Angsty Spitfire with some lemony goodness, written while listening to Fix You by Coldplay
Catharsis: the discharge of pent-up emotions so as to result in the alleviation of symptoms or the permanent relief of the condition.
Artemis takes a shaky breath and prepares to knock on the door. Its grey and unassuming like all the rest in the mount. But its his door and for some unfathomable completely sane answer she needs to talk to him, to see him, even touch him if he lets her get that far. She furrows her brow and unclenches and clenches her fists in attempt to get her hands to stop shaking. Canary said it wasn't a sign of weakness to open up to your friends. Those words sounded a thousand times harsher when she was actually trying to put them into practice. She doesn't know why she need this. Its just like some desperate, lonely, dying animal is crying out inside of her. She just does. Maybe this is what grief is. But what is she grieving. She hasn't lost anything. Well not anything tangible anyway. Nothing she was even awake to feel. Yet she did feel it all of it.
Her eyes blink involuntarily at the memory of the bright light. Her skin tingles with residual remembrance of blinding unbearable pain. She didn't even scream. She couldn't. Artemis doesn't remember if this was because of the pain or because you have to be alive to scream. The milliseconds tick by like a life time as she watches the beam of blinding white light inch toward her slowly like a speeding train. Part of her wonders if that is what being struck by lightning feels like. In the dark corners of her mind she kind of wondered what holding that much energy would feel like.
Only Artemis wasn't stuck by lightning she was disintegrated. Her atoms ripped apart as she disappeared into oblivion. She had been so convinced she was dying that she just let go. And that's where the coma came in.
She takes another breath. This one steadier, and knocks on the door. She hears movement from inside as Wally obviously trips over something. For a boy with superhuman running skills its humorous the amount he manages to fall. She laugh if she had the energy to feel that kind of happiness at the moment. With another shaky breath the door creaks open. Wally rubs the sleep out of his eyes yawning. He's wearing a red hoodie and sweat pants. His head hair is frayed slightly more than usual. Artemis suddenly wants to attack him. And not in the violent or vixen-like manner. She just wants to throw her arms around his neck and be enveloped by him as she tries to kiss every single one of those freckles. She wants to claw at his skin and tug at his hair. But its not like being horny where all she does is want to fuck him all night long. Its like something else, something different, almost completely than that. Not that she's not ever wanted that.
"Artemis," his whispers with an alertness that makes her wonder if was asleep at all. Confusion clouds his face. There are bags under his eyes that speak volumes about what these last few days have been like for him that his attitude has not. "What are you doing here?" Something in his voice sounds defeated and worried even though he's trying to hide it.
He runs a hand through his hair. "Suppose Rob told you about what happened." He sighs pushing the door open. To Wally this is a leap of faith he takes without any knowledge of what lies over the edge. Artemis has always stood in the fuzzy gray area of his mind. Wally could never quite understand her in the way he wanted. She makes him feel like an artist trying to wrap his head around the theory of relativity. Or Einstein and quantum mechanics. God threw dice, even without the theory of quantum mechanics he knew that. In this simple twist of fate that sent Artemis into his life he knew that. Artemis presses her lips together in a gesture of sadness and steps inside. She clenches her fist in effort to keep them from shaking again it doesn't help. The sheets on his bed are disheveled from restless sleep, she sits down on the edge of it. Wally pulls up an old arm chair and sits opposite. He stares at his hands as if not able to bear looking her in the eye.
"I know you freaked out," she says after a minute. "He didn't really say anything else just told me to ask you myself...and hear I am." Her logical reason for coming.
His eyebrow furrows, his green eyes grow dark staring at the floor. "You died...and...I" He'd been told he was in denial before. It was something he'd become less and less comfortable with.
"You really have no interest in confronting your extreme reaction with Artemis' death."
"I'd rather talk about you babe."
"Wally you're in denial."
"I'm comfortable with that."
He was in denial. In fact he was in denial a lot. First with Dr. Fate and Kent Nelson, with Artemis, first her death then that he was practically in love with her. It was a viscous ridiculous cycle. He really need just to grow up and deal with things. "Had trouble...couldn't handle that." Artemis opens up her mouth to say something, words don't feel like enough at this point.
Her hands quake even more violently than before as she across the distance between them to brush her fingertips along his jaw bone in the dimness. Artemis hears his breath hitch as he stiffens sharply then very slowly relaxes to her touch. The gentle warmth of skin flows like hot water into her blood vessels. She needs this, this catharthsis, this ability to feel him. To know that he has disappeared or died or been stolen away. And so close she came to losing him. Or rather the other away around since she technically died first. But losing someone was a two way street. Her eyes searched his face as his eyes slowly came to meet hers. They were somber...but still filled with the same light, the life that they always seemed too. Her hands slithered down from his face and passively snaked them down around his neck.
Artemis hugs him so tightly she hopes he can still breathe. His face in her shoulder he takes in a shuttering breath inhaling her scent with it. He bites is bottom lip hoping to hold it all in a moment longer. He chokes on a sob. He wraps his arms tightly around her midsection, holding on for dear life. Yet even this grip does not feel near close enough.
"I'm...here now...okay," her voice states in a whisper. She feels his head move up and down against her shoulder. Frankly she always thought she would be the one who'd end up in tears in this situation. His grip tightens slightly and gently they began to sway. Its a comforting motion. It feels instinctive too, like a mother rocking her child. And the pain slowly slips out. Little by little. Artemis can feel the heat seeping into her bones. Maybe its just his high body temp caused by a high metabolism, but such facts have ceased to matter.
She releases him. Her hands cup the sides of his face. "There's nothing to be afraid of Wally. I'm not going anywhere," she says shaking her head. A small smile tinges on the edge of his face.
Wally gazes up at her. Artemis' eyes reflect shimmering gray in the dimness. Like stars that have up and died, moving the universe one step closer to the all encompassing 'heat death'.
Artemis moves to sit back down on the edge of the bed. Her hands still shake uncontrollably. Wally rubs his eyes. He's exhausted but can't sleep. All his bones ache with empty pain. All parts of him feel heavy like as if lead weights have been tied on with ribbon. "Bet I look pretty pathetic right about now," he mumbles.
She replies rephrasing Canary's words. "Its not pathetic to open up to your friends Wally."
He nods. "...yeah, it is."
"It is," Art replies her voice not much louder than a whisper.
What a nice little hypocrite she is. She takes a deep breath to prepare her for her leap of faith. "I worry about you, you know."
He chuckles. "All the tripping right?"
She crosses her arms and looks him in the eye. "I...I care about you okay." There she said it.
His face brightens. "I care about you too," he replies cracking a gentle smile. Artemis tries to keep her breath steady as she watches him. Something accelerates in this moment. Wires connect, cogs are turning, a fuse is lit, the river unleashed.
Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones
As if guided by a supernatural force they both stand up at the same time. Their faces crashing together like two beams of light shining from opposite directions. Artemis' fingers grip tightly to the front of his hoodie pulling him closer to her as he holds the sides of her face in his hands. She can taste the salt of tears on her lips. She's not sure who's they are but she doesn't care. She had managed not to loose the one thing she cannot replace.
Her arms encircle tightly around his neck. Wally reacts by hiking her up so her legs wrap around his waist. He doesn't fully realize he's walking forward until his knees hit the bed. He collapses forward. Art never releases him as they scoot backwards throwing the covers out of the way. Their lips drag over one another intensely. Wally's lips tingle with supernatural energy and his heart pounds in his ears with deafening might as Artemis pulls him down on top of her. Her hands travel to his back and tug him even closer to her body. His breathing is ragged and his skin must be close to boiling. Its a relief when Arty tugs his hoodie off over his head. He opens his eyes for the first time since they started kissing. Her cheeks are inflamed and her eyes twinkle with glossy light.
Thump, thump. Wally sits up in surprise. Off went her boots onto his floor. Its heir apparent that all their clothes are going to end up there in just a matter of minutes. Her fingers tug at the hem of his white t-shirt. Wally takes the initiative and strips if off too.
Crashing back down to kiss her again he starts pushing off her jacket. She flings it off to the side. His lips travel from her face and he starts sucking on the tender skin. He pauses only when she strips of her shirt and undergarments. Arms snake back around his neck pulling him closer to her. Bare chest to bare chest. His hands that were holding her waist slowly journey southward. His callused fingers tingle against her skin as they muse wit the hem of her jeans. Pants. One of few layers still separating him. And that crying creature inside of Artemis is still screaming for touch. Her fingers clutch so tightly at his back its a wonder he isn't in pain. Its only a couple of more seconds before the bottom halves of clothing follow suit. Wally's kisses resonate like beautiful chemical burns on her skin. Artemis' breaths are short but steady as he pushes into her. Heat rises up inside of her, back arching in reaction to the pleasure of this new form of contact. Wally sucks in a breath quickly as he settles in. Artemis always wondered if he was a virgin or not. Its a nice thought to think that she'll have this hold on him forever. Not matter where the twisted mind of the universe indiscriminately decides to toss them. She'll, they'll always have this. She presses her lips against his neck; dragging them along his jaw bone till they meet his again. Lovey, warm, and slightly chapped.
His chest heaves as he moves on top of her. Skin hot and covered in sweat. Artemis' palms press against his chest, his arms, his stomach, his back, his neck, his hair, his face. Every single inch of him her catharsis. The warmth, the light, the heart to burrow into that makes her whole.
She loves him, she realizes. Body, mind, soul. And furthermore she needs him. She hasn't admitted to needing anyone in years. The realization of beautiful love comes rushing over her in soft release. Her back contorts. And she lets out a noise between a moan and a sigh as her body crashes back against the bed. Wally continues rocking for a few more seconds before collapsing in a heaping blanket of limbs on top of her. His face squishes up against the bed he smiles in a crooked fashion. His eyes flutter closed in exhaustion and contentment. The despairing and loneliness that were ailing him have passed. He is her beautiful happy Wally again.
Artemis turns her head and manages to kiss him from the position.
"I love you," he mumbles.
An exuberant quiet smile graces her face. "I love you too."
w I seriously love them. They are going to have wonderful little strawberry blonde babies that are going to run around trolling with Robin's kids. I cannot fucking wait. Its going to so adorable my brain explodes. I'm going to flail so hard at their first kiss I'm probably going to have to rewind and watch it again.
This idea for this fic came into my head yesterday. I dare say I like it. Hope you all enjoyed reading it too. Please review!