"Listen, if you want to talk about it, we can talk about it." Santana says to Brittany after asking her to stay after class.

"Well, I don't know. You slept with some guy again, which doesn't make sense, but whatever. You're confusing and you make my head hurt and my heart hurt and that's not fair." Brittany didn't mean for the rest to come out the way that it did but it was true, she was hurt and confused.

"I don't mean to, I really don't mean to. I'm sorry. The thing with that guy doesn't matter, I did it because I was sad and really intoxicated and I am so sorry. It doesn't change how I feel about you."

"Well, it changes how I feel about you." Brittany interrupts and Santana's heart stops.


"It changes how I feel about you." Brittany says simply, as the first kid starts to file into Santana's classroom, Brittany turned around and left.

Santana couldn't stand it, like she genuinely couldn't stand. For the rest of the day, she gave all of her students busy work and sat at her desk continuously trying and failing at grading any papers. It all fell silent at the end of the day when Santana looked up from her desk and saw a big empty classroom and then the doorway leading to a big empty hallway. Santana laid her chin down on her desk and stared at the floor of the outside hallway, praying and praying for a pair of white sneakers and long legs to walk in through the door. Santana's chest would start to shudder whenever she would hear footsteps but was sorely disappointed every time, since it was never Brittany. Santana stuck around for an hour and a half, watching and hurting. She decided to stop her suffering and gave up. She gathers her things and leaves her classroom, locking the door. She can't stop herself from going to the football field to see the Cheerios practice outside with Coach Sylvester, Santana spots Brittany instantly.

"You are creepy as fuck." Charlie chimes in.


"I'm saying you're a creepy fuck."

"And why is that?"

"You're staring at Brittany like she's giving you a lap dance or something."


"Stop acting stupid. I'm not stupid, and you're not stupid."

"What?" Santana was scared, scared that if Charlie knew their secret that she'd lose Brittany. Not even her job, fuck her job, but Brittany, Santana wouldn't recover from that.

"Relax, I'm not spreading this around school or anything, but I do assure you that if you keep being so obvious about how much you want to bang that under aged piece of ass, someone else, not as smart as I, will catch on. And then you'll really be fucked." Charlie says it so comfortably that Santana's worries almost die down, of course, she is still speechless not sure if she should admit anything right away to Charlie but she guesses that her expression and her lack of verbal reaction was enough for Charlie to figure it out.

"I just, what?" Is all Santana manages to cough up.

"Whatever." Charlie flicks her cigarette onto the ground and crushes it with her boot. She walks away from Santana and back to her little cot under the bleachers.


"What the hell?"

"Yeah, this is weird, I know but I really don't need the snark about to come out of your mouth, Quinn." Santana decided to stake out Quinn's car, she needed to talk to Brittany and she wasn't going to go rot away in her apartment.

"Santana, why are you here?" Brittany asks, squinty eyed and confused.

"I'm here because I am going to talk to you and I am not taking no for an answer."

"Okay, Quinn, can you go?" Brittany asks Quinn.

"B, you're gonna end up going home with her so why don't you just skip the crap now and just go with her to her car."

"I want you to be there, in case she makes me sad again." Brittany speaks softly.

"Santana, I have a chem test to study for, okay? So, promise me you won't hurt her or I will hunt you and your gel-loving friend down and you will regret everything. Even being born." Quinn threatens and Santana nods and accepts the responsibility.

"Alright, Britt. I love you, okay? Just call me if she's a complete ass, okay? I will be by your side in a flash." Quinn gives Brittany's shoulder a quick squeeze, she hands over a glare at Santana and then gets in her car and drives off.

"Hi." Santana coughs out.

"Hi." Brittany retorts, not really looking at Santana.

"Can I drive you home?" Santana asks.

"Sure." Brittany answers and the both walk silently over to the abandoned teacher parking lot where Santana's car is. Brittany slides into the passenger's seat and Santana sits in the driver's side.
"Brittany, I don't want you to feel differently about me. I want you to like me."

"I want to like you too, Santana. But now whenever I think about you, I don't feel good inside, I feel gross."

"Please, we can work on making you feel not gross anymore, Brittany. Please." Santana's crying and it breaks Brittany's heart but it doesn't necessarily mean that she's gonna forget the gaping hole in her chest.

"I don't know how to not feel gross, Santana."

"Well, so far I've given you lots of reasons for you to feel gross and only a few here and there for you to feel not gross. So, please if you give me the chance, I will give you every reason to make you feel good and not gross. I hate myself for making you feel the way that you do, Brittany." Santana was having trouble getting all those words out, the tears coming out her eyes made talking just about impossible.

"What if you just make me feel even more gross?" Brittany was crying too at this point, the sky too since it started raining.

"I won't, I'll do everything I can to not make you feel gross ever again, Brittany. I promise." Santana holds on to Brittany's hands and notices how cold they are, Santana rubs them together from the outside.

"Reason number 1, makes my hands warm." Brittany mutters before going into her bag and getting a notepad out, in girly childish handwriting with a pink crayon, she writes it down.

"What are you doing?" Santana laughs, taking Brittany's hands back after she's done writing.

"I'm writing down all the reasons from now on so that I don't forget and that if you do make me feel gross, I can remember. You have one, so you'll have to give me more." Brittany explains and Santana kisses her deeply. Brittany almost keeps going before pulling away and writing down another reason. Reason #2, greaaaaaattt kisssserrrrrrrr.


"Is Quinn here too?" Blaine ask excitedly with a big smile on his face when he sees Brittany and Santana walk into the apartment. He runs over to the door and looks out.

"Calm down, she's not here. She has to study for a chemistry test."

"Ugh, seriously?"

"Why are you so attached to her?" Santana asks.

"Because she's really fun and since all you ever do nowadays is mope, and all the gays in West Lima are either old or annoying, I just really want someone to hang out with." Blaine explains as he crashes down on the couch with a huff. Santana and Brittany giggle at him before joining him.

"Then call her, we can all have dinner or go to Breadstix or something."

"You think she'll say yes?" Blaine asks nervously as his cheeks turn red.

"God, why are you so nervous, gel boy? Is this your first time asking out a girl?"

"Screw you, I'm doing this in another room." Blaine grabs his phone and goes into the bathroom and they can hear him stutter from the couch. Brittany once again takes her notebook out. Reason #3, funny friend, Blaine.


"Hi, Rachel?" Charlie doesn't know what she's doing. She just drank three whiskey shots and her judgment is completely skewed.

"Hello, who is this?" Rachel's strong voice rings through Charlie's ears and she almost faints with excitement.

"I love you." Charlie blurts out, although she wouldn't say it sober, it didn't make it any less true.

"Rachel, hang up." A low voice in the background, Finn's voice, says. Charlie can't help but shudder and die a little bit at his existence.

"Hold on, Finn." Charlie can hear Rachel move around and Finn's voice getting quieter and quieter as she walks away from him.

"Is this Charlie?" Charlie stays silent. "It sounds like Quinn but raspier so it has to be you, Charlie." Still, Charlie doesn't say anything. She counts to 10 before hanging up and throwing her cell phone against the wall. It was gonna be a long night for Charlie.

look who totally updated at an appropriate time and did not make her readers wait so long. that's right, me. anyway, merry christmas.

p.s. if you're all like 'i don't give a fuck about charlie and rachel' then I am sorry, but that story line has lots of purpose later on! wooo, so either skip over it or something until it actually creates conflict.

much love, merry christmas