A/N: So this is AU for The Fires of Iri-Something. In short, 2.12. Mergana and angst. My stream of consciousness, I hope it makes sense! I don't own Merlin.

Merlin started to pour the poison in the water, then stopped himself.

This was Morgana. She hadn't done anything wrong. She couldn't have.

Or maybe his feelings were getting in the way. He had loved her from the time he set eyes on her.

He would have been there for her after every nightmare, every time she was scared. But naturally, things couldn't work out like that.

He wanted to tell her everything about him. His magic, everything.

He could feel himself beginning to fall asleep. Now wasn't the time to hesitate.

Now or never.

He poured the poison in, and walked over to sit next to Morgana.

"There's something I should tell you." Merlin said.

"What?" Morgana asked.

"I have magic." Merlin said, playing with his fingers.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I didn't trust you, quite honestly." Merlin said.

"You can always trust me." she said.

"Then…There's something else I should tell you now."

Morgana raised her eyebrows.

"Morgana, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever known, and I think I love you." He said that rather quickly, but Morgana got it.

She kissed him.

"Why'd you have to do that?" Merlin muttered. Then so she could hear: "Do you want water?"

"Alright." Morgana said.

She drank.

"I'm sorry," Merlin said, "I'm so sorry."

Morgana started to ask why, before she started choking.

Merlin turned away, crying.

Letting go wasn't easy for him. He hadn't let Freya go very easily.

And now he was a murderer. A murderer.

He would never get that word out of his mind.

A/N: Please review!