A/N - This short just popped into my head while re-watching Army of One a couple of weeks ago, but I don't usually write Sam at all, so I forgot about it. However, since he's showing up in the current chapter of Asset Management I'm working on, he wanted his say about this. I have a lot of stuff being beta'd right now and a great big huge thanks to PSU93Girl for doing the honors, but I just wanted to throw this out there and see if it sticks :) This scene takes place in the car following the kidnapping of their computer expert (5.10).
"I just want to get this over with, give Michael what he wants and be done with it," Fiona declared.
"Not to pry, but is there something with you and Mike?" Sam queried. "I mean, ever since you guys moved in together, it seems like things have been alittle tense."
"I would be happy with tense," she responded. "Michael can find room for my snow globes in his apartment, but he can't seem to figure out how I fit into his life."
What Sam wanted to say:
"Listen, sister, you need to cut Mikey some slack. Now, now, don't go giving me that death stare, hear me out. Jeez, Fi, watch where you're driving. Seriously, you have no idea what a big step it was for Mike to ask you to move in. You know how he is about his 'private space' and 'home' wasn't exactly a happy word for him, okay? I know you have your own horror stories to tell about growing up, but I bet it was you and your family against the world, right? Well, I think you already figured out that it wasn't like that at Mikey's house.
I know it's gotta be personal for you, I get that, and that you don't get standing up for something that's not personal to you. But you gotta remember, Uncle Sam is the one who got Mike out of that house and who gave him a reason for living. Hey, hey, eyes on the road.. He can't let go of that anymore than he can let go of you. Hold on, missy, before you start ticking off every time he walked out on you, let me tell you something. You weren't there when he got back from Ireland.
Okay, enough with the looks that can kill, Fi, watch the road. I know you weren't there, that's the point. I was. I saw what a hot mess he was. They called me in before he got bounced out of there on a Section 8. Now before you go taking swings at me, let me remind you that for one thing, we didn't get off to such a good start ourselves, hm? So when I tell you that I was worried about Mikey hooking up with you again when he got burned, it was just because I saw what it did to him before.
Now, I know Mike could use some pointers from yours truly about how to treat the ladies, but seriously, you gotta give him a break. This is all new ground for him. He's got no mission parameters to work off of. You might not like how he shows it, but you're "the one" and I mean, the only "one." And believe you me, sister, when that little revelation hits him between the eyes, you're not gonna know to take it.
Jesus, Fi, slow down, we're gonna get pulled over. This guy's already pissed off enough at me without us beating the hell out of him on the ride over.
What Sam actually said:
"Well, you know how Mikey is with commitment."