It's been three months since Adne and I brought Ren back. I still haven't seen him. Shay keeps me busy with meetings and war planning but I'm not fooled, he doesn't want me near Ren. He's also pushing me to make him my mate and let him lead the pack with me. I can't do it. Since I told him I needed time to think he has been cold and very unboyfriend like to me…..makes me wonder if he ever loved me. I'm sitting in my room wondering what the next two weeks will be like? The war is on hold or at least our side of it while our people gather information on the other sites that hold the pieces to the cross. And all this down time just leads me to thinking of Ren and what he must be thinking about me. I left him at our union but not because I don't love him, but how can he know that? A soft knock sounds at my door. Nev pops his head in.
"Hey you wanna get outta here? I'm going to play a set while we go to pull tom out." He said.
"Really?" I ask.
"Yeah the searcher thinks it's a good idea. And besides the pack kinda has a surprise for you." He said with a secret glemming in his eyes and smile.
I smile in return. I love my packmates at least shay hasn't tried to keep me from them. "sure, I'm in."
"great! You'll wanna dress sexy for this. I'll send Bryn down." He said with an evil mastermind smile and closed the door.
I stare after him wondering what he has planned or the pack surprise for that matter. In no time at all Bryn bounces into my room with an arm for of clothes. I smile at the clothes and then if fades as I remember getting ready with her for the union.
Bryn notices. "hey what's wrong this is going to be fun?" she says.
"I know, I just wish I could talk to Ren an explain why I had to leave." I say.
"Shay still keeping you two apart?" she ask.
"yes, but he gives other reason he won't just come out a say he wants us nowhere near each other." I answer.
"you miss him don't you?" Bryn ask with a smile.
I answer without hesitation. "of course it's like I'm missing a part of me."
Bryns smile widens. "you and shay don't seem close anymore." No question in her voice more like a statement.
I think about and finally voice what I've been feeling for the last three months. "we're not." There is no sadness in my voice.
"well, all the more reason to have some fun and forget your troubles tonight. Let get ready!" without another word we get ready.
Everyone sits at the table waiting for Nev to go on. Bryn talked me into another corset top and a simi short skirt, but I really don't care it's not like I have anyone to look good for. I catch the thought and force it away. I'm going to have fun with my pack tonight. Shay sits next to me but pays no attention to me. He leans over.
"have you made your decistion?" there is no warmth or love in his voice as it once was and it make me miss Ren even more.
"no" I answer and turn to Mason. "you wanna dance?"
Mason smiles at me and extends his hand. I take it and we move to that dance floor as Nev starts to play. It's a fast song and I lose myself in the music with mason. He pulls me close and bends to my ear.
"the pack has a surprise but you'll have to trust us for it to work." He says.
I look at him with a raised eyebrow. "I always trust my pack."
He smiles at me. "good, I think this surprise will fix things for you and the pack….. maybe even get you to smile again."
"thanks for wanting me to smile again." I say.
"your our alfa. We want you happy." He says. I look around as we dance a notice Bryn and Ansel have joined to flood of bodies swaying to the music. When I look closer to the stage I see Sabine and Ethan sway to the music. I smile my pack is having fun together. I look back to the table and see shay watching us with a cold look in his eyes. I don't want to think what the look means but I can't shake that it looks like hate.
Nev finishes the song and move into a slower tempo one. Mason exchanges a look with Ethan and Ansel while pulling me closer to him. I was just about to ask what the look was about when the word of the song began and it's not Nev singing them. I know that voice and I feel my soul soar as I look to the stage and see Ren looking back at me. My heart skips at the love that shines in his eyes.
Mason leans in to me. "breathe and trust us." I turn to face him but he's looking away I follow his gaze to shay walking towards us with an angry look that could kill. The song and Rens words pick up tempo and right before shay reaches us Mason spins me out and pushes me hard away from him. I stumble right into Sabine.
"Hurry" is all she says before grabbing my hand and pulling me to the other side of the dance floor. I look back and see mason stand between us and shay. I love him trying but with shay being an alfa it won't hold him back long. Just as I finish the thought mason drops his head in a submissive gusture and walk back to our table as shay searches for me.
"ok, you have to let us move your body for you for this to work. We need your complete trust in us." Sabine says. A pleading look in her eyes.
"you have it" I say without hesitation.
"shit he spotted us. Well, hey goes." Sabine says. She grabs my arm pulls me in close to her and push me hard to the front of the crowd. I land in Ansels arms and he picks me up and spins me around.
"do you want this? Tell me and I'll stop it if you don't?" he asks. Without saying it I know what he's asking…. do I want to Ren. I don't need to think or even use words to respond. I smile at me little brother.
"Thanks you" I says with tears in my eyes, but I hold back from crying.
"anytime sis, but the songs almost over and shay on his way to us time for the big finish." Ansel grins.
"Do it" I Say. He grabs my arm with one hand and swings me around pushes me right in Bryn, who's leaning against the stage. I hug her and look over my shoulder to see shay stopped by Ansel and Ethan. I turn to look up at the stage and Ren meets my gaze. Nev starts singing with Ren as he holds his hand out to me and nervious look settles on his face. My heart hurts because I put that look there. He doesn't know how I feel about him and he's putting his heart on the line to fight for me. I'll spend the rest of my life making this up to him if he'll let me. I smile at him a grab his hand. His smile is so bright as my hand touches his it should have blinded everyone in the room. I jump and the same time he pulls.
My feet barely touch the stage before Ren lifts me up in his arms song completely forgot. He holds me so tight as if he's afraid I might float away.
"calla" one word, but it's filled with so much. Love, longing, and happiness. Everything I've been missing from shay and if I'm honest with myself I don't remember it ever being there like it's always has been with Ren.
"Ren" I cocke on the word and hold onto him just as tight as he holds me.
"Shhh." He whispers. "it's ok." The song ends with us in each others arms my head pressed tight into his chest. "now comes the fun part." He says.
I look at him confused but before I can ask I hear shay voice behind me. "get your hands off my girlfriend. Now!" he barks at Ren.
I spin in Ren arms to face shay. Oh if looks could kill we'd both be dead were we stand. I notice my pack scattered close by. It's as if the moment Ren and I touched shay alfa ordered died like a broken spell. And then the truth hits me. Shay needs me. Without being my mate he can't control the pack.
"No" again one word but filled with so much authority as I say it.
Shay looks stunned but regains himself quickly. "calla, you're my mate, I won't have you near him. I order you to get away from him and stay away from him. Now calla!"
I stay in Rens arms as he laughs. " your not her mate. You don't know enough about wolves to know how mates are bonded let alone how the alfa mates are." Ren spoke so calm.
Shay was shaking with anger and then a smile played and his face. "maybe not. But she gave herself to me. She is my mate." He spoke with certainty.
I tensed as he spoke that's one thing I can't take back. I slept with shay and Ren could very well refuse me now that I wasn't pure. I stood ramrod straight waiting for Ren to respond, to push me away. After only a minute his arms tightened around my waist pulling me closer to him and I breathed again. Either he was willing to forgive me or thought it was ok since he wasn't pure for me either.
"the giving of the body dose bond mates, but that not how alfa mates are bonded. It's the giving of the heart that bonds alfa mates. And calla hasn't given you hers or I wouldn't have been able to get the pack to help me tonight. They can't go against their alfas orders." Ren says with the cocky confidence I loved about him.
Shay looks sick. "Calla." He says just barely a whisper. "you're my girlfriend I love you, you love me don't do this."
I look at shay and I know he's lieing to me. "you don't love me. You want to control the pack. I'll always do what's best for the pack and your not it." I say just as cold as he's been speaking to me.
"You don't love me?" he asks with a bit of surprise in his voice.
I think for only a moment about lieing and decide the truth is what Ren and the pack deserve. "yes I love you, but not like I love Ren. And not like I love my pack."
From the look on his face I think the truth hurt him worse that if I had just said no. shay turns and for the first time sees the rest of the pack around him. He looks at each of them in turn and finally rest on Ansel. "you said you wanted what was best for her." He says.
Ansel looked shay dead in the eyes. "I still do." He said.
Shay looks back at me and Ren. Then turns to jump off the stage and walks out the door. Ande and conner walk after him. He might not be my alfa mate but he is still the sicon. I look at me pack and smile at each one. They helped do this to make me happy and I love them all for it. As I smile at each of them they go back to the table and start having fun again their work here is done. Mine however is just beginning I have so much to explain to Ren and I hope he understands.
Nev and the band start to play again. The crowd turns back to their tables now that the drama is over. Ren lets go of my waist and grabs me hand to lead my off stage to the dressing room bands use to get ready. He leads me to the couch and I sit down as he walks back to close the door. He comes back to sit beside me but not as close as I'd like him to be. I feel the loss of him already.
"Ren…" I start but he cuts me off.
"I'm so sorry calla." I'm shocked at his words….what does he have to be sorry for I'm the one who slept with shay.
"Ren why are you sorry you didn't do anything wrong….i did." I finish on a whisper.
Ren's head snaps up to look at me. "Calla I don't hold sleeping with shay against you. I don't like it but I didn't stay pure for you either. I'm talking about back in the cells under eden." He lowers his head defeated. Thinking about the time he tried to kill me.
I put my hand under his chin and left his head to look into his eyes as I speak. "Ren it's already forgiven….and forgotton." He looks at me likes he's seeing me for the first time.
"how can you look at me? I tried to kill you calla." He tries to look away but I tighten my grip on his chin.
"I love you Ren. I always have. And the night of the union it had to seem like I was walking away from you…betraying you." I pause to keep myself from crying. "I didn't want to leave you. I wanted the union with you more than anything, but the war doesn't care for love and saving the pack…..setting them free has to come before what I want." I drop my hand from his chin and now it's my time to look down.
Ren grabs my hand and rubs over the ring he gave me. We sit like that in silence for what seems like forever but I'm sure is only a few minutes. Finally he jerks my arm toward him and wraps me in his arms burying his head in my hair. I wrap my arm around his waist and nuzzle his neck. We are both shacking from the effort not the cry.
I can hear the smile in his voice when he asks. "so you kept the ring on even when you were with shay?"
I smile against his neck. "yes, he wasn't too pleased with it either. He ordered me to take it off, I didn't. I think that when he realized he needed me to control the pack."
Ren pulled back but only far enough to look me in the eye. "can we go back to that night a forget any of this ever happened?"
I think about that. As much as I'd like to do it I can't forget the thing that brought us here. "no." I said and Rens shoulders slump no doubt thinking i don't want him. I hurry on "but we can make it better….. if you still want me that is." I look at his chest waiting for his answer.
"of course I want you calla." He kisses me. It's soft and slow and so full of love. My whole body ignites, fire barrels through my viens, my skin tingles all over. He ends the kiss and pulls me into his arms again. "I missed you so much calla. I heart ached without you."
Now I can't keep the tears away. I sob with my head on his shoulders. "I missed you to Ren. It killed me knowing you were hear the last three months and not seeing you. I knew shay was keeping me away but I thought you didn't want to see me either."
"never, I always want to see you…..i always want you." He smiled down at me. "have I mentions I love the outfit?" he asks with a sly smile on his face.
"No but that's ok you had other thing to deal with first." I says as I blush at the wanting look in his eyes as he rakes them over my body.
"Enough of the heavy stuff lets go home." He says as he stands with me in his arms. "yes, lets go home." I respond as we walk arm and arm to the door and back out to sit with the pack…..our pack.