The Chicken Threat

By Tishikari

A/N.: This is my first comedy fic – Uraboku's universe. Actually it's my very first English writing fic, so I apologize for any bad grammar.

I'm still learning how to write a good fic, specially the romantic and angst ones that I prefer. But I hope next year I'll manage to post some of those as I'm currently working on two big ones. ^^

This fic started with an idea that came to me while talking to Stargate27 on her Livejournal's page about her lovely brown chicken. [Many thanks Stargate27 for the encouragement you gave to me.] I wasn't sure if I could write a good funny fic with our Zweilt boys and stoic demon. But I think it ended up quite good. ^^

Well, I'll leave it to you guys to decide. Please review! Any encouragement would be very great. Now, enjoy the fic!

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Uraboku, but I would like to own a Luka.

" " For dialogue

' ' For thoughts

The Chicken Threat

Hotsuma was sitting on the floor of his room, eyes locked on the TV, madly playing his favorite game and almost reaching his high time record when someone silently stood a few steps behind from where he was sitting. Without taking his eyes off the game Hotsuma asked sharply.

"What do you want? Spit out!"

"I want you to take care of a chicken."

At the sound of the voice, Hotsuma immediately hit pause on the game and looked up.

"What…, Takashiro!" The blond looked confused. 'What the hell was Takashiro doing in his room? Why haven't he sent Tachibana to deliver the message?'

"I want you to take care of a chicken." He said again looking very seriously.

Hotsuma blinked one… two… three times and… nothing. Takashiro continued to stood there motionless looking down to him. The blond wasn't sure if he should ask anything because his brain hasn't yet made any sense of what his ears had captured.

Takashiro took a deep breath. "Hello? Is anybody in there?"

He snapped. "Have you said chicken…?"

"Yes, a chicken. But before you fall again in a void let me explain… A chicken turn up this morning in the gardens around the mansion, just after Yuki and the other guardians left to the shopping mall. I thought this very suspicious because the protection barrier over the mansion grounds should have blocked it. It can be a Duras in disguise trying to get close to Yuki. So I won't take chances here, I want you to get rid of it."

Hotsuma did fall into a void, his brain synapses got berserk for a moment. No one could blame him, a chicken is not a common thing around that area or in any free area of the city, that's for sure. After a long minute of silence finally something pop inside his head. A question came up in his mind, it was pertinent no doubt.

"But why a Duras? Birds fly around and into the barrier every day…"

"It's black…" said a very serious Takashiro.

The blond Zweilt stood there dumbfounded. The silence reigned again around the room.

The necromancer then turned around and went back to the door. "You are the only Zweilt on the mansion. I expect you to do what I said before Yuki returns from the city."

Hotsuma kept staring at the closed door for many long minutes. 'A chicken? This must be a prank from Shusei… a fucking chicken?' But he couldn't avoid Takashiro's orders. He should at least check outside if this was indeed real…

Outside on the gardens…

Yuki, Luka and Shusei got back early from the city. They were just walking from the car to the front door when a loud voice startled them.




"What was that?" Yuki asked, worry in his eyes.

"Looks like Hotsuma's voice." Luka answered narrowing his sharp eyes.

"Indeed…" Shusei immediately headed to the back garden.

Yuki went to follow him but Luka got hold of his arm.

"Wait! Something is wrong. I sense an intruder."

"What? But the shield…?

"I'll check what it is. Go inside Yuki."

"No! I'm going with you Luka."

"I'LL CATCH YOU MOTHER FUCKER!", came Hotsuma's voice again.

Yuki gave Luka a serious look. The stoic Opast had no chance against those determined eyes. He reflected for a moment and then agreed. But secretly Luka was struggling to control himself to not grab Yuki right there and ravish his mouth with his own, after that display of control and daring over him by his sweet God's Light. Oh, that stirred up bad thoughts in his Duras mind…

"Ok, but stay back."

They both went to the back garden, following the weird sounds that now were coming from there.


When Yuki and Luka finally got to the garden, the scene they saw in front of their eyes was one of complete chaos and destruction among the green bushes. Hotsuma was running up and down the area, making the nicely pruned cypresses burst into flames, one by one, while running around them and jumping over benches like a mad man, cursing with a full vocabulary of swearwords that made Yuki blush immediately. And all this while chasing a very fast black chicken!

Yuki's jaw drop open. Luka got goggle-eyed, and this was something that doesn't happen often! Shusei was leaning against the wall holding his stomach because of too much laugh. Actually he looked like he was out of breath but still laughing hard.

Than Hotsuma notice Yuki and Luka. He stopped not knowing what to do and clearly embarrassed.

"WHAT YOU TWO ARE LOOKING AT?" He shouted angrily while putting both hands on the side of his hips.

Shusei got silent and looked intently to his partner, still grinning from ear to ear. Surely waiting for what was to follow…

Yuki tried to sound as polite as he could, not wishing to mock the explosive Zweilt guardian.

"Err… are you chasing a chicken Hotsuma?"

Just after hearing that Shusei burst into laugh again, a very audible laugh attracting Hotsuma's attention. He hasn't notice his partner presence until now, so absent-minded he was trying to catch the chicken-from-hell.

"Oh yeah, you can laugh at me now but wait until later and you'll see! Just wait…"

'Hmm, I'll eagerly wait for that Hotsu…' thought a naughty Shusei. "I'm sorry Hotsuma but you should see yourself in action. Your gracefulness running after the bird was… unforgettable!" he said to his blond partner while putting a serious face but wet with tears of laugh.

"Humpf!" Hotsuma growled. And then with the corner of his eye, he saw a small movement on his left side just behind a wooden bench. He slowly flexed his knees, sharpened his sight and got into attack mode, like a fearsome predator ready to jump on its prey.

Shusei and Yuki focus all their attention on him. Only Luka was looking in the direction of the bench, clearly eyeing the awful bird.

The blond Zweilt started to move to the spot in a very slow and careful way, one step after the other. The air got tense in anticipation. He directed his aim to the black bird and when he was ready to voice his power to burn… CRACK! He stepped over a twig making the presumed Duras-chicken snap and start a mad run, jumping over the bench and taking a desperate flight in the air right in Yuki's direction.

'Fuck, It's going to attack Yuki!' thought Hotsuma. He quickly run after it following the same path but ended up missing the bird completely making him shout in rage like a bear in frenzy! In a second, chicken and a maddening Zweilt were both inches from crashing into Yuki. The poor boy had time only to close his eyes and lift his hands in front of himself, no matter his martial arts reflex, everything happened too fast… he was doomed!

"COCKOOOOO…" said the chicken!

"GRRRROOOOOAAAARRRRRRR…" said the mad blond.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH…" said a frightened Yuki.

"VOOOOOOSH!" Was the sound of the air been cut by a really, really fast moving [and sexy] Opast. He grabbed the scared boy and pulled him out of the way and into safety in just a blink of an eye.

Meanwhile the black-feather chicken passed flying straight behind them still flapping her little wings, desperately trying to escape. And Hotsuma crashed spectacularly on the floor with a loud noise right where Yuki was before.

"Ooooooouch…." Mumbled in pain a bruised Zweilt.

Shusei run to them. As Yuki was all right, he wanted to see what was left of his partner…

"That's it! This is out of control." Came a very dark and annoyed voice that would give chills in anyone who heard it. "I'll finish this right now!" said Luka looking quite scaring and really pissed off.

He then lifted his arm and aimed his hand in the chicken's direction, now hiding behind a garden statue. His hand started to buzz and crack, sounding dangerous and clearly signaling he intended to use his energy burst to fry dead the runaway bird. Roast chicken indeed…

"NO!" Came a loud cry.

Yuki grabbed Luka fiercely rapping strongly his arms around Luka's body, holding the Opast's arms down to stop him bursting the chicken.

"Don't kill the poor bird! Please, Luka!" Pleaded Yuki while giving him the most knock down look he managed – huge shinning puppy eyes.

The Opast stopped right there cursing silently, 'Bloody Hell, not those eyes again. I have my image of a tough Opast to uphold!'

He insisted. "Yuki, it's already putting you in danger!"

"Oh, that was nothing. Only an accident." Yuki blinked sweetly his puppy eyes…

"Yuki…" The powerful Opast was already melting…

"It's just a bird, right?" Yuki said.

Hotsuma managed to get up again and was pointing a finger to Luka. "Oh no, don't even think in interfere in this. The bird is mine, you idiotic demon! And no, it's not just a bird!"

Shusei frowned. Was he really been serious? Maybe his power had already cooked his brain…

"What do you mean, Hotsu?" Well, he should at least ask!

"Takashiro personally asked me to finish the bird because it could be a disguised Duras." The blond stated with security.

"What!" Asked both Yuki and Shusei at the same time.

"Yes, you heard it! Can't you see? It's black!"

The surprise was absolute. 'Maybe Takashiro is finally getting nuts…' both thought and then the two looked at Luka for a better explanation. He surely would have sensed if the chicken was indeed a Duras…

They got very afraid of what they saw. Luka was looking deadly to Hotsuma.

"Only because it's black?" The beautiful but lethal demon asked sharply, clearly controlling himself.

"Err… yes!" Was all Hotsuma could say. He trusted Takashiro's words and didn't try to sense anything in the damned bird before start chasing it.

"Grrrrr… idiot!" Luka growled and swiftly turned in the direction of the chicken. Yuki could not reach him this time, as he moved very fast. With just a few quick movements, like a graceful big cat he cornered and caught the poor chicken by the neck and brought it to the astonished group.

"Wow, that was fast and easy!" said Shusei while giving Hotsuma a mocking side look. The blond looked disappointed and pissed.

"Ah don't hurt her Luka!" Yuki pleaded anxiously his personal Opast.

"I won't. And just for you know, it's not a Duras."

"Oh that's precious!" said Shusei. "You were beaten by an ordinary chicken Hotsuma!"

"THE HELL I WAS!" Hotsuma shouted venting fumes like a furious dragon. "This chicken is fooling you all. It came right from Infernus!"

Yuki and Shusei started to laugh again, it was impossible not to, while Luka was still holding stoically the poor bird in front of him with a crawled hand.

After a while the conspicuous chicken gave up escaping and, tired, stopped flapping her wings. That was a good idea of hers because Luka was getting really annoyed with the blowing wind her constantly flapping was creating.

Then when things seemed to have quiet down and excuses from Hotsuma could not be heard anymore, a door behind them suddenly opened and a loud scream and shrill startled them all.

"Eeeeeeeeehhhhh….my garden! What the hell happened here?"

They all turned and saw Tachibana looking terrified.

"Aaaaaaaaaahhh…" another loud shriek came from him but this time he was looking directly at Luka.

"JUJU! Release my precious Juju you nasty, ugly Opast! What do you think you're doing?"

Tachibana run to a dumbfounded Luka that still had the chicken squeezed in his grip in front of him almost as if he was showing it as a trophy to the others. He snapped the bird from the Opast's hand and carefully held it against his chest soothing her like a loved pet.

"You should have shame of yourself Zess-san! Destroying my beautiful garden and using a small and innocent bird for amusement only to show up! Bad, bad Luka. I didn't think you were so frustrated!" He said that and gave a direct look to Yuki who seemed confused. Then he roughly turned his back to the group and stomped inside the mansion carrying his half dead chicken with him.

Luka so-very-slowly turned his black-clad, tall-strong body to Hotsuma in a very menacing way. His gaze was so dreadful it could freeze dead the entire Infernus!

Yuki was still processing what Tachibana had said and asked naively: "Luka, why would you be feeling frustrated?"

With that the ground started to shake. Luka's eyes changed and became 'glowing eyes of doom'… Energy came popping around him and flashing into the air.

Shusei took a few steps away from Hotsuma, poke Yuki to follow him and got some safe distance from the raging Opast. Only then he looked at his partner.

The blond Zweilt looked back to Shusei, a mix of angry and question in his tired face.

Shusei just shook his head slightly saying 'no' to Hotsuma and trusted that, connected as they are, he would understand the full meaning of that 'no'.

Apparently he did as he didn't even look back to Luka, just put his legs to move away from the Opast as fast as they could.

The last thing Yuki and Shusei saw was a very fast Hotsuma running for his life while shouting apologies mixed with curses, with an enraged Opast on his knees.

The garden was about to suffer even more…

Meanwhile, on a window up on the mansion looking down to the garden was a figure observing all the events around the Zweilts and the chicken. He was all the time felling proud of his idea. That was an easy and good one! He gave a good laugh again before returning to his desk.

Takashiro was really, really happy now.


PS.: I think Hotsuma looks so cute when he has a confused face! :)

Review please! Any word will be great. ^^