Disclaimer: I do not and probably never will own Worms.
This is the sequel to The Island War,so it is highly recommended you read that story first. It will take a lot longer to complete this story, so be patient. This picks up approximately where the last left off.
So it begins…
Hello, I'm still here. The narrator with the Russian accent, anyone remember? No? Screw you.
"How 'bout this one Sigurn," asked a relatively small worm.
"No, this one has no freshwater source Tomb," answered a burly worm with a deep voice and thick Scottish accent.
"Seriously, we've been searching for days. Can't we settle for this one?"
"And become a Weapon Tester? No way, we have to find an island with all qualifications."
"What's so bad about being a Weapon Tester? You get to experiment with all sorts of weapons."
"Not that kind of Weapon Tester. They test weapons on us."
"Wouldn't that attract all sorts of Worm rights activists," queried Tomb.
"Under normal circumstances yes, but when was the last time you saw someone from the Mainland around here," remarked Sigurn.
"Oh yea, only worms born on these islands bother to stay. Mainland worms won't even visit so news of what happens here never gets out."
"As far as they are concerned we don't exist."
"Look, we are on another island."
"What is this one?"
"I don't know, but according to my GPS we are 900 ft. above sea level."
"But this island is only 50 ft. thick." (They do not mean human feet distances, try scaling it to worm size.)
"This just doesn't add up," Tomb deduced.
"I've got a bad feeling about this," Sigurn responded, "Let's explore."
"I'll take a look around; you take a ninja rope to the bottom of the island." So Sigurn headed to the bottom whilst Tomb explored the top. He squirmed around looking for anything mysterious and checking off the list. At the exact center of the landscape the ground crumbled around him, and he plummeted for about 30 ft. He hit the ground and blacked out. Sigurn was "carefully" ninja roping to the bottom, a rope in one hand and a katana in the other. He was challenging himself to get as close to the water as possible, occasionally skipping off the top, and once dunking his head underwater. When he realized he had been under the island, he looked up and saw a small cave. He decided it would be a good time to investigate, so he put on an Indiana Jones hat and pulled out his whip. "It's dark" was probably the first thought that went through his mind but I do not know because I cannot read minds. The cave twisted and turned, it inverted and extroverted (that does not seem right), it turned inside out and outside in, which I think are the same things. Finally, it came to an opening. What he saw filled him with dread, the meeting room of the United States House of Representatives, so many politicians. Wait… that might just have been the mushrooms he found on the cave wall. He cleared his head and took another look around, just an empty cave with a giant lake in the middle and a small island at the center of it (an island in an island). He looked at the island and saw two worms. Tomb and *Gasp* they had to get out immediately (*Gasp* is not the worms name, he actually gasped, which Tomb cannot do). He dashed across the top of the water, picked up Tomb, and got out as fast as possible.
"Tomb," Sigurn yelled, slapping him awake, "this is Mystery Island #1!"
"That's not good is it," Tomb questioned.
"You remember who we trapped here, remember?"
"Yes, and why did you say remember twice?"
"If we found him you know who else could find him?"
"No! He could find anyone."
"Well, what about-"
"No! Not Albert Einstein, not Prime Minister Saxon, and not Charlie Sheen!"
"You really don't know," inquired Sigurn while hitting his face.
"No, I don't know, you eliminated my top guesses."
"What use would Elton John have for him?"
"I do not know."
"It's Joe Bananas!"
"Oh, why didn't I think of that," complained Tomb.
"If he is awakened along with the other two the universe could be destroyed!"
"This sounds like a job for… Superman."
"He would be killed within 24 hours."
"No, not Superman."
"We're looking at three worms who can punch clean through the fabric of space and time! They can rewrite reality to make it so he never existed!"
"So can you," Tomb protested.
"Yea, but I won't. They are evil so they will."
"So we hope and pray."
"No, this is even out of Gods control, all we have is hope."
"Well then, I suppose we should continue our search for the new Harvest Island."
"Off we go then."
Meanwhile, an evil awakens.
Joe Bananas tossed and turned, turned and tossed, then woke suddenly. That was the worst nightmare he had ever had. He dreamed that Sigurn, Tomb, Rocky Balboa, Bambi, and worst of all, a United States Senator, were chasing him. Sigurn caught up to him, punched him in the face and threw him to Tomb, who repeatedly bashed his head into the ground. Rocky then picked him up and started punching the living daylights out of him. After that was over Bambi stepped on him a few times, kicked him and finally turned him to the politician, who started promising things that he would never pull through on. The horror, the horror. Anyway, he stretched out, yawned, and went to eat an apple. About halfway through the apple several thoughts struck him: what was that warm spot in the apple; where did I get this apple, we don't own any; why is Mao singing; since when did we have an owl; maybe I could find those secret worms, wake them up, use them to take over the world, and kill them when I'm done. Joe Bananas then looked at his apple and saw a very tiny parasitic worm. Even worms accidentally eat worms in apples. Suddenly another thought struck him; why is Mao singing, he died in a fish last week. He tentatively looked over, and saw an apple floating in midair. In an instant the apple started to move very quickly away from him, he heard The Twilight Zone theme in the background.
"Evil, Ming, Yertigonilt," Joe Bananas yelled, "get over here."
"What is it," complained his great uncle, Evil, as he squirmed through the door. Evil is PurpleLites brother, PurpleLite is DragonFace's father, and DragonFace is Joe Banana's father. It's a very confusing family tree; it would take forever to explain it.
"We are going to take over the world."
"And how to you propose we do that," demanded Ming as he squirmed into the room.
"It's very simple, we find those secret worms, wake them up, use them to take over the world, and kill them when we're done."
"No! No no no no no no no no no no," yelled an exasperated Yertigonilt as he entered the room, "No! That is a very bad idea, very very very bad idea."
"Oh, come on, it couldn't possibly be that bad."
"It's worse than when you tried to release those Weeping Angels into the base of the Gods."
"That was a very bad idea, luckily I had a vortex manipulator."
"Yes, otherwise I would've had to help discover the islands with Storic and Odio." (Pronounced Odie.)
"And I would have been electrocuted by Thomas Edison when he was trying to prove AC current was dangerous," Evil put in.
"It wouldn't have happened right away," said Joe Bananas, "I mean Nikola Tesla was passing 1,000,000 volts of alternating current energy through his body, no one was paying attention to you, and you could have escaped."
"Was he okay," Ming interrupted.
"He was fine, afterwards he even had a volunteer from the audience do it," Evil explained.
"Since I have a feeling this is going to come to an argument, Edison invented the light bulb, Tesla developed Alternating Current energy (AC). I honestly think Edison could have ignored the light bulb and everything would have turned out the same. Now, if Tesla did nothing there would be Direct Current (DC) power stations every two miles because of how inefficient it was."
"Who developed DC," asked Ming.
"Edison, he saw absolutely no future in AC power."
"Ha, the fool."
"You didn't need to go into such a long speech," Evil complained.
"Anyway, on we go," announced Joe Bananas.
"Do you even know where it is," questioned Yertigonilt.
"Well, no, but I have a hunch."
"Yea, well, I have a hunchback, but that's not getting us anywhere," Evil put in.
"Oh, another bad idea," started Yertigonilt, "you tried to use the Vashta Nerada against PurpleLite. He lost his hand, Miss Hell is gone, and you can't have anymore kids."
"That wasn't my fault, and I already have enough kids."
"Remember when you-"
"Enough, sure I've made a lot of mistakes, but I'm certain this one will work."
"Just like last time, or the time before that?"
"Yea, well, this is different."
"This time I'm not dealing with aliens, God, narrators, explosives, newspapers, beer, or Smart phones."
"That makes me feel so much better," Yertigonilt said sarcastically.
Meanwhile, somewhere that I do not care to remember the name of.
"Sigurn," Tomb yelled excitedly, "This island has all the designated parameters."
"Okay then," Sigurn answered, "Put a flag in the ground and let's head back."
"Hey, I think Einstein may have a new weapon."
10 to 29 minutes later.
"Einstein," Tomb yelled, "We found an island."
"Just in time to test my latest creation, the icicle."
"You didn't invent that, you just pulled it off the overhang."
"Yes, but I found a way to employ it as a weapon."
"It will be in short supply during summer."
"That's why Harvest Island needs to be far enough south in order to grow fruit and vegetables year round."
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"You see," Einstein ignored Tomb, "the icicle can be used to stab enemies, drop on enemies, throw at enemies, you can put it on the ground and shove enemies on it, you can knock them off cave roofs onto enemies, you can prod enemies with it, and you can set off oil barrels, push mines, and lick it for energy."
"That's one multipurpose weapon."
"We have an issue Einstein," Sigurn burst in.
"And what would that be?"
"We found him," Sigurn said ominously.
"He who's name must not be said."
"Oh, now I know."
"Sigurn," Tomb suddenly questioned, "Why can't you just rewrite reality so that they never existed?"
"Because certain worms are glued into reality. Me, you, DragonFace, and those three."
"Well, couldn't you just make it so their parents never existed?"
"No, all direct ancestors are also stuck in reality, in a certain way so that everything concerning them happened."
"Well, you are the Grim Reaper, couldn't you take their life."
"That's not a full time job. So I don't have the power to take lives that way, I can only remove the souls of those already deceased. I can only kill them in a fair or unfair fight, an ambush, a sniper bullet, etcetera. Luckily, if worse comes to worst I can always use all my life energy to remove them from existence, unfortunately that destroys all our ancestors and descendants."
"We must hope they are never discovered. Oh yea, are there any tell-tale signs they have arrived."
"Yes, objects will come flying out of nowhere, people will randomly die or be seriously injured, time will start falling apart, space will rip itself apart eventually, stars will implode-"
"Like Betelgeuse, in the constellation Orion."
"No, like Tim Allen or Sandra Bullock."
"Oh, those stars."
"Anyway, the ground will shake itself apart, God will go into hiding, politicians will start agreeing, crimes rates will decrease, photo bombers will increase, King Arthur shall rise again, the moon will start rotating faster, Winston Churchill will be the British Prime minister again, and vultures and lawyers will start being different."
"Wow, the end of the world and the universe."
"Luckily it will take 9 years for everything but the first two."
Meanwhile, on Mystery Island #1
"Are you sure this is a good idea," asked Ming.
"I'm positive, we let them kill our enemies, then we kill them," said Joe Bananas
"Don't forget these are super beings," began Yertigonilt, "They are very very powerful."
"Relax, everything will be fine. Look, the ground falls into a tunnel." So they jumped into the tunnel.
"Look, there he is."
"Don't wake him up," stressed Evil.
"Wake up! We need your help," yelled Joe Bananas as loud as he could into a megaphone.
"Whew, he didn't wake up," said Yertigonilt, sounding very relieved.
Who dares disturb my slumber!
"It is us," announced Joe Bananas, "Yertigonilt, Evil, Ming, and I, Joe Bananas."
You have trespassed!
"We have come to request your assistance."
I have been asleep for 74 years, sentenced to an eternal nightmare.
"Well the nightmare is over, where are the other two?"
Dragon Island #4 and Mystery Island #5.
"Thanks, and why are they called the Mystery Islands?"
Each one is higher up than the last, yet none of them touch any other land or water.
"And where will you go?"
To your base, I will help with your plots.
"Away we go then."
Wait! I will wake them.
"Sigurn," Tomb yelled.
"What," Sigurn yelled back.
Sorry for the sudden scene jump without narration, I was changing my pants. I was afraid of them.
"What," Sigurn asked.
Nothing, nothing. Oh, I forgot to mention, Yertigonilt also wet himself when he yelled Wait.
"When who yelled wait?"
It doesn't matter, mind your own business!
"Sigurn," Einstein yelled, "your team and the Elite Force are needed for an urgent experiment."
"We are not going to be turned into animals, firing experimental weapons, or testing utilities."
"Hey, that jet pack may have ripped off that worms arms, but I got them back on!"
"Anyway, what is it?"
"I need you to test the advantages of an armed base."
"Aren't all bases armed?"
"Well, yes, but I'm talking more about a castle, with mounted turrets, large weapons and rations, and so on."
"How long is this test?"
"The rest of the winter."
"It's not my fault you picked this far south for a base!"
"Fine, Rhubarb, Freya, Amoeba, DragonFace," Sigurn yelled, "get over here!"
"What," complained DragonFace, "I was busy doing something."
"Gather your troops, we are heading to a base."
"Fine, Tomb… wait you are already here, Blasted, Knuckles get over here!"
Worms from the Gods and the Elite Force squirmed in from different sides. Rhubarb and Blasted took one look at each other and started arm wrestling, Rhubarb was twice the size of a normal worm, and had a strength to match, Blasted was 1.5 times the size, but was a bit stockier. The two were locked in "mortal" combat for 45 minutes before Rhubarb sent Blasteds arm through the table (made out of air by the best airsmith in the world, Sigurn (not to be confused with Aerosmith) hey, parenthesis in parenthesis) and the floor, leaving a crater that could've been left by a meteor the size of a stove. That is why two worms who can bench press 6,500 pounds do not arm wrestle.
"Why are you still alive," protested Sigurn.
Because I am a good narrator and no one has bothered to kill me.
"Well stop narrating so much."
You asked me that last story and I still haven't complied.
"Anyway, we are going to Crow Base 1."
"That experimental base," asked Rhubarb.
"Yes, we will be spending the next 9 months there, alone, cut of from all civilization and uncivilization, in close quarters, were we can murder each other with out anyone else knowing."
"No," screamed Freya, "I don't want to go there!"
"Too bad, we're already here."
"How did this happen," inquired Freya.
"I teleported us here."
"What happened to the flash of light?"
"I made it so it didn't exist."
"Yea, well it's winter."
"Hey," yelled Knuckles, "we don't get a vote?"
"No, this is a Scientocracy, wait… that's rule by science. It is Scientarchy, ruled by scientists."
"So that means we are governed by the science factory."
"Yes, but they are not politicians."
"What does … mean?"
Suddenly the universe imploded. The end.
Again just kidding.
"Fruitcake! No! Yes! Oh shut-up. No, I will not be silenced. Screw you."
"Sigurn," yelled Tomb, "stop arguing with yourself."
"I made myself Schizophrenic!"
"Well we don't want to here you arguing with yourself all winter, it would drive us insane"
"You used the wrong hear Tomb," Sigurn pointed out.
"Well unschizophrenify yourself."
"Why did you just make up a word?"
"I couldn't find a word to describe that."
"Hey, stop driving us insane," yelled Rhubarb.
"Only five minutes and we're on the verge of killing each other," complained Amoeba.
"Fine, everyone start working on something," ordered Sigurn, "Rhubarb, check for loose bricks, doors, windows, and prop very heavy objects against any loose objects. Freya, um… start digging a moat around the base because I can't think of a better job for you. Amoeba, check all weapons supplies, write them down, and check on all turrets."
"Blasted, assist Rhubarb," DragonFace ordered, "Tomb, gather firewood, rocks, and fetch Freya some shovels. Knuckles, what can you do with steel fists as hands?"
"I could knock down trees by punching them," answered Knuckles.
"Good, do that."
"What does that mean," asked Sigurn.
I don't know and I don't care.
"Ignorance and apathy."
"Why don't you go do your narratey thingy and let me and DragonFace talk."
"I mean we have top secret stuff to discuss."
Fine. So all worms started their jobs and Sigurn and DragonFace started conferencing about top secret stuff. Now, I am very certain that I am capable of listening in on th- *ow*. A random object just came flying out of nowhere and hit me on the head. I think that was one of the side-effects of my anti-optimistic, the opposite of an anti-depressant. Lets see here, side-effects may include but are not limited to, Tuberculosis, Malaria, Alien hand syndrome, Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva, an increase in optimism, an increase in depression, Diarrhea, Gonorrhea, Instant death syndrome, Blue Skin syndrome, Alice in wonderland Syndrome, Capgras Delusion, Fregoli Delusion, Imploding Organs, Exploding appendages, Suicide, Murder, Counterfeiting, Exploding Head syndrome, Androidism, Zombieism, Vampirism, Werewormism, Scoliosis, Polio, Poliosis, Osteoporosis, Brain Tumours, Mesothelioma, Appendicitis, skin cancer, Owls, and, ah here we are, Objects flying out of nowhere.
"Did you say objects flying out of nowhere," Sigurn asked.
"Well stop taking that anti-optimistic."
Fine, I will. I didn't want to be overly optimistic.
"Hey, I was just hit with a flying object!"
Are you taking that medication?
"No, I am not."
Did you know someone once wrote a book without a single "e" in it? The book had like 50,000 words in it.
"You know that this could be very bad."
I know, it's getting harder and harder to breathe.
"Not that, I'm talking about the objects."
But I might die from my medication.
"How long have you been taking it for?"
Three or four years.
"Yep, you are going to die."
Why didn't the FDA take it off the market?
"It takes a very long time for them to act."
No! No, no, no. *sob*
"Oh, quit your whining, you signed up for death. Our narrators only last a few days usually before being killed."
Why didn't I know about this?
"Because we don't put it in the job description, we need narrators."
I'm going to do everything I ever wanted to do. Before I *ugh*.
"I don't think he remembered the Instant Death Syndrome."
Hello everyone, I am the new narrator.
"Hey, someone with a Czech accent."
I know, I was born in Czechoslovakia.
Oh no you don't!
"I thought you were dead, Russian narrator."
I forgot a side-effect, Instant Life Syndr- *ugh*
Instant Death Syndrome again?
"I think so."
Hello. I'm alive again.
What did you do to the Russian narrator?
"I killed him."
What did you do?
"I threw an owl at him."
Okay, I sort of liked him.
Not gay, bisexual.
Seriously, is this a narrator killing spree?"
"It will be if narrators keep bugging me."
No, no I'm fine.
"Hey you have a Long Island accent, it annoys me."
Yea, and you have a Scottish accent, which annoys me.
"Hey, you're pushing your luck."
Sorry, sorry, I'll be good from now on.
"Anyway, back to the mysterious flying objects."
What about them? And what objects?
"There are some mysterious objects flying out of nowhere."
Is that good or bad?
"That's bad, very bad."
Why, is it a side-effect from medication?
"No, it means that possibly he has awakened."
"He who shall not be named."
Okay, I don't know
"Well, I'm not saying his name. Now I'm going inside because my tail is starting to freeze off. Why don't you go narrate someone else?"
Meanwhile, at the base of the Evil Team.
"Okay, with your help we will take over the world," announced Joe Bananas.
"And why should we help you," demanded the first worm.
"Because, with your help we will control everything."
"We could do that by ourselves," replied the second worm.
"Well, with our help it will be easier and more efficient."
"Why are you just going for the world," asked the third and final worm, "We could control the universe."
What is going on here?
"Who the hell are you," the second worm demanded.
Whoa, very demanding voice. Well I'm new here and I would like to know what is going on.
"Your accent bugs me," decided the third worm.
Well your accent bugs me.
And that is exactly how I came here. The newest narrator with a Welsh accent.
"No one makes fun of my accent, I don't even have an accent."
Well, to everyone who has an accent different than yours you appear to have an accent.
"I forgot about that."
Anyway, I am needed elsewhere.
Meanwhile, at that test base that I can't be bothered to remember the name or location.
I'm back, wait… I'm here.
"What happened to the Long Islander," Sigurn asked.
He was killed for making fun of an accent.
"That actually happened here, he made fun of my accent, luckily I didn't kill him. I knew that attitude would get him eradicated."
Now I shall mark this chapter as finished.
To Be Continued…
I have finally completed the first chapter of my second story. Note, The Tyrant Uprising does not count as my story because it is not being written by me. I will remind my friend to get to work on it ASAP. Another note, we go through narrators very quickly here for no apparent reason. All my stories are in the southern hemisphere. Also 10 to 29 minutes later was a typo I didn't bother to change it, it was supposed to be 10 to 20, I accidentally hit the nine. I will not try to explain the family tree, I already have figured it out and it is very complicated. As for who those worms are, it will be mentioned later, if you are not that patient read the other story and do the math. More made up weapons on the way. Now for questions:
Where is my pen? (Yes, it is still lost.)
Where did Sigurn learn to disappear?
How did Tomb get his name?
Who are those evil worms?
Does anyone know any accents I haven't used?
Why are all the good worms so naïve?
Why do I keep mentioning owls?
What was DragonFace doing? (He said he was doing something.)
Good-day, the rambler is going.