have to pardon my French. I—That is not even remotely humorous, Amaterasu," he said suddenly when she smirked and laughed a strange wolf laugh, an intermittent sound that rumbled like a growl in her throat with each breath.
Amaterasu retorted with a sharp bark, as if to say, "Yes, it is!"
Then her attention wandered, attracted to something in the nearby merchant's stall. She walked to the merchant, and picked up something in her teeth. The blue bead bracelet she held in her mouth glinted beautifully, a well-crafted piece of jewelry. "Ah, an excellent choice," the merchant remarked. "That will be ¥3000, please."
Amaterasu reached into the small pouch around her neck, carefully picking out the coins with her teeth. She fumbled with several coins, and dropped many of them on the ground. It was obviously quite difficult for her to handle currency—and most other things—when she didn't have opposable thumbs. Waka was so gracious as to help the wolf with this, retrieving the coins and paying the merchant for her.
"Here, sir," said Waka as he offered the money to the merchant.
The merchant took the yen from him, smiling kindly and giving him the bracelet. "Thank you very much, young lady."
Waka stiffened at this. Lady? This merchant was clearly confused. Wasn't he able to tell that Waka was male, if at least from his voice? But then again, even Waka's voice was almost feminine—quiet, soft, with an accent that lilted his words in a very melodious way. And of course, that kimono was rather misleading.
"Thank you, sir," Waka said stiffly before turning away and leaving with (somewhat) dignified haste. Amaterasu trotted after him moments after, leaving the merchant to wonder aloud, "Did I say something . . . ?"
Waka then offered Amaterasu the pretty bracelet that had so entranced the white wolf. She took the proffered bracelet, and held it delicately between her teeth, her golden eyes crossed to focus on the jewelry.
"Honestly, Amaterasu," Waka sighed. "You are so easily distracted sometimes. You should—" His sentence was interrupted by the wolf when she decided to slip the bracelet onto his wrist. He opened his mouth once more to protest only to find that he couldn't. Somehow, he had lost his voice within a single instant. His blue gaze fell to the bracelet Amaterasu had just put on him. Was this bracelet somehow silencing him? He attempted to remove it, yet it seemed that he couldn't do that, either. By some strange magic, the bracelet was protesting its removal by defiantly tightening around his wrist, thus preventing said removal.
Of course, it had to be an enchanted bracelet. And Waka suspected that Amaterasu knew it all along. He sent an icy glare in Amaterasu's direction that both accused her of this and asked her to take the bracelet off immediately. She responded with only a blank, almost dopey look—which, in fact, provided Waka with the answer he was looking for. No, she hadn't known about the bracelet's powers. She just thought it was pretty and shiny. It never ceased to amaze Waka how simpleminded she could be at times. And as for the second question, Waka spotted a bright glint of mischievousness in her eyes that said no, she would not remove the bracelet. Waka sighed. For a goddess, Amaterasu sure could be evil sometimes.
And as if to make matters worse, the one person—excuse me, pest—Waka didn't want to see at that moment came bouncing in.
"Hey, Ammy," said the glowing green dot now bouncing before Amaterasu and Waka. Issun the Poncle eyed Waka, or the "half-baked prophet" as the small man often called him. Since Issun had never seen Waka's long golden hair—as it was always covered by the hat Waka always wore—the Poncle did not recognize the man he knew as his enemy. In fact, this was the question he presented to Amaterasu about the "stranger" next to her: "Who's your pretty little friend there?" For such a tiny person, Issun's voice was certainly loud, and at the moment, it was laden with suggestive tones, allowing one to imagine the look in his eyes as he eyed Amaterasu's "pretty little friend" once more. The Poncle moved closer to Waka with each bound, most likely attempting to hop into that kimono—as he had done several times before to many women. Waka began to back away, hoping to avoid the Poncle's advances, unable to correct Issun as far as the matter of gender confusion was concerned. But Amaterasu prevented Waka's escape with a sharp tug on the sleeve of his kimono each time he attempted to get away. Apparently she wanted to see what would happen next.
With one last pleading look to Amaterasu—who he thought was being unnecessarily and unexpectedly heartless—Waka turned his attention back to the advancing Poncle before him. As Issun moved closer and closer at a painfully slow pace, he kept uttering phrases such as "Hey babe, c'mon over here" and "Issun's got a little somethin' for ya" with an obviously flirtatious tone in that loud voice of his, chipping away Waka's dignity with each sentence spoken.
And then the moment Issun desired and Waka dreaded. Issun happily hopped up and slid into Waka's kimono, much to the Poncle's joy and Waka's dismay. Waka looked once more to Amaterasu for help, only to find her asleep, blissfully oblivious. Oh, how Waka always loved how Amaterasu timed her little "naps." The prophet could only cringe as he felt Issun crawling around on his chest. Worse yet, even that, feeling around Waka's chest, did not remedy the eternally clueless Issun's gender confusion. All Issun had to say about Waka's lack of feminine curves was, "Kinda flat-chested, huh? Well, don't matter to me, babe."
At this point, Waka was beginning to silently seethe. Normally the blonde prophet would remain calm in such distressing scenarios, but this was just a little too much for even him to handle levelheadedly. He then proceeded to smack the pest within his kimono with his hand; he wasn't going to let this humiliation go any further if he could help it. But the action did little other than startle Issun somewhat, as well as sending the Poncle further down Waka's kimono as the movement shifted the folds of fabric. Issun was now resting on Waka's midsection, which brought about another comment from the Poncle: "I see you've been working out, sweetie."
That remark triggered another smack of the hand from Waka. But yet again Waka missed the mark and, to his horror, sent Issun tumbling even further down his kimono. Waka visibly tensed as tiny hands and feet touched upon his most private part, the only physical evidence that he was indeed male. Issun, at first, did not notice as he happily muttered to himself.
"Let's see what we have here . . . Oh, I—WHAT IN AMATERASU'S NAME IS THIS?" The sudden exclamation, typical of surprised mortals—and apparently surprised Poncles, as well—was brought about when Issun finally made the realization that he had been confused about Waka's gender the entire time. The sleeping white wolf's ears twitched in response to hearing her name, yet even Issun's loud yell did not wake her; she was still sound asleep, with only a slight grumbling sound from her throat acknowledging the Poncle's distress—and that sound of hers was more or less saying, "Be quiet, I'm sleeping."
Disgusted and indignant, Issun hopped out of Waka's kimono. His normally green aura was glowing bright red as he began one of his characteristic rants.
"WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME, YOU HALF-BAKED PROPHET?" he screamed, finally recognizing Waka after realizing his gender.
Of course, Waka could not answer for the silencing bracelet still wrapped around his wrist. Oh, if it hadn't been for that bracelet Amaterasu had to buy . . .
Speaking of Amaterasu, she had finally woken from her nap, reluctantly wakened by Issun's shouting and yelling. She trotted over to Issun and Waka, somewhat irritated at being woken up when she wasn't ready to end her nap. Her sleepy golden gaze moved between the obviously angry Poncle and the clearly mortified prophet, wondering what had happened between the two while she was asleep. Meanwhile, Issun continued his tirade, further angered by Waka's lack of response, not knowing that Waka was unable to respond.
"C'MON, TELL ME, YOU DUMB BLONDE PROPHET! WHAT, DOES THE FRICKIN' CAT GOT YOUR TONGUE?"
Before Waka could act on the desire to stomp on Issun, Amaterasu slipped between them and removed the enchanted bracelet from Waka's wrist at last. Finally, he could speak again.
"You should have realized sooner," said Waka to Issun soon as the bracelet was removed.
"Well, how the heck was I supposed ta know?" Issun huffed. "You could've fooled anyone with that kimono! You look like a girl in that thing!"
That was it. Waka could not take any more. That remark stole away the very last ounce of male dignity he had been clutching so tightly. He turned his back on both Issun and Amaterasu, feeling utterly defeated and humiliated by this point. Yet he clung to one last shred of his dignity by refusing to shed tears, holding back the one sign of his complete defeat, even after being humiliated so.
But when Amaterasu moved in front of him, a look of sympathy glistening in her golden eyes, he could no longer bear it. He vanished, as per one of his prophetic abilities, leaving in his wake a brief rain of sparkling light.
"What's up with him?" asked Issun as Amaterasu ran to the place she believed that Waka had fled to. Of course, the only response he received was the path of wildflowers that bloomed in the goddess's footsteps.
Amaterasu went to the sacred tree Konohana, where this entire fiasco first began. Just as she thought, Waka was taking refuge in its branches, his back facing her once more. She knew something was wrong with him. There was a subtle difference in his breathing: where usually even her keen wolf ears could barely hear his soft intakes of breath, his breaths were now more audible to her—yet still below the range of the typical hearing of a mortal—and somewhat ragged, if she was not mistaken. She circled the tree once so that she could see Waka's face. As she did so, the movements of her tail encircled the tree, activating one of her divine Celestial Brush powers. The power of Bloom swirled gently around the already-thriving sakura tree, and cast a scented breeze up into its branches; pale flower petals danced briefly in the air around Waka and Amaterasu both before drifting to the ground. Amaterasu smiled up at the prophet in the branches.
But said prophet was nowhere near as happy as the wolf below him. The tears that he was ashamed to show shone in his blue eyes, threatening to escape. As Amaterasu watched, a single teardrop slipped quietly down his face. Amaterasu's heart broke as she saw this. She couldn't let him keep suffering in silence like this. So, she decided to try to cheer him up the only way she knew how. She crouched low, coiling the powerful muscles in her legs, ready to jump. She then pounced, launching herself at the tree. To propel herself higher, she dug her claws into the wood of the tree's trunk as she readied herself for a subsequent jump. A circle of plant life surrounded her whilst she lunged into this second leap into Konohana's branches.
She threw herself into the unsuspecting prophet, knocking him from his perch in the tree and consequently sending the both of them to the ground. Waka landed on his back, and Amaterasu happened to land on top of him—a comical situation considering Amaterasu's humanlike nature. A female wolf with a woman's intelligence on top of a flustered male prophet—yes, this situation could certainly be considered humorous.
But this situation of theirs could also be called romantic, considering the history between the two. Waka had been in love with the goddess ever since she existed as her previous incarnation, Shiranui, and the Sun Goddess had the same feelings for this man from the Moon Tribe.
Amaterasu settled herself comfortably atop Waka's body, her muzzle resting gently on his face. Her sweet golden gaze stared into his silver-blue eyes in an affectionate manner. When she saw that the tears still lingered in his eyes, she shifted slightly and began to lick them away, something she had once done as Shiranui so many years ago.
Waka smiled warmly, and held her warm body to his in a loving embrace. While she was a wolf in this moment, she was still the woman he loved . . . And it seemed to him that even now, she always, always knew just what to say, by saying nothing at all.
Er...I'm really sorry if Waka seems out of character. But, c'mon, I doubt even he would be able to keep it together after being humiliated so thoroughly, am I right? Eh, I'm probably not right...Well, don't forget to review! And by the way, 3000 yen is about $40 in American dollars.