Author's Note: Hi there. :) I know that I should be updating my other fics, but I really wanted to type this out in case the idea flies out of my head. Again, I'm sorry if my plot is cliche. Oh, and I'll try to keep my Author's Notes short because I know that it can get really irritating when you read stories with long ones.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice or any of its characters, and I never will.

Trusty Chatbox

xxOneshotxx

It's not often that I praise someone or something, but chatboxes are just about the best things ever invented.


'How to get your crush to spill his/her secrets!' I stared at the flyer that Imai had pushed into my hand. I looked around my shoulder to burn that impassive girl but, of course, she'd already taken off on that childish scooter shaped like a duck or whatever it is.

Imai must be PMS-ing. She had been throwing rubbish flyers like this to me this whole week. She even gave me one which was titled 'How to give your woman a good time in bed'. I burned it into a crisp, obviously. Well, why would I even need something like that? I'm Natsume Hyuuga, duh. I was already experienced in that area without reading crap like that. Damn, that made me sound like a pervert, but whatever.

Okay, first things first. Crush? Ew, that made me sound so pathetic, like those noisy squealing fangirls of mine. Honestly, they can make even a normally cool and calm me go a little bonkers. But well, I might as well read this stupid thing that Imai had given me. I wanted to dig out a few secrets about Polka Dots, anyway, so that I could tease her about them.

Holy crap, did I just admit that my crush was Polka Dots? Ugh. Imai had seriously driven me crazy with all these crap flyers. My eyes followed the curly, girlish font on the flyer.

How to get your crush to spill his/her secrets!

Hi there, sneaky little thief! Wanna know how to unfurl a few secrets about your crush? It's actually easy peasy! Let me teach you how to! ;)

First, create a brand-new MSN account (in this case, since you're an Alice and cannot use MSN, create a new Alice Chat account) using a fake name and identity. Be sure not to reveal your true identity, or your whole plan will turn into dust! Chat to your crush and slowly, after some time, ask him/her questions like, 'Who's your crush?' to find out if your love is one-sided. But do be subtle and don't rush things, or it will backfire really badly! Good luck, sweetheart!

Tch, who'd be silly enough to do something so sneaky and idiotic? Not me, that's for sure.

...

Okay, fine. A couple of hours later, I was holed up in my dorm, creating a new e-mail address. Not that I was admitting that I was stupid and silly, okay? Tch. I couldn't help it too. When you're bored, you do crazy things. That's a fact. I decided to pass off as a girl, since I reckoned it would be easier for girls to do heart-to-heart talks.

I had no idea what to name my fake identity, since I wasn't good with names, especially not girls' names. I have never called any girl by her first name, except probably Polka Dots. I surfed the Internet and randomly chose a name. Chiyoko. Yucks, extremely girlish, but I went along with it.

As soon as I had added Mikan's e-mail to my list, I heard a digital popping sound and a chatbox popped up on my laptop's screen.

MikanHowalon: Hi! :D Nice to meet you, my name is Mikan Sakura! :) :) :)

Ugh, did she have to insert so many smileys? And her name, MikanHowalon? Seriously, you'd think that she was married to Howalon. Pfft.

Chiyoko: Oh, hi! My name is Chiyoko. :) How are you, Mikan-chan?

Someone bring me a bucket. I thought I was going to throw up. Exclamation mark? Smiley? '-chan'? So not my style. It pained me just to type those corny stuff.

MikanHowalon: Aww, Chiyoko-chan, that's such a cute name! :D I'm great, except that a jerk just bullied me. T_T

Chiyoko: Oh, who? Who would want to bully someone as nice as you? :O

Bucket, bucket, bucket, I needed one badly.

MikanHowalon: A jerk named Natsume Jackass Hyuuga. T_T

Natsume Jackass Hyuuga? Whoa, you're really pushing the limits, childish Polka Dots. I gritted my teeth as I banged out my next words on the keyboard.

Chiyoko: Aww, why did he bully you? And how?

How ironic. You're chatting and complaining about bullying to someone who bullied you.

MikanHowalon: He's a god-damn sadist. T_T He tripped me and flipped my skirt. :'(

You so deserved it. Yeah, I'm a sadist, got a problem with that? And it's just your own freaking fault that you can trip on floors as flat as your chest, FLAT-AS-A-RUNWAY. Okay, childish, I know, but I seriously needed to rant.

Chiyoko: The pervert! :O He so deserves to die!

I might be acting a little too well. Seriously, telling yourself to go and die, and calling yourself a pervert?

MikanHowalon: He does!

You're so going to get it, P—

MikanHowalon: But he isn't all that bad, honestly. He can also be a little clumsy and shy and kind.

Clumsy? Shy? Kind? Puh-leese. I tried to convince myself that the warm, fluttery feelings inside me were just frustration and annoyance.

Chiyoko: Ooh, it sounds as though he's a really cool person. ;)

Let's get this straight, I am not narcissistic. I was just getting into character.

MikanHowalon: ... He's not really cool. But he's popular with girls. Haven't you heard of him? He's rather notorious in Alice Academy. o.O

Being notorious wasn't my choice, right? And being popular with freaky fangirls wasn't my choice too. Tch.

Chiyoko: Yeah, I've heard of him.

Of course I have. If I hadn't, I'd probably be inside an asylum now.

MikanHowalon: I figured! He's extremely annoying and a pervert and unfriendly and emotionless!

Chiyoko: He sounds like a super cool guy. I'd love to talk to him.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

MikanHowalon: ... No, don't! Uh, I mean, he's really evil, so don't talk to him. Really. You'd regret it.

... Are you... jealous? Are you trying to keep a 'girl' away from me? Yeah, right. You probably wanted me to have a girlfriend so that I'd stop harassing you. But... since I had this golden opportunity, I might as well make good use of it.

Chiyoko: It sounds as if you're jealous. You like him, don't you?

MikanHowalon: I do...

That was too easy. But judging from Mikan's stupid brain, she probably meant it in another way. Sheesh.

Chiyoko: I meant romantically, not just as a friend.

MikanHowalon: Err... I don't! He's, well, just an annoying jerk!

Chiyoko: Come on. We don't even know each other, so you can trust me with this secret.

MikanHowalon: ... Err, fine. I do like him. But he hates me to the core. He thinks I'm a stupid pig.

You are a stupid pig. But I'm stupid too, because I fell in love with a stupid pig. However, you're the biggest idiot in the whole wide universe, because you don't even realise that I love you, but instead thought that I hate you, stupid Mikan Sakura. Oh my God, did I just say that? Corny. The radiation or whatever from the computer must be making me go nuts.

Chiyoko: See what I told you? :) Anyway, I have to go now, see you!

Chiyoko has logged out.

Natsume Hyuuga has logged in.

Natsume Hyuuga: Oi, thanks, Imai.

Hotaru Imai: A mere 'thank you' isn't going to work. Buy me some crab brains, plus another 50 rabbits.

Natsume Hyuuga: ... Whatever... I'll buy you crap, brains, and fluffy white rabbits.

Hotaru Imai: How ungrateful. Never mind, I'll tell Mikan that Chiyoko is actually Natsume Hyuuga...

Natsume Hyuuga: Damn you. How did you know that?

Hotaru Imai: I am Hotaru Imai. I have my ways. So, crab brains and 50 rabbits. I will be waiting. Isn't it worth it? You got to read a confession from your crush, and your matchmaker just wants crab brains and 50 rabbits. So deal with it.

Natsume Hyuuga: *smirks* That's where you're wrong, Imai. The definition of the word 'crush' is a one-sided love affair, but, eat your heart out, because this is not one-sided.

It's not often that I praise someone or something, but chatboxes are just about the best things ever invented.


That was... short. Please review! :)