Where are you headed?" Cate asked for the millionth time. I really wish she would just stop asking. I dont know where I'm headed, just anywhere but here.
" I just need some space Cate, I'll come back." Truth was I didn't want to come back. With college over and a new chapter of my life beginning all I wanted to do was just get away and think. I needed to thing about things with Tasha and Jones, I needed to think about where my life was headed, where I wanted to start applying for jobs, to figure out where I wanted to live, to figure out my life; a life that seemed like it was going a million miles an hour and all I needed was for it to slow down so I could catch my breath.
Cate just stood there looking at me with tears in her eyes, "Well I put road maps of every state up to the eastern time zone in the pocket behind the drivers seat, theres $50 extra cash in the glove box, my AAA card, a box filled with paper towels, tissues, laundry detergent, quarters, jumper cables, snacks,..." I turned around to look at my packed car as Cate finished her list.
"Lux,..." I was still off in my own little world when she started calling my name "LUX!"
"What?" I questioned, "Why dont you make one final sweep of your room? Just to be sure you have everything you're going to need." Cate was so insistent that I be prepared for everything, I turned around and ran back to the house.
I stood in my room a room that seemed almost seemed foreign to me now 8 years later, from when I first moved in with Cate. I carefully looked around, slightly wondering what else could possibly be in this room that I would want to take with me. I opened my dresser drawer and I spotted it, the now tattered little red box they gave me from him so long ago that I placed in the drawer a few weeks ago when I got home from college. I took the compass out of the box, turning it over in my hand, remembering how many times within the last 6 years I often looked to it for literal direction with my life. He had changed my life, he changed me, in more ways than I could ever have imagined.
"You still think about him don't you?" Cate replied. I hadn't even heard her come in the room and sit on the bed.
With a heavy sigh I replied "Yes, I wish I didn't but I still do. He helped me, and taught me so much." with a tear falling down my cheek I continue "I Love him" With a sad smile I look at her. With an expression on her face that I can't read, she informs me "You know if your still wanting to get on the Road before Baze comes home you better get going now." I nod, placing the compass into my pocket knowing that I'll be needing alot of it's direction on this trip.
We walk down to the car, once at the curb I turn to Cate and hug her goodbye. It isn't till we pull away that she speaks again.
"You know Lux your an adult now" I nod wondering where this is going. Cate sighs heavily and continues "Your choices are just that. Your choices. While Baze and I continue to help you and encourage you to make the right decisions ultimately they are your's to make." Cate's words continue to confuse me and I nod again. With another hug she lets me get in the car. She pauses before closing the door "I Love you Lux, Please be careful and call to check in every now and again." With a nod she closes the door. The last thing she says before I pull away is" I hope you find what your looking for out there" with a small smile I reply "I hope so too."