Keep calm. Breathe in and out, in and out. Focus on the paper in front of you. Byakuya Kuchiki narrowed his eyes ever so slightly at the blank sheet of paper, his pale fingers clutching his calligraphy brush just a bit tighter than normal. He was trying to focus, he really was!

He'd be fine it wasn't for a certain red headed lieutenant who'd barged in late after a training session, promptly sat down at his desk, and pulled out that. That sickening, pale yellow monstrosity. Byakuya would bet his noble pride that Renji was doing it on purpose! Only there was no way his fukutaichou could know about Bykauya's… attraction to him.

Byakuya shook his head slightly. It wasn't an attraction, it was just an interest!

And he couldn't believe this… interest was being piqued by Renji eating a banana.

"Eh, taichou, you okay?" A familiar voice called.

Byakuya made the mistake of looking up.

And there it was, the bane of his existence.

The midnight haired man stared across the room at his lieutenant, and couldn't pull his slate grey eyes away. The way Renji's red, red lips were closed around the banana, how his white teeth slowly sunk into it, the way his throat moved as he swallowed. And speaking of his throat… the tanned skin of his neck, leading to his shoulders, the mysterious, tempting tattoos that followed it…

Byakuya wanted to run his hands over that skin, trace every one of the tattoos. Trail a hot tongue down the line of Renji's abdomen, watch as his fukutaichou writhed in pleasure underneath him, his chocolate eyes hazy with need…

"Taichou?"

Byakuya started, his fantasies abruptly ending. "There is no need to worry about me, Abarai. Get back to your paperwork; it is due to your lack of attention that we still have stacks of work left."

Renji nodded, turning back to his work.

Byakuya gritted his teeth. He really needed to focus. But how could he, when all he wanted to do was walk across the room and push Renji against the wall? Byakuya could see it all now. He would use shunpo and smack the wretched banana from Renji's mouth. He'd trail his lips down Renji's neck, undo his uniform, and trace the tattoos that covered his body lower and lower…

Byakuya closed his eyes in dismay. This nonsense had to stop!

But he couldn't look away, as Renji took another bite of the stupid human fruit. There was a part of Byakuya that desperately wanted to be that fruit. Why did he have to stick it in his mouth like so? Why did his lips have to slip around it in such a provocative way? Why did the curved yellow shape of the banana have to remind him of something else entirely? And why, why was there a problem forming in his pants!

"Er- taichou, are you sure you're okay? You're staring at the paperwork like you're about to kill it."

Byakuya dropped his calligraphy brush and stood up, ignoring Renji's bewildered look. "I think I shall take a break." He said, swiftly striding out the door.

It was true then- he was going crazy. Byakuya Kuchiki was jealous of a fruit.


=^.^= Poor Byakuya! That stupid fruit D:

This was just a short oneshot... lately I've been so busy... I seriously need to update on my Toshiro/Karin story. Sorry about the lack of updates, lol. Lately I've just been creeping on FF, reading stories but barely reviewing any. :( GOMEN! Just wanted to upload this, I apologize for the crappyness of it :/

I'm off to read some GrimxUlqui... they're kinda my obsession now!