A/N: Acro knows of this fiction's existence. And Chuggaconroy's doing a Super Paper Mario Let's Play! Heck yeah! And now, for your viewing pleasure, chapter 1-1 (at last)!
After wandering through a long and dark passage for about three hours on end, Sonic finally reached the other side. He was a little scared by the length, but then Christian Weston Chandler showed up and Sonic crapped his pants he wasn't wearing. But what's Sonic gonna do now? Is he finally gonna learn how to flip? Well duh!
Jokes, Hentai and Bad Hearing
The land drew itself on a Paint document. Trees and hills grew out of nothing, forming the landscape. A door was drawn in the middle and Sonic emerged from it.
Sonic: Thanks for warding off that Autistic twat, Beat. I thought my credibility was done for.
Tippi: All I had to do was show him a video of his house on the internet. I didn't do much.
Sonic: Actually, I'm curious – where did you get an iPhone?
Tippi: Everybody has one now a day. Even though it's less of a phone and more of a glorified iPod...
Sonic shrugged and went along his way. A little ways up the dirt road that wasn't viewable in 2D, Sonic came across a Goomba.
Sonic: What are you doing here?
Goomba: Count Bleck rehired us because we work for less.
Sonic: But robots work for free.
Goomba: But we work for less.
Sonic: How's that so?
Goomba: We pay HIM.
Sonic: But you don't get paid anything!
Goomba: Bowser pays us.
Sonic: But how can that be? He's not there, where ever Count Bleck is.
Goomba: Bowser gave Eggman his credit card and, apparently, Amy and Eggman combined their accounts.
Goomba: It says their married.
Tippi: Would you just hurry up and step on him!
Sonic jumped on the Goomba and crushed him flat. A random number 100 came out of him and flew upwards, disappearing. Sonic accidentally got the 1 stuck in his eye. It took him two minutes to pull it out.
Sonic: Well, now that that's done with, I'll be going.
He then came across a wall of blocks standing in his way. He hit the blocks to the left and only one remained. He jumped on top of that. Walking across it, he accidentally tripped and fell off the structure, sideways. Looking to his left, he saw a door.
Sonic: Sweet! A door! Beat, can I go in it?
Tippi: No, you need to be able to flip into 3D.
Sonic: I'm in 2D? How's that possible? It looks like I'm in 3D. If I was in 2D, how I did fall into the foreground?
Tippi: You can't.
Sonic blinks and then falls down the pit. He reappears on the other side of the structure. Sonic wonders how that happened, but he just rolls his eyes and goes on his way. After falling down another pit (once on purpose, another time by accident) and jumping on a purple thing, Sonic saves his game using a save block and goes inside a weird looking house.
Sonic: I wondered who built this house. I mean, look, there isn't even another door!
Tippi: Just point and I'll show you the way.
Sonic: How's that gonna help?
Tippi: Just do.
Sonic sighs and points in front of him. Tippi deconstructs herself and turns into a spinning circle.
Tippi: Could you hurry up? It doesn't seem like it, BUT THIS REALLY HURTS!
Sonic nodded, and pointed around. Eventually, a door appeared in the spotlight.
Tippi: Here's a door. Let me make it real.
The door faded in from white and became real. Tippi then reconstructs herself. Her gasps for air is audible.
Sonic: Beat... Are you OK?
Tippi: I-I'm good... Let's just keep going.
Sonic nodded again and went through the door. On the other side was another awesome beard man. He had a sign over reading "BESTOVIOUS! MASTER OF FLIPERS!"
Bestovious: Obey your master! MASTER!
Sonic: OK, whatever you say. Can you teach me to flip?
Bestovious: To flip? Goodness, I haven't taught this in a while. OK. Give me 10,000 coins.
Sonic: WHAT? No! I use RINGS in my world!
Tippi: And he's the hero of worlds!
Bestovious: He's the hero of worlds? I thought he was an imposter!
Tippi: If you thought he was an imposter, then why would you teach him!
Bestovious: Look, I'll give him a deal. I'll give you a 27% discount for being the 50th customer!
Sonic and Tippi both fell down, Anime style. Although Tippi more or less just floated down slowly.
Bestovius: 83.8% discount?
Sonic: No! Teach us free! I'm the hero of WORLDS!
Bestovious: OK, OK...
A pole came out of the ground.
Bestovious: So what you wanna do is...
Sonic/Tippi: FLIP, NOT STRIP!
Bestovious sighed and the pole went back down. He pulled a book out of his robe and checked the pages. He found the page and tossed the book out the window.
Bestovious: ZIPPIE-DEE-DO-DAH! HAKUNAH MATTA! PUSHY BUSHY! FFLLIIPP!
More special effects reserved for a student's first Vegas project apperaed anc covered Sonic. Moments later, they dissapered.
Text Bawks: You got the thing! The thing being the ability too flip into 3D! And guess what? No one else can learn it!
Sonic: And why won't that be.
Bestovious: Come back after Chapter 6 for the Side Quest. So, anyways, all you have to do is press "A" and then BAM, you're 3DS quality!
Sonic: WHAT "A" BUTTON!
Bestovious slaps Sonic.
Bestovious: I was telling them!
Sonic: Well excuse me, princess...
Bestovious was about to say something, but then Sonic decids to try his 3D power. Concentrating REALLY hard, he manages to switch dimension.
Sonic: Awesome! Now it can be a real 3D Sonic game!
Tippi: Actually, you can't stay like this forever.
Sonic: And why would that be?
Tippi: You see that meter up there?
Sonic looks up and saw a meter that is slowly decreasing.
Tippi: If that hits zero, you get hurt.
Sonic nods, grabs the two items and goes through the door. Once outside the house, Sonic goes back to the brick blockade and flips into 3D. He went past the bricks and goes through the door.
Sonic: I really like this 3D thing, Beat.
Sonic: It's a lot better then Jaws 3D, that's for sure. But enough of that. Let's move on!
Skipping ahead a little (after the Squilet Barbeque), Sonic comes to an impassible gap.
Sonic: If only Tails were here. He could fly over.
Tippi: Well, he's not.
Sonic: OK. I'm gonna see if I can jump.
Sonic runs back, charges up a spin dash, dashes forward, propels himself off the ground and falls into the pit. He reappears back on the ledge.
Sonic: Why does this always happen to me?
Tippi: I don't know. Why don't you try flipping into 3D?
Sonic: And miss out on all the possibilities for jokes? Like me falling into the pit again?
Tippi: No. Just flip into 3D.
Sonic: Your no fun.
Sonic flips into 3D and crosses the hill in the background. Sonic is annoyed and Tippi is just relived to be moving on. Past another door, Sonic hits a ? block and a star jumps out,
Sonic: What's that?
Tippi: That's a Mega Star. Use it to grow big and become invincible.
Sonic grabs the Mega Star and mini-versions of himself draw a giant, 16-bit Sonic.
Sonic: This is cool. Well, time to rampage!
Sonic runs forward, causing chaos and destruction. Tippi tries to keep up. Somewhere down the road, a certain someone sees Sonic in his Mega form.
Mariotehplumber: SEGA FINALLY LISTENED TO ME! THEY PUT IN THE CLASSIC SONIC, NOT THE HENTAI SONIC! THEY PUT IN THE F***ING CLASSIC SONIC WITH THE GOOD EYES AND THE GOOD NOSE AND THE GOOD QUILLS AND THE GOOD BODY PROPORTIONS AND THE GOOD ATTITUDE AND THE GOOD SHADE OF BLUE AND THE-
Sonic steps on him.
Sonic: My Grambi, I killed a troll.
Tippi: He... He was a troll... It's... Not important.
Sonic shrinks down to his regular size.
Sonic: You OK, Beat?
Tippi: I'm fine. Just keep going.
Tippi lands on Sonic's shoulder and the hedgehog nods. He dashes off to the end of the stage, where he finds a star in a block.
Sonic: I have no idea what that is, but I'm gonna hit it anyways.
Sonic jumps up and hits it. The world around him freezes and everything fades to white.
END OF CHAPTER!
A/N: I'm sorry if the ending seems kind of rushed; I just wanted to get this chapter out today. So, anyways, this is That Gamer saying "Bonum nocte et fortuna."