Transformer's Whose Line is it Anyway?

By: Aristophanes

Disclaimer: Alright nice a simple: I don't own Whose Line is it Anyway? Or Transformers.

Author's Note: For all those who are wondering this is G1. Okay is that it? ::crowd nods:: Roll the story!

Whose Line is it Anyway? Transformer's Style

Host: Hello and welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway? Transformer's style! The improvisation show where points don't matter, everything is made up and the only place Megatron REALLY needs his fusion cannon.

Lights come on revealing that the host is the one and only Rumble.

Rumble: And I'm not joking. ::winks at audience:: Now let's meet our "contestants":

Camera pans over to Megatron looking VERY pissed.

Rumble: Looks like someone skipped out on their anger management classes again, Megatron!

Camera moves on to Starscream legs crossed, head in hands, chuckling.

Rumble: Did someone just kick this guy in the crouch or what?! Starscream, everyone!

The crowd cheers and claps. Megatron deathglares them and they quiet down. The camera just moves to Optimus Prime sitting there like a normal bot.

Rumble: The only one here that doesn't hear the voices in his head, Optimus Prime!

Starscream: What was that supposed to mean?

Rumble: Nothing.

Starscream: Well you better watch it punk or I'm gonna…

Megatron: What are you going to do Starscream? Bitchslap him to death?

The crowd roars with laughter. This time Starscream deathglares them to silence.

Starscream: Bite me Megs.

Rumble: Okay! Let's get back to the show.

He says this as the two 'cons started leaning towards each other, fists raised. Fortunately, they stopped. The camera man hurries and swerves the camera towards the last "contestant", Jazz who at the moment was looking very confused.

Rumble: His doctor advises him to steer clear of the caffinated coffee, Jazz !

Jazz smiles and waves at the crowd. They clap politely.

Rumble: Alrighty, let's get started. Our first game is Questions Only. This is for everyone.

The four contestants step down.

Rumble: We'll start with Prime and Megatron. They are acting out a scene but can only speak in questions. When one can't think of anymore questions, I will hit the buzzer and the next guy will step down. Got it you four? ::They nod:: The scene will be two dads at a bar.

Megs/Prime: ::snort:: yea….

Rumble: Start on the buzz. ::hits the buzzer::

Megatron: So, how many kids to you have?

Prime: Who said I had kids?

Megatron: Who said you didn't?

Prime: Why do you want to know?

Megatron: You want mine?

Prime: ::through stifled laughs:: YOU have kids?

Megatron: Yea, you wanna fight about it?

Prime: Sure! ::gets buzzed, Jazz steps down::

Jazz: So, how many kids do you have?

Megatron: Too many….. ::is buzzed, Starscream steps out laughing::

Starscream: I can believe that Megs.

Jazz: Where'd the other guy go?

Starscream: Do you really wanna know?

Jazz: What do you mean?

Starscream: ::Whispers something into Jazz's ear::

Jazz: Oh that's nasty! :: both get buzzed. As Megatron steps out, he whacks Starscream over the head.::

Prime: Want another beer?

Megatron: Are you paying?

Prime: What do you think?

Rumble: ::buzzes for the end of the game, while laughing his head off. The other four sit down:: Okay, that was thoroughly enlightening . ::contestants all snort:: Jazz wins that game for putting up with whatever Starscream told him. ::Starscream smirks:: Which, I don't want to know. Next game. This one is called Let's Make a Date. This again is for everyone.

The four contestants step down again. Megatron, Starscream, and Prime each grab a stool with an envelope on it. They look at them and all simultaneously roll their optics.

Rumble: Jazz is on a show trying to get a date. The other three are the possible dates but have to act out odd personalities. Start! ::hits buzzer::

Jazz: Bachelor #1, Where would you take me on a date?

Starscream: Ah, shove it up your ass, Autobot! ::The word "Megatron" flash across the bottom of the screen::

Jazz: ::blinks:: O….k….Bachelor #2, same question.

Megatron: ::glares at Starscream:: Certaintly not Mordor that's for sure! ::shudders:: ::The words "Frodo from LOTR" flash across bottom of the screen::

Jazz: ::Thinks "What's Mordor?":: Bachelor #3 again, same question.

Prime: No where, I'm broke. ::The words "The Authoress" flash across the bottom of the screen::

(A/N: Hey!)

Jazz: So am I! Bachelor #1, What is your idea of marriage?

Starscream: Marriage! Marriage is for the weak!

Jazz: I'll choose to ignore that. Alright, on to Bachelor #2.

Megatron: ::stares oddly at Starscream:: My idea of marriage is falling in love and spending the rest of your lives together. ::Starscream falls off his stool cracking up::

Jazz: ::is oblivious (or trying to be) to the laughing Seeker on the floor:: A normal answer for once. Bachelor #3.

Prime: Marriage? Not getting married.

Jazz: Ok..::is cut off my the buzzer::

Rumble: Alright, Jazz guess who they are.

Jazz: Starscream was just being the asshole that he is.

Starscream: ::gets up leaning against his stool:: Shut it.

Rumble: Actually, he was Megatron.

Megatron: ::leaps up:: I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!

Jazz: Megatron was someone from Lord of the Rings.

Rumble: Frodo, yes.

Jazz: And Prime was a normal person.

Rumble: He was the Authoress.

Megatron/Starscream: ::snicker behind their hands::

Prime: ::deathglare::

Rumble: NEXT GAME! This is called Theatre Themes. This will be for Megatron and Starscream. They will act out a scene and when I hit a buzzer they will improvise using one of the theatre or movie theme which the audience will provide.

The camera pans over to the audience as they shout out suggestions.

Audience: X-Files!

Rumble: ::writing:: uh huh…

Audience: Swedish Porn!

Rumble: Okay. ::still writing::

Audience: Yu-Gi-Oh!

Rumble: Alright, one more.

Audience: Harry Potter !

Rumble: That's good. The scene will be two people without a date at the senior prom.

Start! ::slaps buzzer::

Starscream: This sucks.

Megatron: You said it.

Starscream: So why couldn't you find a date?

Megatron: I had one but she canceled on me.

Starscream: ::mutters:: I can see why.

Megatron: Shu..::is cut off by buzzer::

Rumble: Harry Potter

Starscream: So, Hermione dumped you Ron?

Megatron: Yup, that b**ch.

Starscream: Well, it sucks to be you !

Megatron: No, it sucks to be YOU! ::pretends to tap him with a wand, Starscream hops around like a frog::

Starscream: Ribbit!

Megatron: Now that's what I call magic! ::buzzer sounds::

Rumble: X-Files.

Megatron: Oh no! The amphibious alien got to him! He's turned into a frog like the rest of them! What am I gonna do?! Oh yea! ::pretends to pull a test tube from behind his back:: The antidote! ::pours it on Starscream, again pretending::

Starscream: TOOK YOU LON…::stops::

Megatron: What? ::Starscream points behind him, he turns around:: OH S**T!!! ::pretends to get attacked and falls on the floor twitching, Starscream just stands there and laughs:: ::buzz::

Rumble: Yu-Gi-Oh.

Starscream: Oh no! My Dark Magician is being attacked by that creature! Oh why did this have to happen on the night on my prom?!

Megatron: ::recovers:: DARK MAGIC ATTACK! ::"kills" the "creature"::

Starscream: Yes I won! ::throws hands in the air in triumph::

Rumble: ::buzzes for the end of the game, the other two sit down:: Good game, good game. I didn't use the Swedish Porn for two reasons: 1) Starscream would've killed me. 2) Megatron would dig me up from my grave and then kill me again. To make that simple I just didn't want to get killed. Okay, back to the game. We will finish up with Party Quirks. ::four contestants stand up, everyone but Starscream grabs and envelope and looks at it:: Starscream is playing a host of a party and has invited some guests but they are acting out odd quirks, thus the name. I will make doorbell noises to symbolize when each person comes in. Begin!

Starscream: Ah, everything is in order, now I'll just wait for my guests. ::doorbell:: Finally! ::goes over and opens an imaginary door, Megatron steps through:: Welcome!

Megatron: huh? ::stumbles into Starscream:: Who are you? ::touches Starscream's face as if finding out who he is:: ::the words "An Old Blindman" flash across the screen:: Oh! Your that new boy from down the street. I'm gonna kill ya for running over my cat!

Starscream: ::nervously:: Oh, uh, that was my younger brother with his bike!

Megatron: Yea, sure. ::trys to sit down but falls on his face as if he missed the chair::

Another doorbell noise is heard.

Starscream: ::under his breath:: Thank God! ::goes over and opens the "door":: Hi!

Jazz: Hi! I've come to provide the music for the party! ::the word "Himself" flashes across the screen::

Starscream: Thanks you, you DJ!

Rumble: ::hits buzzer, Jazz sits down:: Close enough. He was himself a.k.a the Autobot's private D.J. ::hits the doorbell again::

Starscream: ::opens the "door":: Last person to arrive!

Prime: Can you hear me now? ::pretends to have a cell phone and talking to someone:: Good! ::the words "The Guy From the Verizon Commercial" flash across the screen::

Starscream: ::blinks:: Right……

Megatron: God damnit I've lost my teeth. ::crawls around on the floor feeling for the "teeth"::

Starscream: That's nice you old man.

Rumble: ::buzzes, Megatron sits down:: He was an old blindman. ::Starscream snorts::

Prime: ::walks over to the other end of the stage:: Can you hear me now? ::pauses:: Good! ::does this a couple more times at different points of the stage::

Starscream: ::holds up the peace sign:: You work for Verizon don't you?

Rumble: He was that guy from the Verizon commercials. You know the guy, the one you sometimes want to shoot? ::audience nods:: ::Prime and Starscream sit down:: Alright I've tallied up the points. And Jazz wins! ::audience claps, Jazz bows and the other contestants sulk:: That's our game for tonight folks! See ya next time on Whose Line is it Anyway? Tranformer's style!

The camera pans out and finally fades to black.