By Tenshinrtaiga

Disclaimer: Don't own the Vampire Diaries

Summary: Written for Swirlsofblue at the Vampire Diaries Free-For-All Comment Ficathon: Part 3 (p.19) In which Human!Caroline wonders about what it feels like to die and what it feels like to come back. She blames her vampire boyfriend. He's the reason she can't stop thinking about it, wondering…


I want it more than truth, I can taste it on my breath, I would give my life just for a little death

She thinks about it constantly. She blames it on her vampire boyfriend.

While in class, while at cheer practice, while studying, while with her friends; all she thinks about is death. It taunts her all the time. She wonders what it would feel like to die. When Damon kisses her, she swears she can almost taste it on his tongue. He has told her repeatedly that he plans to kill her, but he hasn't done it yet. She wonders if death would hurt or if there were easy ways to die. Maybe in her sleep. She also wonders about the hard ways to die. Fire seems like the top of her list.

Mostly she wonders about coming back.

Damon said that in order to become a vampire, she would have to have vampire blood in her system. Would the way she died matter to her if she was a vampire? Would she even remember it? Did Damon remember how he died?

On the days when he bites too hard and drinks too much, he gives her some of his blood to heal. It's on those days that she can barely keep herself from trying. It's the curiosity. She can't control it. She wants to know.

But at the same time, she really doesn't.