A/N: I do like crack! That's why I keep coming back to it :) I just thought this idea would be funny and I hope it makes you laugh! That's the important thing.
Gwen chewed her lip.
Since she did this a lot, nobody thought anything of it. In fact, as a general rule, her friends tended to take Gwen for granted and not pay all that much attention to her. Being a wallflower, albeit a very pretty one, she didn't mind this.
Unfortunately, just this once, Gwen was experiencing an actual problem.
As she made her way down the castle halls she crumpled the letter in a tense fist and fiddled with her skirt. Every time someone passed her, she'd smile through her worrying, and no one suspected a thing. Of course she couldn't go and ask someone for help: they were all far too busy with important stuff. No, she'd have to solve this problem on her own.
Gwen frowned and straightened her skirt as she poured a glass of juice for her old friend. As the sun beamed down on them and they sat snugly on the grass, she had to keep reminding herself that this was no ordinary picnic.
"What I don't understand, Morgana," Gwen began, pausing to take a sip, "is what's brought about this change of heart…"
Morgana, who was currently making a daisy chain and listening to birdsong, giggled at her friend. "Actually, it's a rather funny story…"
Morgana was nestled up in her evil lair, fast asleep. Murky, damp blackness enshrouded her and the gloomy smell of unwashed dishes lingered on her skin. Morgana was regretting her upbringing more and more each day: she had no idea how to run a house without a kitchen maid and deciding to set up camp inside an ugly shack had definitely been a mistake; 'rural charm' was not the phrase that sprung to mind when one first saw the unkempt ivy-coated hovel. She was beginning to feel rather a lot like a hermit, actually.
Aside from the occasional visits from Agravaine. But Morgana wasn't entirely convinced that he counted as intelligent human company. With his round face and stupid, lolloping expression, he reminded her more of a monkey.
With these thoughts streaming around her unconscious brain, it was no real wonder she had the dream she did.
Or perhaps it would be better to describe it as a nightmare.
"Emrys!" Morgana snarled madly over-dramatically, with that irritating whine to her voice that made people who had never met her before want to slap her as her hair spun about in what appeared to be a poor imitation of Bellatrix Lestrange's. "You will pay for this one day!" she gasped. "You will all pay! But… before I die… why?"
"Because you must be stopped!" replied the old man whose face had come to haunt her, holding up a hand and catapulting her to the ground.
Future-Morgana, clearly bedraggled from some epic battle, lay unmoving on the floor, impractical stilettoes evidently having been no help whatsoever. Her sickly pale face was contorted with her final irritating smirk and her darkened eyes closed, as her hideous black dress swamped her figure like a sack and made her look like death, but not warmed-up.
Morgana shot up in her pitiful excuse for a bed with a horrified expression on her face.
"Is that really what I look like?"
"And that was when it hit me, Gwen," Morgana concluded, munching on a strawberry and wiggling her toes.
"I'm sorry, Morgana, if I'm sounding stupid, but what exactly was it that hit you?" Gwen couldn't quite help but wish it had been something literal.
'Well duh!' Gwen resisted the urge to scream, choosing instead to smile understandingly and wait for Morgana, who had clearly had some sort of mental breakdown, to explain.
"I'm really, really, evil!"
Gwen's mouth twitched as she tried not to laugh at the absurdity of it all, instead watching the witch for some sign of a sinister plot. None came. Morgana simply continued to protest her evilness.
"I used to think I was on the side of right, Gwen! Can you believe that? But good people don't dress like the grim spectre of death. I thought I was standing up for wrongly persecuted magical people everywhere! It was what my sister taught me. I'm so sorry… I promise my intentions were good."
"Your intentions were good?" inquired Gwen slowly.
"Yes," Morgana responded earnestly.
"Your intentions were good when you tried to have me killed?"
"Ah…" Morgana stopped making her daisy chain and looked suitably guilty. "Yes, about that… Um… This is awkward. I am sorry, I promise. I know you don't believe me, I wouldn't. Did you see how evil I was?"
"Yes I think we've covered that."
"But look! I've changed now!" Morgana indicated her new dress. "I've gone back to purple."
"Morgana… I'm not sure changing dresses is enough…"
"And I'm going to stop killing people. Besides, you've changed dresses too."
Gwen nodded her head, noting somewhere in her mind that this was probably the strangest conversation she had ever had.
Morgana returned to her daisy chain. "I like your new look; I think it's very queenly," she nudged Gwen in the side knowingly and winked.
"See? We can go back to being friends, can't we, Gwen? You were like a sister to me for years, I really don't know what came over me when I tried to have you killed; I really, really don't! It's not as if you had done anything whatsoever to deserve me turning on you! And I don't even want to be Queen! I was just under so much pressure…" Morgana began to sob. "All you ever did was be kind and loving to me, and I tried to stab you in the back! Literally a few times! Can you ever forgive me?"
Gwen went back to chewing her lip. "Um… Well…"
Morgana looked hopefully up at her.
"Everyone has their off days," Gwen decided eventually.
With that having been said, Morgana threw herself at Gwen gleefully, and gave her a giant cuddle, afterwards presenting her with the daisy chain as a present and reaching behind her for a picnic basket.
"I brought sandwiches!" she declared.
Merlin had thought he was doing Gwen a favour when he followed her to the woods to check she was alright. He'd recognised the look of hidden panic on her face (it was one he wore often) and he'd thought it was best if someone made sure she wasn't in serious trouble. As it turned out, Gwen was absolutely fine, and when the girls moved on to the discussing which of Camelot's new knights was the most attractive, he took that as his sign to leave, but everything Merlin thought he knew about the world had just been turned on its head.
He didn't know what to do with himself.
"Are you alright, Merlin?" asked Arthur, seeing his manservant gaping at a blank stretch of wall. He turned him round and laughed loudly. "Oh, Merlin! If only you could see how ridiculous you look right now…"