AN: So this is my first attempt at fan fiction! Hope y'all like!
As soon as he heard Sam's breathing slow into the unmistakable rhythm of sleep, Dean sat up in bed and looked over at his brother. After driving all day to put as many miles between them and Bristol, lest something familiar cause Sam take another trip down memory lane, the brothers had decided to stop for the night. Dean immediately tried to get Sam to get some rest. He knew his brother was tired and felt like crap, courtesy of his face full of hell. Sam however refused to sleep unless Dean agreed to count some sheep as well.
Like that was going to happen after the events of that morning.
Sighing, Dean got out of bed and made himself a cup of coffee. Sam's little incident that morning had scared Dean more than he would like to admit. Watching his little brother convulse on the floor had been bad enough, but when he had become still and unresponsive, Dean had been sure that the Great Wall of Sam had come crashing down, locking Sam inside his head forever. After he had recovered somewhat, Sam had tried to play off what had happened, but Dean knew his little brother well enough to know that underneath his confident attitude, Sam was freaked.
Dean sat back down on a chair in the kitchen and watched his brother sleep, in a non-"creepy Edward Cullen" way. Since his re-souling, Sam had slept more peacefully than Dean had seen him sleep since before Stanford. Sadly, that peaceful slumber was probably not going last now that Sam had a taste of what had happened to him in Hell. Dean remembered his own nightmares after his trip down under, and he shuddered when he thought of the things Sam must have suffered in the cage with two highly pissed-off arch-angles with nothing better to do than torture him.
A low moan snapped Dean out of his thoughts.
Dean got up and walked over to Sam's bed. Sam was tossing and turning now.
"Sam. Sam, wake up!"
Sam's thrashing intensified and Dean gently pinned his brother down by shoulders.
"Sorry," Sam muttered, "So sorry…Roy…shouldn't have shot you…"
Dean was taken aback when he realized what Sam's nightmares were about. Leave it to Sam to have more trouble dealing with what his soulless body had done, even though Sam had no reason to be guilty because it wasn't really him, than with the torture he had undergone in the cage. It was such a Sam thing to do, and it reminded Dean how happy he was to have his brother whole again.
"Sam!" Dean said louder, shaking Sam slightly.
"Gah!" Sam woke up with a start, shooting up to a sitting position, shoulders heaving as he gasped for breath, eyes roving the room, finally coming to rest on Dean's face.
"Calm down," Dean gently commanded, placing a hand on his brother's back. "That's it, just breathe."
"S-sorry I woke you," Sam said
"Don't be, you're the one who needs beauty sleep. Have you looked in a mirror lately?" Dean deflected, not wanting his brother to know that he had already been awake. After Sam had calmed down, Dean sat down on his own bed, facing his brother. "So what were you dreaming about?" Although he already knew, he wanted Sam to talk about it so maybe he could finally convince his little brother that what his soulless body did wasn't his fault.
"Clowns AND Midgets," Sam replied.
"Sure", Dean snorted. "Seriously, what was that all about?" he pressed.
Sam looked down at his feet, unwilling to answer Dean's question. Dean nudged him with his knee.
"It was about what I did in Bristol," Sam finally softly replied, still not looking up.
"What happened wasn't your fault, it wasn't you!" Dean explained for
what felt like the hundredth time.
"My body, my memories," Sam said," It was me, and I am responsible." His tone said that he was done discussing it, and Dean knew it was useless to try and push the issue further at the moment.
"So this hunt you were talking about, how far away is it?" Sam asked, clearly trying to change the subject.
"Six hours, give or take"
"If we leave now, we can be there by morning," Sam suggested.
Dean groaned inwardly, he hadn't slept in over 24 hours, and the last thing he felt like doing was heading to another job, but he knew Sam needed something to get his guilt off of his mind, so he decided to suck it up and drive the rest of the night.
Seeing the look on Dean's face and the weariness with which he carried himself, Sam realized that Dean had probably been watching over him as he slept. The caring gesture made Sam feel warm inside and he smiled slightly.
"What's with the smirk?" Dean asked, confused. Sam just rolled his eyes.
"How about I drive?" Sam offered. Just because he wasn't getting any sleep for the night didn't mean that Dean shouldn't.
"Just letting you know, you better be careful. Any damage you do to my baby will be completely and entirely your fault and I will make sure that the guilt haunts you for the rest of your life," Dean joked before tossing Sam the keys.