Summary: Xellos and Group get drunk off their asses and this is what they do while under the influence. Problem is... they go into debt... Yes, Val is in this. Just don't question it man! He's been turned good and so on... Hey, it's MY story, and being a fanfiction it can be ANYTHING I want it to be. You got a problem with that… Suffer. *Sings* It's my story and I'll do what I want to! *Pauses. * I'm sure someone else has said the same too.... Shadow Dancer, please don't kill me for the fact I had Valgaav age so quickly.

Disclaimers: My mom came up with part of the evil idea around, 2001 early in the year when I met Claire - Chan. Anyway while waiting to leave Canada to get back into good ol' Washington, I joked about how funny it would be to get Xellos drunk. And from there on mom came up with the idea of him getting a tattoo on.... and well, Claire and I decided to write our own stories to the basic plot which is: Xell gets drunk and something very interesting happens. Here's my rendition:

A Tattoo Never to Forget

"Oh come on Zelgadis! You HAVE to come with us!"

"NO Gourry! Absolutely positively not! I refuse to go and watch women strip, while you waist your gold by putting it down their-"

"Nothing's gonna happen!" Val argued.

Zelgadis snorted, "Oh YES, I'm sure that's exactly what won't happen tonight. I can't believe you are so naive to think that a trip to the stripping club won't wind up with every single one of you drunk off your asses, and in worse trouble then you've been in before... Think about it, this is Xellos who arranged for this little celebration outing!"

"Yeah, maybe so, but Milgazia's coming along! What could possibly go wrong!?" Gourry asked.

"You want a list?!" Zelgadis asked incredulous.


Val interrupted Gourry, "Listen Zelgadis, it's just going to be a few drinks and watching gorgeous women."

"Don't forget men strip there too," Gourry added, "It's a strip bar for women and men."

Zelgadis' eyes twitched, "I. Am. Staying. Here," he gritted out. "Now Leave me be while I read." he then went outside to the picnic tables where Amelia and Lina were playing a new game they had found called 'Wizards Chess', Milgazia was seated next to Lina, and he placed himself on the other side of her.

"Oh what a rock in the mud," Val sighed.

Xellos teleported behind them suddenly. "So! Who's all going? Did you convince stone boy to remove that stick from his ass and join the fun?" he asked cheerfully.

"There's a stick up Zelgadis' ass? Wow, I didn't know that, must be awfully painful," Gourry pondered.

"After a few years I'm sure the pain has dulled down," Val muttered. "So we're going tonight? I'm surprised you got Milgazia to come along! I thought he hated you."

"Oh I'm not to thank for THAT little miracle. Your mother got paranoid knowing that I was taking us out for a night on the town, so she requested that Milgazia keep a watch on things."

"I can't imagine why!" shouted Zelgadis suddenly from the table.

"Damn him and his keen hearing," Xellos pouted.


Later That Evening....


Xellos chugged back on his sixth glass of wine and let out a sound of enjoyment as he took in lost air. He, Milgazia, Gourry, and Val had finally left for the their little party place. Not only was it a strip joint but also was a strip joint for females and males. Meaning not only did gorgeous ladies undress before their very eyes, but men did too. (Which was explained before.) Which in truth everyone besides him (Xellos that is), had been slightly disgusted at.

Val had turned what they had assumed to be eighteen and Xellos decided it was time to celebrate by getting him drunk off his ass, and letting him view the female body while doing so. They really couldn't tell how old he was, because of the fact he was different race, but in a year for some unknown reason he went from hatchling to a young adult. And for some reason, a few of his memories had resurfaced. But that was beside the point. He was eighteen and wanted to go get drinks. And so there they were.

As the loud music roared on Xellos grinned evilly as the ever-stoic dragon lord, read through a book he had brought with him. Now what fun was that if he didn't enjoy the show? So being the ever-cheerful little HELPER Xellos stood and plopped himself next to Milgazia.

"All work and no play makes Milgazia a dull boy."

"Some people play too much," he replied smoothly.

"Yare yare, you should be enjoying the view of these lovely luscious ladies, besides, with how bad this lighting is, reading that could kill your eyes. Then where would you be? Your eyesight would catch up with your age and leave you blind."

"My eyesight is just fine thank you."

Xellos frowned, this wasn't any fun, and he placed his head on his hand while his elbow rested on the table. What to do, what to do, what to- He froze as he realized the only thing Milgazia had been drinking all night, was the silver pot of tea the waitress had brought to him and would refill.... Hmmm.....

"Milgazia-san, you don't mind if I take some of this now do you? Why thank you!" Milgazia frowned, but did not protest as Xellos took the pot, and then accidentally dropped it while he was reaching for a glass. "Oh pooh," He pouted.

"Xellos, you're obviously not in your right state of mind, I highly suggest you let me pour it."

"Hmm it seems to have spilled. No worries! I'll go get you more tea!" he stood up, grabbed the pot and weaved his way between people, strippers, and the occasional chairs of men getting lap dances. As he went over to the bar he leaned over to the bartender, whispered in his ear, slipped him a few gold coins, and was on his way to mixing tea and alcohol.

A bit of this, a dash of that, and it would still taste like tea, except with a slight tang, and I can always pawn it off as a special tea blend they have here.... He thought to himself. He then took the pot and requested two more, and filled them also. And then walked his way merrily with three hot pots on a tray. By the time he reached the table Milgazia had given up on the book, but had turned his attention to the chaos around him with a somewhat bemused, and nearly confused, look.

"Here you go Milgazia-san! I hope you enjoy their tea! It smells absolutely delicious!" he said cheerfully.

"You like tea?" Milgazia raised an eyebrow.

"But of course, while one causes chaos, they find the need for something relaxing! Now drink up! I have my OWN drink to tend to! And why don't we play poker while were at it?!" He sweat dropped as he realized Val and Gourry we're a little too preoccupied whistling and enjoying the dances, to be listening to him at the moment. "How bout you Milgazia-san? Why don't we play poker?"

Milgazia poured himself a cup of tea, still unsure of if it was poisoned or not. But Xellos wouldn't poison him in a crowded place right? At least, he didn't think he would poison him in a crowded place... He took sip of the hot tea and he closed his eyes as his nose drew in the scent, oranges, apples, a bit of cinnamon and a few other odors he didn't recognize, as well as a strange after taste. But all in all, he found it strangely... Tasty. He continued drinking it, as Xellos tried to hold back a smirk. "I do not know how to play this 'Poke – Her'."

Xellos nearly snorted the alcohol he was about to swallow, up his nose, "Not 'Poke - Her', 'POKER'. It's a card game..."

About three hours later, Milgazia was working on his fourth tea pot, (refills!) and pushing his sixth bath room break, while Xellos was SURE the cards were actually dancing. He and Milgazia had finally given up trying to figure out what cards were which, and were watching the pretty ladies dance... He probably should have watched himself, a blurry part of Xellos' mind told him. But he really wasn't paying all that much attention to it for he was watching a long-haired blonde do a very enticing dance. And had she been Filia he would have been more affected then he was now. As she continued on he had filled and drained another glass of wine. He was more drunk then any of them were by this time and his mind began to wander.

The lights shined brightly on the woman's golden hair and his memory flashed back to watching Filia when the sun had been shining on her hair-- and then his mind said; 'Now imagine Filia in the place of that dancer--'

He soon shifted and was very uncomfortable. He took his eyes off the dancer trying to fight down the arousal in his mind and body now. He was almost grateful that Milgazia seemed to be in the same shape as HE was... Except he was looking at the brunettes and red heads…

'Something to take my mind off-' he saw a bar on the left hand side and in the back of the right hand side was a reclining chair and various items and the word on the sign overhead read, 'Tattoos'.

"Hey guys... lets go get a tash-too." he slurred.

"Shuure... why not?" Valgaav stumbled up from his chair and followed behind Xellos as Milgazia and Gourry stood too.

"Hey -- I'd like a tattoo!" Xellos said as he plopped back in the chair. A tall thin man with long hair pulled into a ponytail looked up from his magazine.

"What kind and where?" he stood up and put down his magazine, setting up two large silk screens to give privacy to him, and the four men.

"You know what a gold dragon looks like?" he slurred, Milgazia raised an eyebrow.

              "Course... Drawn 'em lots of times. Young? Old? Or hatchling?" He set up his tools and started pulling out the necessary trays.

"Young... older hatchling, younger dragon... with a pink bow on the tail... blonde mane of hair... blue eyes... and a mace in one of her claws..." his words were lazy, and almost gave the impression that they were tripping over his tongue, but the man understood him none the less.

"And colored or black and white?"


Milgazia, Valgaav, and Gourry sat back in the extra chairs, music still playing and screams and hollers of enjoyment still sounding.

"We want tattoos too when your done!" Valgaav said as he looked through one of the books of tattoos.

"We do?" Milgazia asked, still trying to understand and comprehend what was going on through the blanket of fog the alcohol he had unknowingly drunk had created. At his question, Valgaav elbowed him and told him to quiet down.

"Wonderful... all righty then... where would you like it to be?" the man's marker was in his hand and Xellos paused to think for a moment. He then motioned for the man to come closer and whispered in his ear--

The man's eyes widened slightly leaving the rest clueless and wanting to know what was going on…

"Oh my that is an interesting place to have a tattoo..." the man trailed off. "I've not had that request many times.... well if I am to put it where you want it, you know it can't be flaccid... and that means it'll be more sensitive when it's--- Do you still want it

there? And if you do can you actually get it to....?"

            Valgaav's eyes bugged as Milgazia's eye twitched, both having successfully deduced WHERE the tattoo was going.

            "I'm too young for this…" Valgaav stood, "I don't need to be scarred, call us back here when you're done mister…" With that he grabbed Milgazia and Gourry and together they stumbled away closing the screens better behind them… (Somewhat)

Xellos nodded them good bye and turned back to the man and his words tumbled out, "Pains no deal to me... ash for the other shing... That's already taken care of..." considering that the thought of Filia dancing in the bar had been a very arousing thought in itself, that part was already done.

"All right then lets get to work--"

(You'd think with all the alcohol he had he'd have whiskey di… errrr manhood…)

* * *

Xellos was still heavily drunk by the time the last of their group had finally gotten their tattoos. Gourry, Milgazia, and Valgaav had been fixing themselves up when the man, whose name they found out was Jeremiah, held up the total to what they owed him.

"Forty gold per tattoo?!" Gourry's drunken mind processed this very bad fact, fairly quickly. Not only were all of them completely broke from spending it at the bar and on the dancing women, but all the bandits within a twenty-mile radius had been robbed previously by Lina. Meaning that nowhere close by was there any quick cash. And if they left town they'd be in serious trouble...

Xellos' mind also reeled slightly, nope he had no extra stash that he knew of. And he could go and try to get some gold some 100 miles away from where they were. But he was plain too drunk.

"We don't have that kind of money," Milgazia said. "I have five gold left and that's it! Together with all of us maybe ten!"

Jeremiah frowned. "Well you realize your going to have to pay this off. Your tattoos were in color and quite elaborate for some of you. THAT'S why it's so expensive. This stuff is brand new and pretty rare," Jeremiah explained

The group listened intently, quickly sobering up from what they were hearing.

"You guys can either turn yourselves in and the authorities pay me, or you guys work here at my place. By the end of the weekdays I can guarantee you, if you are good at what you do, you'll have enough to pay me. You may even want to just work here permanently. I get all that you earn until I'm paid my forty gold each."

"Work here? You mean as waiters?"

The man laughed, "You'd be stuck here for weeks if I had you do that! No, dancers! You'd be one of the dancers. We don't have many good looking men here and with you four gentleman I'm sure we could get a lot more women customers." The man grinned and they all shifted uncomfortable, Milgazia's left eye twitched involuntarily. "And if you don't--" The mans aura grew very large as he glared at them sinisterly. "I will make you all pay in different aspects, even if I have to carve the tattoos back off of you."

The men cringed and Xellos decided he could always just teleport away… But then he'd have a warrant on his head. Not that that seriously bothered him but being well known... he just didn't want to be.

"I can get you the money tonight," he said.

Valgaav growled evilly and grabbed Xellos by his collar, "Oh no you don't, if WE have to work off our debt SO DO YOU."

Xellos sweat dropped. "Who do you think your threatening here?"

"Oh if you don't we'll make sure to let it slip to Filia just WHAT and WHERE you got a certain tattoo Xellos." Valgaav glared. If he had to be embarrassed so did Xellos.

"And you can't kill us because then the girls would get suspicious. Especially if anything else happened to us," Gourry stated.

Xellos sighed, "Fine I'll do it. Sheesh," he then brightened, "After all the thought of women sticking their hands down my--"


"We'll do it," answered Valgaav after decking the Mazoku.

"Part of the job deal is that you ARE in a strip club though," Jeremiah said.

"Which means we have to completely strip!" Gourry said figuring it out as the others blinked. Then Gourry realized what he had said, "HEY!"

"Thats it or no deal," Jeremiah said. Sweat drops hung all around.

"FINE," Val grumbled.

"And don't think about skipping town. I have many friends..." Jeremiah said chuckling. He then cleaned off the last of his tools putting them up. "So come back here at sunrise you'll work till dawn with 15 min breaks every half hour. And one, one hour break for eating."

"All right..." Valgaav grumbled.

"And what hotel are you working at and your names?" he pulled out some parchment.

"We're staying at Dragon's Inn. Our names, he's Xellos, I'm Valgaav, he's Zelgadis, and that's Gourry."

"Alright then," he jotted down some more writing before rolling it up, "Well you're free to go now my dear gentleman."

They nodded and headed out, still half out of it, and deeply wishing they hadn't wasted all their cash.

                                            * * * * *


Valgaav's head pounded in protest, at first he thought the wham's were his own head, but then realized it was someone at his door.

"What?!?" he shouted irritably, he winced and lowered his head to the pillow. Ok nooo shouting....

"Get up you lazy ass! We let you guys go have your fun, and you sleep in till noon?!? Come on I wanna go to the next town!" Lina's voice was like nails on a chalkboard to his ears and he groaned. After a minute of sheer silence he heard her frustrated cry again, "Valgaav Ul Copt if you don't get your ass to this door I'm coming in myself."

"Whatever--" he mumbled darkly. Let her come in, it couldn't get any worse. He had the ultimate of hangover's and he personally had forgoten who he was talking with.

Lina slammed open the door after another moment and stopped dead in her tracks at the sight before her.

He had also forgotten that he had fallen asleep in the buff.