In the early morning light, with the sun just barely filtering through the curtains, Diana best sees Faye. The taller girl had never been an early riser, and these days it worked to Diana's advantage. It seemed to her that Faye was a constant flurry of activity, an unstoppable whirlwind once she got started, but in the midst of slumber, she was finally still.
Diana woke, stretching languidly, and took comfort in the body she was curled up against. After sex, Faye refused contact, merely telling Diana to roll over and sleep. Somehow, though, they always woke in a tangle of limbs, burrowed into each other's crevices as if no contact was enough.
Diana smiled and turned herself to face the girl she so truly desired. She wondered what thoughts permeated Faye's dreams, what caused each unconscious twitch of lip or limb. Diana was sure Faye must be the only person alive who smirked in their sleep. With the intimacy only a lover could possess, she ran a finger down Faye's cheek, taking in its downy softness with a reverence. She peppered delicate kisses along the girl's prominent jaw, moving slowly down her neck until she carefully reached the collarbone. She took her time worshipping the length of Faye's sternum, kissing from one side to the other and back again. Every once in awhile she'd pause and take supple skin between her lips, careful not to bite, sucking softly. Her companion, still asleep, whimpered, and moved subconsciously closer to her lover. In the sweet embrace of slumber, Faye was not afraid to ask for these intimacies, not worried about feeling needy or weak if she desired something from Diana.
As her lips slowly carved a path further downwards, Diana noticed a slight flutter of eyelids. Her head rest just below the valley of Faye's bra-clad breasts, and her body was perched precariously above the still sleeping girl, her weight resting on her arms as she sat straddle. Diana gently pressed a kiss to the inside of one breast, and repeated the action for the other. Faye twitched a little more than usual at the action, but remained asleep. As gently as possible, Diana shifted all her weight to one arm, and purposefully snaked her other down the length of her lover's body. She traced easy patterns along the plains of Faye's abdomens, toying at the top of the girl's pajama bottoms, and wondered why it couldn't always be like this.
When it was just the two of them, things were surprisingly simple. They constantly challenged one another's ideas, just like they did before they were… well, whatever they were, but now it's never mean-spirited. They bantered and ribbed each other and criticized, but there was no harm intended, no venom behind the words. They made the other rise to the occasion, be it in school, magic, general conversation, sex. Their chemistry was off the charts, and when they finally met on the same level, they exploded.
But there's where the issues began.
Their feelings for each other were so apparent and so constantly threatening to spill out of the bedroom and into their day-to-day lives that it had them running scared. Diana had been terrified of other people finding out about them at first, but she soon realized that what others thought took a back seat to Faye's fears of what just being with someone meant. She no longer cared if anyone knew about her feelings for the fairer-skinned girl, she just wanted Faye to let her care about her. She sighed as she remembered the day when it all changed for her, when it became apparent that she wanted more than just a physical relationship.
The two girls had gotten into a heated argument over the discovery of Cassie's individual powers. Faye had argued to let the blonde explore what she could do, while Diana thought it best that Cassie restrain herself. After all, they had no idea how or why her abilities had manifested, and for all they knew, it could pose a danger to the group. The tension in the old house had reached such a peak that no one was even willing to pick sides, and eventually Faye had ordered everyone out, speaking in such a grim tone that no one sought to argue with her.
As the three others had filed out, Diana remembered how Faye's eyes never left hers. The moment a car engine could be heard in the background, Faye had stalked over to Diana and so roughly attacked her lips that Diana thought she would have bruises. They hadn't said anything, just removed their clothes wordlessly, and punished each other's bodies for betraying their feelings. After that day, the argument was forgotten, dropped like it had never happened. It wasn't the first time it had happened, and Diana knew it wouldn't be the last, but it was the first time she wished that they could just talk about what was happening between them.
But they didn't. They never talked about how every argument was just foreplay. Never discussed how their snarky banter doubled as flirting. Never, ever mentioned that their willingness to protect the other at all costs may have been a lot like love.
They just never talked. And that was their problem. Diana knew she wanted everything from Faye, but the other girl made no attempt to put her feelings into words, and Diana never asked her to, out of fear that it would cause their delicate little bubble to burst. If there's one thing worse than pretending there was nothing between them, it was actually having nothing between them. She couldn't go back to that.
Diana was shaken out of her reverie as she became acutely aware of inquisitive green eyes peering out from under thick eyelashes. Faye was finally awake.
"I was wondering when you were going to wake up. I thought I was going to make it all the way into your pants."
"Mmm, I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about pretending to be asleep while you went to town on my lady parts. There's nothing in this world that's better than wake-up sex. Except maybe break-up sex… and make-up sex… Actually, now that I think about it, all sex is pretty great."
Diana chuckled lightly, because that was so typically Faye, but eventually rolled away from the other girl and let out a defeated sigh. Her pleasant state of limbo had ended. Faye was in control of her actions again, and back to her usual crass self, and Diana was forced back to reality.
"Where were you, just a minute ago?"
"What do you mean? I was right here, waiting for you to wake up, goof."
"I don't mean where were you physically, 'goof', I meant what were you thinking? I was watching you for a little before you noticed me. You just disappeared into your head."
Diana blushed, not knowing what to say. This was fragile territory. Faye had never asked after her thoughts before, and she didn't want to sound like a needy little girl.
"I was just thinking. About stuff. Y'know."
Faye rolled her eyes, and shimmied down the bed until they were at the same level.
"You're Diana Meade, holder of a 4.0 GPA, winner of numerous academic decathlons, and the best you can think of is 'about stuff'? You're losing it, Di. Guess I'm a bad influence on you after all," Faye said with a wink.
"Be quiet, or I'll tell everyone you got an A- on that paper you claimed you got a C on."
"Don't push me, Faye."
Faye narrowed her eyes and regarded Diana closely for a long moment. Diana would've given anything to know what was going on in that head of hers, but Faye said nothing. Instead, her arm reached out and encircled Diana's waist. She pulled the auburn-haired girl closer, burrowing her face into the nape of the girl's neck and let out a long, contented sigh.
"When you're not right beside me when I sleep it's like someone pulling the blanket away. I don't like it. It's cold and all I want is to go back to bed but I know I can't sleep until I get my blanket back. So don't move this time. I'm still tired and I think I can milk at least another hour or two out of this until my mother gets home."
Diana's mouth hung slightly agape, but it quickly morphed into a grin as she realized what Faye was implying. "…Are you asking me to cuddle?"
"Those words never left my mouth."
"You want to cuddle. I guess I'm a good influence on you after all."
"You can easily be replaced by a body pillow, Meade, so either be quiet and let me get back to my beauty sleep, or leave and I'll just have to find a new way to get comfortable."
Diana said nothing in response, simply inched backwards into Faye's waiting embrace, and let herself be held. She was overcome by a tranquility unlike anything she'd experienced before as the rhythm of Faye's breathing slowed and she felt the taller girl fall back to sleep behind her.
While her head told her this meant nothing, that all Faye wanted was a better sleep than she was capable of achieving on her own, realistically Diana knew that this was a mark of progress. The girls may not have talked about their problems, but their actions always, always spoke louder than their words, and this was some action.
As Diana willed herself back to sleep, she was struck with a sudden thought. She knew she saw Faye best in the morning, before the girl put on the mask she displayed to the world, when she was just Faye, not theFayeChamberlain, but it never occurred to her that maybe Faye saw herself best then, too. Maybe the girl knew that within the confines of her room, with only Diana as company, she could allow herself to just be, even if it meant taking it one little step at a time.
Diana felt the clutches of sleep tugging at her, and embraced the feeling with a smile. Whatever hardships may befall them, whatever problems may plague them, they had this. In the gentle light of morning, they could try their best at honesty, and finally begin to let each other in. It wasn't going to happen overnight, and it wasn't going to happen easily, but it was going to happen, and that thought was enough to send Diana into a peaceful slumber, Faye's arms wrapped tight around her, not letting go for anything, even in the deepest reaches of her unconscious.