Because some of you asked for it, here is a continuation of the oneshot, Obsession~! :D Sadly, this is the end of the story now. But I hope you guys enjoyed it!
This chapter is inspired by G Dragon's song "She's Gone" which is a sort of sister song to his "Obsession".
Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara or any of its characters. I also do not own the songs "Obsession" or "She's Gone".
I'm serious, I'm attached to you
Are you saying I'm crazy, you didn't know? I'm stubborn
I tore all the smiles you showed me
I grinded all your love inside my heart
I can't continue feeling this uncomfortable
Let's go somewhere where there are no people, it's just that I want to be alone with you
Now you can't go anywhere
(Yeah I love you girl)
- G Dragon "She's Gone" (translated)
He hadn't talked in months and that slightly worried Shizuo. While Shizuo didn't mind how docile he had become since he stopped talking, the uncharacteristic quietness was now becoming quite frightening. What if he couldn't speak at all anymore?
"Izaya, Izaya, Izaya, Izaya…" Shizuo murmured quietly as he rocked the raven gently in his arms, stroking his hair and kissing the raven softly on his forehead. "Why won't you speak? Please say something, anything. It's starting to scare me how quiet you are."
But the raven still didn't speak. His dull scarlet eyes, once full of vitality, now stared blankly outside the window past Shizuo as waves lazily crawled on the white, clear sand outside. The two of them sat on a window seat of their new home, a quaint, little white house right by the beach. It was solitary, and the beach was so small that not many people ever came to this little place. It was their own place. A place for just the two of them to live in peace. Shizuo hadn't told anyone he was moving. He had just packed up his apartment and left. He didn't want anyone following him and interrupting his time with Izaya. He just wanted them to be left alone.
Shizuo had thought the change of scenery would be good for Izaya. He thought that maybe a beachside place would lift the raven's spirits, maybe even get him back to how he was before. To the Izaya he remembered. To the Izaya he loved. But no such luck.
"Is it my fault?" Shizuo whispered as he looked up at the pale, sickly face of the raven in his arms. His eyes tightened slightly as he finally took a good look at the raven. Izaya was so much skinnier. He had always been pretty thin, but Shizuo didn't like the way it seemed like the raven's pale skin just clung to his bones. Izaya's dark hair, that once shone healthily, now hung limply and dimmed. The laughter that used to be evident on Izaya's face had turned to deep frown lines. It was like Izaya was a just a shell of the person he used to be.
How could this have happened? Shizuo smiled sadly as he caressed the cheek of the object of his affections. He had just wanted Izaya to himself. He hadn't meant to turn the raven into…this.
Maybe he had been wrong. No…he was wrong. This wasn't what he wanted. This isn't what he liked.
"I'm sorry," Shizuo said sincerely as he cupped Izaya's face in his hands, trying to make the raven look at him. But even though Izaya's eyes were looking right at him, there was such a faraway look in them that Shizuo was sure the raven couldn't see him at all. "I'm so sorry, Izaya," Shizuo said again as he leaned forward, hiding his face in the curve of Izaya's shoulder to his neck. "I swear I'll fix this. I promise you, I'll change this. I'll bring you back."
The raven didn't respond, though his fingers twitched slightly in response to the blonde's words.
"I brought your favorite, Izaya," Shizuo called out as he stepped inside the house and carefully locked the door behind him. He stepped out of his shoes and walked towards the living room where he knew Izaya was sitting on the window seat, looking out at the ocean. For some reason, Izaya really liked that spot. Shizuo walked quietly up to him, putting down the box he held on the coffee table nearby. He gently placed his hands on Izaya's shoulders, a bit saddened when he felt the raven stiffen slightly at the contact. "It's time to eat, Izaya," Shizuo told him softly, reassuringly rubbing his thumbs against Izaya's shoulders. "I brought you a surprise."
Izaya didn't react to the words, still somewhat stiff and cautious at Shizuo's touch as he bit his lip and looked out the window at the waves crashing against the shore. Shizuo tried not to let this get to him as he let go of Izaya and grabbed the box from the coffee table before he sat next to Izaya on the window seat. He opened the box, the smell of fish wafting into the air and making Izaya perk up slightly. Shizuo watched as Izaya turned his head towards the blonde, looking down at the box. Shizuo picked up a piece of sushi from the box and held it out to the raven. "You like ootoro, don't you?"
The raven seemed to recognize this fact as he looked at the sushi, a slight, simmering look of desire in his eyes for a brief moment. But there was still cautiousness in the way he moved as his eyes flickered from the sushi to Shizuo's face. Shizuo grimaced slightly, disheartened by the fact that Izaya seemed so distrusting of him. But he guessed it was his fault, after all he did to the raven. Shizuo motioned to Izaya to go ahead and eat it, reassuring, "It's okay. You can eat it."
At first, Izaya still seemed a bit hesitant, but then he slowly reached out and took the piece of sushi in his mouth, chewing slowly and even licking remnants of rice that stuck to Shizuo's fingers. Shizuo relaxed, smiling softly as he continued to feed Izaya piece by piece until the raven had finished everything that Shizuo had bought. Shizuo let out of a sigh of relief. That was the first full meal Izaya had eaten in a long while.
"Was it good, Izaya?" Shizuo asked him. The raven seemed confused, looking up at Shizuo with questioning eyes and a slight frown. Shizuo was happy to see some kind of emotion on Izaya's face, as the raven had been completely emotionless since he stopped speaking. The raven nodded his head slightly to confirm Shizuo's question, and Shizuo smiled brightly at that, ruffling Izaya's hair gently. "That's good."
Izaya still seemed confused as his eyes stayed glued to Shizuo while the blonde stood up from the seat and walked towards to the kitchen to get himself something to eat.
That night Shizuo helped Izaya bathe, gently scrubbing the raven's body and frowning at how sick Izaya looked. Shizuo wondered if he should get ootoro every night until Izaya was a healthy weight again as he washed Izaya's hair and hoped that eventually the shine it used to hold would return. Izaya was quiet throughout the whole process, a frown on his face and confusion in his eyes. This was the first time Shizuo had treated him so gently and even bathed him properly. Usually Shizuo made them take baths together and their baths consisted of…well, the thought of it made Izaya shudder slightly, burying himself deeper in the bubbles of the bath.
Shizuo either didn't notice or decided to not show that he noticed as he washed away the soap still clinging to Izaya's hair. Shizuo then stood up and grabbed a towel from the rack, holding it open for Izaya. The raven stood up, the water falling from his bare body. Shizuo blushed slightly and held out the towel to Izaya, turning his face away from the raven, "You can dry yourself, right?"
Izaya still looked confused but took the towel in his hands, and once he did Shizuo turned around fully and started to walk out of the bathroom. "I left your pajamas on the counter. Just come out when you're done changing." The blonde then left, shutting the door behind him.
Izaya didn't get it. This wasn't like they usually were. Before, Shizuo had jumped him at every chance. But today he was actually being sort of…gentlemanly. Izaya shook his head, banishing the thoughts. It must all be in his head. Why would Shizuo change so easily? He was the one who hurt the raven in the first place, wasn't he?
Resolved that nothing had changed, Izaya did a quick drying of himself, not bothering to put on his pajamas, and stepped outside the bathroom. Shizuo sat on the bed, rubbing his temples like he was trying to get rid of a migraine. He looked up when he heard the door open, and his face turned red when he saw Izaya standing there completely naked.
"Didn't I tell you to change?" Shizuo said roughly.
But what was the point when Shizuo was just going to undress him later? Izaya just wanted to get this over with already so he walked slowly towards Shizuo, pushing the blonde down on his back on the bed as the raven's hands fumbled with his belt. But suddenly Shizuo pushed him away, holding his hands on Izaya's shoulders so that the raven was a certain distance away from him. There was a sort of dark and sad look on the blonde's face as he spoke, his voice rough and slightly bitter, "Go get dressed, Izaya."
Izaya blinked, at first not comprehending to what he was saying. Get…dressed? But why? Did he really want to deal with the tedious actions of undressing Izaya again? Deciding it was better to not question Shizuo, Izaya walked back to the bathroom and pulled on the shirt and drawstring pants Shizuo had laid out for him. By the time Izaya stepped back out the bathroom, Shizuo was already lying in bed and seemingly asleep. Izaya was shocked. He didn't understand any of this. Wasn't Shizuo going to have sex with him like always?
But even after Izaya stood there for a few minutes, waiting for Shizuo to awaken and beckon him to bed, the blonde just slept peacefully. Maybe he was just really tired? Izaya just shrugged this off and slowly crawled into bed beside Shizuo, staring at the roof and wondering what had caused this sudden change. But then his thoughts were interrupted when suddenly Shizuo reached out and took Izaya into his arms. Izaya stiffened slightly, wondering whether Shizuo had rethought about having sex tonight. But instead of undressing Izaya like the raven expected, Shizuo just cuddled him close to his chest, the blonde placing his chin above Izaya's head and sighing contentedly.
Izaya didn't get it. He didn't understand. What had changed?
Why was Shizuo being so nice to him now?
"What do you mean you haven't found him yet!" Shinra glared at the man sitting across from him as he stood up and banged his hands against the table. "It's been seven months since Izaya went missing! How much longer is it going to take you?"
"Kishitani-san," Shiki said gravely his eyes narrowing at the underground doctor. "I understand your concern for your friend, but we hardly have much to go on. As far as we know, Orihara-kun has disappeared completely. No one knows where he is, and the only man who could probably find Orihara-kun has also disappeared."
"I guess I see your point," Shinra sighed as he finally calmed down, plopping back down in his seat and massaging his temples. "It's just that this is so unlike Izaya."
"Believe me, Kishitani-san, I would also like to know where he went off too," Shiki huffed as he crossed his arms across his chest. "But don't you think it's odd that right after Orihara-kun disappeared, so did Heiwajima Shizuo?"
Shinra frowned, showing that the thought had crossed his mind, "Yes, that is a bit weird, but I'm sure that Shizuo just went off looking for Izaya himself so he could kill him."
"Perhaps," Shiki mused as he leaned forward, threading his fingers together and resting his chin on them. "But from what my men gathered from Orihara-kun's secretary, Orihara-kun had gone to see Heiwajima and never returned. And then there were those rumors for two months about how tame Heiwajima had become, getting less angry and destroying fewer things. And then Heiwajima suddenly disappeared from Ikebukuro as well. Now tell me that isn't a coincidence."
"Are you trying to say that Shizuo had something to do with Izaya's disappearance?" Shinra looked at Shiki incredulously, but the gears in his head had started turning. He had thought it was strange when he called Shizuo and asked if he had seen Izaya. The blonde had acted a bit differently. Shizuo hadn't seemed concerned about Izaya's disappearance at all, which wasn't what Shinra had expected from him. He thought the blonde would explode, accusing Izaya of plotting something nefarious and declaring that he would go hunt down the "flea" and kill him. But instead Shizuo had been surprisingly impassive and somewhat tame.
"I'm merely saying that it's a possibility we can't rule out," Shiki explained. "After all, you can't say you haven't noticed how…" Shiki trailed off, looking for the right word, "obsessed Heiwajima is with Orihara-kun."
Shinra couldn't find any fault in his words. Shiki was absolutely right. Shizuo was obsessed with Izaya, and Izaya was obsessed with Shizuo. That was why they kept fighting and chasing each other. But could that obsession really have led Shizuo to doing something dangerous? To actually make Izaya disappear?
Shinra didn't know if Shizuo was really capable of that.
"Do you want to go outside?" Shizuo asked as he looked up from the newspaper he was reading. He always wondered why Izaya chose to sit at the window seat and look out the window at the ocean. At first he thought it was because it was the nicest place in the house, but now Shizuo figured perhaps the reason why Izaya liked it was because he had never let Izaya out of the house, afraid that if he did Izaya would run away. That window was his only connection to outside.
Izaya seemed taken aback by Shizuo's sudden statement, actually turning away from the window for a moment and looking at the blonde with a surprised expression. His eyes were wary, expecting Shizuo to change his mind at any moment as he nodded in confirmation.
"Well then, let's go," Shizuo simply said as he stood up from his seat and walked up to Izaya, offering his hand to the raven. Izaya looked at it with wide, suspicious eyes. But Shizuo just looked at him calmly, and Izaya slowly took his hand. The blonde led Izaya across the living room, through an entryway and opened the front door. Izaya blinked as the sun hit his eyes, putting his hand up to block it out. It had been a long time since he had been under the sun.
Izaya gasped almost inaudibly as his toes hit the warm sand and a cool breeze brushed past his face. He opened his eyes wide, taking in the sight of the outside as nature's sounds filled his ears. He heard the waves crash against the shore with a slight rush of wind that people called "the sound of the ocean". The bird calls of seagulls, the chirping of crickets, and the rustling of animals hidden within brush nearby, he heard them all. All of them hitting him at once almost overwhelmed him as he walked closer to the waves. He almost wanted to cry over being outside for the first time.
This was freedom.
But why? Izaya turned back slightly to see Shizuo standing behind him, a small smile on his face as he watched Izaya. Why did Shizuo let him outside? Why would he give him a taste of freedom? Was this so he could show Izaya he could easily give it and then take it away? Would he lock him up again right after Izaya enjoyed these few precious moments?
No. He didn't want that. Izaya fell to his knees the, frantically searching through the sand. He heard Shizuo call out worriedly, but he ignored it until he felt his hands grasp a cool, smooth shell. Shizuo suddenly appeared then, grabbing Izaya and asking what was wrong. This was his only chance!
Izaya broke the shell in his hands and used as much of his strength as possible to fling himself at Shizuo and throw the blonde off balance. They fell to the ground, rolling in the sand slightly as Izaya lashed out at Shizuo with the broken shell, cutting through skin and making him bleed. Shizuo struggled with the raven for a moment as he tried to grab at the shell. After a few moments and few more earned cuts, Shizuo successfully took the shell from Izaya's hands and threw it aside, rolling over and pining Izaya to the sand.
They both breathed heavily as they stared angrily at each other. Shizuo trembled slightly, tempted to yell at Izaya but he tried to calm himself. Yes, he didn't like the fact that Izaya had tried to attack him, but if he thought about it, why wouldn't Izaya attack him? Why wouldn't he try to escape from the man who had hurt him so badly?
Izaya wanted to scream in frustration and cry, though he did neither. He had been so close. So close…freedom had been so close to him. But now it was gone. Shizuo would probably never let him outside ever again. He would never get a chance like this again. Izaya waited for Shizuo to attack him, knowing he probably pissed off the blonde.
But instead of hitting him, Shizuo instead hugged him, burying his face in the crook of Izaya's neck. "I'm sorry."
Izaya blinked, wondering if he heard that correctly. Did…did Shizuo just apologize? As if he sensed Izaya's doubt, Shizuo repeated, "I'm sorry, Izaya. I…I know you probably hate me more now than you ever did before. Sorry."
Why…why was he apologizing? Why did he look so sincere as he looked at Izaya with those hurt and regretful coffee-colored eyes. It almost made Izaya feel guilty for what he did as a painful twinge stung in his chest.
Why was Shizuo being so nice now?
It was making it harder to hate him.
It was like Shizuo was a completely different man.
He treated Izaya so gently. He did things he hadn't done before, personally feeding Izaya all of the raven's favorites, bathing Izaya, and falling asleep with just simply holding Izaya in his arms. He even still let Izaya walk out on the beach every day despite what Izaya had done before.
Izaya got more confused by the day, unsure of what he was supposed to feel towards Shizuo. Hatred because of what Shizuo had done? But he was so nice now, and Izaya could slowly feel the hatred melting away. Izaya began to look forward to when Shizuo would come home, wondering what the blonde had gotten him today to eat. He liked feeling Shizuo's hands caress him gently as they scrubbed his skin and washed his hair. He liked walking on the beach, feeling the sense of freedom with Shizuo steadily following behind him. Izaya even sometimes tested Shizuo, doing things purposely he knew pissed Shizuo off. And even though the anger would show on the blonde's face he would just take in deep breathes and calm himself. Izaya was almost touched by Shizuo trying to lessen his anger for him.
But wasn't Izaya supposed to hate him? Not have this weird, fluffy kind of the feeling every time Izaya looked at Shizuo's face. Wasn't he supposed to see a monster every time? Not the soft blonde locks Izaya found comforting to run his hands through, those coffee colored eyes that looked at Izaya with so much emotion them, or the way the left side of Shizuo's lip curled up more to make his smile slightly crooked. He wasn't supposed to notice these things or think that they made the blonde somewhat endearing.
He was supposed to hate him.
So why was he finding the blonde more irresistible by the day?
"Where did you get this?" Shinra asked as he looked at the piece of paper with the numbers scrawled on them.
"From Heiwajima's brother," Shiki simply said as he crossed his legs. "He took quite a bit convincing, but once I mentioned it concerned his brother's…well-being, he finally gave it to me. Their brotherly bond is quite strong."
"Yeah, it is," Shinra murmured as he looked at the scrap of paper. "So this is really Shizuo's new number?"
"Why don't you try it yourself?" Shiki offered as he placed a cell phone in front of Shinra. Shinra looked at the phone hesitantly at first before he moved and picked it up, dialing the number…
Izaya looked up from the window where he was waiting for Shizuo to come home. The phone in the house rang, which was surprising because it rarely did. The only one who called was Shizuo's brother after all. Izaya wondered briefly if he should pick it up but then shrugged, figuring that if it was Kasuka he could always just say Shizuo wasn't home yet.
Izaya picked up the phone, clearing his throat to make a clear greeting before the voice on the other line spoke first, "Hello? Shizuo?" Izaya's eyes widened with shock as he heard a voice that was definitely not Kasuka on the other line. And he recognized that voice. "Shizuo? It's Shinra. Hello? … Come on, why won't you answer me. Are you still mad because I got upset with you over Izaya's disappearance? Because you know—"
Izaya hung up the phone before Shinra could finish and pulled out the plugs. He would tell Shizuo to throw the phone away later and that they should probably move again. If Izaya knew Shinra as well as he thought, the underground doctor probably got Shiki to help him find out where Shizuo had disappeared to and get this number, and Izaya didn't want Shiki knowing where he was. Shiki would definitely drag him back to Ikebukuro because he liked Izaya and his informant abilities. And Izaya didn't really want to go back to Ikebukuro.
After all, what was the point when his favorite toy wasn't there anymore?
Izaya perked up as he heard the door open, that familiar voice he had listened to since high school yell his name now speaking his name so lovingly and gently, "Izaya? I'm home."
Izaya walked out to the entryway, smiling brightly as he looked at Shizuo, shocking the blonde as he spoke for the first time in eight months, "Welcome back, Shizu-chan."
And now you're mine. And I'm yours.
Together we'll succumb to our obsessions.
Together we'll be. Together we'll always be.
The ending lines are inspired by this great picture I saw on zerochan: www. zerochan 871504 (remove the spaces). Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this end! Heehee~
Also gaaragirlsasori asked me if she could adopt this story and make her own version/spinoff of it, and I told her to go for it! ^^ So if you guys want to see more of this story, you can look forward to hers. :D
Thanks so much everyone for reading and the reviews, faves, and alerts! ^^