New for username for myself, new update for you guys. Yay?
Longer chapter than most, but that's because it contains the awesome that is Superman.
Disclaimer: Don't own anything that is the copyrights of DC characters.
"You'll never win, Luthor."
Superman had been brought to his knees by his enemy Lex Luthor, who was armed with a rock of kryptonite on top of wearing a nuclear powered metal battle suit, and the Kryptonian felt himself becoming weaker with every step that Lex Luthor took closer to him. As he fell within Luthor's shadow, blocking him from the Metropolis sun, he heard his bald enemy chuckle before the villain began to speak.
"I just did, Superman, and the world will finally see you for what you truly are. An invader from the stars, an obstacle that stands in the way of human achievement. You've been holding us back, and with you gone we will be free to reach our potential."
With every instant that passed he had greater difficulty even holding himself up, but Superman refused to go down. He wasn't sure whether or not he would survive this conflict with his great enemy, and at the moment it seemed like he wouldn't, but he wouldn't give Luthor the satisfaction of dying like an animal. He looked up at Luthor, using the last of his strength to stare into his soul, and Superman decided that if he had to die that he would die defiantly.
"There will always be someone to stand up for truth and justice."
Superman shut his eyes as Lex Luthor prepared his mecha fist for the killing blow, but he opened them back up again as heard something crash and as he felt the sun of Metropolis shining back on him. Standing up, feeling his energy return to him, Superman saw that Lex Luthor was now a good twenty feet away from him, mangled in his robotic suit, and that there was now a blue Nissan Stanza sitting where Luthor had been standing. The super villain had been hit by the car.
Looking back at the twitching Luthor, seeing that he wasn't going anywhere, Superman put his attention back on the car that had a man in a poorly stitched Bat-suit sitting in the driver's seat, and a little boy riding shotgun. Deciding to ignore what easily qualified as child endangerment, Superman waited for the driver of the Nissan Stanza to get out of the car and approach him.
"Thanks for the assist, Luthor almost had me back there."
Superman knew that he was in trouble the moment that the man in the poorly stitched Bat-suit began grinning like a little boy in candy shop, which also happened to be one that sold comic books and psychic tandem war-elephants.
"It's no problem, Super Pal. Us superheroes have to stick together."
Raising an eyebrow in skepticism, especially since crashing a rather old car that had a child in it into a man wearing a mecha suit armed with countless missiles and lasers didn't really convey heroism, Superman shuffled awkwardly for a moment.
"You're a superhero?"
"I'm Batman, Gotham's Dark Knight and silent protector."
Nodding his head, the Man of Steel suddenly realized why exactly the person in front of him had an air about him that was the rare combination of both insane and insanely stupid. Starting a family and raising a child in Gotham City was asking for that child to grow up to be either a criminal or a lunatic, usually both.
"So, uh, you hit Luthor with a car?"
"It's my newest Batmobile. My old Vista Cruiser wasn't missile launcher compatible."
Superman wasn't quite sure what to make of the self-proclaimed superhero that was in front of him. Clearly Batman meant well, otherwise the Gotham native wouldn't have helped him against Lex Luthor, but he had to question the wisdom of attaching missiles of all things to an old car that could barely run. Studying the Nissan Stanza for a moment, Superman came to the conclusion that the car was probably in even worse shape before it had run over Luthor.
"Why's it powder blue?"
"If your car is a Batmobile, then why is it blue? Wouldn't black be better?"
Batman looked over at his Batmobile for a second, scratched his butt, and then turned back to Superman. The Dark Knight didn't seem to notice the Kryptonian's look of disgust.
"Blue works just fine for conveying the mantle of the Bat."
"Bats aren't blue."
"You've obviously never played Pokemon."
"Right." Hating to be rude like Mama Kent had always taught him, but hating even more trying to have actual conversations with people who probably didn't even know how to spell the word 'conversations', Superman began slowly floating away. He considered offering Batman and his possibly kidnapped sidekick a lift back home, but decided against it when he saw Batman scratch his butt again, "I think I should go, but thanks for the help again. The police should be able to handle Luthor from here."
Puffing his chest out in pride for helping another superhero out for the first time, Batman felt like going out for Pizza with Alfred and Robin to celebrate later. He stopped though when he saw something shiny buried beneath some rocks that were beside his Batmobile. Walking over to the rocks, and digging out what was shinning through, what he found was some sort of green shiny stone. Figuring that it probably belonged to Superman, Batman called out to the Man of Steel before tossing the green rock in his direction as hard as he could.
"Oh hey, you dropped this!"
Turning to face Batman, Superman would later greatly regret this decision.
Metropolis' favorite son never finished what he was going to say, because a huge chunk of kryptonite became lodged in his mouth. Feeling his power became almost non-existent within the next second, Superman plunged back to the Earth, and landed right beside the mangled Lex Luthor. All he could do was twitch in unison with Luthor, and almost die, as he heard a car start up and begin to drive away. The Man of Steel decided that if he survived what had just happened to him, that he would have a new archenemy.
I'm here all week.