Sorry for doing this, but seeing as the reviewer was anonymous, I couldn't privately message them back…
So to, The De-Sueifier…
I'm not taking it as a flame, so don't worry(: and I know that Railah is a Mary-Sue, this was the very first fanfiction story I have literally ever written, and she's not the only one. I have another story where the main character is a Mary-Sue as well. For some reason, those types amuse me (to a point; I also tend to get annoyed by them) but I don't feel she's exotic in any sense. I'm Hawaiian. We're all American, so Hawaiian-American is really just Hawaiian. Hawai'i was made a state in 1959. And a lot of the people who live here have dark skin with green eyes, and dark hair; but like a lot of people in other places, we also bleach our hair blonde. Now, I'm also half-white because of my dad, so my brother and I have light skin like him, but dark hair like our mom. And we weren't the lucky ones to get colored eyes (although I have very light brown, and my brother's are very dark brown) but I tend to constantly bleach my hair blonde. It makes me look more like a white girl. And I had a phase where I keep my bangs dark, but bleach the rest of my hair. I also once bleached only my bangs, and kept the rest of my hair dark, and there was a stage with pink hair, blue hair, red hair, green streaks, and golden streaks. It's currently all just bleached with pink bangs though… I'm fine with not having dark skin because aside from my brother, we're the only white ones in my mom's side of the family. So it's amusing, 'cause at our reunions, or just at a relatives' house, we can never really blend in with our family. Tattoos are also very common, and some of the ones that I gave Railah are my own – it's a thing of mine from when I was 16 and got my first one; I put them into the story, it's a bad habit of mine that I'll admit. I do that in all of my stories. And actually although I guess you could say Railah looks exotic, I was looking at this girl on the bus sitting across from me when I thought of her looks. And her name is from one of my little cousins.
I put so much detail into how she looks because it's another habit of mine. I do it in all of my stories that I have on here, and I used to do it in school as well when my teachers would assign us 'stories' to write, or sometimes even essays. For some reason I've always been more fascinated by the descriptions of people in stories and movies, than actual plots.
The actual reason I gave her a terrible life story is because it's a true story… well, not the whole being a witch thing or best friends with Harry Potter. But the having her parents killed because of her aunt? I have a friend whose parents were killed because his uncle owed some guy money for drugs. I'm not entirely sure, but I think a lot of people may have stories like that. And the being raped at a party thing? I had this one reviewer for another story of mine, and she literally said that I fantasized about being raped which is why I put it into the story, I won't explain as much as I explained to her, because you aren't insinuating that, but as I said, this was my very first fanfiction that I wrote, and I put a lot of personal things into it: the being Hawaiian thing, having a relative who lives in another country, living on Oahu, the tattoos, the bleached hair with dark bangs, the name, the murder, and even the rape, and the cutting issues. I wasn't the one who was raped, but I have a lot of friends and family who have been raped. And one of my very good friends was even raped at a party that her cousin took her to, and the guys got off free of charge. She started to cut herself because of it. I used to cut myself during a phase of my life as well, and so have many other people that I know, and even more people that I don't know. I stopped because my little brother found out, and the hurt in his eyes pained me even more… so I put those things into this story because I have a lot of other personal things in here as well, and this story was originally the first fanfiction I wrote, and I thought it would have been cool if maybe one day I was saved or my friends or cousins were saved because of some type of Veela bond thing.
I don't usually give my characters a normal life. I tried it once, but I couldn't get past the first page of the story. I think only this one, and two other stories of mine are this extreme though, I've gotten really better at the writing thing and better at the whole less depressing thing as well. In a way Railah is real because she's based off of an assortment of real people (again, except for the whole witch thing, Veela thing, and going to Hogwarts thing). She's not based on just one person, but a whole bunch of people that I have met in my life, and that I know personally.
I really didn't get hurt or offended with your review, and trust me, I don't take this as a flame either. I sometimes look forward to getting reviews like this because it tells me what a reader really thinks of my ideas and my writing potential, and your review wasn't anywhere near the one for my other story. I mean, she actually said I fantasize of being raped… but you were polite, honest, and I thank you for that. I just wanted the chance to explain myself to you.
But I do agree with you in the whole Mary-Sue part, because it was somewhat done intentionally. I'm sorry though, I don't plan on rewriting Railah, because I like how I wrote her. I have to go back and fix spelling and grammar mistakes, but not the storyline. I haven't updated in a while because I'm currently stuck on the next chapter, and I'm also currently stitched up from a surgery I just had a couple of days ago. I don't intend on giving up on this story at all, but I'm just stuck…
She will change eventually (not in the way you're most likely hoping though) as the story does move along though, because the story will move on and more things will happen. I have it all planned out, just not written yet because I'm stuck on writing it, but she does grow overtime. It's only been 12 chapters so far, and as I keep pointing out – this was literally the first fanfiction I've ever written. I've never read The Heroes of Olympus by Rick Riordan before, so I don't know anything about that Piper person, but is Railah really like her? I think I'm sort of more flattered than appalled at the idea of that then. My character is like a famous character(:
So again, I thank you for your review, and I'm happy that you think it could get better, but I won't change it. So I'm sorry for probably losing a reader, but this is how I see her and this is what I see.
I hope I didn't offend you by responding like this, but if you take yourself off of anonymous I could respond privately next time(:
And for my other readers (if you guys actually read this) thank you for all of your kind reviews, and I'm sorry for making you wait so long, but as I mentioned above I'm stuck on the next chapter. I have some of it written out, and I know what I want to happen, but every time I go to write it out, I just get stuck. But I promise I won't give up on this story at all(:
-Evelynn Leilani (yes, that's my actual first and middle name – I'm named after my grandma and mom)