2 years earlier…
I'm awoken by the sound of my phone ringing. I roll over and with my tired eyes I'm able to make out the time on my phone 11:30pm. 11:30pm April 14, 2010. That date will forever be etched in my memory.
"Hello," I groggily attempt to answer the phone.
"Ashley, are you there?" It's Spencer and I can tell she's been crying.
"Yea, I'm here. What's wrong babe?"
"Ashley, I don't think I can do this anymore."
"What do you mean this? I know college is hard, but I'm sure-"
"I don't think I can handle us anymore Ashley." I can only imagine the tears streaming down her face as I hear them in her voice.
"Oh, ok." The only thing I can think to say in my stunned state.
She hangs up the phone.
And just like that, the last 2.5 years of my life flash before my eyes and all the memories of us shatter along with my heart.
I call up Chelsea, she was our best friend in high school and we're still pretty close.
"Hi. Spencer broke up with me."
"What? Ashley? What are you talking about?"
"She broke up with me Chelsea."
"I don't know. She just called me and woke me up and said she couldn't do this anymore."
"Ash, I'm so sorry."
"Don't be. I just wanted to let you know. I'll talk to you later Chels."
"Wait, Ashley, are you ok?"
"I'm fine. Really. Good night."
"…Ok, good night."
I hang up the phone and sit there, frozen. I replay everything we've been through in the past 6 months; all the sleepless nights and pointless fights. Some people may say they could have seen this coming, but not me. I never really thought she'd dump me. I trusted her. I loved her. I thought what we had was really special. You know, that kind of love that people sing about, the kind that can overcome any and everything. Apparently I was wrong.
I sat there staring at my blank computer screen, listening to my roommate snoring for about an hour before I decided to call Spencer back. I wanted an explanation. I wanted to know why the woman I'd been dating for 2.5 years and had been best friends with for many more before that had suddenly given up on what we had.
"Hey, you've reached Spencer. I can't come to the phone right now, leave a message."
I called her 37 times that night.
Every ring of the phone was another reassurance to me that that actually did just happen.
I was frantic for an explanation, frantic for Spencer to comfort me and make everything better like she always did.
37 calls. Not once did she wake up, or if she did, she didn't bother to answer her phone.
I sat in my chair in my dorm room for hours, lost in memories and regret until finally my alarm went off and I grabbed my towel and headed to the showers.
The Next Day
I zombie through my day, only physically present in my classes and at track practice.
Spencer's call to me was on repeat in my mind the entire day, closely followed by the nagging whisper of "you've really done it now. You've lost everything that ever meant anything to you."
After the embarrassing display of calls last night, I finally work up the courage to call her around 7:00.
"How's it going?"
"Pretty shitty Spencer. How's it going with you?"
"Alright. I'm sorry I missed your calls last night. I must have passed out after I called you."
"I'm glad you called Ashley, I have something I want to talk to you about."
"Ok, what is it Spence?"
"I think I'm gonna ask Aiden out."
Aiden goes to college 30 minutes away from Spencer. I got to college 6 hours away from her. I knew they'd been hanging out a lot recently, but the 3 of us were always close in high school so I never thought anything of it, but now their visits suddenly seem the furthest thing away from innocent.
A hatred I didn't even know I was capable of starts burning in the pit of my stomach.
"Ashley, are you still there?"
"Yeah Spence, I'm here."
"Well what do you think? Is that okay?"
Spencer would later try to tell me that she waited 2 weeks before moving in on Aiden after breaking my heart, but trust me, it was one fucking day.
"If that's what you want, then I think you should go for it Spence."
"Ok, I just wanted to make sure you'll be ok."
"I'll be fine. Don't worry about me."
And that's how my best friend, my girl, my entire world, left me for my ex-boyfriend.
Welcome to the soap opera that is my life.