Pairing: Carol Danvers/Peter Parker
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.
Author's Notes: I have a lot of personal backstory and forwardstory ("head canon") for these characters and these stories are not often written in (or posted in) any particularly linear order. This story takes place when Carol and Peter have been together for a while, but before they decide to have a family. In the canon timeline it is just after Siege ended.
"The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want." - Ben Stein
"I want to have a baby."
Peter dropped his toothbrush. It had been a long day. A long morning worrying about going to the party, a long afternoon worrying about being at the party, a long evening worrying about what was going on at the party - It had been a long day. A long day after what had really been a long year of long days. Not all bad, he thought, glancing over at the woman sitting curled up in the middle of his bed. Their bed. Not at all all bad but still long. Peter shook his head. Maybe he'd misheard her.
Carol smiled and crawled across the bed to wipe toothpaste-spittle from the side of his mouth. "Not today. Five or ten years from today."
A long moment passed. She pulled back and crossed her arms. "That's all you have to say? 'Uh'?"
"Uh." He swallowed at her answering frown. "What am I supposed to say?"
"Something with real words."
"Right." He pushed a hand back through his hair. "Why are you, uh, thinking about this?" He was pretty sure that wasn't the right thing to ask but he was also pretty sure he didn't know what was.
Carol sat back in the middle of the bed; she looked smaller this way, out of uniform and seated casually in their bedroom. "Probably something to do with all the near death experiences of the past week."
Peter frowned. They had near death experiences daily, it was something else. He sat down. "How come you're bringing it up to me? Uh. Now?"
"Cosmo told me to."
"You read Cosmo?"
She rolled her eyes. "Bobbi does."
"You were talking about babies with Bobbi?" This was sounding more and more like a no-win-scenario.
Carol blew air out over her lips. "Are you my boyfriend?"
"Yes?" Angry eyes flickered his way. "Yes!"
"That's why. We're supposed to talk about these things so we know if we are on the same page about-" She shrugged. "Someday."
Peter narrowed his eyes. Something else was going on here. "So ... someday ... you want to have a baby ..." She nodded, he swallowed again. "With me?"
Carol's look turned thoughtful. "Well. Tony has a lot to offer but it'd be bit of a gamble."
Peter had started sputtering at the word 'Tony'. "What."
"Kid's already stuck with me, you know?"
"No, I really do not know."
"I'm...? That doesn't make sense!"
"If I'm looking for the best genes, it's clearly Steve."
Peter simply stared. Another long moment passed.
Carol burst into giggles. Peter's disbelief turned into outrage.
"It's not funny!"
She only giggled more. "It's kinda funny."
"Not to me."
He looked really hurt; Carol stopped laughing. She crept back next to Peter and took his hand.
Peter turned to meet her eyes. "Why did you say all that?"
She took a breath. "When I first said I wanted a baby, how did you feel?"
"I don't know." He didn't want questions, he wanted answers.
"Yes you do. You froze up. How did you feel?"
"I don't know! Scared!"
"Okay. And when I said with Tony, how did you feel?"
Peter glared; he didn't like this game. "Angry," he said through clenched teeth. "Jealous. ... Stupid."
"For thinking you meant with me."
"Okay. So now when I say - Peter, someday when I'm ready, I want to have a baby and it's okay for that to scare you because it scares me, too, and it scares me even more to say that I want to have the baby with you because even more crazy than imagining having a baby is imagining having a baby with someone -"
Peter shook his head. "Carol, that doesn't make sense!"
"I wasn't done." Her voice was quiet and had a pleading quality to it; Peter felt badly despite the anger and hurt. He nodded for her to continue. "You're right, it doesn't make sense, but it's how I've always thought about it. Since I was a kid. I guess I just got used to doing everything on my own."
She paused, chewing her lip; a telltale indication of anxiety. If you knew her. Peter put his hand over hers. "But now?"
She met his eyes. "Now I want someday to be with you."
He lifted a hand a brushed a hair out of her eyes. She held her breath.
"Why me? You said yourself I'm not the best choice. I'm probably not top twenty. So. Why me?"
"I love you."
She looked so serious. He pulled her closer. "I love you, too, Caroly."
She let out her breath and shook; his arms tightened around her. "How do you feel now?"
Carol kissed his cheek and said, with contrition, "I'm sorry."
"Yea-" She covered his mouth with hers. The conversation wasn't over for Peter. He still didn't know why this had come up or why she was being evasive about it. Though, that may be the wrong word - or rather she might be evading it, whatever it is, herself, too. Plus something she'd said... No, it wasn't over. But they had time.