Disclaimer: I don't own The Borgias.
Warning : Mention of incest. If it offends you, don't read.
"In nomine patris et fili et spiritus sancti amen."
"Thank you, father."
And with that, Cardinal Cesare Borgia was alone in the dark confessional, waiting for the next sinner trying to find redemption.
Funnily, the sins they had to confess were always inferior to the one eating the soul of their confessor.
The sound of the door startled him, and in the shadow he could see the small, petite silhouette of a woman.
"Forgive me if I can't bring myself to call you father, my beloved brother."
"It is I, Cesare. May I still call you Cesare in here?"
He knew he probably shouldn't, but he couldn't deny Lucrezia anything and he hated hearing her call him Father.
"Yes, sis, you may."
"Good, my dear Cesare. I don't like calling you thus. Plus it would feel like one of our silly pretend game we used to play. And I'm here for serious business."
"Are you here to confess, my love?"
"Yes I am, Cesare."
"And here I thought you were just doing me a pleasant surprise during my tedious confessions hours."
In the shadows he could see her smile, instinctively he moved closer to the grill separating them.
"It's the first time you come to me for confess." he stated, his voice deep and intimate in this way that made her skin tingly.
"I never had anything to confess before. When one is as loved and protected as you did with me, one barely has any sinful thoughts."
"So you never went to see another confessor than me?"
"Would that make you jealous?" she teased. "I never went to confess to anyone other than you, Cesare, for only you know my heart the best."
"I'm not a child anymore, my dear Cesare. I look back now, and I see. I understand now. I understand you, what you did. And I know that you look back and you blame yourself."
"Thoughts that I could not have conceived before, I look back and I know that they were on your mind, still are. You did the right thing my beloved Cesare."
"What do you mean, my love?"
"I mean that I know that on my wedding night you thought about claiming me before this brute could. So he would not destroy me, so I would be prepared."
"It's alright, I thought about it too without really knowing what I was thinking about. And now you think that maybe if you had done it my husband would not have hurt me as much. And you're right. But I am free from my husband today. But if you had been the first one to touch me..."
Her words made him shiver in fear and extasy. If he had been the first one to touch her. He didn't dare imagine it but somehow all his thoughts seemed to come back to this.
"If you ever touch me, Cesare, I shall never be free of you."
The were so close. Separated only by the grill.
"If you claim me only once, all my life I will belong to you. I will ache to go back into your arms. It would never stop. I will turn my back on everything that isn't you. Our father, the Church."
It was Heaven and Hell, hearing her say that. This confession.
"I love you too much dear brother, being with you would ruin everything else to me."
He didn't know what to say. That he loved her. That he wanted her. That he understood.
She breathed hard.
"We can never be together Cesare."
He had always know this, but it hurted so bad to hear her say it.
He could hear the tears in her voice, and saw them shining through the darkness of the confessional.
"We have always been together Lucrezia. And we will always be."
And it was true, and it was everything. A statement, a promise, a vow that she always kept inside her heart.