They are watching the movie Armageddon (1998, Bruce Willis, Billy Bob Thornton, Liv Tyler). About valorous American astronauts who have to visit the Russian space station "Mir" where a lonely Russian cosmonaut has being working for one and a half year…


- Actually, I have shaved for nearly 300 years already.

- Yep - Alfred brushed him aside for the umpteenth time. The movie was so exciting for him that he only managed to continuously move his jaws, munching popcorn.

- Is his name Lev Andropov? It's somewhere between Lev Trotsky and Yuri Andropov? Well, fortunately not Ivan Vrago ...

- Andrrrropov sounds as long and complicated as Brrraginsky, all your names are grrrinding – like hell to pronounce.

- I have all Americans named John – it means "Vanya" in Russian. Thus you are to be Alfred Ivanovich.

- Quiet! They have arrived at the space station "Mir". It's beginning!

- Will there be a bear? - Ivan was having a good time.

- What are you talking about? You know, The Greens would be in uproar.


- America, did he come out, more like crawl out in the open space just in a quilted jacket and a fur hat?

- Uh-huh. You've got frost in Siberia? And so you go that way.

- But not -250!

- Just Fahrenheit...


On the screen an American astronaut is asking a Russian astronaut to provide a uniform for him.

- I bet he's giving him now... Oh, yes – a quilted jacket and a fur hat! – Ivan's starting to grin. – Of course, I did not invent ... how the civilized call it… a space-suit.

- Can you keep quiet? The real action begins now!


On the screen Lev Andropov takes away from Bruce Willis a picture with following words: "Do not touch! This is my father. He worked at the factory and produced such missiles, which are aimed at New York and Washington".

- America, - Ivan begins to laugh out loud - I ... I ... Oh, I can not ... you're a fucking paranoiac!

- Look who's talking!

- The Cold War is over, you know?

Alfred brushed him aside looking to the screen where everything was being exploded. Ivan stopped laughing and raised his eyebrows in surprise.

- Did you blow my "Mir" up?

-It's just for fun.

-No, wait. I kept silent when a balmy Russian was beating the flight desk with a breaker bar; I bore but kept silent when he continually shouted: "I am a hero!" By the way, why did he say so?

-Ivan, it's only a film. A fantasy. Relax!

-Jones, I have always wondered – you were at the "Mir", you were at my home, at least, you have spied on me for many years – don't deny. So then why do you cultivate this awful image which attracts you so much according to lots of your movies.

-Attracts me? Don't make me laugh! How THIS could be attractive? Unhewn, unshaven, drunk…I'd better…- Alfred became nervous. – Well, get out, Braginsky!

-Uhuh, I'll go out – Russia stood up – it's time to drink vodka and walk my bear in the nuclear testing facilities.

-Go-go. Dosvidania, spasibo, pojalyista (1).

Ivan gave the screw-loose sign and went away.

(1) Bye, thank you, please (in Russian).